Dave wants to join the Salvos
Stinger is having uniform issues
Aunt Raelene defrocks Connor and his lies
Serena is going quite well making a sale with her pretty, blonde customer until Connor decides to put his boufhead in the mix and suggest that the customer try a micro-kini. The customer and Serena are not impressed. While Blondie is in the change room, Serena gives Connor a piece of her mind. “You're acting like a sleaze. If you don't want her to walk out of here empty handed, let me do my job.”
Stingray delivers a parcel to Sindi, and no, it doesn't contain his dignity because he's already lost that wearing the pink spandex from hell. Sindi is très amused, especially when Stinger tries to flirt with her because it's company policy, “I've got to like wink and stuff and be cheeky.” Unfortunately it comes off as, ‘Egads! I have an eyelash in my eye and gosh is it uncomfy'. After some more laughter from Ms Watts, Stingray makes a hasty retreat but not before Stu sees him, much to Stinger's horror.
Stu lets Sindi know that he's just had a big chat with his mum, which means Aunt Raelene is home. “Oh God!” Sindi whines, “Why didn't someone poison that woman before she got there?” (You're not helping your ‘I'm not a psycho pain-monger' case there, Sin). Turns out there was no need to worry because Stu's mum got the funny bone in the family and saw the humerus (yuk, yuk) side of things.
STU: She agrees with Aunty Raelene that Father O'Neill is definitely going to burn in hell, but apart from that she says for us to have gone to so much trouble then we must really care about each other.
Everything is hunky dory and Sindi can't wait to meet Mrs Parker now.
Harold tries to give some advice to Dave about being a good Salvo but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. Harry lets Lou know the both of them won't be at work in the morning because they'll be on hospital rounds. Dave coyly tells Lou he wants to be a Salvo too. “Aw strewth, I'll be completely surrounded by tambourine-bashers. Will my suffering never end?” jokes Louis. Harold also lets Dave know they're supposed to help out at the homeless shelter that night. David's not impressed; he's got some serious TV watching to do! He soon gives in to become a better Christian though.
Max and Summer walk in for a snack before school. Summer's very anti-Boyd at the moment for what went on with Kayla and the baby; she basically thinks he's being a fruit loop. Max believes Boyd has just confused compassion with love. Harry stops by to take their order and ask about Sum's piano exam, which she says is the next morning. She doesn't want to take it anymore though; she can't leave Erinsborough now when Steph and her dad need her the most.
Paul is sitting in his wheelchair in the corridor minding his own business until Rose Belker comes along to scare the bejeepers out of him. She tells him he should turn his frown upside down then everything will be lovely and all that jazz.
PAUL: (gives her the stink-eye) Go away.
ROSE: No need to be impolite.
Paul lets her know that he's been stuck in that place for quite a while now because he can't steer his wheelchair anywhere and when he does try he gets shooting pains up his back, “so the last thing I need is to be annoyed. By you.” Rose takes this as an invitation to hand him a Jesus poster and tell him that at least someone is looking after him even if he is being Mr Cranky-Pants. Paul just eye-rolls and wonders if he can use the poster to make a paper plane and fly the hell out of there.
Go Go Boys
Go-Go asks Stinger how his deliveries have been going and wants to know if he's been flirting with the customers like she requested (holy heck, there's pink-spandex-clad boys everywhere. They're mutating in an oompa loompa fashion). Stingray says he's not too comfy with acting like a Casanova, it's not him, but Go-Go assures him he's one gorgeous guy and has nothing to worry about. Here commences the totally inappropriate shoulder massaging from boss to employee while Go-Go keeps telling him what a hunk-a-spunk he is. Stingray is confused and a little weirded out.
Serena stops by to show Toadie some plans for the shop but since he's not home she has to contend with a snippy Connor. He demands she show him her ideas folder because he's co-manager and also because he has a chip on his shoulder the size of the universe. Serena tells him about her brilliant advertising plans and her thoughts on expanding their product range. She also lets him know that he should stop drooling over all the customers like a sad weirdo, “purchasing a bikini is a very personal thing for a woman.” Connor's all, ‘oh yeah, so personal they flaunt themselves down the beach ten seconds after buying one.' They snipe at each other some more, having borrowed Paul's cranky pants.
Max and Summer are sulking on the couch while Boyd is at the “hospital” and Steph is “in her room”. In honour of Summer's impending piano exam, this part of the recap shall be done to the tune of ‘Heart and Soul'.
Sum's in a bind
She doesn't want to leave her family behind
She thinks that they need her to staaaaaay theeeeeere
But Max reminds her to be happy, and to do, what she wants, oh yeah
Oh that was awful. Anyway, Summer decides to keep her options open and take the exam because no harm can come from that.
Stingray has stopped by the store too late but offers to help Lou pack things away. Lou thinks that his crinkled brow means Stinger has girl problems but Stinger lets him know they're work crinkles.
STINGRAY: I think my boss is hitting on me. She said I was good enough to eat.
Lou asks if Stinger's keen and he admits Go-Go is hot but she's a bit older, he also doesn't know if he's just getting mixed messages or not. Lou believes the best card he could play right now is the “inexperience of youth” card – he needs to ask Go-Go if she's making a move.
STINGRAY: Cool I can do that, just act really, really dumb.
LOU: No, no, don't be your normal self. Naïve, women love naïve. Brings home the Mrs Robinson in them.
STINGRAY: (thinking he's got it) Paul Robinson's mum, hey, hey!
LOU: (‘no you dolt' tone) No, no, never mind. That one's over your head.
Stinger thanks Lou for his advice and for not being random Lou this week. Lou laughs; I think he's just set the young lad up. The schemer.
Stu and Sindi think Serena's ideas are fabbo, which makes Connor even more annoyed. He believes that her proposals are sexist because they're making guys look like objects (Serena's branching out into garments for the guys). Serena and Sindi are all, ‘Whatever, hypocrite.' Stu quips that it could be payback. Connor finally lets Serena have a few things her way but not to ask for anything more. Serena ain't having none of that though and says she's still going to speak to Toadie.
Stu and Sindi take pleasure in teasing Connor after Serena leaves so he decides to go to bed. Stu randomly asks Sindi if she's been in touch with Byron Wolf (hypnotherapy guy) but she says he's gone to Beijing… for good. Well isn't that a pickle. You know what else it is? A LIE. It's all good though because Sindi's come up with a much better technique that'll get them relaxed reeeeeal good.
If you were expecting the bow-chicka-bow-wow chorus you were sadly mistaken.
We jump ahead ten or so minutes to find the lounge room decked out with candles, Stu is lying on the floor propped up with pillows and Sindi is chanting a soothing mantra behind him. She's all about the clouds and the beach and puppies and fountains spewing forth creamy soda…
SINDI: (airy-fairy voice) There's a beautiful crystal-blue lake, and lapping at its clear water is a beautiful, magnificent white unicorn, and it (looks up to see HUGE spider). YARRRRRHGH!
Stu leaps up through the roof from fright and Sindi clings to his neck for dear life. He doesn't see what's wrong with poor Yorich (the gross spider) but Sindi wants to get the heck out of the lounge room.
General Store – Next Morning
Max looks on as Summer mushes her breakfast into tiny morsels because she's nervous about her exam.
MAX: Ah, you'll be fine. Just take a deep breath before you go in there.
SUMMER: How's that supposed to help?
Oxygen apparently equals Popeye spinach now. Max sidesteps that one and says that her mum will be looking over her.
Harry brings out the lists that have been faxed from the hospital, naming whom he and David are taking care of on their rounds. Lou takes one look at David's list and bursts out laughing. “Oh the Lord works in mysterious ways.” Dave takes the list off him and bulges his eyes, cartoon style. “Paul Robinson?! I have to visit Paul Robinson?!” Oh this will be fun.
David begs Harold to swap lists with him.
DAVID: If I see Paul Robinson I will spit in his face.
Paul has done all these dastardly things to him and Harold knows this, but he thinks that Paul has paid a price for his actions now. He says that the big test David will have to face is whether or not he can forgive his arch-nemesis, “I know you can do it.” David grumbles his way into Paul's room with a bible.
Paul takes one look at his visitor and what he's holding and bursts out laughing.
Stu and Sindi compliment Serena on all the great changes around the shop. Connor glares at her, calling her over when he opens a delivery box filled with board shorts. Serena cleared it with Toadie to bring in more manly stock.
SERENA: You can sell the men's bathers and I can sell the women's. Cannot wait to see your selling techniques with these ones (throws boardies at him).
CONNOR: Woah, woah, little lady! If you think for one minute I'm going to help men into a pair of… budgie smugglers, you've got another thing coming.
SERENA: Business is picking up, you'll have your hands ‘full' in no time.
Connor slaps his face a few times to try and get himself out of the nightmare he thinks he's in. He looks like he's slapping mozzies off his face.
Paul's Hospital Room
Paul and Dave are being very brittle with one another.
PAUL: I don't want you here.
DAVID: Don't want to be here.
PAUL: Then go.
David then tries a different tactic and unconvincingly says he wants to forgive Paul. He brusquely informs him of the nice day outside, saying that he'll wheel Paul around and not let anything he says affect him. The cogs tick over in Paul's brain; I sense a cunning plan afoot. “You're right, yeah, come to think of it I wouldn't mind the feeling of the sun on my face. Let's go.” Uh-oh.
Maxy-boy is waiting for Summer to come back from her exam. Lou stops by to have a chat, he knows things have been tough lately (“Just for a change,” Max comments – understatement of the century) and he just wants to offer his support.
Sum walks in looking very mopey but she's really doing the Joey Tribbiani fake-out of, ‘I didn't go well… YEAH I did!' She thinks she went more than fantastic on her exam but doesn't want to sound too cocky. The results come in soon and then if she's in she'll have to leave pretty much straight away. Sum starts to say she can stay if Max and Steph want her, but Max reminds her they just want her to be happy.
Stinger has worked up enough guts to ask if Go-Go fancies him. Go-Go takes this as an opportunity to get Stingray to do extra delivery jobs as she plays with his mind, making him think she really has the hots for him. Basically, she is a very pervy person but the thought of dating a teen hasn't crossed her mind… I hope. Cause, yuck.
Road Somewhere – near the ‘Hill of Potential Wheelchair Predicaments'
David is wheeling Paul along, looking like he'd rather be in a room full of Stingrays than out here with Satan himself. Paul dares David to let him go down the hill, he knows he wants revenge and what better place seeing as no one is around. David restrains himself but Paul is walking on thin ice when he starts to talk about Lil and how he's going to win her back when he's better. David's head vein pulsates in suppressed rage.
PAUL: (looks down the hill) Go on, Dave. Push me.
We're left with a shot of David holding on to the handles of the chair. I'll bet he's rueing the day he became Daffyd, the only valet in the village.