Susan asks Karl to be her support guy
Dylan and Stinger with Roo pre-robbery
Alex now has months and not weeks
Susan and Alex are still rejoicing about the happy news when Susan puts a dampener on it and says he should tell the kids. Alex doesn't think he needs to at the moment; he'd rather wait until he had a clearer idea of his “due by date”. Just like a carton of milk.
Rachel and Zeke walk in and Alex asks what they've been up to. Zeke gives him a guilty look and says he had detention. “You had what?” their dad roars like he's committed a mortal sin.
Steph's on the phone to the bike owner, buying herself another day with the machine so she can ooh and ahh over it… erm, so she can give it the attention it deserves. Max makes fun of her when she hangs up. “Are you calling me a bike napper?” Steph asks in mock disgust, as they walk out the side door.
Cue Paul and Dylan walking in the front door. Paul's giving him merit points for the fantabulous idea he had re: the 20th anniversary flight, but Dylan's slowly losing them as he ridicules Elle on missing out. Paul wants him to either tell him what's on his mind or stop being a moody son of a gun, ‘cause he ain't taking anymore guff about his daughter. Dylan tells his sensei that he's in major trouble.
Here begins the semi-musical montage segment of the evening. Sky's trying to study for her exams but is getting more distracted and frustrated as time goes on.
SKY: (picks up text) Look book, I don't like you, you don't like me but by God we're going to get through these exams, okay?
She drinks copious amounts of coffee, faceplants into the table, tries to smash a bickie on her forehead and looks stressed to the max. Until… she spies something possibly shiny and distracting on the other side of the room.
Stinger's trying to study as well but it's proving difficult with Bree blabbing on and on about how totally cool Zeke is, and like how he's so totally smart and funny and he like plays music with his nose! Yeah, don't ask…
STINGRAY: Unless you want me to fail just take your nose music and your toastie and skitz!
Bree answers a knock at the door; it's Stu in his police uniform. Stingray has his OMG!111 face on but it's okay, he's only bringing Harvey back. When Constable Parker's gone Bree asks what Stingray's done now (mooning Dave Bishop is one of her theories) since he looks so alarmed, but Stingray insists it's just exam stress.
Ned and Stu are watching TV in the kitchen but turn their attention to Toadie and his bikini catalogue (he's also wearing some fetching toe separators for his painted nails). Toad and Stu admire a female model's physique, and when Ned comments that she looks “healthy” – oh, they're looking at her boobies, let's not kid ourselves – he quickly backtracks and wonders what solarium she uses for her tan. Toad gets all buddy-buddy and asks what type Ned's into, an athletic guy or more of a “nerd O.C. type”, but apologises for prying when he senses Ned's uncomfortable. “Whatever sizzles your steak.”
Dylan has just told Paul the whole shebang and asks what they're going to do. Paul wishes he had have come to him straight away, they could have gone to the police together and told them about the grudge Roo has against him. If they go to the police now though it's just going to look like Dylan's made up some pathetic story to save himself.
PAUL: Dylan I sometimes wonder whether I taught you anything at all.
Sure you did. You taught him to always value other people's relationships… oh, hang on. Um, you taught him that money isn't everything… um, hmm… Oh, I know! You taught him how to look like the Men In Black in the credits! Bonza. Dylan tries to blame Paul for getting Roo in trouble with the cops in the first place, but Paul says he brought it all on himself. “We have to learn how to deal with the monsters we create,” Paul Yoda's (or should that be ‘Deal with how to learn to create the monsters we have'). Dylan asks him to have a chat with Scotty but Paul thinks that's a job for him – and as far as he's concerned, they never had this conversation. “The best help I can give you is to leave you to clean up your own filthy mess.”
Max and Steph are in getting chocolate and liquorice for “Boyd” to help him “study”, meaning that Steph's going to scoff the lot. She teasingly asks if Max is calling her fat but he says he'd never dream of it (the random extra shopkeeper giggles her silent laugh at them).
They pass Susan on their way out as she bumps into Karl, still wearing his marvellous purple diamond-print vest. She says she feels muddy about her feelings for Alex now since he's got such a great prognosis, but Karl tells her she thinks too much. “Don't over-intellectualise, just follow your heart. Get re-engaged.” Susan's worried about the future but Karl says she'd be better off grabbing what happiness she can while she can. Okay, who is this man and what have you done with Karl? His vest must be made out of a new fabric, mature-lyester.
Ned tries to make a quiet getaway with his kit bag but manages to knock a lamp over like a klutz. Toadie zooms into the hallway to catch him (and now has the Max Hoyland circa 2003 blue/green face mask on), thinking he's going to “Fruits in suits”. Bananas in Pyjamas wear formal wear now? Stu also makes an appearance in the hallway just as Ned escapes Crazy Frog.
Toadie thinks it's ace that Ned's finally meeting some new friends but Stu warns him to shut up before he throws up on him and his Mardi Gras float. He still doesn't think Ned's gay but he's going to get the truth out of him tonight, whatever it is. Toadie won't let him belittle Ned physically or emotionally though, “You've built a wall in front of your heart and you just need to let that down.” Yeah righto, Oprah. Stu says Toadie's starting to scare him. Starting to?!
Dylan's having the freak out now, he thinks that he and Stingray are going to both go to the slammer but Stinger says that's not going to happen. He says for Dyl to stop apologising as well, it's going to be fine, and offers him a brotherly handshake.
Bree answers another knock at the door (as chief door answerer of the evening). It's Sky dressed as a hippy and carrying a box full of props.
SKY: Okay somebody help me ‘cause I'm freaking out and I know how it looks so help me out.
The fellas look at her like she's cuckoo but she urges them to play along for her own sanity, she needs a big break from studying. “Welcome aboard the mothership,” Sky smiles. Groovy man.
Zeke is telling Susan what Bree thinks about detention (I.e. they're a waste of time and that people should be made to have extra study time or something), and how Bree said Susan would approve of her ideas.
RACHEL: What else does Bree think?
ZEKE: Well, she has some interesting ideas on…
ALEX: I think your sister's being a bit facetious mate.
RACHEL: Bree thinks this, Bree thinks that… Rachel thinks you might like her.
Carly thinks he does too. Zeke's all, “And what if I do… a bit?” Susan believes that's dandy if he does because Bree's a lovely girl. Love can be like a Rollercoaster she adds (just like that song!) to which Rachel inquires if her dad and Suse are back together officially ‘cause of their whole Rollercoaster ride. They say they're playing it by ear. The kids are told to scurry off with their dessert to study while the adults make googly-eyes at one another.
SUSAN: I am still in love with you.
ALEX: Well I never stopped.
SUSAN: You know I can't marry you.
ALEX: Yeah, I know.
Scummins' aka Erinstock 2005
Sky has given the boys a hippy makeover, as well as the house and Bree, and gets the floaty music pumping. The guys are reluctant at first but Sky drags Stinger on the couch with her and starts to dance. She jumps over to Dylan and speaks in an odd mystical voice to set the mood. Eventually they all start to dance and make peace signs like good little flower children.
Okay everyone saw that, right? Right?
*scurries off to check the expiry date on her allergy tablets*
Stu pounces on poor Ned as soon as he gets back home, letting him know that their parents called wanting to know if Ned had met any nice girls while he was here. Stu says he should ring them back to “set them straight”.
Toadie waltzes out with… oh for the love of… he's got foils in his hair now. He tells Stu off for bullying Ned about coming out and the two of them argue until Ned finally cracks – in his not so flustered Ned way of course. “Alright, alright, shut-up,” he says, managing to startle a baby butterfly somewhere. “I'm not gay.” He admits to Toadie he only went along with it to get him off his case, apologising because he knew how much Toadie wanted a gay friend.
TOADIE: I've still got Gino.
The boys want to know what the heck Ned's secret is then, but Needles says he'll tell them when he's good and ready.
TOADIE: It hasn't got anything to do with a weird sci-fi group does it? ‘Cause I have a mate Lance who…
If Ned doesn't tell anyone, he reasons, then no one will know if he stuffs up or not. Toadie yells out after Ned's retreating figure that he can help (yes, because that worked so well the last time), as Stu checks on Toadie's foils, getting a slap across the cheek for his efforts.
Hats of to Ryan and Blair for not wetting themselves laughing before the director yelled cut. Crack. Up.
Hoylands' Front Yard
Max brings out some coffee to Steph who has surgically implanted herself on the bike. She wants to go for a quick ride but Max has his concerned face on. Steph reminds him she'd never do anything to harm the baby but…
STEPH: …being around this bike, it's made me remember who I was before I got married and I don't want to lose that free side of me.
Biker Steph is still in there somewhere! Hooray! Max relents, she can take it for a spin but there's one condition – he's coming with her. He goes to get the helmets while Steph does an excited little preggy belly jig on the bike.
Bree tells Stingray, Sky and Dylan not to stress so much about their exams, she read all the set texts and they're not that bad! “Yeah, for a brainiac like you maybe,” Dylan mutters.
They pass Susan and the Kinski clan (Bree and Zeke give each other a cute grin) on the way and Susan takes Stinger aside for a chat. She tells him how proud she is of him but he thinks she should wait until she sees his results first. Susan says he could never disappoint her (hello, my anvil friends are back) and says he'll be fine.
The One And Only Classroom
Susan hands out the exam papers to the kids while the random orange-shirted extra next to Stingray gives him a brief filthy look that he quickly tries to disguise (it's either, ‘Oh man, I have to sit next to him?' or ‘I mimed to you not to wear yellow, we clash now you dolt!').
She reminds them all of the rules (one being ‘no mobile phones', jot that down) and sets them off to work. Stingray taps and taps and taps his fingers on the desk and if I were in that exam I would have rugby tackled him by now. Suse just gives him a pointed look and he stops. Dyl checks out how Sky's going and she gives him the peace sign. Far out, man. Listen to the background music too, it changes from the scary strings of doom to ‘I'm running in the Olympics! I can do this, I am the greatest!' Hehe.
Time passes and everyone is interrupted by Dylan's phone going off (his ring tone sounds like space invaders). Susan takes it off him and Stinger takes a leaf out of his mate orange-shirt's book and shoots his bro a dirty look. And may I just say that Dylan's hair tonight? About an 8 on the greaseometer. Nice work hair and make-up department.
Max and Steph are thrilled after the fabulous bike ride but Karl and Alex make fun of him. Max wishes that Janelle had have seen that, it could have made Tex's life more interesting. Alex monotones that both the guys came out pretty badly in the book.
Max goes to work just as Paul sidles up and asks Karl about his rsvp on the plane trip, waving two tickets in his face for incentive.
PAUL: Oh come on, it's proven to be very popular. Even people that loathe me are coming.
KARL: Must be standing room only.
KARL: As much as the thought of being thousands of feet in the air with you and Izzy thrills me no end, I've really got to wash my hair.
He takes the tickets off Paul though and hands them to Alex, saying that he and Susan can have them. Wow, he's not going to hate himself for making that decision at all. Not. At. All.
The One And Only Classroom
Suse tells the kids that their time's up and they all leave the room looking mucho depressed. Dylan grabs his phone off Ms. Smith and apologises. She says she could report him but she won't. Oh go on, what's one more spot of trouble for Dylan really?
Sky complains that it was like having a clamp on her brain. She tells Stingray that she's going to check on Serena as the space invaders start to play again on Dylan's phone. It looks like trouble though, Roo's being a pain in the butt and it's freaking Dylan out. Roo's not too happy that Dylan hasn't been caught yet so he's going to take the gun from the robbery to the police – the one with Dylan's prints all over it.
DYLAN: We're finished, mate.