Katya and Ned looking at the ad for new housemates Ned made
Paul tells Lyn about getting plane tickets for New York
Katya trying to seduce Ned
Katya's still in full seduction mode and tells Ned he should do whatever she tells him to, unless he's got some ‘dirty little ideas' of his own of course. EmotionlessNed™ shows no emotion as usual so it's hard to know if he does or not, but he says that he's not used to this much confidence so I guess we're to assume that he's shocked, or something… Katya suggests he likes his girls to be sweet, demure and well-behaved then and Ned says he doesn't always prefer well-behaved. They agree that then there wouldn't be anything to confess and now I'm nauseous from all these church/nun related expressions and words alluding to Carmella's time as a nun. It's not even funny. At all.
The Robinhoyscullys™ are just finishing off dinner and they talk about Paul and Lyn's upcoming flight to New York. Steph reckons Lyn should bring lots of magazines since it's going to be a long flight over to NY, but Paul points out how in First Class they have both mags, movies, music and lots of other stuff so it's not like they're going to get bored. All Lyn will have to worry about is what kind of champagne she's going to drink! But what about the dehydration, Lynnie knows about all of that and alcohol is no good then. Paul tells her she can have a bottle of water for each glass of champagne to stay hydrated, the imported water even! Ooh, such extravagances! Lyn says she doesn't want anyone to make a fuss and gets up from the table while Paul tells her first class is all about fuss. Aw, happy banter, I love it! At least there's no bad jokes about ‘joining a certain club while on the plane' like we got from Susan and Alex before the plane crash last year. Thank God.
Steph and Elle have volunteered to take care of the dishes and Steph tells Elle that she thinks she'd get along really well with Flick and Shell.
STEPH: I reckon they'd prefer to take you to all their trendy shops too instead of Paul and… Mum's more your bargain basement tart.
Um, what about those really expensive clothes she bought Ozzie and herself then after she got a pay rise? Maybe that's forgotten about already then. Hmm. Continuity these days isn't what it used to be.
Elle seems a bit uncomfortable and says she's not going to NY since she's got stuff to do at home such as work.
Outside no. 22 the next morning
Paul and Lyn are getting ready for the taxi waiting to take them to the airport. Paul tells Elle that the number to the travel agent is on the fridge so if she changes her mind about coming along she can just call that number.
ELLE: You and Lyn should have some time alone and enjoy yourselves. ( )
PAUL: Yeah, we would enjoy ourselves more if we were eating bagels in Central Park with you.
Oh, really? Hmm. Elle tells him to stop with the clichés and just go. Paul says he knows he's leaving Lassiters in very capable hands and thus it seems Lyn's forgotten to tell him what happened last time she went away and left her son in charge of the family business. Those two clearly need to spend more time together then to improve their communication… (whistles innocently) Ahem.
Paul and Elle hug and he tells her to watch that ‘Grandma Timmins' since she might cause some trouble. Boyd helps Lyn carry her suitcase to the taxi and notes how there doesn't seem to be a lot of room left for pressies in there. She tells him she's got his shoe size and knows exactly which sneakers he wants so it should still be fine. Lyn tells Steph to ring her in case something happens and she'll be on the first plane home. Steph tells her to send love to her sisters and they hug. Lyn says she feels awful leaving her daughter now with everything going on, but Steph says it's fine. Once they return from NY everything will be back to normal. Um, Steph, you do realise you're a Hoyland now and things are never fine and never will be fine either by default? Your house is AngstCentral™!
The Robinscullys™ get into the taxi and Ozzie says his goodbyes too. Aww, what a cutie he is. Everyone is so happy and I just hope this isn't a bad sign because last time a happy family like this went off on a flight they all died! (keeps fingers crossed for a safe journey)
Katya (with massive bedhair to boot!) and Ned reappears from the bedroom and they make sure no one's around to see Ned leave.
KATYA: Sorry for all this sneaking around but there are some things your brother and sister don't need to know.
Yeah, and there are some things we don't want to watch like this so-called love triangle between you two and Carmella.
Ned reminds Katya about the interviews later in the day for new housemates for no. 30. Apparently there was a great influx of calls at the last minute so they have 15 people interested in moving in. Helping each other out with ‘boring jobs' is something boyfriends and girlfriends do, don't they?
KATYA: No job with you is ever boring.
ALL VIEWERS: Is she mad? Everything Ned does is boring us to tears.
*Please* tell me she's joking. Wait, she's not, they start sucking face again and Ned lifts her up and carries her to the bedroom again. Urgh.
Steph, Boyd and Janae are talking to one of the nurses about Max coming home and it seems there's some kind of problem. Oh look, it's that evil nurse Sheena that Toadie dated once and who was in the same class as Sindi in high school! Between her and the incompetent Dr Young it's no wonder Maxie's not coping well!
Anyway, Sheena tells the Hoylands that they'll have to ask Dr Young about the specifics of Max's condition, but Steph says she wants a second opinion. So that's why she's asking a nurse with little or no training in psychiatry then. That makes perfect sense. Steph says Max shouldn't be in hospital, he should be at home with his family and refuses to leave until someone explains to her what's going on. Sheena says she'll arrange for someone to come and talk to them.
BOYD: You're treating him like a prisoner!
SHEENA: For his own safety!
BOYD: How's he going to hurt anyone? He's doped up to his eyeballs!
Janae tells him to calm down since the docs and nurses know what they're doing.
BOYD: No, they don't have a clue what they're doing!
Exactly my sentiment about the way the writers are handling all stories concerning mental illness! Go Boyd!
Sheena tells them she's sorry, but Max can't be discharged today. Janae tries to stay positive by suggesting that once the docs have done a re-assessment of Max they'll realise their mistake, but Boyd and Steph aren't so sure.
Ned and Katya are busy doing their interviews of potential new housemates. Ned likes the girl they just saw, but Katya reckons she's a ‘high maintenance nightmare'. She's got twice as many cons as pros on the checklist too!
NED: Being vegetarian is not a con.
KATYA: It's code for eating disorder, trust me. Dani's out!
More insults to mental health issues, wow, they're really letting lose on the tonight which is funny considering this week is Mental Health Awareness week and all!
Outside the door to no 30
A man and a woman in their 20s appear at the door. The man tells the woman to spit out her gum since that would make a bad impression and she tells him that he could have told her he was a control freak before they made their deal. The man tells her they're both getting as much out of what they're doing. Hmm, seems they have some kind of secret deal going on. What's the betting it's as explosive as Kim's ‘my family didn't like my choice of girlfriend' secret?
They knock on the door…
…and Ned opens it for them. The couple present themselves as Frazer and Pepper and Ned invites them in, a bit confused since his notes say Frazer and Heidi. It turns out Pepper's her nickname. They enter the lounge and say hi to Katya.
PEPPER: (looking at the living room walls) Cool, purple. I love purple. I see myself being right at home here.
FRAZER: If we're invited to stay.
PEPPER: Who wouldn't want us around, sweetie. We make perfect housemates.
FRAZER: (jokingly) I think she forgot to take her medication today.
Heh. More mental illness jokes that aren't funny.
KATYA: So, you two are a couple obviously?
FRAZER: Engaged, actually.
Apparently Frazer and Pepper met at some bookstore in the city. He was in the Biographies section and she in Self-Help and they realised they had both ordered the same book. This made them instantly connect and they've been together ever since. Pepper find a stack of CDs on the sofa table and says you can tell a lot about people from their sock drawers, not that she'd ever look though, of course. Frazer's a financial advisor and Pepper's a teacher and she'll be starting next week. Ned picks up on this and just has to mention that he loves kids and also knows someone who looks after sick kids at the hospital (Carmella). Remind me why he's together with Katya again?
Max's hospital room
Boyd and Janae have come over for a visit and Max seems pretty out of it. They exchange some polite phrases about how things are going and Max has forgotten Janae's name due to the effects of his medication so apologises.
BOYD: Don't be sorry, we haven't had to put up with your cooking for one thing!
Hang on, I thought that Steph was the bad cook in the Hoyland household! When did that change? Things are a bit awkward so Boyd excuses himself to go grab something from a vending machine leaving Janae and Max alone.
MAX: You shouldn't have to go through this.
JANAE: We're not going through anything. We're here to support you.
MAX: If only I knew why I feel this way, that I knew how to fix things. I know I could but… I can't, I just can't.
JANAE: Oh God…
JANAE: You're really struggling, aren't you? You know what you need? A big holiday! You should lie on a beach in Queensland for a while. I mean, they're all nutty up there!
Max starts laughing.
JANAE: Did I say something wrong?
MAX: (shakes his head and keeps laughing)
Katya and Ned have moved on to the next interviewee, Will, who's talking about trips he made to India and Tibet. Katya's particularly interested in this since her Mum was from Tibet. Will asks Ned where he's from and Ned says Oakey, QLD but Will doesn't know where it is. Ned wants to know if Will's planning on sticking around (yes, he is) and what about work (he just does whatever's going). It turns out that this is his first sharehouse so he's got no previous references. Hmm, not exactly what Neddy wanted to hear. Katya's interested to know about Will's family but he just says they're the average family and that's all. I sense that ‘a dog lies buried here' like we say in Swedish (ie. he's hiding something). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what it is.
Ned's had enough and says the interview is finished so Will leaves. Katya thinks he's great, but Ned's not convinced, can this Will guy even afford to pay the rent? Um, excuse me, Neddy, but how much money did you have when you arrived? Not a lot, iirc, so don't go judging others. Katya reckons Ned's just jealous of Will.
Will's now found his way to the bar where Janae's serving drinks. He comments on her age and she says she's just filling in for her husband who's having a bit of a family crisis. Will says he was hoping that Janae could put in a good word for him and hands over his resume. Frazer appears and orders drinks for himself and Pepper. Will sits down at a table next to Frazer and Pepper and Frazer says he thinks Will is a bit dodgy so Pepper had better keep an eye on her handbag.
Katya and Ned are still debating which housemates to choose. They grab their phones to call the housemates they each want.
Scarlet Bar/No 30
Frazer's mobile goes off and who'da thunk it- it's Ned! The room is theirs if they still want it and they accept the offer.
Will's on his mobile talking to Katya who tells him he can move in as soon as he likes.
Pepper's taking a big box full of stuff out of a car and carries it up to the house. Frazer's taking his stuff out of his car too and Pepper comments on the amount of clothes that he's got.
PEPPER: For a guy who's broke you sure have a lot of clothes.
FRAZER: I'm not broke, I have a temporary cash flow problem and I'll pay back that rent as soon as I can.
As they get ready to walk up the driveway to no. 30 Will appears, carrying a big backpack similar to that the backpackers that arrive in Oz in droves each year. Pepper works out that he must be the other housemate. Just then a young woman looking an awful lot like Jess from All Saints shows up and walks up to no. 30 as well. She's talking to herself to install some courage and trips on her way up the pathway to the house, but manages to sort things out.
As Will is saying hello to Bob Ned comments on his lack of stuff. Apparently the stuff in his backpack is all he's got since he's so used to travelling. Well at least the house won't be invaded by soft toys like when Carmella moved in the other year then- yay! There seems to be a bit of a problem with the unknown woman who nearly fell over before- Toadie's boss had promised her Toadie's room while he's in Sydney but now someone else has already been offered it. Ned tells her she's going to have to find somewhere else to stay but Frazer says they can't just throw her out on the street.
FRAZER: (looking at Will) I'm sure Jack Kerouac here won't mind finding another place.
WILL: What, me?
FRAZER: You're not unpacked yet.
PEPPER: Neither are we, so feel free to give me a hand whenever you're ready.
The woman at the door says it's okay, she'll find somewhere else, when Frazer points out that there is another room in the house.
FRAZER: Chuck backpack boy in there and we can all stay!
NED: It's only really a glorified cupboard.
FRAZER: It's not like he's got much stuff!
The roomless woman gives Ned her card and asks them to let her know if something comes up. She's just about to leave when Ned calls her back after a quick look at her business card. He says she can stay until she finds somewhere else. They'll just have to find a way to make things work.
Elle shows up at the bar and is surprised to find Janae there since she's got school.
ELLE: Aren't you, like, 15?
JANAE: I'm 17!
ELLE: Are you even allowed to be in here?
JANAE: Look, I'm just… I'm filling in for Boyd, okay.
Elle comments on how it'll be good for Max to come home. Janae says that's not happening now since he ‘chucked a major wobbly'. Elle looks worried and leaves the bar.
Garden of no. 30
Ned's showing the new housemates around and tells them all the rules and stuff about the pool. Katya's talking to Rosetta (the woman who'd been promised Toadie's room) and wants to know if she's related to Carmella since they have the same last name. It turns out that they're sisters! Katya tells Rosetta that Carmella used to live at no 30 but now she's moved across the street while she's ‘taking a break from the nun run'. Rosetta doesn't exactly seem thrilled at the prospect of meeting her sister again. Ned tells Katya Toadie didn't say anything about getting Rosetta his room, but Katya doesn't believe him. He offers her a night in a suite at Lassiters as compensation and they mention confessions and now I'm feeling sick again as I've had enough of all the lame nun jokes.
Rosetta apologises to Will for making him stay in the cupboard room. He says it's good for the soul. Frazer sends them some jealous looks from afar until Pepper takes her top off (she's wearing a bikini underneath) and gets ready for a swim by play fighting with Frazer.
Max's hospital room
Elle's come over for a visit and Max is still fairly groggy so doesn't really respond to her coming into the room.
ELLE: It's my fault you're in here.
ELLE: If you think you're crazy that's because I wanted you to think that. I stole your footy tickets. I moved Charlie so that you'd look neglectful. The PI you sent after me, I paid him off. That was all me. I lost my best friend when Cam died and there you were, happily getting on with your life with your perfect little family. But I went too far. It's not going to bring Cam back, I know that now. So I'm going to go out there and I'm going to tell the doctors everything and that none of this was your fault. And then you'll be able to go home. Max, are you listening?
MAX: Yeah, I'm listening, sweetheart. And I appreciate your concern, Steph. Really, I do. I don't get all the help I need in here and you're coping so well. I'm not used to you like this.
ELLE: Max, I'm not Steph.
MAX: Don't argue. I know you're better off without me. Can you turn out the light on your way out, I'm kind of tired.
Elle leaves, fairly shaken.
No. 30- Pepper's and Frazer's room
Pepper returns from the shower all itchy so she thinks she might be having an allergic reaction to the soap. Frazer's quickly filling up the wardrobe and Pepper again comments on his amount fo clothes.
PEPPER: I hope you've left some space in the wardrobe for me.
FRAZER: You don't even fold your clothes, why would you want to hang them?
PEPPER: Fine, take the wardrobe. I'll start my own floor-drobe, it saves me time in the morning anyway.
Frazer says he's now trying to remember why he agreed to do this with her in the first place. Pepper says it was his idea because he was desperate and she's going to bring some zing to his life. She reckons he's now got the hots for Rosetta and he points out that she seems to have a thing for Will and Ned herself. Frazer decides to sleep on the floor tonight and bunks down on a mattress.
Steph and Boyd have returned to take Max home and Sheena's there to help them with the admin stuff. Steph signs the release form and they go to pick Max up from his room. Sheens tells him Max got his meds just after dinner so he might be asleep, but when they get to his room they find nothing! He's gone!