- Stu advises Ned that Elle is drop-dead gorgeous
- Ned advises Stu that he has feelings for Izzy
- Paul advises Harold that he's starting up a new café business
- Katya advises Karl that he'll have nothing to do with Zeke and Rachel.
Karl is dressed like a pack of Refreshers. Karl takes Katya into a side room because he wants to slap her, and she looks like a naughty little school kid in front of him. Or a bored fan, one of the two. Karl tells her that they need to get one thing clear – nothing is going on between him and Susan. But Katya knows there is – she saw his face at the wedding. (It's true, it was so heartbreaking, despite the fact that he has no-one to blame but himself.) I think had she seen Susan's face in realising that Karl loved her when he signed the thingie would have been even better evidence, but Katya obviously wasn't looking at that point.
Katya tells Karl she's not stupid – he's still in love with Susan. Well, no-one's going to deny that, Karl included, so he reiterates that he and Susie are just friends.
KATYA: So you can guarantee me that the two of you will never reconcile?
KARL: Susan and I ended our marriage a long time ago.
KATYA: Which doesn't really answer my question.
Nothing gets past you, does it, Katya??
Hey – Katya and Karl have the same initials, I just noticed.
Katya doesn't believe that Karl is really the best person to treat Zeke, but he insists that he is – sometimes counselling is the best option.
KATYA: And it has nothing to do with being close to Susan?
KARL: No of course not!
Katya strops off and Karl looks like a pack of refreshers in that shirt. Incidentally, that's the shirt Fletch was wearing in the BBC documentary for the 20th anniversary.
Number 22 where we learn that animal print looks good on no-one
Isabelle is on the phone to the grocery wholesaler and flirts her way to a fifteen per cent discount. Woopeedoo. Paul is shining his shoes in an energetic fashion that could become an Olympic sport, and isn't paying much attention to Iz. Seriously, I hope he doesn't have to do too many takes of this scene – his arm would fall off. He's not great when it comes to limbs.
Isabelle appears to have done a deal with the supplier to bump TGS off their list and work with her and Paul instead. Paul is still manically cleaning and Isabelle grabs his hands to stop him. Elle comes in and is proof that animal print looks tacky and chavvy on even the prettiest of people. Trinny and Susannah would freak.
She announces and she and Ned are off to Tasmania tomorrow, and that her dad can stay in contact on email. She won't talk to Paul about it – she's leaving regardless. Paul gets quite emotional after his daughter leaves, and Izzy tries to reassure him.
Lassiters where we find that Susan and Isabelle never bonded in the water
Notices announce the opening of the new Boutique Café. How unoriginal. Isabelle is wandering around with a clipboard to make herself look busy and important. It doesn't work. She reprimands a worker, and Max tells her to be more gracious. He's concerned that she owns a bar with him, yet she seems to have not been there most of the morning. He's also worried that this Boutique Café will cut into their business.
ISABELLE: Max, you should know me better by now.
I think it's precisely *because* he knows you better that he's making that comment, Isabelly. And goodo who should appear but Suse. “The traditional Susan / Isabelle showdown. I wonder who'll win this time?
Is tells Susan that they're not open (no, really?) so she'll have to come back in the morning. And queue up. Susie wants to know what Isabelly is up to, and tells her that she'll be in direct competition with TGS. Max tries to intervene before this turns into a cat fight but shuts up very quickly. Susan makes it clear that Izzy will be making life hard for Harold and Lou – who work so hard.
ISABELLE: You amaze me, Susan. And on your chalky salary, I thought you'd jump at a bargain.
MAX: I might just…
SUSAN: Excuse me?
ISABELLE: Some people aren't as wonderful as you think they are. Time is money.
Susan does get Izzy, so leaves in utter confusion. And Max appears to be wearing one of Susan's tops – you know, the one from the TGS scene in the Swinging!Jenny episode, the shirt that's too high on the neck.
Looks like Isabelle and Susie's plane experience had no long-lasting bonding effect, then. Chuck 'em back in!
Erinsborough Hospital where Everyone Knows
Elle is here to visit Ned and meets Katya – Elle has brought enough presents to bribe him to go to Tasmania with her. Just as they go into Ned's room, Susan arrives and runs into Karl. Goody.
Ned can't believe all the Valentine's presents, and Elle insists that he open them. He kisses her, and confesses he's been distracted lately, then says he wants to go to Tassy. Bribing worked, then. That was quick. Elle looks all pretty and dreadful in that top, and Ned tries to look pleased about his decision, but it's hard, because he
can't act doesn't really want to go.
Susan is telling Karl that she's taking Zeke to the specialist later in the week, and it's for the best. She's all flustered. Karl asks what brought this on, and Susan says that the specialist is a leader in her field, and she wants to make sure she hasn't overlooked anything. Karl spots Katya at the other end of the corridor, and Susan turns round to see what Karl's staring at. Kattier strops off through some double doors which I wish had slammed into her face, but sadly not.
Karl tells Susan not to worry about it and she looks all apologetic. She knows that Karl knows why she's done it.
And we know that she knows that Karl knows that Kattier knows they're having an affair.
The Boutique Café where Stuff Happens
A guy walks in the Boutique Café with something that looks like a wooden nuclear warhead, and Isabelle checks out his butt. She's still holding TheClipboard™ when Stupot comes in. Stu tells Isabelle to stay away from Ned – his brother told him what's going on, and Stuart doesn't want her to play her games anymore. WHY could no-one but Susan see these games two years ago?
Stu offers to talk to Paul if Isabelle doesn't back off. Isabelle tells him to check his facts first – she said she'd miss him when he went to Tassy, but Ned's not her thing. She was flattered by his attention, but Ned is naïve, and misunderstood what she said. She thinks he's freaking out about Elle; after all, he hardly knows her and they're already moving interstate.
Stu says he'll talk to Ned. And Isabelly says she doesn't want to see him again which of course means we cut to…
Erinsborough Hospital where Ned forgets his lines
…Isabelle going into Ned's room. He's on crutches, always definitely better in a supporting role. (/laughs loudly at own bad joke)
She declares that Ned betrayed her with Stuart; she thought he was different, but he's the same as the rest. At least she knows what she's getting with Paul, who doesn't pretend to be anything other than what he is. Ned says he was confused and Stupot was there. Isabelle thinks they should stop it all now, and notices the presents to Ned. She comments that this must be a guilt present from Elle – for getting some ‘rent-a-crowd' girls to drool all over the lead in the play. Who was, of course, supposed to be Ned.
Not seemingly getting it, Ned says that the play got good reviews. Isabelle tells him they were paid for, too. And the photo-shoot.
Kattier comes in, all catty about Karl being late so Ned can't be discharged (ewww!) but Karl K appears just at the moment and declares that – actually – he's on time. He asks Ned some quick questions, and discharges Ned who looks like he's in shock.
I think he's just forgotten his lines.
Kattier leaves the room and Isabelle's waiting – she warns her not to trust Karl. Karl likes them young. Apparently, Isabelle includes herself in that category.
Number 28 where we're back to the original Karl and Susan Canon
Susan answers the door to Kattier who's popping round to see her siblings, but they're next door watching a video. Susie-Q invites her in and Kattier immediately starts on the fact that her father would never have let them watch films and stuff. Susan explains that their homework is done, and they're going to be home by 2030, so there's no real problem.
Plus, you know, she's their guardian and Kattier hasn't seen them for, what, a hundred years?? And Alex did leave the kids to Susan.
Their tops clash gregariously as they stand in the kitchen, and Kattier finds something else to start on – she saw Suse at the hospital with Karl today. Susan explains that she was telling Karl she's taking Zeke to see a specialist. Katya looks genuinely apologetic. Susan sets the record straight.
SUSAN: Whatever happened between me and Karl, he was my husband for over twenty five years. We have three kids together, and he will *always* be an important part of my life.
It was FOUR years over twenty five…why not say nearly thirty years?? Looks like we're back to the original canon – the only one that actually works with Karl and Susan, by the way – the canon of 1994 and 2004. Ah. Good times.
Susie offers to leave the house so that Katya can spend some time on her own with the kids. Kattier appears to be grateful for this and agrees.
Number 30 where we find a gratuitous shirtless Stu
Stu asks Ned exactly what Isabelle said to him. Ned thinks he got it wrong, now, and Stu reminds him that Elle's counting on him going to Tasmania. Just at that point Elle and her animal print come in to cook Ned a Valentine's feast, and he wishes she hadn't gone to all that trouble.
He asks her about rent-a-crowd, and she says that she did it because he's such a bad actor, she wanted to make him feel better. I mean, because she loves him – word of mouth is the best advertising!! Stu comes in all shirtless and gratuitous, and Ned points out that Karl has no idea, either. Elle wanted to do it to give him a boost. She wanted the rest of the world to see his talent, too.
Ned tells Elle to sort things out with her dad before they go anywhere. She owes him a decent goodbye.
The General Store
Max tells Harold that Paul is awful for going into competition with them, but Harold seems unaffected. Max suggests pooling their resources to do their buying from their suppliers – they'll get better deals. Harold doesn't think so, though, he has his own ways of doing things. And a sponge in the oven.
Max greets Karl on the way out, who sees Susan on the way in. He explains to her that he's had some run ins with Katya at the hospital, and she has a real bee in her bonnet about mothering the children. Susan knows, and tells him that Kat is with her siblings now. Karl thinks Susie should set Kat straight, and she asks him to stay for a kiss for coffee.
KARL: Happy Valentine's day, by the way.
KARL: Er, ah, I'm sorry, I mean that in a general sense, as you would say to a friend, you know...
SUSAN: Yeah Karl…
KARL: It's a stupid construction anyway…it's just an excuse to sell cards and flowers...
SUSAN: Karl, Karl!
SUSAN: Shut up!
She asks why he isn't on stage, and he admits that the show has been cancelled; she tries not to laugh and asks why. He tells her it's due to poor ticket sales. Jackie does the cutest, *cutest* smile before cracking up laughing, and it's Kennedy banter all over again. Karl doesn't understand it – they had rave reviews, a great night…what's going on?
SUSAN: Rave reviews…Karl Kenndy…who'd'a thunk it?!
KARL: You have mocked my musical career all of my life, and now I have an independent witness to verify my genius!
SUSAN: Genius, genius, gee – I didn't see the word genius actually anywhere in print. Did you?
KARL: It was subtextual. It was clearly implied.
Like their affair, methinks.
SUSAN: Oh, look, I'm *that* sorry I missed it.
They smirk at each other. You know what's so nice about this scene? It's not just the Kennedy banter and the fun and the chemistry – and did I mention the banter? It's that Jackie and Alan just look so happy to be working together again, playing off each other, reading each other perfectly. They just look so happy.
And so am I.
Number 22 where Isabelle throws a Tantrum and a Shoe
Paul is still manically cleaning shoes and Elle is trying to apologise. And OMG, not only is she wearing animal print, she's wearing it with PASTEL PINK. Kill me now. She is Gail's daughter from the 80s.
Isabelle comments that Elle is in good hands with Ned, and he walks out…Elle tells Isabelle that she's explained about the rent-a-crowd and that Ned's okay with it. Paul tells her to leave now – he doesn't know why she's here. Paul doesn't want to make up with her, and she leaves.
Isabelle tells Paul to stop pushing Elle away. She snatches a shoe from Paul who demands it back and throws it at him.
Ramsay Street where I'm getting Bored
Isabelle runs after Elle and tells her not to make this mistake. Elle says Paul means nothing to her, but Izzy tells her that the things her father said are his illness talking. Stuart interrupts looking for Ned. Isabelle tells Elle once again to make up with Paul but Elle's having none of it.
The General Store where the Lovers are Sprung
Susan's telling Karl about her trip. She thinks it's ironic that they always planned to go to Europe together, and ended up both going alone on separate honeymoons. Isn't the plural ‘honeymi'? Anyway.
Susan says it was nice to see where Alex grew up – it was like a piece of the puzzle and she felt really close to him there. Karl takes her hand – which she is already holding *way* too near to his body to just be friends, and holds it. She rubs her thumb over his fingers and they just gaze at each other. (/sigh) Then Kattier walks in, loudly announcing that she's here to get dessert for the kids. Hang on, I thought Alex didn't let them have dessert? Karl doesn't let go of Susan's hand straight away, which I love.
SUSAN: Did you feel like we were just sprung?
KARL: A definite slap on the wrists.
Karl tells her that she shouldn't let Kat get to her, and that he refuses to change his life for her; he fully intends to be friends with Susan.
Number 30 where it's still Not Over
Paul turns up at the house and begs for Elle's forgiveness, but she says that she wants to go. Paul tells his daughter that he needs her, but she retorts that she needed him, too, when she was growing up. She now feels loved and wanted, and doesn't want Paul to hurt her anymore. She asks him to leave but he begs her. Stu comes to the door and asks Paul to leave, too.
The Scarlet Bar where
Max serves Ned with some beers, and Ned asks how he is. Max tells him that it's not a good day with the whole café thing, and all the loving couples. You know, like Karl and Susan. Ned asks Max to say goodbye to Isabelle, just as she appears. Izzy tells Max to head home and he gratefully agrees. So she takes Ned into the back room. He tells her he wanted to say good bye to her, and that he didn't mean to make her feel betrayed. She plays it cool, then grabs him into a hug as he says goodbye. Then kisses him.
And one of Ned's crutches falls away and smashes a photo of Paul, Izzy and Elle. A promo picture, by the looks of things. How narcissistic.
Line of the episode:
KARL: “It was subtextual. It was clearly implied.”
Best performance of the episode:
Well, Jackie, just for coming home and holding Karl's hand and gazing. That'll do it every time.
Best ‘Rock On' moment:
The bit where Kattier tells Karl he's so obviously in love with Susan…
The scene that TPTB forgot to include:
The kissing scene at the hospital.