The Bishops'
Harold is stunned that Joe thinks he has a smutty mind, and "being a deviant." Poor Harold is mortified, but is too upset to tell Madge about it. He goes off to his bedroom just as Tad arrives home to an annoyed Madge who has been speaking to Tess. Tess wants to arrange a meeting the following day with Harold and Madge to talk about Tad...Tad can guess what it's about.

The Scullys'
Joe is telling the rest of the family that Harold was checking out Lyn and her knickers. Steph and Flick are making jokes about it. Joe wants to confront Harold, but Lyn insists that he needs to stop talking about it in front of the girls. She asks Michelle to go and feed the dog, Flick to peel the potatoes, and Steph to help fold the sheets. But Steph conveniently has to go make a few deliveries, and can't really help out now - she's ever so sorry.
Joe says that if Harold comes near Lyn again, he won't know what hit him.

The Bishops'
An upset Harold says he's going round to the Scullys' to clear his name, but Madge thinks that people need a chance to calm down. Harold says he's calm - although it's clear that he's anything but.
Tad and Paul are talking about Flick, but Tad is looking out the window and sees Karl returning home with Susan. Susan! Hurrah! This recap just got better. Well, it will. I promise. Tad wants to go round and talk to her about Tess, so he lets Paul go to The Coffee Shop alone.

The Kennedys'
Susan has just returned from her conference (see ep 3420) and asks Karl if there's any exciting news from the home front - he says no, but there was a surveyor outside the Scullys' the other day, which he thinks is slightly suspicious. Tad comes to the door and asks if Susan has read his letter yet which, of course, she hasn't.
Karl butts in and says that Mrs Kennedy (aw - I'm all sad, now) has only just arrived home and hasn't really had time to read letters. Tad ignores Karl completely and starts to tell Susan about Tess and the meeting she has arranged. He wants to set the record straight with Susan before Tess gets to her. Suse can't believe that the two of them still aren't getting on - and besides which, she's only just got home.
SUSAN: I will talk to you about this, but please at school and tomorrow.
TAD: No, no, no, not tomorrow...
KARL: Go now, please.
TAD: Hang on, I just need to talk...
KARL: Ciao. Ciao banana.
TAD: I need to talk...
KARL: Arrivaderci
TAD: But...
KARL: Bye bye, auf wiedersehn, go go go go ...

(Karl closes the door after Tad)

KARL: Thank you.

The Scullys'
Harold is showing an un-amused and uninterested Joe pictures of the Honeyeater, and explaining how rare it is, and so when he saw one in his garden...blah blah blah.

Michelle tap dances in the background. I can't TELL you how annoying that is.

Joe says he's never seen a bird like this before, and Harold repeats that they're rare. Lynnie suggests that Joe should apologise, and Joe agrees that maybe he jumped the gun a bit, before asking 'angel' to do the tap dancing somewhere else. She says she won't. What happened to doing what you were told? I had to in my day. Lyn suggests she therefore dance without the shoes. Oh - good one. Ask your child to do something and then renege on it - good parenting I don't think.

(deep breath)

Lyn thanks Harold for coming over and sees him out the door:

LYN: Love to Marge!

Lyn tells Joe that he was far too harsh on Harold, but Joe believes that if you give a man like that an inch, he'll take a mile. Lyn says that Harold probably didn't even see her there anyway - but Joe says that he couldn't have missed a gorgeous woman like Lyn.

Aw.

The Coffee Shop
Paul is at TCS and Flick asks how "the perve" is (ie, Harold). Paul explains the rare bird scenario, but Flick's not having any of it. Paul asks if she has the latest album from some band I didn't catch the name of. Flick dismisses it, but Michelle is all admiring of Paul and talking about the band as if they're the greatest thing on earth.

Obsessions like that aren't healthy, Michelle. I should know.

Paul leaves and Michelle offers to buy him a drink and talk about Battery Acid - I'm guessing that was the name of the band, then. Paul ignores Michelle and moves to another table where he sits with Tad, who tells him to leave Flick alone because she's clearly not interested.

The Scullys'
Steph can't find her grey jumper. She says she'll kill Flick if she finds it in her room. Michelle is still tap dancing and Flick takes the dog outside to be fed.

Lou's Pub
Tess tells Karl and Susan - who are looking mildly bored - that she rarely sees her husband because his lawyer hours are long. She apologises and says she shouldn't be bothering them with this, and Karl offers to have Tess and Brendan over for dinner at some point.
Tess compares Brendan to Tad (What?! I never did like Tess) and Susan says she understands there are some problems. Karl interrupts that he and Suse promised not to talk shop tonight, so they agree not to talk about work.

The Scullys'
Michelle is fawning over Paul; Flick is fawning over Billy. Joe suggests that they have a party to celebrate the new millennium, and Joe tells 'angel' that she can invite all her friends. Lyn is worried about the expense, Flick says it's not the actual millennium anyway (I hate to have to agree with her, but as Toby said on The West Wing, it's more exciting to see the calendar change from 1999 to 2000 than 2000 to 2001).
Michelle says that the Bishops are also having a party, but Joe will sort it all out. Phew. What a relief that will be to Lyn.

The Bishops'
Harold is trying to shoo T-Rex out of the garden, and Joe comes and takes him out. Paul and Tad are leaving for school, and Paul catches up with Flick who completely ignores him. Michelle doesn't, though, and Paul uses this as an opportunity to find out from him what Flick's interested in.
Tad asks Flick out to a movie and she knocks him back, saying that she isn't interested in any of the boys. Tad tells her she has too high an opinion of herself, and he's not interested in her. Just being nice.

Erinsborough High
Tad is trying to explain about the video, Grease Monkeys and not coming to school the day before. Susan isn't happy and thinks that Tad isn't very responsible - she's disappointed because he was doing so well. Tad thinks that it's Tess' fault, and Madge says she'll have to talk to Tad's mother.

The Bishops'
Plants. He's watering plants. Madge tells Harold that Coral (Tad's mum) says if he continues to misbehave he'll have to go home. They both agree that this isn't the best thing for him when:

HAROLD: Oh look, a Honeyeater!
MADGE: Where?

(They look over the fence up to the tree)

HAROLD: Up here. You'll see better. Oh! You are beautiful!
JOE: (Sitting in the garden below with Lyn) Thank you. You're not so bad yourself.
MADGE: Good heavens, what a surprise!
JOE: We're starting to get used to it. Sorry we're not naked for you.

Madge tells Lynnie that the anzac biscuits went down well at The Coffee Shop and she'll make some more. When Harold and Madge disappear, Lyn and Joe completely crack up laughing.

Erinsborough High
Paul is still trying to find out more about Flick from Michelle - who informs him that Felicity's too busy saving the world to have hobbies. Michelle asks Paul about his hobbies, and he's very vague with her; she also can't understand why all of a sudden he's being nice to her now.

Just as they get to the classroom, Tad sees a poster with "Tad hearts Susan" on it. He goes into the classroom and there are posters all over the place. He starts ripping them down in embarrassment.

Lucky there's only one classroom that he has to do this in.

Tess walks in and tells Tad to stop pulling things off the walls, and he doesn't stop. She's livid. Tad runs out with the posters.

The Coffee Shop
Madge is serving in TCS when Lyn and Joe come in with more anzac biccies. Joe, rather sarcastically, asks after the bird watching. Karl comes in and asks Joe if he's any good at cricket, as the club needs new members, but Lynnie stops the sporting talk right there.

They all discuss the millennium party - and think about having a street party, as Lou, Harold and Joe were all planning different activities anyway. Karl comments on the fact that Joe's a nice bloke, and Madge and Harold look at him in a bewildered sort of a way.

Erinsborough High
Tad is mortified over the poster incident and goes to see Tess to apologise. She is in the classroom, not really listening to Tad's apology. She's crying, and just as Tad's apologising, Susan comes in and Tess says that she's not crying over Tad.
Is it wrong that I don't care, that much?
End Credits