Episode title: 3358
Australian airdate: 28/07/99
UK airdate: 11/10/99

Writer: Jeff Truman
Director: Tony Osicka
Guests: Gordon Collins: Chris Waters
Dahl: Trained by Jason Hura
Music:

Summary/Images by: Alan/Alan

Lou turns up late at Number 26, where Phil is waiting nervously for him. They're heading off to the Eden Hills Club but Lou's wearing smart-casual clothes when he's meant to have a jacket and tie, the club's dress requirements. He heads home to quickly change. They get to the club and Phil apologises to Gordon, Lou is overwhelmed with the place but Gordon doesn't seem impressed by his brash, extravert attitude. Lou goes on about how he was mayor and tries his hardest to win Gordon over - he doesn't appear to be succeeding though and only serves to make Phil want a hole to appear that he could disappear into! Just before they head off, Phil tells Gordon that he's sorry about Lou - he's just so desperate to be a member and wants someone to nominate him. Gordon shakes his head and tells Phil that it's a very exclusive club. Later, Lou tells Harold about the Eden Hills Club and makes out that his membership is almost definite. Harold mentions it in passing to Phil afterwards who says that Lou shouldn't get his hopes up.

Amy tells Bill what Rachel and Megan said about Lance being a dag and only going out with him for a bet. Bill says he is a dag, but it's still pretty off. He says she's got to tell Lance but she says Megan will deny everything and she'll just look bad. He says the only option is for her to tell him, but she keeps asking if he will. He suggests she try it out on him - he pretends to be Lance and she tries to tell him, it doesn't go amazingly well but she gets through it. Although after all that, she still pesters Bill to tell him! Amy decides to do it and runs into Lance at the Coffee Shop. She tries to tell him but he goes on and on about how well he and Megan are getting on, he says he's so happy now. He tells her he's heading off to something called Earth Rave with Megan and will be away for a few days. Amy can't tell him, she goes to see Bill and asks him again if he'll do it. Bill says she's got to do it, Megan might dump Lance while they're away - she should tell him before he leaves. Amy goes to do it and meets Lance just as he's leaving in the ute. As soon as she mentions Megan not being what she seems, Lance gets angry at her for trying to undermine her again. He tells her to get a life and then drives off.

Madge tells Harold that Toadfish asked if they could keep Tad for another week. Madge says that Tad is a nice enough kid, but they've got so much on their plate that they haven't got time to have another teenager around. Madge asks Harold to speak to Toadfish. Later, Harold runs into Lou at the allotment, he's spraying weeds again. Harold tells him he doesn't think he should be doing it that way, it's not good for the environment - it's just laziness.

Bill talks to Amy about Anne - he tells her things aren't that great between them and she says that's what Anne said. She stops herself short though and tells him she can't tell him anymore because she'd break Anne's confidence. He goes on at her and she says that all she'll say is that it's only expected that she'd make friends at uni. Bill asks if she means Fanto. Amy says that men and women can be just friends. Bill says that's rubbish unless they're old (or, I might add, if the guy is gay!) and don't care about doing anything else. Amy rumbles his statement though by saying they're both friends and nothing more, like Anne and Fanto.

Anne is late meeting Bill at Number 28 - she says she's been studying at uni with a friend. He asks if it's Fanto. She says yes. He says that if he's in the way she should tell him. Anne says he's got nothing to worry about! Fanto's not her type and she couldn't imagine him as her boyfriend. Bill tells her they both know that's not true. She asks him what he's talking about.