The Recap in which TPTB demonstrate Continuity
JP admits to Sky that he's a fake; Connor wants Ned to be nice again; Sky invites JP round late at night.
Aaaah...Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours... Come on, sing along.
Number 24 where they may Discuss Art
Sky is looking at a still life drawing when JP knocks on the door. She makes herself look all nice and opens the door. JP asks if she's on her own and she is, because her granddad and his 'friend' have gone out. Ahem. JP has wine, so they can discuss art.
You know, 'discuss art.' Yeah, right.
Number 26 where Lyn may be Doing A Sindi
Cute shot of Charlie.
Susie and Lyn go all gooey over baby Charlie. Lyn wants to know what happened with Katya, and Susan feels bad - she really let fly at Katya. But Susan feels that at 22, Katya still needs mothering herself, and that she's just not old enough to take care of two teenagers with problems of their own. Plus - Katya's now started asking Susan for advice, and maybe she realises that taking custody of the kids wasn't the right decision? Lyn is just pleased that the two of them are talking.
Susan says that she doesn't know how much to interfere, though. Lyn, on the other hand, has no problem with that - just interfere *all* the way.
She doesn't have to take Charlie home tonight, to give Steph and Max some time alone. It was her idea, and Susan suggests that maybe that's above and beyond the call of duty? Maybe Steph feels it's a bit possessive? Lyn disagrees. She missed out on Oscar's early months and this is giving her a second chance. A Second Chance. Viewers everywhere can hear the alarm bells ringing more loudly than Isabelle's ego.
Lyn asks if Susie has been talking to Steph. Susan says that she and Steph talk all the time. Do they? Like, when? Other than the cancer thing a few months ago, when have Steph and Susan ever really talked? Like - never. You know?
Lyn wonders about the Christening thing, and Susan says it's their right to choose for their child. Lyn has no problem with Steph and Max having their own opinions. Really. None at all.
LYN: But what about Charlie's rights? ....But they can't deny baby Charlie a chance at eternal life. It's just not fair. It's just my duty to look out for him.
Erm, that kinda assumes that you believe a Christening gives a child eternal life. And Steph and Max don't, so...
And also, the fundamental argument is surely that if Charlie has rights, then it's his right to choose whether or not he wants to be baptised when he's older; and given that his parents aren't church-goers, it's not necessarily a likely thing?? Call me dumb, but...
Poll: Is Lyn Doing A Sindi and going all psycho on us?
Oh, and Susan is *still* wearing those damn earrings. I'm gonna send her some new ones; they're bugging me.
(Still loving the Autumn look, though.)
Number 32 where Max is a Man
Steph and Max are having a nice meal together, but Steph is desperately missing her baby. She knows she's having chemo, but she feels okay, and actually she feels worse when he's not with her. She wants the chance to be a proper mother and look after Charlie; she wants to be the one to wake up and care for him.
Max makes an executive and manly decision - they'll go and get Charlie.
Number 26 where they make a Getaway
Max and Steph arrive to take Charlie home. Lyn isn't keen - she thinks they need some time and Steph needs a rest, but Steph insists. Lyn gives in - she'll get Oscar up and come over. Steph doesn't want that, and Susan tries to suggest that Lyn stay home and just keep her phone by her bed in case they need her.
Lyn is packing things, and Susan makes eyes at Steph and Max to leave whilst she placates Lyn.
Lyn says she needs to be there on the spot in case Steph wakes up...but they've gone. Susan does her 'calming' hands routine.
The Scarlet Bar where I just want To Cringe
Connor and Ned are chatting up two women who want Cosmopolitans to drink. Ned tells them not to drink that rubbish and goes to order them white wines. Connor tells him not to be so rude - he doesn't want Ned screwing up his chances with those women. And while he's at it, can Ned cut the mean guy thing? It's boring, and it's just not him.
Boring's one word for it. Mind-numbingly and pathetically depressing is another five. (Bad Acting is two.)
A random extra wanders by and bumps into Ned (scripted), who pretends to lose it and suggests they take it outside. Oooh. I'm scared. Connor diffuses the situation and says that Ned's only joking.
And the women are gone.
NED: Easy come, easy go.
Pity the same can't be said for his contract.
Connor tells him he's laughable. You know, in this scene, I actually prefer Connor. It's not often I can say that.
Number 24 where we think Harry and Lou may be a Couple
JP and Sky talk art. I won't relay it as I don't care. Sky admits that actually she got JP to her house under false pretences; she had a fight with Dylan about JP. Dylan's threatened, and Sky's feeling really embarrassed now. JP wonders what on earth Sky has been telling Dylan to make him feel like that - he's quite flattered someone's arguing over him!
JP leans in to kiss Sky, but Lou and Harold arrive home, bickering. They're arguing over feather quilts and allergies...then notice JP. She introduces JP to Harry, then his 'friend' Lou.
LOU: Don't mind us; we'll be in bed in a minute. I just want to check my emails.
Cue hysterical laughter from me and a cute look from JP.
Harry asks JP how Sky's doing at college, and thanks him for extra tutoring. 'Tutoring.' Great word.
Cut to later, and Lou says there's no news from Moscow. To JP:
SKY: Lou's got a Russian internet friend.
LOU: Do you mind? Divine creature.
HARRY: Predatory gold-digger.
JP: I'm sorry, but I think you should tread with real care.
LOU: You do?
JP: Well I'm probably speaking out of turn, here, but I hope you're not going to let someone you met on a website ruin your relationship?
LOU: Er, what relationship?
JP: You both have so much in common, so much history. All the years you've spent together, bringing up Sky...
Sky laughs, and Harry and Lou just squirm on the sofa. Lou stumbles over words to try and explain...
LOU: Oooaaah...aaah...ohhh...oh, oh, oh, no, you can't, bl...no, we, don't...b, b between me and Harold, oh no......
LOU: Oh, that is the last straw! I used to have an identity in this town. I had a reputation as a, as a, as a LADIES man. And in here, what happens? I become one half of a double act. Well, that's it. I've had it with you mate. You and your sad little excursions. You wanna play happy retirees, you go ahead and do it by yourself! I've got a life to live!
Harry cracks up and JP apologises profusely. Laughing, Harold goes to make some tea.
See? Community, heart, relationships...FABULOUS scene.
Number 32 where Charlie is Life-Giving
Steph sits alone in the kitchen talking quietly to Charlie. Max stands in the doorway listening. She tells him she loves getting to know him, and that it's her turn now. He doesn't tire her out, he gives her energy; since he's been around, she's never felt stronger. Max comes in and kisses her.
Number 24 where I am Very Childish
JP tells Sky they've found a connection, but it's platonic, and there's no need for her to feel guilty about Dylan. She and him clearly have something good, and it's worth hanging onto. Sky laughs - he was so passionate about the solitary artist thing. But JP says he doesn't want her to make the same mistake - he left a relationship to become emotionally unfettered in his art, and now he's alone. And artistically impotent.
Which makes me laugh very childishly.
Sky says he's not impotent, just blocked, and I laugh even harder. She tells him he needs to jolt it out of himself, and I have to stop doing this summary for a few moments whilst I get some tea.
Anyway, she's going to search for some inspiration for him - can he come over tomorrow? He sure can. It all gets intense for a second, and he gets up to leave. In the doorway they stand and...and......nothing. Harold appears looking for Sky.
Number 32 where Lyn is Too Much
Early in the morning, Lyn arrives, and asks how Steph is. She's great, and tells her mother that Charlie's asleep - he slept right through. Lyn wants to get him so up he'll be back in his routine but Steph stops her.
Steph tells Lyn that they both really appreciate her help, but they can manage it now. She wants Charlie to herself, and to spend time with him. Max butts in and says that they appreciate her - but... Steph ends the conversation. They don't really need her right now.
Lyn says that she understands. Really. Like, you know, really.
The backyard of Number 30 where I don't Get It
Connor in a bunny outfit. Ned in pyjamas.
And yet I *still* prefer to watch Connor.
Connor is filming Ned, who tells him that he's only just gotten to bed. He also tells him that he looks like an idiot in that outfit; Connor thinks he looks cute. Connor tells him that it's HoT tradition to do an Easter egg hunt on Good Friday, and that there are eggs hidden all over the garden.
Ned tells him that the HoT traditions are:
Hmmm. Not unlike other elements of this scene. Ned says he's going back to bed, and Connor asks him politely if he can just humour him - he's gone to a lot of trouble.
NED: Find them yourself.
CONNOR: But I know where they are. I hid them.
Ned strops off and Connor bounces off to find eggs. He wiggles his bum.
Connor survived and Lil died. And it's apparently good drama.
A Street where Lou is Being Virile
Harry tells Lou that they're behind schedule, and returns to the bike. Lou is talking to a couple of women, and tells Harry that one woman has asked him to clean her pool, so he'll have to West Warratah on his own. Harry understands - the woman's going to pay him more than this job?
Lou corrects him - when the woman has asked him to 'clean' her pool,' she doesn't mean 'clean her pool.' A bit like the 'finding out what's in your cave,' thing, then (cf 4689
HARRY: Oh, right. Then what does she mean?
Lou winks at him.
HARRY: LOU! That's disgusting! You've only just met the woman!
LOU: I'm a fit virile man in my prime. I'm taking every chance I can get, not wasting my time distributing stupid leaflets!
Number 24 where Sky is Inspiring
Sky's on the phone to Dylan and apologising for last night - she's left three apologies now, and he can call her back. There's a knock at the door and it's JP. He tells her that he's going to practice what he preaches - inspiration comes from the head and the heart, and he's searched both. And all he sees is Sky.
Number 26 where Lyn is Turning Weird
Lyn is playing with Oscar, and Steph turns up with Charlie. Her appointment for Charlie went well - he's perfect according to the doctor. Steph thanks her mum for all she's done - she knows she's lucky to have her, and it's important that she's big part of Charlie's life.
She checks that she and Lyn are okay, then asks her to have Charlie for an hour whilst she does some things around the house. Lyn concedes - of course she can have him. "Come to nanna."
Steph leaves, and Lyn holds her necklace cross in her hands before kissing it. Then makes the sign of the cross on Charlie's head.
Freaky, or really freaky? Lyn is definitely Doing A Sindi.
Number 24 where it's Coming Out
JP is drawing Sky, but it's not going well. He worries what happens if his artistic ability has gone! OMG, will the world end?! It might, if the look of panic on his face is to be believed! Sky says she knows she can bring it out of him. She just knows it, and to prove it, she kisses him!
Well, she's certainly bringing *something* out of him, but I'm not sure it's his artistic ability...
JP apologises and runs off, and Sky's all 'what happened?'
A Street where it ain't going to Happen
Harold leans over some railings where Lou is cleaning out a woman's pool. He's also changed tap washes, a light bulb, cleaned out some guttering...
Lou's waiting for her to come back so he can collect his reward. Harry isn't sure that's actually going to happen, and Lou realises that it really isn't, so they agree to go home.
Aw, poor Lou!
Number 24 where there's no Outlook
Sky is on the phone asking Elle if she can talk to Dylan, but he's busy. Harry and Lou return home and Harry tells Lou to cheer up. Lou thinks he's lost the knack, though - he can't pull anymore! He wasn't good enough for her or little Mishka Mouse. But Lou's decided.
LOU: Enforced celibacy is a fate I must accept with dignity.
Lou has emails, though - a Word Document has mysteriously appeared on the screen (the window made VERY small, but it's a Word document) telling him he has one new message. What? They couldn't even install Outlook for that purpose?
Maybe Sayaka could have written some code for them.
The email's from Mishka - sorry she hasn't been in touch, but she's been seeing family. She's on her way to Australia...and can't wait to meet him!
Line of the episode:
LOU: Enforced celibacy is a fate I must accept with dignity.
Best performance of the episode:
Tom Oliver for being so shocked...
Best 'Rock On' moment:
She didn't mean 'clean out her pool'
The scene that TPTB forgot to include:
The one where Susan remembers *her* children being christened...