Jim tells Helen about the matchmaking - he's very embarrassed about it. Helen wonders if Pam might have been in cahoots with Jill, but Jim says he doesn't think so. Helen says she might have a chat to Pam, but Jim tells her to stay out of it.
Outside the Coffee Shop
Rick tells Debbie and Toby that he and Michael Jackson will be like soul brothers when he wins the competition(!)
DEBBIE: Sure, I can see that. I mean, he's a shy multi- millionaire, black American popstar, living in incredible luxury in the States. And you're an Italian- Irish- Australian schoolkid living on pocket- money in Erinsborough. I mean, you're practically twins!
Rick thinks he's going to win as he's sent in over 50 entry forms! Toby and Debbie are fed up about him going on about it. When Rick has gone to get a drink, Toby tells Debbie that he's come up with a radical idea!
A smartly- dressed attractive woman is visiting the car yard. She flirts with him and tells him how cute he is. Lou tries to talk about a car, but she keeps talking suggestively to him. She asks to go on a test drive.
Stephen rings up. Phoebe tells Dorothy to say she's not there, or otherwise get rid of him. Dorothy invites him round for afternoon tea(!) Phoebe looks horrified!
Jill creeps in. She listens at Pam's bedroom door to hear if her plan worked and Pam and Jim are getting it on(!) Pam comes in from the garden and tells Jill off for luring Jim to lunch. Jill says it was only a bit of fun.
PAM: I was blushing to my boots, I was mortified!
Jill is disappointed that Pam and Jim didn't have lunch as she wanted Pam to have a nice time.
JILL: You know what they say...if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
PAM:(crossly) I just don't know what's got in to you, Jill, you used to be so...
JILL: I don't want to hear about what I *used* to be. Fat lot of good that did me!
PAM: Look...Jill...I know it must have been a dreadful time for you when you lost...
JILL: It's obvious that you and Jim are attracted to each other.
PAM: He's a good friend, that's all.
JILL: Pam, I'm not blind. Where's the harm? Anyway, why should men have all the fun? They don't think twice about having a bit on the side. So, now the shoe's on the other foot for a change!
PAM: That may be true of some men, but Doug's not like that. And I'd be betraying him... Anyway, look, I don't want to talk about this right now.
Jill pops out for a minute.
Toby is telling Cameron about his idea - he'll record the jingle from the radio station and mock up a competition announcement stating that someone else has won, so Rick will go crazy. He wants Cameron to do the voice of the announcer as his voice is deep. Cameron tells Toby he's very busy, but Toby begs him, saying it'll only take ten minutes. Cameron agrees.
Dorothy invites Stephen in and makes him a cup of tea. Phoebe has apparently gone to get changed. Stephen asks how Phoebe is, saying he's surprised she wanted to see him. Dorothy says that Stephen is really helping Phoebe, she just doesn't realised it yet.
Phoebe comes out dressed as a vampire(!) and invites Stephen to meet her snake, Oscar.
Cameron, Toby and Debbie creep into the school to use the radio station recording equipment. Debbie keeps watch in the corridor and Rick comes in to get a book from his locker(!) He sees Toby and Cameron and asks what they're doing. Toby says Cameron is giving legal tips on the radio to criminal students(!) Rick doesn't suspect and heads off.
Stephen is a bit apprehensive of Oscar the snake while Phoebe tells him how snakes eat their prey. Dorothy assures him that the snake is harmless and tells Phoebe to put him away.
PHOEBE: But Mim, he's been shut up all day, he's not doing anything, he's behaving himself.
DOROTHY: *He* is, yes(!)
Phoebe is generally very rude to Stephen.
Lou and the attractive woman are back from the test drive. She asks Lou to take her to lunch and he says they could go to a small restaurant down the road. She says they could go back to her place afterwards for dessert.
LOU: Rhonda...I'm very flattered, love, but I think I should tell you...I'm about to be a happily married man.
RHONDA: Oh...oh, well, no matter, that doesn't mean we can't have lunch, does it?
LOU: No, no, no, er...look, we'll have a bite to eat, and then we'll come back here and you can decide which of these magnificent cars will be yours!
Jill has come to see Jim.
JILL: I did what I did out of concern for her happiness. I wasn't trying to make trouble.
JIM: I'm sorry, I don't follow.
JILL: Surely you must know how desperately unhappy she is? She and Doug. Let's just say, I think she deserves something better.
JIM:(surprised) Their marriage is rock solid.
JILL: Well, there are rocks and there are rocks. I'm not one to spread gossip but situations change. Why do you think Doug left in such a hurry for Queensland?
JIM: For a job!
JILL: Don't you think there are enough builders in Queensland? No, I'm afraid for all intents and purposes, Doug's moved out. They're living apart.
Jim takes this in.
JIM: I had no idea.
JILL: No, well, who knows what goes on behind closed doors. Pam wouldn't say anything of course, it's way too soon.
Just then, Helen comes in from the shops. She greets Jill and invites her to stay for a cup of tea. But Jill quickly heads off.
JILL:(to Jim) So you see, I wasn't just making mischief.
Toby has got the cassette tape cued up and tells Rick that the competition result is on. He, Rick and Debbie sit down to listen. It's so obviously Cameron, but Rick doesn't notice. Cameron announces the winner as 'Toby Mangel from Ramsay Street, Erinsborough'. Rick is downcast while Toby celebrates. He goes to turn the radio off and realises he's been had(!) Debbie and Toby fall about laughing.
Dorothy suggests that she and Stephen go to the movies. She says she doesn't feel like doing anything other than feed Oscar a mouse. Stephen says he'll go, but he'll call back in an hour in case Phoebe changes her mind. Dorothy shows him out.
DOROTHY: I hope you're pleased with yourself, miss!
PHOEBE: Yup! Bet that's the last we see of him. Back in an hour? Fat chance.
DOROTHY: I'm very disappointed in you, Phoebe. It's bad enough that you look like some refugee from the Addams Family, but there is no excuse for rudeness.
PHOEBE: I didn't want him to come here in the first place.
DOROTHY: You don't fool me for a minute.
DOROTHY: You like Stephen quite a bit. And you're afraid to admit it. This whole elaborate performance is your perverse way of denying that.
PHOEBE: Like him? You've got to be kidding, I'm not denying anything. I never want to see him again, ever.
Lou comes in and Madge tells him Jim has gone on a hot date with Jill Weir. Madge is in a bit of a mood. Lou tells her about the woman who came in - looked at every car in the yard and went to lunch with him, but didn't buy anything. Madge asks what the woman was like and Lou says she was an old dear!
Jill tells Pam that Jim was very understanding.
JILL: It's obvious that he cares about you - a lot.
PAM: Oh, he was just being polite.
JILL: That's not the impression I got.
She goes to get into her redecorating clothes.
JILL: You are...attracted to Jim, aren't you?
JILL: I'm on your side!
PAM: I do have...feelings for the man, but there's absolutely no future in it. None.
JILL: I understand.
The escort tells Madge that she just needs one more go and Lou will be hers. Madge agrees and pays her.
Dorothy tells Phoebe to go and get changed before Stephen comes back. Phoebe doesn't think he will.
There's a knock at the door, and it's Stephen, also dressed as a vampire and holding a snake - he's called Fang! Dorothy comes out and recoils at the sight! He says Fang can keep Oscar company while they're at the movies.
Someone rings Rick and says he's won first prize in the Michael Jackson competition, but he thinks it's a hoax.
Outside the Coffee Shop
Cameron, Toby and Debbie are laughing about the prank on Rick. Rick comes over to them and tells them about the hoax phonecall. They insist they haven't made a phonecall and Rick slowly realises he's won the competition. Only trouble is - he told the radio station to "stick their prize"