Roo telling Dylan he wants some payback
Janelle almost sneaking her way back into Lynnie's house
Susan shutting the door in Karl's face when the Kinskis were there
Dylan robbing the petrol station & being caught on tape
Lynnie (with Oscar beside her) whacks Susan happily with her snotty tissue, “Of course I'll be in your bloomin' bridal party!” They celebrate the fact that they've both landed on their feet now; after all they've been through, with a hug.
Karl sees them and immediately assumes Lyn is comforting Susan after she finally found out about Alex's condition. He saunters over to them, “I'd just like to say I'm so dreadfully sorry.” Susan's confused, she's pretty darn chuffed at the moment and doesn't get the condolences, putting it down to nutty jealousy on Karl's part.
Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry, merry king of the bush is he… Sorry, the random kookaburra stock shot caused Grade 3 music class flashbacks.
Stinger and Dylan are making their way home after the afternoon session of thieving, with Stinger saying they should go to the police. Dylan's not keen at all, there were no witnesses other than him, “The cops will never take the word of a Timmins, they never will.” He says they need to keep a low profile and get an alibi.
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Janelle strolls in and pushes the door into Joe's head; he's behind it fixing the hinges. She's there to use the facilities; in this case, the kitchen table so she can study up on hairdressing. They bicker away as Bree and Rachel walk through the back door, they're there to use the facilities as well… the couch to eat their lunch. These Timmins folk need to understand the meaning of ‘facility' I think to myself. And then I think to myself, ‘Boy, did I speak too soon', as Joe gets all dictionary.com on us.
JOE: Look, I think we're going to have to get it really clear what a facility really is, okay? Facility means running water, so ah, dunny. Facility. Shower, facility. Washing machine, facility.
Bree and Rachel just wave him away so they can talk about boys. He storms off with a look of indignation to stop Janelle raiding the fridge.
Bree wants all the goss on Zeke, does he like her or not? Rachel thinks he's totally in love with Bree, the signs are all there… so she kind of told him he loved her. “Eventually I convinced him that he had to be your boyfriend and he had to kiss you.” Bree's gobsmacked, she can't believe Rachel thinks she's so tragic that she needs her to make Zeke love her. She tells Rachel to go away, “You're not my friend anymore.”
Rachel angrily yoinks the book (The Lord Of The Rings) Zeke's reading out of his hands, “Are you happy now? You've just ruined the best friendship I've ever had.” Zeke's torn out of his happy Frodo reverie in confusion and Alex tells her to calm down.
RACHEL: Bree and I were getting along amazingly and now she decides to go and terminate our relationship because of him. Why can't you just like her like you're supposed to?
ZEKE: I do like her.
RACHEL: Like, like her.
ZEKE: I did my best!
Rachel wants to know why he let Bree kiss him then. Alex woahs this horsey, saying they're too young to be kissing, and tells Zeke not to be so easily led and Rachel that she can't make things turn out the way she wants. He believes honesty is the best policy, “Nothing is more hurtful than lies. The people we care about deserve the truth.” This moment of realisation brought to you by the letters H, Y, P, O, C, R, I, T & E.
Stingray is still fretting about the robbery and is anxious that Dylan could be identified on the security camera. Dylan reckons his disguise would have kept him safe. “Don't worry, I'll burn this [his clothes],” he adds, stripping off the jacket and hat and depositing them into a handily placed bonfire container right in front of him. What are the odds, ay?
The One And Only Classroom
Susan eye rolls at her visitor, Karl. He's there because he can't stand to see Alex deceive her any longer. Susan tells him to build a bridge, she's happy so why can't he just play nice and be happy for her too?
KARL: Your happiness is so important to me that I'm prepared to stand here and break my Hippocratic oath.
SUSAN: What? What are you talking about?
KARL: Alex does not have the flu he has lymphoma.
(Susan is shocked)
KARL: It's a form of cancer.
SUSAN: … I know what it is. If he were being treated for that I would know.
KARL: He's not being treated.
SUSAN: (scoffs) Oh, it's one of those rare forms that just goes away by itself does it?
KARL: No, it's one of those rare forms that can't be cured. He's dying Susan.
He moves to hug a shell-shocked and tearful Suse but she pushes him away, telling him to go away and leave her alone.
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Janelle is feeding her, and Harvey's, face with potato chips whilst lying on the couch watching TV. She leaps up and hides all the evidence when Lyn, Oscar and Joe get home, pretending she was still studying. Joe says he should get Lyn to test her but she says there's no need, making a quick escape back to the bus.
Lyn supposes that she has to put up with Joe moaning about the Timminses for the next hour, but Joe's got other ideas.
JOE: No, no, no. You're going to be spending it being waited on by your own live-in piece of spunky-crumpet.
(Sky walks in the back door)
SKY: Oh, do you mind?
JOE: G'day gorgeous.
SKY: Hi, you guys haven't seen my spunky piece of crumpet have you?
JOE: No, but he'll be through here in a minute, charging through like the rest of them like it's Flinders Street.
(Knock at the door – Joe gives her a pointed look)
Dylan's just in to “use the facilities” (he probably wants to break dance in the lounge room or something knowing the Timminses definitions). Sky bounds up to him and cheekily says he looks like he's up to something or he's done something. Yes, armed robbery. Isn't that super! She eventually thinks he's just planned something for Year 12 muck-up day and it's left at that.
Zeke and Rachel lament that they tapped on the bus door to get Bree's attention for ages but she doesn't want to talk to them. Alex tells them to just let her sleep on it.
Susan walks in looking worn out and tries to make small talk but Alex suggests that the kids go to the GS (yes, that's where all the cool kids hang out, yo) for dinner. They think their dad and Susan are fighting but they just say they want some alone time. The kids walk out and Susan turns her face away, trying not to cry. “There's something I have to tell you,” Alex begins. The number one line you do not want to hear if you live in soap-land. Right up there with, ‘We've got the rest of our lives to be together!' and ‘I'll see you after my three-month cruise!'
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Joe's suggesting pranks to Sky and Dylan, one being a “cow in the classroom!” Janelle waltzes in as they're all cooking dinner, wanting to use the microwave to heat up the baked beans the Timminses are eating because the fuse on her stove is ‘playing up'. She creates more and more sob stories until she eventually scores an invite for her and the kids to stay for tea. She whistles them in and goes off to annoy Joe further while he watches the news.
Stingray, looking like a scared mouse, whispers to Dylan, “This better not be our 15 minutes of fame, man.”
Alex is talking to Susan about his illness. He says he always wanted to be someone who stood out from a crowd. “Well I've been granted my wish, haven't I? I belong to the two percent of people who can't be treated for this type of lymphoma. I'm practically unique.” Susan gives him an intense look and goes over to her laptop on the table. He tells her there's nothing they can do but she replies she's not throwing in the towel.
SUSAN: (determinedly) You are not leaving me and you are not leaving your children.
Rachel and Zeke sit down to dinner and try to figure out what's up with their dad and Susan. Karl walks in and places an order, causing light bulbs to simultaneously go off over their heads. Everything started to go wrong when Karl met their dad states Zeke. “A love triangle!” Rachel exclaims, “Maybe he's trying to win back Susan?”
Professor Zeke ain't going to stand by and let that happen. He strides over and demands Karl not steal Susan away from them, in the politest way known to man. He looks 12 buts acts the number on his shirt (thirty-five). Karl assures them he wants Susan to be happy and that her and their dad probably just needed some time to talk adult stuff. “Susan wouldn't allow herself to be stolen. She loves you two and your father very much.” The kidlets seem happy enough with that.
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Dylan nudges Stinger's leg to stop him from fidgeting as everyone watches the local news on the telly. A news item comes up about the robbery at the service station (with yesterday's exact date on the security footage, I love that) and the two Timmins boys couldn't be more obvious than if they were wearing neon signs saying, ‘It was DYLAN!'
JOE: How are you supposed to identify him? You can't even see his face.
JANELLE: You don't have to. If you know someone well enough you can tell by their body language and that.
Stingray races into the kitchen with Dylan following him on the pretence of getting some juice. Stinger freaks out that someone is going to come over after recognizing Dylan but Dyl tells him to chill, if their own mum can't tell it's him they should be safe. The only thing that'll do them in is a guilty conscience so he wants Stingray to calm down. Stinger apologises for getting his bro into this mess but Dylan thinks he's the one that should be sorry. “It'll be right, we'll just have to keep our heads down.”
Alex crouches down next to Susan and gently says there's no miracle cure. Susan won't hear of it and says you always hear about new cures and that happening overseas, she'll even mortgage the house to finance trips and things.
ALEX: I have an incurable disease. One that will kill me.
(Susan starts to sob)
ALEX: (starts to cry himself) And soon.
SUSAN: How soon?
SUSAN: I've only just found you.
ALEX: I know.
They let all their tears out.
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Everyone is sitting down for dinner when Janelle comments that Stingray looks shifty. Dylan jumps in and says he's had a crook stomach for a while. Janelle senses an opportunity and, after diagnosing a quiet Bree with the same sickness, she then starts to feel ‘woozy' herself. How ever will they cope on that dank, cold bus with their illnesses? Lynnie relents and says they can stay inside the night, but before Janelle can do the dance of, ‘Ha! Eat that, Mangel!' for too long, Joe reminds her that having sick people around Oscar isn't a good idea and she tells Janelle that they can't stay after all.
Janelle vents to Bree that she's losing her conniving touch and that she should have jumped in when she saw she was floundering.
BREE: It's not my fault Joe's smarter than you.
(Janelle glares at her)
BREE: And when I say smarter I mean sneakier.
(Still not working)
BREE: Actually, nah, you'll still win.
Janelle says the one good thing about her lapse is that Joe has been lulled into a false sense of security now; all the better for her to strike when he least expects it. She does an excited shimmy down the aisle before taking a leaf out of Rachel's book (hee, pun fun) and yoinking the novel Bree's reading out of her hands. “Why are you back in the books with so much gusto, missy?” Bree says because they don't treat her like a charity case. Janelle just shrugs her shoulders and walks off, her care factor set at zero.
Outside the Bus
Sky, Dylan and Stingray are walking down the driveway.
SKY: Aw come on! Tell me! I'm your girlfriend (looks at Stingray) and your girlfriend-in-law, and I'm entitled to some pre-muck-up warning.
She doesn't get a response though so heads home. Stinger says that maybe Dylan won't be identified after all but Dylan has now stepped over to the gloomy side. He says that Roo's aim was to set him up. If it didn't work this time there's always a next time.
Lynnie's ‘Facility' Lair
Joe is hilariously trying to teach Ozzy how to say ‘bogan', which he almost does chuckle out a few times. Hehe. Lynnie tells him to stop it, they're good kids and Janelle means well. She feels guilty for sending them back to the bus when they're sick but Joe says that if they've really got a bug that's an even better reason to keep away from them. “They're tough kids, they'll be fine.”
Susan's not feeling like such a tough kid though. She dries her tears as Alex walks out of the bedroom with a packed bag. He says he'll just pick the children up and head home for the night; Susan probably needs some space.
SUSAN: Is that the sort of person you think I am?
ALEX: No, it's more to do with the person I am.
SUSAN: Alex, packing up and leaving is not the next logical step.
ALEX: I've been lying to you for a long time, Susan.
SUSAN: You had so much to get your head around I'd never hold that against you.
ALEX: No. Obviously you haven't been doing your sums… My marriage proposal.
(Susan gets a look of realisation)
SUSAN: You'd already been diagnosed?
SUSAN: (trying to convince herself) Well you were in denial, who wouldn't be? You wanted to carry on as normal as if nothing had happened.
ALEX: No, I was thinking very clearly and I knew exactly what I was doing when I asked you to marry me.
SUSAN: What was that exactly?
ALEX: I wasn't only seeing you as a future wife; I was seeing you as a mother for my children.