Stu tells Izzy to back off on Ned - or he'll tell Paul!
Elle, her animal print cardi, and Ned are off to Tasmania tomorrow
Ned and Izzy pash and Ned's crutch smashes a family photo of Pizzy and Elle, rather symbolically.
Scarlet Bar office
Izzy is zipping up her boots and Ned is checking that the zipper in his trousers is up (or that would be so embarrassing). Izzy has also lost her cardi so we should presume that things went quite far, then. Ned notices that the photo frame is cracked and realises that he's stuffed up *big time* (it's unlikely anyone's going to argue with him on that.) Izzy reminds him that can't tell anyone about 'what we've shared'. Ned mistakenly thinks that they should be honest about these things but Izzy convinces him to stay quiet as Paul can be a little unstable.
IZZY: I guess that means Tasmania is out of the question
Ned sighs. Izzy sneaks a look at him, trying not to smile.
Toadie, Connor, Elle and Stingray are watching Stingray's film of Toadie. Toadie doesn't like how he's coming across as a whinger. Stu calling Ned to ask WHERE ARE YOU. He knew he shouldn't have let him go alone to get the beer.
Stinger thinks Toadie's unhappiness stems from the fact that he has no one to love: the film was taken when he and Connor were having a 'lover's tiff'. Their attention is diverted to a scene where Elle and Ned are pashing, which Elle quickly turns off. Stingray's film has been shortlisted at the Eden Hills Film Festival but he doesn't think that will get him into uni, as he's an ex-con with no VCE. Toadie thinks that there's always another way in.
Ned hobbles in at last and Stu tells him it's ABOUT TIME (what's with all the shouting today, Stu-pot??). 'WHERE'S THE BEER?' the boys demand and aren't happy when they find Ned hasn't got any: he was elsewhere 'putting his foot up'. Elle buys the story but Stu's policeman instinct is making him a bit suspicious.
Paul is frantically cleaning away when treacherous Izzy arrives home and stops him. He doesn't know how she puts up with him and he starts cleaning again, thinking how he can never get it right with his kids. Izzy would bet a million dollars that this thing with Elle will work out.
PAUL: You seem pretty sure of that.
IZZY: Woman's intuition
Paul points out that her intuition is a tiny bit flawed: Elle's ferry leaves first thing tomorrow and she's still not talking to him.
IZZY (pleased with herself): We'll see.
The General Store
Lou informs Harold that he's been undercover at Paul's new caff and found out that the mongrel's targeting their market! Same menu, set up and everything, and he's undercut their prices - what a shocker! Harry isn't bothered - it's just business. Lou's quite looking forward to this little stramash and is planning their next move. Harry is reluctant to try anything new, thinking things will work themselves out. Louis reminds him that this is their livelihood - and Sky's. Harold is convinced that their customers will stay loyal and they won't go under. But then Lou walks away and Harry looks a wee bit apprehensive.
Having had a few beers, Toadie is reminding them of how everyone thought Ned was gay when he first arrived apart from Toadie and won't let Connor say otherwise. He also says that Elle had a crush on him - don't remember that bit and neither does anyone else but it coulda happened. Needless to say, love won out in the end. Elle kisses Ned's forehead but he looks as if he's just lost out in the last few tickets for Take That's reunion tour. Toadie will miss them both.
STINGRAY: Speak for yourself!
(I have to agree with him). Anyhoo Glum Ned gets up to get a drink, closely pursued by his bro, who asks if he's alright, considering he's acting a whole lotta weird. Ned says he's fine but it's so unconvincing that Stu reminds him that if he's having second thoughts about the trip, he has to get them sorted now. Ned looks confused right into the ad break.
Outside Number 30
The next day and Ned and Elle are getting ready to leave. Connor's gonna miss everything as he's taking so long in the shower. Toadie scares Stu by his observations on Elle's fashion sense: he doesn't mention the Lyn Scully-inspired animal print cardi, alas. Ned is 'dumbstruck with grief' at leaving the HoT according to Toad. Ned spots Izzy and Paul walking across the road and he and Izzy exchange not-so-discreet secret looks at each other. Elle returns, having said goodbye to Sky, (today she's wearing a nice prettyful brown cardi with flowers on it) and tells Ned she's so glad to be going (ignoring her father *big time*). She tries to kiss Ned but he decides that now's the time to tell her that he can't go - it's just not right! Elle is, like, so confused.
Connor is straight out of the shower and pretending he's Tom Cruise in 'The Last Samurai'. He manages to eavesdrop on Elle and Ned 'discussing' Ned's little revelation. Elle can't believe it - of all the times for him to spring it on her! He admits that it's not just about Tasmania, just as Connor creeps into the hallway to get a better view of the action. He wants them to break up.
CONNOR (bursting into the living room): What??!!
He makes the excuse of needing to get the Wimbledon racquet off the wall for 'Samurai Warrior Wimbledon'. Yeah, that's a real good excuse, Connor. But the unhappy couple are more interested in what's happening between them. Ned says he isn't good enough for her - she's built him up into this person he can't be.
ELLE: That's the best you can do? You *break* my heart and that's the best excuse you can come up with?
NED: I'm sorry
ELLE (employing Soap Cliché line #135): Yeah. So am I.
Time for Ned to sigh a bit more as Elle storms out.
Elle is crying on her Dad's shoulder as Izzy looks on. Izzy wants to know if Ned gave Elle a reason and she repeats his lame excuse. Paul says it proves that she deserves better. Izzy thinks there's nothing stopping from her moving straight in but Elle can't, with Ned living so close: Tasmania isn't even far enough away! She might move to Ghana instead. Izzy makes a big show of distress, saying she's come to think of Elle as family (yeah and family really do that kinda stuff to each other...) - she'd miss her so much! Elle hugs her. Paul promises to shield her from him if she stays. She says she'll think about it. Izzy looks visibly shocked - her dastardly plan is faltering! Paul wants Elle to help with the opening of the new café - he has a surprise for her!
Girls are handing out leaflets for Paul's new venture, wearing skimpy midriff revealing tops. Harry thinks they don't have anything to worry about but Lou's just too busy gawping at the girls to listen. Yuk. Harry thinks the cheapness of this display will put people off. Lou thinks he's too old to understand - he's got to hand it to Paul: he knows what he's doing.
Pizzy and Elle arrive and Paul's fit to burst into song, he's so happy. Elle is still glum as Paul laughs and says hello to Louis and Harold.
The General Store
Lou tells Harry off for saying hello to Paul as he personifies evil: Harold says there's nothing wrong in being polite.
Ned and Cop-Stu arrive. Stu abandons his bro to go to work, just as Paul comes out and spots Ned. Izzy spies on them as Ned apologises. Paul informs him that he has an enemy for life.
NED (raises his eyebrows): Yeah. Fair call.
Paul tells him that if he so much looks at another member of his family he's going to get it. Ned goes off, glumly. Izzy rushes over, asking if thing's are okay. Paul wants to sing a show tune - he hasn't felt so good in months! Izzy is jumpy when he talks about moving onto his next task but this one is about Lou and Harold. Izzy seems to be a woman on the edge, yet again (how soon until this secret comes out, I wonder??)
The General Store
Toadie has a way in to uni for Stingray - he suggests showing the film to a lecturer at the uni named Josh Nelson that Toadie knows from his uniFM days. What's more this lecturer is so anti-establishment he'd love to take on someone like Stinger. Stinger just has to stand out from the crowd to get noticed.
The midriff girls come in, to Toadie and Connor's obvious glee, but Lou chucks them and their flyers out. When they hear about Paul's plan they pledge to help Lou and the GS out. They order some giant breakfasts even though they aren't hungry.
The new Café
Izzy is going on about how this place 'is awesome' when Connor and Toadie pass, saying about how much it sucks. Paul makes a speech, which Toadie slow claps through (although Connor intervenes to stop him). Paul says Erinsborough has been crying out for such a place: a place worthy of them.
TOADIE: I feel sick!
CONNOR: Me too - it must've been something we ate here.
They run out, warning everyone not to eat the food. Harold and Lou watch them. Paul brushes them off as rent-a-clowns and officially opens 'Lucinda's Café', pulling back the curtain to reveal a big sign saying 'Lucinda's at Lassiter's' (yay, now I finally now how to spell Lassiter's correctly). Lucinda (Elle, I mean) is happy and surprised. Izzy says how it was her idea and she has a vested interest in keeping her happy: a happy Elle = a happy Paul. The plan works - Elle is staying! Time for a group hug.
Stingray comes back to find a grumbling Ned taking some time out. Stingray is wearing a tutu and has some weird props with him that are his 'ticket into Uni'.
Somewhere in Erinsborough
A man - Josh Nelson - is confronted with a weird looking robot thing - the robot is wearing Stingray's tutu. There's a DVD player and a screen, telling Josh to play the DVD and look into some goggles in order to watch it. The man looks into the viewing goggles and finds Stingray talking back at him, who reckons he could be just about the best thing to happen to his film school. Josh takes his face away from the goggles for us to see he has blue paint on his face from them, and nods to himself that this is, indeed, clever.
Elle has drunk so much coffee that she won't be able to sleep for a month - but not like she will be anyway, as she's so depressed and heartbroken over Ned. Paul is going to make things a bit easier for her: how about she manages this place? She's surprised and thinks that he's the 'greatest Dad ever'.
Lou appears, wanting a word. He wants Paul to know that he's no pushover - Harold might have given up but he hasn't. He has no intention of playing nice. Paul is delighted, telling him to do his feeble worse.
Izzy is home alone and Ned comes calling. He's gonna tell Elle the truth. Izzy reminds him that he said he wouldn't. He muses that 'the truth never hurts as much as lies do'.
NED: The truth is we belong together and you know it.
Izzy thinks he's right but she can't leave Paul because he'll get jealous and angry and he might do anything. Ned buys this, saying he'll protect her. She says they have to do things her way - keep a lid on things until she figures out what to do with Paul. She tells him to go as Paul's due back any minute and he reluctantly does as he's told.
NED (turning around): Izzy...
IZZY : No, don't speak. Just go.
He does and she rolls her eyes - what has she got herself into?