- Connor asking Serena why his private life is so interesting to her.
- Alex telling Susan he is starting Rachel and Zeke at Eden Hills Grammar
- Izzy's dodgy solicitor threatening Paul
Erinsborough High - Corridor
Izzy's singing in the school corri…hang on a sec? What's she doing here? No…wait…it's not Izzy, it's Frankie from the Sleepover Club! Bree comes up to her, and says she must be the weirdo newbie everyone's been talking about. The Frankie-Look-Alike says she's new, yeah – but why is she a weirdo? Bree says she doesn't know yet, but it's good to meet a fellow outcast. She introduces herself, and the Frankie-Look-Alike says her name is Rachel.
Erinsborough High – Classroom
Susan asks Paul if he has a second. She wonders if there is going to be any end to all the drama he seems to attract, as she is beginning to tire of having to defend him to irate parents. Paul says if it is any consolation, he appreciates her support, but Susan is no longer sure he deserves it. Paul points out that Izzy is alive, the cops are off his back – so the irate parents can go back to complaining about ratty sports equipment, the need for a debating team – whatever it is that gets them up in the morning. Susan reminds him they are voicing genuine concerns that she has to take seriously – and she has really had enough.
Liljana is placing a giant mushroom on David's head, already sporting one of her own.
DAVE: I feel like a dill, Lil. A dill!
Connor comes into the general store.
CONNOR: What's with the mushrooms?
Just what I was wondering, Father O'Neill! Lil tells him that they aren't mushrooms. Oh. They are gourmet pies – it was her idea to promote their special of the week, and Harold is very taken by it. Lil is glad, because she has made one for him too! They ask Connor how Sindi is, and Connor tells them she is going to be spending some time in hospital.
LIL: Poor Sindi.
DAVE: Poor Stu.
HAROLD: Poor both of them.
Serena comes into the General Store.
SERENA: Why are you all wearing mushrooms?
LIL, DAVE, HAROLD: They're pies!
SERENA: Oh…of course they are.
Never fear, Lil has made one for Serena too, which she plonks on her noggin.
CONNOR: So. Hello, mushroom lady!
Serena removes her pie hat as Connor says he is glad he bumped into her – he wanted to remind her that the shop is closed tomorrow, as they are having a photo shoot for the new brochure. Serena is stroppy that Connor won't let her go, but he reminds her she has school – so if she really wants to go, she'll have to talk it over with her mother. Lil cackles ‘don't even think about it' before plonking Serena's pie back on her head.
Alex wanders up the corridor, and Susan asks if he is ok. He holds up a lunch bag, saying that Rachel is still getting used to the whole ‘packing of the school bag thing'. He says he is right to find Rachel, but he will see Susan at the parent teacher night that evening. Susan doesn't know why he is going to come if he is still withdrawing the kids from the school, but Alex insists it is their first public schooling experience and he wants to see how she is progressing. He has also noticed that Paul's name is on the list of staff who will be attending the night. Susan says he hasn't been charged and there is no reason to get rid of him. One of the things that has attracted Alex to Eden Hills Grammar, though, is that their faculty is fully screened. Susan firmly says they have a wonderful teaching staff here, and she is glad he is coming tonight, as he can see it for himself and make an informed decision. She also thinks it's a shame to move the kids when they are settling in so well. Alex says he will see her tonight.
Pie-Hat-Lil places a plate in front of Serena, with BBQ sauce, just the way she likes it. Serena asks if it is ‘I've changed my mind' sauce, or ‘I feel guilty so I'm compensating' sauce. Lil says it is ‘I love you, but you're still not going' sauce. Serena groans and says she as put so much work into the store. Lil says she knows, but her first priority has to be school. Serena says ‘hello?' and gestures at her homework, but Lil just ‘hello's back and points out that this is her final year – she should be nose to the grindstone, not cavorting around resorts. Serena says it is a business trip, but Lil says whatever she wants to call it, the answer is still no. Serena asks Lil to think about the experience – business, marketing, budgeting…Lil looks considerate, and says when she puts it like that….No! Lil walks off, and Serena spies poor dorky Dave with his pie hat, and looks menacingly thoughtful.
Erinsborough High – Corridor
Some random extras are playing music, and Rachel is dancing away. One of the extra's (some of you may recognise him as Hamish Cameron – the ‘mummy's a murderer' boy Summer socked one to) comes up to Rachel, and asks what her problem is. Rachel says she is just dancing, and Hamish wonders if she is from the same planet. Susan comes and breaks up the party, sending the boys to play the music outside. She says if Rachel is having any trouble, she can talk to her. Rachel thanks Susan, but isn't quite sure what the problem is. Bree comes up to Rachel and says her sister Janae is going to thank Rachel – until today, she was the girl everyone called Dancing Homer. Rachel doesn't know what's so bad about dancing, but Bree says if she wants to get along there, leave the daggy moves at home.
Serena is trying to con DorkyDave with his Pie Hat into letting her go to the photo shoot. Dave asks what Lil said, and Lil overhears. Dave tells her Serena wants to go to the photo shoot, and he thinks it might be a good idea. Lil gives Serena a look, before agreeing with Dave and saying she can go. She says if he approves, so does she. Serena is very excited, and rushes back to school. Harold points out to David that it wasn't 10 minutes ago Lil was refusing to let Serena go on the shoot, but Dave just shrugs it off, saying she changed her mind. Harold thinks she might have unresolved issues, but Dave says he knows Paul has been getting under her skin and hassling her, but it is ok, because the more Paul does that, the more determined Lil is to stay with him – David sees it as Paul killing any feelings Lil may have left for him, without Dave having to do a thing.
Erinsborough High – Corridor
Rachel is sitting on the stairs reading, when Bree comes and sits next to her, noticing Rachel has a sign stuck to her back with ‘wierdo' written on it. Bree tells her not to worry – the first couple of days are always the hardest, as she discreetly rips the sign off. Bree says the kids that are teasing her are just jealous. Rachel can't understand what they are jealous of, but Bree says it is just something her mum always says. Rachel reveals to Bree that she has never been to a school before – her Mum was a teacher and home-schooled her and her brother Zeke. Bree asked what she does now and Rachel answers that she died a few years back. Her dad took over and it's been just the three of them ever since. Maybe that's why people see her as a wierdo. Bree says not to worry – her whole family are like a pack of wild animals – highly embarrassing. Her advice is that you get your role models from people on TV. Rachel says they don't have a TV. Bree is shocked – Rachel has never seen The OC! Rachel asks if that is a problem. Bree replies that maybe she can give her a crash course, then maybe the other kids won't be so hard on her. Rachel is sure since Susan talked to them that they will leave her alone. Bree points out that she has a lot to learn.
House of Trouser
Serena asks Connor what time he wants her there – Connor doesn't quite know what she is talking about, but she tells him she has permission to go on the trip. Connor says he doesn't need her to come, but Serena says it would be a really good experience. Connor thinks she may be lying to him, and threatens to call her parents, but realises she is telling the truth when she stays calm and tells him to go for it. Connor tries his next tactic – he tells her Amelia is going to be the model for the day. He says if she can't cope with that…but Serena says she will be fine, and she'll see him tomorrow. As Serena leaves, Connor grabs the phone. ‘Hello, Amelia….what are you doing tomorrow…?'
Erinsborough High – Parent Teacher Interviews
The Bishops arrive, and Lil asks Serena which teacher she wants to start with. Serena replies anyone but Paul – she's doing well in his class ad doesn't need to see him. Dave says they want to hear that from the horse's mouth, and Paul is free. They walk up and David asks if he minds if they have a word about Serena. Paul looks mildly surprised, but says ‘sure' and gestures for them to pull up a seat. Paul tells them that Serena is doing fine…but her attitude has been slipping of late.
SERENA: And whose fault's that?
David chastises Serena, and tries to talk her ‘round, while Paul begins to stroke Lil's leg with his own under the table. Lil gives him a look and brushes him away. Paul tells them that the last thing he wanted was for Serena to be affected by…'events'… but the bottom line is, her grades are slipping and she is showing no respect. While he says this, Paul continues to stroke Lil's leg. Suddenly, Lil exclaims ‘do you mind?' and kicks Paul in the leg…only she kicks his prosthetic leg, and it flies off across the room…Lil, Paul and David stare at the leg, as Serena dissolves into fits of giggles. David assures him they will talk about any problems Serena has been having as a family.
PAUL: Well, is there anything else you'd like to discuss…as a family?
DAVID: No, no…we're good. In fact...w...e...we might...mi…uh…(drags a giggling Serena from the table, then looks at Lil, who hasn't taken her eyes off the leg) Sweetheart?
He takes her by the arm and they make a hasty exit, leaving Paul to twiddle his thumbs and figure out how the bejeebers he is going to inconspicuously retrieve his limb…while everyone else looks on in amusement.
Rachel is asking Alex why they can't have a TV, and Alex is giving her all the cons. Rachel thinks they sound interesting, but he gets up as they have to leave for the Parent Teacher Interviews. Bree comes in and says hello, and Rachel introduces her to Alex. They ask if she is going to the P&T interviews, and Bree tells them Janelle has gone Monster Truck racing with the boys so she's off the hook – Janelle can't embarrass her THANK GOOOOOD!
ALEX: Would your mother like to hear you talking about her like that?
BREE: Oh, nah – she's thrilled she doesn't have to sit there all night listening to boring old teachers go on about nothin'.
Bree hands Rachel a piece of paper which she says is their plan of attack – a run down of the last 5 episodes of the OC so she can join in on the conversation at school.
ALEX: What's this ‘OC' thing?
BREE: Only the best show on telly since Charmed!
Bree says if that doesn't work, just tell them she knows Dylan – that'll scare them off. Alex wants to know if someone has been bullying her, but Rachel says it is fine. Alex says if someone is hassling her, he'll talk to the teachers tonight. Bree says that will just make matters worse, and tells him not to worry – they can handle it.
On the other side of the store, Connor is trying to convince Harold that he should convince Lil and David to convince Serena not to come on the shoot. Harold asks why it is such a bad idea, and Connor quickly says that she has school and he doesn't want to be held responsible for her stuffing up her education.
Erinsborough High – P&T interviews
Susan assures Alex Rachel is doing very well in English…although there are a couple of concerns she would like to address. Alex assumes she means the bullying, but Susan thinks that word is a bit extreme – she thought they could talk about Rachel's own behaviour, because it might help. Susan says her openness and lack of inhibition. Alex can't see the problem, but Susan assures him they are great qualities, it is just that the other kids are pretty guarded, and it leaves her vulnerable to teasing. Rachel says that it seems singing and dancing in the corridors isn't the done thing. Susan says it is wonderful that she is such a free spirit, but the other kids may find it a bit unusual. Alex thinks that is their problem, but Susan says she is just trying to suggest ways for Rachel to avoid teasing in the future. Paul comes in the room, and Alex excuses himself from Susan.
Alex introduces himself to Paul, and Paul holds out his hand, but Alex won't shake. Paul assumes there are some questions Alex wants to ask about his past. Alex says he is here for Rachel, to talk about her progress. Paul asks if they are free now, and Susan says she'll come back and finish later, giving Paul her seat. Paul asks how Rachel is settling in, and she says one of the highlights so far has been his lesson on Globalisation. Paul says her contribution to the class was appreciated, and it was nice to hear something that wasn't straight from a Michael Moore doco.
RACHEL: Ahh…who's he?
Harold tells David about his strange connor-versation (sorry…) with Connor before – about not letting Serena go on shoot, almost as if he was trying to avoid her. David clicks suddenly, and Harold says she is very attractive and they have been spending a lot of time together.
David walks over to Connor, and asks if the magazine he is reading is appropriate reading material. Connor says he is researching new bikini lines.
DAVID: Are you romantically interested in my daughter.
CONNOR: No! N…no! Nooo! No I'm not.
David says that's good, because the only reason they are allowing her to go away with him is because they trust him. Connor says he is very trustworthy. David says he is a father like him – he knows how precious a daughter is to her dad. He adds that Serena is to be watched and monitored at all times, be treated with the utmost respect at all times…
DAVID: And you? You keep your thoughts clean, is that clear?
Connor is on the phone trying to find ‘a moderately attractive girl' because their model has pulled out. Serena snipes it's a shame Amelia couldn't do it…Serena gives him the what-for for hiring an amateur model, and Connor says he doesn't take too kindly to being told off by junior staff…but what are they meant to do? They have all the equipment hired, and no models.
SERENA: You're the boss – you work it out.
Paul is on the phone.
PAUL: You've got a hide calling me while I'm at the school.. Yeah of course I have got the money, I just hate handing it over to a maggot like you…You will get your payment next week as arranged. Now just get off my back.
He hangs up and turns around, to find Susan is behind him…
Serena is standing in a robe putting lipstick on, and tells Connor this is the perfect solution. Connor mutters that it is going to get him killed…
CONNOR: Nothing, I'm fine, it's a GREAT plan.
SERENA: Are you ok?
Connor thinks maybe they should reschedule, but Serena says they are already way behind and over-budget. Connor asks what about her Dad? But Serena replies What about her dad? They are just taking professional shots. Connor bends down to the camera, muttering to himself about keeping his thoughts clean, as Serena slips off her robe.
CONNOR: What about a fold out bed? Or a COT?
Seems Connor and Serena are stuck in a room with one double bed, and are unable to get an extra bed. Connor is furious, but Serena says there is a perfectly good bed there…Connor says one bed, two people. Serena says that's all the hotel have, and they both need sleep. Connor doesn't see how it is supposed to work.
SERENA: Well, you can have the right side…and ah, I'll have the left…