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Neighbours Episode 1599 from 1992 - NeighboursEpisodes.com
<<1598 - 1600>>
Episode title: 1599
Australian airdate: 23/01/92
UK airdate: 30/12/92
UK Gold: 17/12/98
Writer: Jeff Truman
Director: Michael Sergi
Summary/Images by: Graham
Faye telling Doug that they have to hurry to her wedding: she doesn't want Nev to think he's been left at the altar. Doug looking worried.
No. 28
Doug tells Faye warily that there's been a bit of a hitch.
DOUG: Nev wasn't at his place when I got there.
Faye glares at him and insists that that's ridiculous. Doug tells her that he tracked Nev down to the Waterhole. He goes on:
DOUG: There's no easy way of telling you this. The wedding's off.
Faye looks round at Pam, disbelievingly. She then turns back to Doug, a smile crosses her face and she laughs:
FAYE: All right - you've had your fun! I know what you're like: always the practical joker. Now let's get moving or we'll be late.
DOUG: Sis, this is no joke. There isn't going to be any wedding.
Faye's face drops. She mouths that Doug is serious...
DOUG: I'm afraid so.
FAYE (looking upset): But I don't understand. Why?
DOUG: It's just one of those things.
FAYE: I'm supposed to be getting married. There's a church... a Minister... a reception organised; not to mention the rest of my life. Don't tell me that this is just 'one of those things'.
Doug sighs that Nev thinks he and Faye aren't suited to each other. Faye snaps that Nev wouldn't know what's good for if it bit him on the nose. Pam points out to Doug that Faye is right about the church full of people waiting. Doug tells her that Nev is going there to make an announcement. Faye says quickly that she'll go and talk to him.
DOUG: He'll be gone, Faye. He was going bush straight after he broke the news.
Faye stands there, looking heartbroken. She then starts heading to her room.
DOUG: Where you going?
FAYE (faux cheerily): No point staying in this all day, is there? [She indicates her wedding dress.] I'll get changed.
Doug looks at Pam nervously.
Coffee Shop
Madge is sitting at a table when Helen comes in and tells her that the wedding was cancelled. Dorothy and Brenda join them as Helen adds that Neville arrived, apologised to everyone and then left. Madge gasps that that's terrible. Dorothy comments that no one deserves that. She then remarks that Helen is all dressed up with nowhere to go. Madge suggests that the four of them have a games night: she has that general knowledge game - 'Pick Your Brain'.
DOROTHY (pointedly): I hardly think it would be a fair contest, do you?
MADGE (rolling her eyes): Here we go! Why do you say that, Dot?
DOROTHY: I'm a schoolteacher; I've travelled the world. General knowledge entails more than knowing in which aisle you find the clingwrap!
MADGE: You are a pseudo-intellectual snob!
Brenda, however, suggests that they play in teams: her and Madge against Dorothy and Helen. Helen sighs:
HELEN: Let's keep it a friendly game, shall we?
BRENDA: Oh, it'll be friendly - won't it, *Dot*?
DOROTHY: Oh, absolutely, *Bren*.
With that, Dorothy heads off. Changing the subject, Madge asks Helen if she can do her a favour this afternoon: she's finished packing Harold's clothes, and Lou's going to sell the car for her: he's put the wheels back on and somebody was going to pick it up later this week - but she thought that if Helen wouldn't mind driving, they could put the clothes in the bin and then drop the car off. She adds sadly that she doesn't want to have the clothes hanging around the house in boxes. Helen assures her that she doesn't mind - and Todd might help, if he has nothing else do to.
Lassiter's Boutique
Caroline is holding a dress up against herself when Paul storms in and snaps that he's been looking everywhere for her. Caroline retorts that she's holding the fort for Gaby. Paul tells her to come back to the office. Caroline, however, snaps back that she's on lunch and she'll be there in twenty minutes.
PAUL (angrily): Listen, I've just taken three legal opinions, all of which reckon I haven't got a prayer if Glen sues. Once the court hears Todd's version, they're going to wipe the floor with me.
He suddenly appears to have a thought, and he murmurs sneakily:
PAUL: Unless Glen was mucking around up there... not paying attention...
CAROLINE: Todd has already told his story.
PAUL: Memory is a tricky thing. Maybe Todd's not as good as he thought? Maybe he forgot some slight detail; just something he didn't think was important - know what I mean? See, if Glen was found to be negligent, it would take the heat off *me*.
Caroline gives him a dark look.
Car yard
Helen's car pulls up outside the yard and she, Madge and Todd climb out. There's a yellow convertible parked in the yard, and Todd looks at it in delight, exclaiming that that's what he calls a car! Helen points out that he doesn't even have his licence yet. Todd beams that he will soon! He runs over to the car, climbs inside it and sits in the driver's seat.
No. 28
Doug emerges from Faye's bedroom, but sighs at Pam that there's nothing he can say to his sister to comfort her. He adds that he hasn't seen her like this since Ralph was run over by a bus. Pam looks at him quizzically. Doug explains that it was a dog they had when they were kids; she was distraught.
PAM: What - and she acted like this?
DOUG: Yep - cleaned for weeks.
At that moment, Faye emerges from the bedrooms, a scarf on her head and rubber gloves on her hands. She tells Doug and Pam that Gaby's room could do with a good scrub. She heads over to the sink and pours some washing-up liquid into it.
FAYE (enthusiastically): Nothing takes you out of yourself like a good, vigorous clean! Washing up, dusting, vacuuming... there's a lot to be said for them.
Pam, however, says to her tersely that that's enough.
PAM: We know you're upset about what happened...
FAYE (cheerily): Oh, I'll live.
PAM: Look - what Nev did was lousy. It's natural for you to feel upset. Everyone understands. We just want you to know that we're here for you. We're your family - and you don't have to hold everything inside.
Tears begin to well-up in Faye's eyes. She then breaks down and sobs:
FAYE: Today was supposed to be my wedding day...
No. 30
It's evening, and Helen is asking Brenda and Madge a question that will allow them to win the quiz game.
HELEN: What is the unit of currency of Papua New Guinea?
DOROTHY (snaps at Madge and Brenda): Too easy. You've had the easy questions all game.
Madge looks at Brenda and asks if she has any idea. Brenda puts her hand to her head and then declares:
BRENDA: The kina.
HELEN: That's correct!
Brenda and Madge burst into chanting 'We Are the Champions'! Dorothy, however, snaps that it's a thoroughly ridiculous game.
BRENDA: Admit it, Dot: Madge and me are just brainier.
DOROTHY (curtly): It's Madge and *I* - and don't be absurd: call this general knowledge? Who cares about Elvis Presley's birthday or Princess Di's shoe size?
BRENDA: You just read the wrong magazines!
DOROTHY: Yes, well, I can imagine the sort of drivel *you* read!
Helen sighs at Dorothy that Brenda and Madge won fair and square. Madge tells Dorothy that she should just say the word when she wants a rematch! Dorothy, however, retorts that no one could call this an intellectual challenge: if they really want to see who's the most intelligent, they should do an IQ test. Turning to Brenda, she adds:
DOROTHY: I'm sure someone with the super abundance of fascinating trivia that you've got locked away wouldn't be intimidated by that.
MADGE: Of course she wouldn't. Brenda will do any test you set her and she'll win hands down.
DOROTHY: Good. I've got one here that we can use.
Brenda, looking worried, protests that Dorothy probably knows all the answers. Dorothy, however, insists that she hasn't looked at the test; it only arrived the other day. She goes to fetch it. When she's left the room, Brenda sighs:
BRENDA: This is going to be really embarrassing...
No. 26
Paul is sitting with Todd, saying:
PAUL: You know Glen's going to sue me because of the accident?
Todd replies that Glen didn't say, but he guesses it's pretty standard procedure. Paul goes on that Todd was the only witness, and his testimony is therefore absolutely critical in establishing what happened that day. He adds that they should go over it again, just in case he missed a slight detail.
PAUL: You were up on the roof and you were fixing the Christmas banner, right?
TODD: Yeah. It had slipped down on one side and we couldn't reach it from the top. Glen went down the sloping roof, to get a hold of it, and the wind must have got him or he slipped. Anyway, I got a hold of him, but I couldn't pull him up.
PAUL: All right. Now, when it *did* happen, you told Glen to be careful; you warned him?
TODD: I don't know...
PAUL: That's what you told the paramedic straight after it happened.
TODD: I'm not sure. I was pretty upset.
PAUL: You wouldn't have said it if you didn't. Come on... it's pretty straightforward: you either did or you didn't.
He then tells Todd that this is very important: if Glen knew he was taking a risk, it would put a whole new complexion on things. Todd sighs that he'd like to help, but it all happened so fast.
No. 30
Dorothy hands Brenda a copy of the IQ test, saying as she does so that it's not too late to back out: nobody likes to be made to feel a fool. She asks Helen to be the timekeeper; Helen, however, says she's all quizzed-out for the night - and she wants to go over to the Willises' to see how Faye is coping. She goes with Dorothy to the front door. Left alone with Madge, Brenda snaps:
BRENDA: Thanks a lot for getting me into this.
MADGE: What are you worried about? You'll be fine.
BRENDA: Sure - and pigs might fly. Madge, I don't stand a hope in hell.
Dorothy comes back in. She tells Madge that *she'll* have to keep an eye on the clock. Madge picks up a stopwatch.
No. 28
There are loud sobs coming from the bedrooms. Doug looks at Pam and asks how a person can cry for that long. There's a ring on the doorbell and Pam lets Helen in. Helen explains that she was wondering how Faye was bearing up. She then hears the loud sobbing. Doug calls to Faye that Helen is here to see her. Helen says quickly that perhaps she should go. Doug, however, stops her. Faye emerges from her room and Pam tells her that Helen has come to see how she is. Still sobbing, Faye cries:
FAYE: I was going to be a beautiful bride...
HELEN (gently): Of course you were.
FAYE: I did so much for him: took him on holiday... showered him with affection...; and I gave him the best years of my life.
DOUG (bemused): You only knew him a few weeks!
Faye then tells everyone that she should erase it all from her mind. She asks if she can borrow Pam's scissors. With a grimace, she snarls:
FAYE: I want to cut that wedding dress to *shreds*!
No. 30
Madge calls time on the IQ test. Dorothy and Brenda put down their pens and Dorothy says she'll mark the papers now. Brenda, however, retorts that she's not letting Dorothy mark *hers*. Madge says she'll mark them both.
DOROTHY (indignantly): You'll have me ending up with the IQ of a sheep!
MADGE: If the fleece fits, Dorothy...!
Madge says they'll have to wait until Helen can do it. Dorothy shrugs that that's fine. She goes to make tea, leaving Madge to apologise to Brenda for pushing her into the test. Brenda, however, looks quite pleased with herself.
No. 30
The next morning, Helen is sitting on the couch with Dorothy.
DOROTHY: So Brenda and Madge dropped the IQ tests off last night?
DOROTHY: Have you had a chance to mark them yet?
HELEN: Yes, I have.
DOROTHY (gleefully): Ooh, I can't wait. I know I thrashed her, but by how much? Will she be totally and absolutely devastated? Oh, I don't mean to sound cruel, but after that ridiculous 'Pick Your Brain' game, I somehow feel the need for vengeance.
Helen, looking slightly awkward, tells her that the results are quite a surprise.
DOROTHY: Didn't she get *any* right? It wouldn't surprise me. I can't wait to see the look on Madge Bishop's face.
HELEN (warily): Oh, I don't think you should be in too much of a hurry to do that. You see, Brenda came out on top.
Dorothy stares at her in astonishment and says Helen must have got the papers mixed up. Helen insists there's no mistake.
DOROTHY: She must have cheated.
HELEN: You were there. Is there any way she could have?
DOROTHY (looking put-out): No - but... this is astounding...
No. 28
Doug and Pam are having breakfast. Faye joins them and announces that she's well and truly over yesterday's unpleasantness. Looking at Pam, she adds:
FAYE: Thank you for not giving me those scissors last night. That would have been a senseless waste.
DOUG: Yeah, well, you didn't look as though you were thinking too straight.
FAYE: I'll return the dress to the shop. Hopefully I'll get a refund and salvage at least *some* of the money I've squandered. That *worm*. Didn't even have the courage to tell me to my face. Well, I wouldn't even cross the road to spit on him if he was on fire. Good riddance, that's all I can say.
Pam smiles that it's good to see Faye back to her old self. Faye replies that she appreciates both her and Doug's support. She adds that being around family again has meant a lot to her - and she's come to a decision:
FAYE: I feel at home here, and I've decided to stay.
PAM (looking shocked): In Erinsborough?
FAYE: No, here in Ramsay Street, with you.
Doug and Pam give each other a look!
No. 22
Helen walks in through the front door and takes baby Andrew from Paul. She then tells Paul that she's been checking on the workmen at the old Mangel house and they're papering for her. Looking disinterested, Paul just asks if Todd is at home. Helen explains that he's out hunting for a part-time job. Paul asks if he's saving up for something. Helen smiles that he'll be saving 'til the cows come home: he saw a flashy convertible at the car yard where Lou Carpenter's working; he couldn't possibly afford that one, but she thinks a car is what he has in mind. A thoughtful expression on his face, Paul mouths:
PAUL: Really...?
Driveway of No. 26
Todd is working in the front garden when Paul pulls up in the driveway in the flashy convertible. Todd runs over and exclaims that it's beautiful! As Paul climbs out, he adds:
TODD: Hang on - this is the one that *I* was saving up for.
PAUL: So I heard - gran was talking to me about it.
He tells Todd to jump in. Todd, looking excited, leaps into the driver's seat.
TODD: Oh, wow!
PAUL: Yeah, well, look, you've had a bit of bad luck lately, haven't you, what with Glen's accident and the trouble with your dad. I got to thinking: we're family, aren't we; we should stick together; help each other out. The important thing to know is that we can rely on each other. Look, to cut a long story short, I figured you deserved a break. Dad normally buys the Robinson kids their first car, but as he's away, I figured I'd step into his shoes and... it's yours.
TODD (looking astonished): Excuse me?
PAUL: The car: it's yours.
Todd sits there, dumbstruck!
<<1598 - 1600>>
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