Serena and Connor having to share a hotel room
Alex telling Susan he's transferring Rachel and Zeke
Bree making a friend in Rachel
Rachel is over eating pizza in front of the TV with the Timmins clan, minus Janae, absolutely revelling in the new experience. They're trying to think of ways to upset Go-Go's apple cart and get back at her, seeing as she made some prank calls to their delivery line the other day to sabotage them.
Alex swings by to pick up his daughter and judging by the look on his face he thinks he's accidentally stumbled upon feeding time at the zoo. He calls out to Rachel and reminds her they've got tickets to the theatre, beating a hasty retreat as Dylan and Stingray fight over the last piece of pizza like cheetahs to a deer carcass.
“She fancies him?” cries out Lil, startling Joe and Sky who are reading the paper on the couch. David and Harold cringe at Lil's new knowledge of Serena's crush on Connor. She can't believe no one told her but David assures her he had a “very stern chat” with Mr O'Neill and that nothing untoward will happen. He's a father and Serena's employer; therefore they have nought to worry about. Pfft.
Joe sees this pfft and raises me a ‘whatever!'
JOE: Aw come off the grass, Davo. Connor and Serena are hot for each other like a pair of bilbies in the wet season!
Lil thwaps her hubby across the chest in ‘I told you so' annoyance.
(It looks like there's giant peas out the front as decorations…).
Serena takes it upon herself to move from her side of the bed and drape her arm around Connor in her “sleep”. Connor's about ready to freak out when the phone rings – get ready to freak out some more, bucko. It's the mad father on the line; and he's surprised to find out Connor's in his daughter's room. “I didn't touch her I swear!” Connor yelps.
Lil leaps on the bench behind Dave to listen and Serena jumps on the phone. She tells her dad they couldn't find another room at such short notice (“Oh yeah, that sounds very convenient,” comments Dave, vocalising the plot contrivance) and how Connor is sleeping on the floor. With no more than a ‘K, bye!' she's hung up leaving Lil and Dave feeling worried.
Serena apologises to Connor, her dad can be a little overprotective sometimes. “You think?!” he replies fearfully, wishing he had his green Shamrock undies with him; he may be needing a new pair sometime soon…
Scummins' – Dylan & Stingray's Room
Dylan is trying to get some shut eye but keeps getting woken up by Stinger, who initially drums his fingers on the headboard then plays what sounds like a banjo – obviously practicing for the first ever Erinsborough hoedown. Yee-hah.
Stingray's just thinking too much about how he's all alone right now. Serena's got a thing for Connor, Dylan's got Sky and Stinger's only got his invisible banjo. Dylan assures him he'll find someone soon (my bet? It'll be Stinger's next big storyline). Stinger reckons he'll have better luck finding a chick if he stops talking like one, also picking on his bro for being so lovey-dovey. Dylan drags him down to the bottom bunk for a stern talking to before getting interrupted by a Sky-shaped person climbing through the window.
She's come to see if Dylan wants to go and check out the late night Nightmare On Elm Street film fest with her. Dylan's all for it and even invites Stinger along which surprises him. The love bug has bitten him real bad. The fictional love bug that is, cause the mental image of Herbie biting Dylan on the tush is quite odd.
Hotel Room Of Feeeelings, Nothing More Than Feeeelings…
Serena, wearing a ‘Pebbles from the Flintstones' patterned nightdress, and Connor, wearing grandpa pj's buttoned up to his eyes, are perched on the end of the bed. Serena has just told him the whole Chris Cousens story, thus explaining why Dave is so overprotective of her.
Connor replies he would never take advantage of her like that but Serena knows he wouldn't. She also feels bad about playing her parents off one another to get what she wants and how they're probably still awake worrying about her. Connor puts his arm around her and tells her not to be so hard on herself. Things get more interesting when he brushes her hair away, saying he's glad she came along to the shoot. Serena beams and they almost kiss but Connor gets cold feet at the last minute (leaving Serena looking like she's about to bite his nose).
SERENA: I'm not.
Hotel Room Of Nose-Biters
Connor reminds Serena how they've got nothing in common and that he made David a promise but Serena scoffs that if her dad had his way she'd be locked in a tower for the rest of her life (righto, Rapunzel). Connor says he's going to go to the bar to let her have some alone time but Serena says she'll be fine. They'll just have to settle on being friends. Yes, I can see that lasting. Yes indeedy. Connor suggests they order in some room service.
Also? I want to know how Serena's hair is so perfect after being asleep – and how she's getting shut-eye with disco earrings on. TV sleep is great.
Scummins' – Morning
Janelle rips into Dylan and Stinger for looking like death warmed up – she's on to their late night outing and doesn't care how tired they are, they've still got to make their morning deliveries.
Bree wanders in as Janelle answers the phone, telling the boys about how her new best friend Rachel is being picked on. She wants Dylan to put the fear of God into the bullies but he won't do it. The boys escape from the kitchen before Janelle can get on to them – Stinger stage whispers to Bree to keep at Dylan, he's become a soft-serve ever since he fell in lurve.
All the Bishop/Mangel tribe are eating brekkie when Serena and Connor get back. Dave pounces on them, telling Connor he's got some nerve showing his face. Serena gets him to woah-horsey, telling Connor he should go home and she'll call him later. Connor says to Dave that he should have more faith in his daughter.
Serena lets her parents know the overprotective routine has to stop. She appreciates their concern, but seriously dudes, back off!
SERENA: Nothing happened between Connor and I even though I wanted it to. He was too honourable.
SERENA: I'm glad you guys are happy about it.
Joe wonders out loud to Max if the interior of the bar is a little too sterile, also commenting on the yuppy dress code and expensive lolly water. Max says his sister was in charge of the interior design, it was well worth it though; the bar's a roaring success. Joe's all, ‘Ahh, the infamous Izzy'. He says Max probably misses her but Max replies that if she's getting herself sorted out she's better off staying away.
Rachel can't find her locker key in her pencil case, causing Bree to launch herself upon it to join in the search like she's lost a nugget of gold or something. She bets that the bullies are responsible and the only solution is to call in the cavalry. Hey, look at that, Dylan, Sky and Stinger just happen to be walking past!
Dylan refuses to help once again but after hearing Sky think it's a good idea to teach the bullies a lesson (non-violently of course), he gets on task sidling up to a bunch of boys. “Okay, which one of you little maggots is the ringleader?” Don't think you'll be getting an answer, Dyl. This is a random extra you're dealing with (one with the most fetching eyebrows this side of Australia). Rachel looks impressed.
The bell rings just as we return from commercial (I'd love to learn like that at school – you'd have two seconds of each class every day!). Rachel and Bree hang back to chat and laugh when they say the same thing.
RACHEL: What's jinx? (Oh Lordy, I know you were home schooled, pet, but did you live in a forest and only interact with squirrels?).
BREE: You can't go yet I've got to teach you so much.
Susan saunters in to wish Rachel good luck before she leaves. Rachel wants to know if she could speak to her dad on her behalf, telling him how much she wants to stay, but Susan thinks it would be better coming straight from the horse's mouth. She leaves them to it after sprinkling them with her wise words, with Rachel claiming she's right, “I'll just tell him what happened today, he'll see sense.” Bree doesn't think so but Rachel believes he'll be happy she's made herself some allies.
Scummins' – Bogan's Tipped Hair Dreamland
Previously on The Bogan's Tipped Hair…
Barbie Janelle: Got all the fellas.
Fabio Paul and Karl ‘Trust me, I'm a doctor' Kennedy: Fought over her.
Cruella De Ville Suse: Turned into a simpering, jealous mess.
* * *
CDVSuse and Barbie Janelle are having a tussle until BJ rips her turban off, causing CDVSuse to cower on the floor in fright. BJ tells her that she's not going to steal the Doc off her; he's the one that was all over her like a rash.
BJ: Guilty. I have inner and outer beauty by the bucket-full. Guilty. I am a terrific mum and winning businesswoman.
CDVSuse: It's all true!
BJ: And well you may wonder how I manage a salon and a nation-wide courier service and still get dinner on the table by seven, but dammit Susan, I'm guilty of that too.
CDVSuse: It's true, it's all true. I am jealous; I'm consuuuuumed by jealousy (hugs her around the waist). But don't hate me, Janelle, all I ever wanted was to be your friend.
BJ: Ah, Suse. You and me we're cut from a different cloth. Top shelf… bargain bin.
Suse has some serious hat hair going on here.
* * *
Bree brings us back into the real world by reading the end of the story over her mum's shoulder and falling into silence. No, she's not about to say how spectacularly bizarre the whole thing is, she's more sad about losing another friend. Janelle knows the solution to this predicament; ice cream and fictional novel editing! The boys arrive home and Janelle gives them some good news. She's been on the phone “legitimately” poaching Go-Go's customers so they've got a boatload of deliveries to do before dinner.
Geez those pie hats are stylish, ‘specially on Dave. Lil's getting some more good ideas since her pie one was such a success. Her and Dave think it'll be ace to give the store a more family-orientated flavour. Harry's concerned that they'll have ‘too many cooks spoil the broth' syndrome but Lil and Dave are too busy devising a new Australian-Serbian menu to care. “Australerbian!” “Serbalalian!” Aw, such lovable dorks.
Meanwhile, Rachel is having a chat with Alex at a table. She tells him that Dylan's help was not of the thuggery kind, and that she's made friends, real ones, not like those pesky squirrels.
RACHEL: I'm learning new things every day. For instance did you know that ‘wicked' sometimes means good, and ‘sick' sometimes means even better?
ALEX: (chuckles) You really like it there don't you.
RACHEL: It's nice to get out of our little bubble and see how things work in the real world. Isn't that the reason you wanted us to go to school in the first place?
Joe and Max are chatting about Max's upcoming fortieth birthday (one solid Hoyland age down, one to go!). Joe teases that he'll be considered over the hill and will be left out to pasture by the wifey, which causes Max concern for a split second.
JOE: Just having you on, Max, don't worry about it! Forty, it's nothing. If you're anything like me you'll be saluting the flagpole for years to come, mate!
MAX: Oh yeah? (Conspiratorially) You know from what she says, you're still flapping around at half-mast.
JOE: (Mortified) Oh no, no. It's that Janelle, mate. She keeps sticking her two bob's worth in. I mean it's no wonder is it that Lyn and I are having… difficulties.
(Max cracks up laughing and Joe realises he's been had)
JOE: Oh you mongrel, Hoyland! That's one all!
MAX & JOE: One all!
Connor can't believe that Serena wants to quit the bikini shop but she says she has to. He says he'll try and keep his feelings hidden; he doesn't want her to leave.
SERENA: Connor, I can't keep working next to you day after day and pretend I don't feel anything. It's better this way.
She leaves before she gets too teary and Connor stands there with a bad case of ‘sad-puppy-itis'.
Dylan and Stinger rush in to get a drink before they finish off the last of the deliveries. Sky's been hanging out to spend time with Dylan though so she offers to take Stinger's shift.
Serena walks in with Sky noting how sad she looks. She offers to stay and chat but Serena says she'll be fine.
Stinger is about to walk out the door when Susan calls him over to her table (has everyone in Erinsborough set up camp in there today? Must be stocking up for the upcoming hoedown). Suse wants to know if he's okay, he's been quiet lately. Stinger replies he's been worried about Sindi. He wants to visit her but doesn't know what to say. Susan suggests he write her a letter and she'll deliver it to Sindi when she visits tomorrow.
Now it's Alex's turn to make an appearance (Yeesh, anyone else? Connor? You want to come and check on Serena now?). He tells Suse that he's decided to keep Rachel and Zeke at Erinsborough High; they seem to like it there. There's also something else he'd like to say…
SUSAN: Yeah, the uh, the bullying. I will have a word to…
ALEX: No, Rachel seems to have sorted that out as well.
SUSAN: Oh good.
ALEX: It's just that… erm… well I was wondering if, uh, well would you like to come out for dinner?
Susan gets a little sneaky grin on her face. Go for it, Suse!