Number 24
Madge is wearing some fancy nightwear that she got from Gaby and Lou is most approving! Julie knocks at the door before they can get any further.
JULIE: Bed time already?!
MADGE: No, no, not quite.
Julie's popped around for a chat - she tells them that she can't stand her stepson but he's come back and is charming everyone else in the family. She shares her fears that he's trying to break up the family and explains how he's nasty to her every time Phil turns his back. Lou wonders if Julie's overreacting, which annoys Julie - that's Philip's usual reaction! She explains how Michael is now turning Debbie against her too. Madge warns her that it takes two to tango, which upsets Julie more! Madge tells her to ignore Michael's behaviour and he'll get sick of doing it. Julie seems relieved that she's been taken seriously.
Number 26 - Kitchen
Doug is looking at the plumbing of the kitchen sink. He asks Michael if he's got up to much mischief at boarding school, but Michael reckons that he's been too busy studying. Julie walks in and asks if he's found her engagement ring.
JULIE: I'd die if it's been washed away.
MICHAEL: Maybe this is an omen.
Doug says that they've been chatting about his school. As Michael walks out, Julie pointedly remarks that both she and Philip are proud of him.
Number 26 - Living Room
Post-heart-attack Jim is sleeping on the sofa. Michael grins and creeps up behind him.
MICHAEL: JIM!
Jim wakes up in breathless shock. Julie rushes in, wanting to know what's gone on. She rebukes Michael - Jim's just had a heart attack!
JULIE: Are you ok?
JIM: Yeah. I'm fine. Great sense of humour that kid(!)
Doug walks in with a piece of the sink - he gives Julie her engagement ring back. Julie is extremely pleased and kisses Doug on the cheek. He tells her to be more careful in future and not to wash the dishes with her rings on.
Phil walks in, looking slightly stressed. He's pleased that Julie's got her ring back but doesn't know how to break the news to them that Helen and Dorothy are in the cells. He suggests that Julie should sit down!
Jail cells
Helen can't believe that she let Dorothy talk her into taking things so far. Dorothy says that they were standing up for basic human rights and it's not her fault that Helen's ended up in jail!
HELEN: I was defending you!
DOROTHY: Well, I didn't ask you to.
They whinge for a while but then Dorothy says that they should be positive about their incarceration - it brings back warm memories of her protests in the 60s. Dorothy says that she's been locked up in crummier cells than these ones. A police officer opens the door and two prostitutes enter.
POLICE OFFICER: You might be able to learn something from each other!
HELEN: How do you do?
SIMONE: How do you do?(!) Looks like we're going to have some fun with these two, Rhonda!
The Waterhole
Madge is horrified to hear that Helen is in prison. She firmly blames Dorothy because she's an exhibitionist! She's not happy that Jim's in the Waterhole - he should be in bed!
DOUG: I managed to drag him out of the house. It's ok, it won't hurt him.
MADGE: Since when are you a doctor?!
Jim promises that he isn't going to overdo it but Madge says she won't be serving him alcohol. Jim and Doug sit at a table and Jim's exasperated about how much he's being mollycoddled. Doug says it's better that than nobody caring! Jim wishes that Pam was around.
JIM: She knew there was something wrong right from the start and even when I ignored it, she wouldn't let up.
DOUG: Well, that's what she's trained for.
JIM: No, no, it's more than that, mate. She really cares about people, you know?
DOUG: Yeah, I know. She's my wife!
Jim thinks she's a very special lady. Lou comes over with a form guide and asks Doug for his help. Doug says that Pam helped him to kick his gambling addiction a long while ago and he's not willing to look at the form. Lou says he's going to go back to the old system.
LOU: Madge?! Got a pin?!
Jail cells
Simone is getting uncomfortably close to Helen and trying to intimidate her. Rhonda joins in and accuses Helen of never having wanted for anything in her life. Dorothy tells them to back off but Helen insists that she can speak for herself. Helen is outraged that they think she is prejudiced - they're the ones making accusations without knowing her at all.
HELEN: If I'm standoffish, it's because you've been extremely rude and intimidating. Now I'm warning you, if you're looking for an argument, I'm just in the mood to oblige!
Rhonda and Simone look quite abashed. Helen says that if they weren't so aggressive, they might learn something about human nature. They all agree to start again.
DOROTHY: Well, now we're friends, let's have a game, shall we? How about charades? I'll go first!
(Is this normal prison etiquette?!)
Number 26
Julie takes off her engagement ring before washing up. Michael sits at the kitchen table watching her. Phil rushes in telling Julie to get a move on else they'll be late for court.
JULIE: I'm not in favour of her associating with that Dorothy Burke.
PHIL: I think Helen's old enough to choose her own friends, don't you?!
JULIE: She's obviously a bad judge of character. It worries me, Philip - that woman is the principal of Debbie's school! I mean, what sort of example is she setting?
Phil tells her to calm down and get a move on! He leaves whilst Julie finishes off in the kitchen.
JULIE: Michael, would you mind finishing up here for me, darling?
MICHAEL: Why are you being so nice?
JULIE: I've decided not to play your little game, so you can try as hard as you like to make me hate you but I won't, so why don't you just give up?
MICHAEL: (sneering) I'll never give up.
Julie hands him the teatowel, which he does take off her. Julie walks through to the living room where Phil and Hannah are. Hannah wants to go too but Julie doesn't want her to go to court. She tells her to go and sit with Jim, who is reading in bed. As Hannah goes to Jim's room, she looks over at the kitchen and spies Michael taking Julie's engagement ring.
Outside Court
Dorothy is furious and doesn't think that Helen should've backed down to the magistrate. Helen says that if she hadn't, they'd have received a much larger fine and 6 months in jail! She says that one night was more than enough for her! Phil and Julie drive up.
JULIE: You poor thing, you must have been through hell.
HELEN: Not really! I'll try anything once!
JULIE: You wouldn't have to if it weren't for *some* people.
Julie looks pointedly at Dorothy.
DOROTHY: It's very nice of you to come and pick us up.
JULIE: We've come to take Gran. You can make your own way home!
PHIL: Julie!
Phil looks pointedly at Julie.
JULIE: Well, why should we?!
HELEN: Julie, if you don't give Dorothy a lift, I'm not coming either.
JULIE: How can you stick up for her after everything she's put you through?
Julie goes over to Dorothy. Behind her, Rhonda and Simone are walking over.
JULIE: Philip's told us about your little performance in court. Did you ever stop to think about the humiliation that you were inflicting my grandmother to?
Rhonda and Simone want to know how the court case went. Julie looks most appalled and asks Helen who they are.
SIMONE: We're old mates, aren't we, Helen?
POLICE OFFICER: Come on you two, move it!
JULIE: Don't tell me you had to spend the night with these two?
SIMONE: Ahem!
JULIE: Was I speaking to you?!
Julie turns back to Helen.
JULIE: First drink driving and jail, and now you're befriending this type!
SIMONE: And what were you saying about human nature, Helen?
JULIE: Are you going through a midlife crisis or something?!
Helen says that if she had her life over again, she wouldn't change a thing. Dorothy is triumphant at Helen's remark and they both bid goodbye to Rhonda and Simone. Julie looks dumbstruck and leans in to Phil.
JULIE: I'm going to get that woman away from Gran if it's the last thing I do. She's got a big mouth.
SIMONE: Look who's talking!
Phil has to repress a smirk! Julie gets in the car, but Phil seems more interested in watching the prostitutes walk down the street in their rather short skirts!
Number 26
Helen, Dorothy, Julie, Phil, Michael and Hannah are in the living room. Dorothy is going on about her battle with the magistrate.
JULIE: I'd rather you didn't glorify your crimes in front of Hannah.
Dorothy agrees to be quiet but suggests that Helen pop around to hers to discuss the next course of action.
JULIE: The next course of action is that Gran's going to put a stop to all of this and pay the fine.
DOROTHY: Oh no she isn't!
JULIE: What?!
DOROTHY: Otherwise our night in prison would have been in vain.
MICHAEL: (laughing triumphantly) Haha! Go for it!
Julie is not at all impressed. Dorothy leaves and Julie goes into the kitchen. She finds that her ring is missing. She and Phil hunt around the sink but can't find it.
HANNAH: Why don't you ask Michael?
JULIE: Michael, can you come in here, please? Did you see my ring when you were washing up this morning?
MICHAEL: No.
HANNAH: He did, Mummy, he took it!
PHIL: Hannah, that can't be true.
HANNAH: I saw him!
PHIL: Michael?
MICHAEL: Well, you don't believe her?!
PHIL: ...well, if Michael says he didn't take it, then...
JULIE: So now you're taking his word over hers, are you?
PHIL: ...well, why would Hannah lie, Michael?
MICHAEL: It's because she hates me! And Julie hates me too! And now you're taking their side just like always!
(Give up now, Phil!) Michael storms out. Phil leans down to Hannah.
PHIL: You might have been mistaken.
HANNAH: (sadly) No one ever believes me.
Hannah walks off.
JULIE: Well done(!)
Julie walks off after Hannah. Phil looks utterly confused.
Coffee Shop
Doug is eating lunch when Jill Weir walks in. Jill says that she went to the building site to find out that he was here. She comments that this was the same place they met all those months ago. Doug says she looks terrific. Jill says she looks a lot better than when they first met and she's a lot better than she was back then. He invites her to join him for lunch.
Number 30
Dorothy doesn't want Helen to pay the fine because that means that the people they were fighting against will win. Jim doesn't agree - he thinks that she should pay the fine. Dorothy says that Helen has a moral obligation, else other innocent people will be persecuted too. Helen agrees but Jim warns that the whole situation is getting completely out of hand. He announces that he's going to do something about it himself and walks out.
Coffee Shop
Jill didn't realise that Doug had been given an ultimatum by her mother-in-law and is surprised that he was willing to lose such a big contract for her.
DOUG: You're a special lady.
Doug says that both he and Pam care for Jill. Jill is shocked that Pam didn't mind but Doug says that she couldn't stand being blackmailed. Doug reveals that Pam is overseas and Doug tells her that he's pretty lonely boy at the moment because Gaby and Brad are out most of the time. Jill wants Doug to stay for another coffee but he has to get back to the building site. He tells her not to be a stranger. Jill looks thoughtful.
The Waterhole
Lou is on the phone to the bookmaker. He thought he had more in his account than he does, so he'd best back some winners.
MADGE: Running out of playing money are we, Lou?
LOU: Not for long, my love.
MADGE: I told you, didn't I? Gambling is trouble, especially when you don't know what you're doing.
LOU: I know what I'm doing. I'm working out a system.
MADGE: Oh yeah?! You'd be much better off closing your eyes and picking any old horse.
Lou does just that!
LOU: Aha!
He wanders off to call the bookmaker. Michael walks in and goes to the bar.
MICHAEL: I'll have a bourbon and dry, thanks.
MADGE: Hmm! Will you now?
MICHAEL: What's your problem?
MADGE: I'm not serving you! How old are you? 16?
MICHAEL: I'm 18 and I've got ID to prove it, ok?
MADGE: This should be good.
Michael triumphantly gets out some ID.
MADGE: Haha! I've seen those phoney student cards before. You can get into trouble flashing that around.
MICHAEL: And you could be in trouble for refusing to serve me!
MADGE: Don't you threaten me.
Michael has a huge stack of notes which he waves about.
MICHAEL: My money's as good as anybody's.
MADGE: Not here it isn't. Now go on, clear off, before I call security.
MICHAEL: When you do, tell them about this.
He grabs some glasses off the bar and angrily smashes them on the floor.
LOU: Oi!
MICHAEL: You stupid old hag!
Michael leaves and Lou rushes after him. Madge tells him not to bother.
Number 30
Dorothy says she's going to ask Cameron to write a piece in the paper. Helen isn't keen because she doesn't want the whole of Erinsborough knowing about her blood/alcohol level. She says she just wants to forget it. Dorothy says the speeding charge shouldn't be forgotten about. Jim comes over.
HELEN: Jim! You're not up and about again? I wish you'd take better care of yourself.
JIM: I just walked across the road for pete's sake!
Jim says that he's paid Helen's fine. Both Dorothy and Helen are outraged but Jim thinks that Dorothy is filling Helen's head with ideas of fighting it to the end and someone had to see sense! Helen says she's capable of making her own decisions.
Number 26
Michael walks in and Phil's reading the paper. Michael says he'll keep out of his way but Phil insists that they have a chat. Michael wants to know if he's going to accuse him of taking Julie's ring again. Phil tells him that Hannah's his child too so he can't totally ignore anything she says. Michael suggests that he take his side for once instead of everyone else's. Phil says that they're all part of the same family - it shouldn't be about taking sides, they should all be able to get along. Michael puts on a brilliantly sickening act:
MICHAEL: All I wanted when I came here was for Julie to accept me. But she's always hated me and I guess she always will.
PHIL: That's not true!
MICHAEL: Yes it is, Dad! You know it and I know it. I've really tried to show her how different I am now but she just doesn't want to know about me. I had these big ideas that we could be like one big happy family and I could stay here where I thought I belonged. Maybe I should just pack up now and head back?
PHIL: I don't want you to do that. Just give it some more time. I'm sure it'll work out.
MICHAEL: (faking tears) But if I stay here, she might turn you against me.
PHIL: No-one is going to turn me against my own son! Especially now you're getting your act together. Julie'll come round. I'm sure of it.
MICHAEL: I hope so, Dad. I really want to be part of this family again.
PHIL: Leave it to me.
Michael smirks to himself.
The Waterhole
Madge is struggling to clear up the bar. Lou is listening to a horse race through some headphones.
MADGE: There's glass everywhere. I should get the police onto that rotten kid. I bet his parents don't know what he's up to. Have you seen him around here before, Lou? Lou?
Lou is engrossed in the horse race. Madge yanks the headphones out of his ears.
MADGE: Lou, you are becoming such a bore with that thing in your ear all of the time!
Lou gets a winner. He grabs Madge and says it's all thanks to her - because she told him to close his eyes and pick a number and it worked. Madge is embarrassed at his behaviour in front of the customers. He says that he's won a packet and in the future he's going to pay strict attention to her! He dives over the bar to kiss his lucky charm - Madge is not impressed!
Number 26
Phil is desperately trying to convince Julie to give Michael a chance.
JULIE: Me give him a chance?! I see.
PHIL: I know he's been a brat, but so was Debbie when we first got married and look how close you are now. You could be that close to Michael in time.
(Yeah, you've only been married 7 or 8 years, you need to give it time, Julie!) Julie tells Phil that she's never been more disappointed in him. She understands that he wants to see the best in Michael but he's doing it at the expense of her and Hannah - she tells him that he's blind and stupid, which unsurprisingly, annoys Phil!
Helen walks in with Lou and Madge.
HELEN: Madge and Lou just had a rather nasty incident over a young boy at the Waterhole.
MADGE: Yeah, he was obviously underage and he got upset when I wouldn't serve him and smashed some glasses.
LOU: I'd like to know where he got all of that money from. Probably pinched it.
MADGE: Oh yeah! If I see him again I'd be prepared to give him what for!
Jim walks in with Michael. Madge and Lou look stunned to see him, but Phil doesn't notice!
PHIL: Ah, you haven't met my son. Michael, this Mrs Bishop and Mr Carpenter.
MADGE: Oh yeah, we've met. This is the hooligan in the bar I was telling you about!
Number 28
Jill has called around with some dinner for Doug because she thought he might be lonely. Doug is rapt to see her and invites her in. He says she looks terrific. As Doug puts the dinner in the oven, Jill puts a picture of Pam face down!