Beth asking Jim to walk her down the aisle
Phoebe and Russell chatting about a misunderstanding
Jim having a heart attack
Jim, clutching his chest in pain, stumbles into the kitchen and falls to the ground, taking an innocent bowl of oranges with him. Fiona gasps and flails around him before finally starting CPR - with enough pressure that if Jim were a fairy he might recover.
Jim, sadly, growls and chokes his way to an untimely demise while Fiona repeats his name over and over, giving his chest one more light press for good measure.
Fiona races to the phone to call 000, breathing heavily like she's the one who just suffered the heart attack. But, as the voice rings out, "Emergency. Which service please?" she spies some keys on the desk and curiously hangs up. She unlocks the desk drawer, takes out a green folder, and with a horribly malicious smirk in Jim's direction, flits down the hall.
Helen listens on in the background while Julie is on the phone to Phil - he's with Debbie and Rick and they've found Michael. The only problem being that Michael doesn't want to come home.
Julie would love to throw a party right now to celebrate this but reigns in her joy. She'll always feel like there's a "sword" hanging over her and Phil because of this, but Helen doesn't blame her for feeling the way she does.
Helen changes the subject and says she hopes it's okay she's staying there for the time being. She'll find a flat or something eventually but doesn't sound excited at the concept.
JULIE: That horrible Hartman woman! Alienating you and dad, pushing you out of your own home.
HELEN: It isn't just the house, Julie. Your father's been more of a son to me than a son-in-law. We've shared so much together over the years and I value that too much to let it go.
Julie asks what she'll do and Helen replies that she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to live with Fiona. "Your father loves her, she must have some redeeming qualities." Pfft. This is the first time I've ever seen Fiona and even I can tell that statement is a joke.
While poor Jim lay dead to the world on the floor, bruised fruit his only company, Fiona is on the phone to Jeffrey (Jim's financial advisor) to talk business.
JEFFREY: Fiona, how are you?
FIONA: Very well thank you.
JEFFREY: And Jim?
FIONA: Oh, in the pink. Just frantically busy lately.
More like in the grey. Jeffrey was hoping to play a round of golf with Jim, but unless it'll work out 'Weekend At Bernie's' style, I don't think so. Anyway, Fiona's passing a message on "from Jim" about his number two portfolio (for his children), "he wants to liquidate it." Jeffrey is stunned and says he can't do it; it would be more beneficial to Jim if he held off for a few weeks or months before selling. Jeffrey wants to chat to Jim about it but Fiona says that Jim will be upset that he's questioning her in the first place. Jeffrey takes a pregnant pause before conceding he'll do it. Fiona gushes out a big sigh of relief and says she'll pick up the cheque at noon.
Number 24 - Backyard
Brad, Beth and Annalise are sunbaking while Beth tells Brad to hurry up and ask Stephen to be their best man. He makes his way inside to get ready for work and Annalise teasingly wonders if Beth's going to nag him that badly after they're married.
ANNALISE: Have you ever been with anyone other than Blondie?
BETH: Anna, what kind of question is that?
ANNALISE: (smiling) You haven't have you?
She wants to know if Beth's curious to know what it's like to be with another guy. Beth unconvincingly says no, but Annalise believes she needs someone to compare him to.
ANNALISE: All I'm saying is that if you're only going to be reading that same book for the rest of your life, you'd want to have had a hell of a browse at the library first.
Fiona, wearing a change of clothes, kneels by the artist formally known as Jim and says it was good while it lasted. She clutches her precious green folder and shuts the kitchen door on him. Fiona's just about to leave when the phone rings and she does a magnificent double take. Like a fool she answers it - It's Annalise wanting to know if she wants to grab a coffee before she has to work, but Fiona hastily replies that she's busy. She's got some money to leech out of Jim dang nabbit.
And, in the grand tradition of all TV shows, when Fiona opens the door to leave for the second time, someone is on the other side. Confusion reigns at who the visitor is until Fiona discovers it's Rosemary Daniels, Helen's daughter, paying her mum a visit. She hastily informs Rosemary that Helen is at Julie's and Jim is at a business meeting. Rosemary leaves looking a bit suss at Fiona - and so she should, could Fiona *sound* any more guilty?
Hungry Bite - Lassiter's
Stephen says he'd love to be Brad's best man when he asks him, "even though I'm second choice." Brad guiltily says that Cam had to bail. Stephen wonders if it's because Lauren dumped him but Brad reckons that he shot through because of a job.
Helen and Julie enthusiastically greet Rosemary. She tells them she just had the pleasure of meeting Fiona, and the two women inform her that she practically evicted Helen from number 26. Rosemary can't believe her ears.
JULIE: You have no idea how absolutely vile that woman is. She only wants dad for his money and nothing we say will open his eyes.
And nothing ever, ever will again. They tell Rosemary that not everything is doom and gloom around Erinsborough though, so she invites them to a family lunch to catch up on all the goss - Jim and Fiona included. Julie looks like she'd rather walk over hot coals. "Look, I'm sorry Aunt Rosemary but there's no way I want to mix socially with that home wrecker."
Phoebe & Stephen's
Phoebe and Stephen coo around little Hope when Russell arrives home (sans housekeeping money but wearing a black t-shirt and jeans that couldn't scream I AM A BADDIE! any more if they tried - And I've never seen this man before in my life). Russell gives Phoebe a present for Hope - some cute clothes. Stephen doesn't look too pleased. Evil Russell swaps glares with Stephen and exits the room.
Stephen wants to know how Russell can afford to buy baby clothes but can't seem to pay the rent. "I don't want her wearing it," he snits. Phoebe's wondering when he got his knickers twisted into that gigantic knot they're in right now.
Annalise arrives for work and Brad tells Beth (who followed Annalise in) that Stephen agreed to be their best man. The topic soon turns to the wedding night and what winky nudgy events might go on. Beth jokes that all Annalise can think about is sex but Annalise counteracts that she's not a perv just because she asked how many people she slept with. She also wants "Blondie" to admit that Beth's not his first lady. Beth thinks that the past should stay in the past but Annalise believes they'll be sorry.
Fiona wants to know how long it will be before she can draw against the cheque but the teller informs her it will be five working days, much to her chagrin. She clings on to her green folder and whirls around, thanking him for nothing. Yes, I'm sure he was going to bend the rules just for you. Would you like the combination for the safe while you're there too?
Mid-whirl, Fiona bumps into Julie who conveniently had to go to the bank as well. Julie crankily snarls that Fiona must be helping herself to more of her dad's money (well, all of it actually), but Fiona replies that it was Jim's idea to invest in her business. Julie tells her about Rosemary's lunch idea but informs her to steer clear.
JULIE: You may be my father's 'fancy woman' but you'll never be a part of the family.
FIONA: Well that's your loss isn't it?
Phoebe and Stephen's
A saleswoman knocks at the door and Russell answers. She asks if his wife is at home but he responds that Phoebe's out at the moment. Hmm... interesting... and freaky. Russell says for her to come back later and the saleswoman is delighted that he wants to spend money, most husbands wouldn't. "I want my Phoebe to look pretty," he replies creepily.
Brad wants to know why Annalise was giving Beth a hard time about sex before, but Annalise just thinks that Beth has no idea what she's missing out on by not playing the field a little. Brad wants her to stop putting ideas into Beth's head, and besides, she wouldn't be interested anyway. Annalise eye rolls then a light bulb goes off over her head.
Rosemary is about to give up knocking on the door when Fiona gets back. She invites Rosemary in to wait for Jim, apologizing for being abrupt before, she had an important errand to run. Rosemary offers to put the kettle on while Fiona puts her things away. Ooh, the suspense is palpable.
Guess she found 'ol Jim there. Rosemary yells for Fiona, who takes a dramatic deep breath and gets ready to act surprised. They both flit and twitter around Jim in a panic before Rosemary runs out and Fiona does some fake crying.
Beth answers the door to Annalise who is wearing some hideous looking trousers (Annalise? My Nan just called from the 1970s, she wants her curtains back). They resolve not to talk about sex, moving the conversation on to Lou and Lauren - he's taking her out to dinner to take her mind off Cameron (although she's the one that dumped him she's still sad about it apparently). Annalise mentions that Brad's working that night so she could keep Beth company if she wants. Beth thinks that's a peachy keen idea.
ANNALISE: I'll come around 7:30/8:30, and I'll bring a surprise.
Hands up who thinks it'll be a bloke? Yeah, me too.
Phoebe and Stephen's
Stephen, carrying Hope into the lounge room, says he didn't want the baby to wear that new outfit but Phoebe says Russell must have put it on her while she was down the shops. Stephen thinks Russell's a liar and he gives him the creeps.
PHOEBE: Stephen, do you have to make everything Russell does sound so sinister?
They answer a knock at the door; it's the saleswoman. Oh dear. She says that she missed Phoebe earlier but her husband said it would be all right to call back now. Stephen's all, 'WHO did? Uh, I'm Phoebe's husband...' The saleswoman says she must have got the wrong end of the stick and leaves in confusion. Stephen practically shuts Phoebe in the door in all his anger. Russell's in deep do do...
Julie is all huffy about her run in with Fiona. Helen says that Jim sees something in her though so they'll just have to grin and bear it. Yeah, he sees a vessel to which he can latch on to should he ever want to haunt anyone.
Rosemary walks through the door in shock.
ROSEMARY: Mummy, Julie... I've got some really bad news.
JULIE: What's the matter?
ROSEMARY: It's Jim, he's passed away. (Said in such a non-emotive tone it's like, 'It's Jim, he's just burnt a chocolate cake').
(Julie and Helen are stunned)
ROSEMARY: I've phoned Doctor Dawson and he's having Jim taken to the hospital. I mean there are formalities you know, there has to be a certificate... things like that.
JULIE: It's not true.
ROSEMARY: I'm sorry Julie.
JULIE: (angrily) It's just not true!
She races out the door.
Fiona stands silently in the kitchen as Julie bursts inside. She falls to the ground where her dad is while Rosemary leads Helen in, explaining it was a massive heart attack. Fiona turns on the waterworks once more as Julie turns and lets loose, yelling at her that it's her fault and to get out. They then both start to scream at one another, laying the blame wherever they can while Rosemary tries to break them up. Helen manages to do so eventually by fainting right into a sitting position on a kitchen chair.