Serena quitting the bikini store
Steph making a secret phone call
Rachel telling Bree her mother died a while ago
Alex asking Susan out
Lassiter's Complex – General Store
“Coming up to three minutes,” a young lad says to Rachel. He… Oh, new scene already? Okay.
Susan wonders whether Alex is asking her on a date, and after three years of umming and ahhing he says he is.
“He can be a bit of a ditherer,” Rachel says to the young lad. She'll start to get worried after four minutes. Bree sprints happily up to them.
Meanwhile, in the General Store, Alex is still stammering away nervously.
Rachel introduces Bree to her brother, Zeke, who has been at CHIP camp all week.
BREE: Oh… chip camp… yum?
RACHEL: No, Children of High Intellectual Potential.
BREE: Oh, right… so what's been happening?
Oh nothing much. And by that I mean nada. Zip. Zilch. That Alex sure is a talker.
Bree finds out that Rachel and Zeke's dad is asking Susan out on a “friendly date”.
“Just a friendly date,” Alex reiterates in the store, “no strings attached. But you don't have to call it a date if you don't want to. I mean, dinner is dinner without being a dinner date.” Oh dear, I do believe Suse has gone cross-eyed.
“It's coming up to five minutes,” Zeke says worriedly.
Susan finally shushes the man up and says she's flattered but would like some time to think about it. What? You didn't have enough time to contemplate dinner in the millennium it took him to ask you?
Zeke thinks his dad is going to need some chocolate. Bree asks if he's a compulsive eater, but in fact, Professor Zeke lets us know that chocolate contains a whole bunch of smart-sounding words I can't spell that make you all happy and giddy. This kid is going to be fun to summarise. The Kinski kids hope their dad's okay.
Joe is scraping something off his shoe whilst letting a client on the phone know that he's flat chat at the moment and can't start work for a while yet. Read: He's being lazy. Serena saunters by in the background looking like she's got a bad case of the blues. Joe asks if she's all right and she tells him she just quit Bounce.
SERENA: I feel like crawling up and dying.
JOE: Hey, hey, hey. Dying's easy it's laughing that's hard.
She tells him all her Connor woes and Joe replies that life can be a “cruel mongrel” like that sometimes… only if she lets it be though and stays a woos about it all.
SERENA: You don't know what you're talking about.
JOE: Refuse thy name and deny thy father and if thou wilt not be but sworn.
JOE: It's Romeo and Juliet! Anson's Corner primary school, nineteen seventy… ooh, crikey. I was Juliet! Had a bad wig, tissues down me blouse just like Janelle. Look, the point is, it's your life. There's no point running away.
Steph's making one of her oh so secret phone calls (sounds like an appointment this time) right in the middle of the bar. Good work, Sherlock. Max springs her of course but thinks she's making plans for a surprise party for his 40th. Steph's all, ‘Yes… that is what I am doing. Ha. Ha. You sure caught me.'
Max then tries his psychic charms on Connor, who is also looking pretty blue. Almost Smurfy you could say. He correctly deduces that it's women troubles but incorrectly assumes that, when Connor tells him it's Serena, that she doesn't want a bar of him.
CONNOR: No, she feels exactly the same way. Max, think about it, man. She's seventeen. I'm… older. It's a mathematical impossibility, her and I will never be.
Connor, dude, it's not like you're a decrepit one hundred year old. Also? Nice job on not revealing his real age. Just wait till Sky finds his driver's licence. Max and Steph remind him of the age difference between themselves and how nothing would have happened if they didn't take a risk and go for it. Connor ponders this.
Driveway Of Harry's House
Dave is searching through the glove box for a missing lottery ticket while Lil cleans the outside of the car. They celebrate when it's found but the celebrations are short-lived when a massive whirring noise starts up next door.
(A flurry of leaves fly over them and the car)
DAVID: Robinson! Robinson! ROBINSON!
(The leaf blower stops and Paul pops his head over the fence)
PAUL: Oh, g'day neighbours!
DAVID: What the hell do you think you're doing?
He tells them that he's just trying to keep a tidy town (and his yard is either very high up or he's on some gigantic stilts, cause he's looking gargantuan behind the fence).
DAVID: Why don't you just use that broom Izzy rides around on?
Paul breezily apologises but soon starts up the blower again, spraying David and Lil with more leaves – David's eyes cop a serve of grit as well. Lil tells him not to taunt the monkey.
DAVID: You'd want to watch yourself with those gardening implements, Paul. You of all people can't afford another accident.
They walk back inside and Paul pops his head up again, smirking his patent smirk.
Bree has joined the Kinski's for some cake while Alex chats to Zeke about CHIP camp. They rabbit on about something smart and may I just say well done to Matthew who plays Zeke – ‘Welcome to Neighbours! Here, please memorize these pages from the encyclopaedia.'
Bree wonders if this family speaks English but Alex tells her to join in with her thoughts at any time she likes. Wise Bree gives him some advice about Suse.
BREE: If you really want the full deal you better watch out for Susan's ex. He's trying to score another invite to the party. And mum reckons he's a little D&D.
ALEX: (alarmed) Drunk and disorderly?
BREE: No… desperate and dateless.
Duly noted. Alex then asks who's up for a nice skim milk milkshake. Mmm, how about a nice glass of turnip juice from Shelbyville too? Bree says she'd prefer a coke thanks.
ALEX: Your mother allows it?
BREE: Yeah, she put it in my bottle since I was like one.
ALEX: (laughing in a ‘oh you wacky funster' way) You have a real gift for humour, Bree.
While he's getting the refreshments Bree chats with the Kinski kids about the way they speak with their dad. It's totally different from her house where Janelle is the boss and it's her way or the highway. “Our family's a lot different to yours,” Bree says in the understatement of the year.
Joe winks back at David ‘Blinky Bill' Bishop until Dave lets him know he's still got leaf grit in his eye. Hehe. Lil helps him out and Joe asks who is making all the racket (the leaf blower is still hooning away). “Robinson!” yells Dave, right in Lil's face.
The noise conveniently stops. Serena mopes out to the lounge room where she tells her parents she quit Bounce. They're not too sad; she's got more time for her studies now. She also drops a bombshell – she doesn't want to go to uni, she wants to work in sales. Dave and Lil are freaking out.
Not a good time for Connor to make an appearance, but he still bursts through the door anyway. Lil and Dave think he's responsible for Serena's sudden change of direction. Dave winks madly at Connor causing him some concern, but he soldiers on with what he came to say regardless.
CONNOR: I come over here because I wanted to tell Serena that I love her. And you know what? I don't care about the whole age difference thing.
(Dave and Lil cringe in the background)
CONNOR: Love is love and that's it. What do you think?
(Serena grabs him for a big smooch)
Hang on a sec…. WHAT?! Love?! I thought it was a mad crush of flurrying hormonal proportions. Things sure move fast in soap land. Better get the wedding frock ready.
Anyhoo, the adults all look away from the pashing duo until their attention is drawn to a commotion outside. A stretch-limo-commotion.
The limo pulls up in front of Paul's house just as Max and Steph are walking home, the people in Harry's house wander out to their balcony and Susan is checking her mail. How gloriously convenient!
High-heeled legs burst out of the car. Legs that belong to our long-lost vixen, Izzy. Cue looks of disbelief/astonishment/annoyance from all conveniently scripted neighbours involved. Paul strides down the driveway and welcomes her in an overly happy way, hugging her. Izzy wonders if they've got the nerve to pull this off but Paul reckons they do. She does a little twirl for everyone's benefit and the evil duo make their way inside.
Let the games begin!
Paul & Izzy's
Look at all the snazzy renovations! Lou… ah, Paul's place has never looked better. They do a hesitant catch up of the, ‘How's your leg?' (Fine), ‘How's your life now you have no one but me?' (Peachy keen) kind, whilst Paul pours them some champers.
PAUL: How long are you gonna stay?
IZZY: Depends on how much fun I'm having.
PAUL: Well in that case allow me to be your entertainment officer. (Puts on best host voice – probably not heard since the airline steward days). Welcome aboard S.S. Robinson. May you have a very long and happy cruise. Cheers!
Max is annoyed with his sister and her grand entrance; he can't believe how reckless she's being with everyone's feelings - Karl, Susan, Lil, and David… are you even related to Izzy, Max? Have you in fact even met her? This is what she does!
Steph says they can't save her from herself. She's about to say something else to him when he starts blathering on about inviting Stanno and the boys over for a BBQ now he knows about the surprise birthday plans (that was Steph's original cover for the phone call in the bar). Stanno has plans tonight though apparently.
MAX: All well, we'll just have a quiet one at home, ay? Just the two of us.
STEPH: Yes we will, just the two of us.
She's looking very perturbed though… Is it more angst? I don't think we can cope with any more angst. We want to be Hoyland-angst-free plzkthnx.
Suse is over to have a chinwag about the latest addition to the street.
DAVID: She's the original bad penny, Izzy. She just keeps turning up.
Lil wants to drop the subject though, so Susan brings up her new news – she raises her eyebrows in a cheeky way. Lil at first thinks she means something is going on with Karl but Suse scoffs at that. It is along the same track though… Before Lil can delve any further, David asks where Serena and Connor have gotten to. Probably out buying nappies for their octuplets.
No, they're just walking hand in hand past the shops talking about Connor's impeccable timing when it comes to announcements.
CONNOR: (jokingly) Well I'll take it back if you want.
SERENA: Hey, do you want to take it back?
CONNOR: (pretends to think about it) Um, no.
SERENA: (smiling) Then say it again.
CONNOR: I love you.
SERENA: I love you too.
They have another pash as the twinkly romance music sparkles in the background.
Alex and Zeke are playing chess to wile away time before eating dessert, it's better for the digestive system this way. Oh those kooky Kinskis, they're so madcap. Rachel and Zeke natter on about the finer points of tooth decay while Bree tries not to fall asleep in her cola. “Youse are not normal.”
The Kinski men bolt chivalrously up out of their seats to offer one to the fair maiden Susan, who has just walked in. She joins them and tries to cryptically bring up the “matter” her and Alex were discussing earlier, so as not to hurt the kids. Rachel and Zeke couldn't care less though, they know all about the date and want to know when it's happening. “Sorry, my support crew here get a bit enthusiastic,” Alex apologises. “As you can see, no secrets.” He also suggests the kidlets go for a nice, long, slow, digestive stroll (they're the best kind!) so he and Suse can chat.
Before he can ramble on for all eternity once more, Susan stops him and says she'd be delighted to go on a date with him. “So, where would you like to go?”
Paul & Izzy's
Izzy is getting nicely sloshed on champers as she chats with Paul, asking if he really still loves Lil. “I'll take that as a yes,” she deduces from the silence. “Or you could take it as being wrong,” he replies not very convincingly.
IZZY: You know what we should do? Have a really great big party to rub their noses in it. What do you say?
Paul says he loves her… no, not really. He just smiles and does a thoughtful eyebrow raise.
Ramsay Street – Night Time
Paul and Izzy are greeting their guests at the door, music blaring from the house. Max and Steph take a sticky beak from their front lawn – Max can't believe what's going on but Steph just knows this is a very Izzy thing to do.
MAX: As if they've got enough real friends to fill a phone booth.
MAX: Look at them; card-carrying members of rent-a-crowd.
Bree sits on the couch while Rachel and Zeke… um, I want to say dance but I think ‘moving experimentally in a hippy-like way' is more the phrase here. “Join us!” Zeke chirps in a ‘come and join the mothership, aliens are cool' kind of voice. Bree finds the couch a safer place to be right now but Zeke won't take no for an answer, grabbing her hand and dragging her up. She starts to bust a move when the Kinski kids are suddenly captivated by the TV. Zeke thinks TV makes you stupid and Bree takes offence, but things are soon back on track when he praises her on her recent spelling bee win (he found out through chess club you see). He also says he knows he hasn't known her for that long, but he loves her…
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Dave rips up his lottery ticket in annoyance and notes his disgust at the loud music coming from next door. He wants to call the police but Lil says they won't be able to do anything till after eleven.
Joe skips in with a beer; some nice young shelia passed him one from the spa when he popped his head over the fence. He might just go and join the fun even though he's not invited, heck, he got into Stu and Sindi's wedding party why can't he crash this one? Dave and Lil look annoyed.
Even more so when Connor and Serena arrive back home. Before they can start on them though, Joe butts in and tells them to leave Serena be. Can't they see Connor's already said he loves her and that he's a nice bloke?
CONNOR: I really do love Serena.
SERENA: (beaming) I love you too.
DAVID: (in a sarcastic schmoopy voice) Aww, that's lovely.
Joe tells Dave and Lil to give the happy couple their blessing but Dave's too distracted by the noise from the party to do that. And because he kinda doesn't want to acknowledge his daughter's new relationship right now. Dave, just be thankful he's not related to her, okay?
Paul & Izzy's
The dynamic duo are enjoying themselves immensely until Izzy's lawyer rocks up. He's there to remind Paul that he owes him another stash of cash the next day. Paul's annoyed and Izzy apologises, coming up with a brilliant plan after lawyer man leaves.
IZZY: He can't keep chiselling money out of you if he doesn't have the goods any more, can he?
PAUL: Yes but he does, doesn't he. You gave it to him, remember?
IZZY: And I can take them back.
(He gives her a quizzical look)
IZZY: Well why don't we break in and steal them?
PAUL: Oh, Izzy…
IZZY: I'm serious.
PAUL: You're crazy.
IZZY: Yeah, bit of that too. But you know, the only reason I'm in this house is because you said we would make a good pair. So come on, let's prove it. Let's get you out of this mess.
PAUL: (smirking) You're such a naughty girl, aren't you!