David suggesting he could get Serena a holiday job
Toadie and Connor having Bounce troubles
Boyd breaking Janae's heart
Stinger joyously celebrates with Janelle, Bree and Lyn about the job interview he has with a bike courier. Bree thinks it sounds heaps better than her pamphlet drop-off job. And Janae? She hoons through the front door and screams like a banshee-woman in Janelle's face. “This is all your fault! Just stay out of my life!” Confusion, thy name is Janelle.
Lou ‘hem-hem's when he sees that Harry is leaving work early, but he's got every right to, it's his Salvation Army declaration day today. Harold wishes Lou would take the Salvos more seriously and Lou says he does, “Any strange cult that stands around in fancy dress, chanting and banging on a drum, I take very seriously.” Harold's all *cough*WhateverGromDobbyHarryPotterGoblinMan*cough*. Lou puts all jokes aside and says that he's thrilled for Harold, as is David, who has made an entrance from the kitchen. Lou asks if he's going to sign up as well but Dave is just being support-man. Lil appears out of nowhere just in time for David to grin goofily at her and invite her along, to which she accepts.
Rejoice, the customers have returned! Connor says business should be good now that Toadie has fixed his sweating problem (cue Toadie drowning himself in deodorant), but Toad reminds him that a couple of phone numbers and a fake holiday doesn't a good business make. “But this is my dreeeeeeam!” Connor whines, asking that Wendy be passed to him. Toad hesitantly passes him a bikini-clad mannequin, “This place is going to go under if we don't do something about it.” Connor hugs Wendy and once again pleads that he keeps his job in bikini heaven. Just a tip, Connor, people ain't going to want to buy bikinis from the creepy store man hugging the doll, m'kay?
Go Go Boys – Bike Courier
Go Go Boys? Oh, Stinger, RUN AWAY, dude. RUN AWAY! He plasters a smile on his face and walks into the office, only to be shushed by the over exuberant boss lady who is speaking on the phone.
BOSS LADY: So I said, I don't care if you came third on Australian Idol, you pay your bills like everyone else (laughs uproariously)
(Cosima De Vito or Courtney Murphy, we know your dirty little secret!). Oh, and Stinger? RUN AWAY! Georgina ‘Go-Go' Riley (Boss Lady) introduces herself to Stingray and shakes his hand for a little too long. She gets him to do a twirl so she can have a look at him, otherwise known as the ‘let me check out your cute behind!' twirl. RUN AWAY! Go-Go says if he can courier a parcel from Anson's Corner to West Waratah in under half an hour, he can have the job. “I'm going to be so quick you won't even have time to miss me!” Stinger grins. Go-Go doubts that very much. Go-Go would get on well with creepy Connor the mannequin hugger. Also, Stingray should really GO GO far away from this place.
The Ramsay Street-ites who are contracted for the day and some random extras have congregated here to celebrate Harold's Salvo declaration. Janelle is having the opposite of a good time, and mixed in with curried egg sandwiches, this is her idea of hell. Susan and Lyn say it's an important day for Harold and it's great she's there to support him. The three witches of Ramsay Street then spot Dave and Lil looking cosy and comment on how well they're getting along now. Some Salvo men walk in and Janelle practically leaps on them. “I love a man in uniform!” (In a galaxy not so far away, Stu has the urge to move to Hawaii, and he doesn't quite know why).
Serena gloats to Harold that she knew her mum and dad were meant to be together. We see Dave and Lil laughing at some private joke but Harold doesn't look too happy, or sound happy if his patent “Arrr” is anything to go by.
Go Go Boys
Stingray makes it back in time with 45 seconds to spare. Go-Go knew he was a Go Go boy when she laid (inappropriate) eyes on him. She tells him he's got the job and a very sweaty Stinger celebrates (perhaps he made a stop-off at Bounce?). Go-Go passes him the “tools of the trade”: CV radio, documents and his uniform. She welcomes him aboard with a handshake and a sleazy “Oooh” noise at how strong he is. That's a No No Go-Go.
Everyone looks on as Harold makes a speech.
HAROLD: My faith has been tested many times. Oh dear, when my dear wife Madge passed away I thought that I'd lost all hope. Then after my stroke I discovered aspects of my personality, well, some of them were good but a lot of them were left open for improvement. It was then that I renounced the Salvation Army and all its good work. And as I slowly recovered I discovered that yes, its absence had left a huge hole in my life. But you see, you people, you're very good people at the Salvation Army. You offered me nothing but hope and love, and you didn't judge me leaving you, you only rejoiced in my returning and I shall be forever grateful for that. And I can promise you that as from today I will never ever stray again.
He opens a bit of paper and reads out the soldier's pledge. Harry's back in the gang! Everyone claps and cheers. Dave chooses this moment to ask Lil out for dinner and she accepts.
Bree and Janelle are laughing at something; I wonder what it could be.
Oh. Good. Lord.
Stingray is wearing the worst uniform in the world. A pink tank top with ‘I'm A Go Go Boy!' on the front and matching pink Lycra shorts. He looks like a musk stick. “Thorpey wears it all the time,” he says, trying to make himself feel better. Lyn has a giggle at him in the background.
JANELLE: I mean the shorts are bad enough but do you really want people to think you're a pole dancer?!
STINGRAY: It's a play on words, mum… People aren't really going to think I'm a go-go boy for real are they?
BREE: Not in that pretty pink they won't!
He gets annoyed with them and they apologise, saying they're proud. Bree suggests they could even have a pride march down the street seeing as Stingray's already dressed for it.
LYN: I could lend you my lady shaver if you like, love.
Stingray wants to crawl into a hole and freaks out about Boyd seeing him and making fun of him. Janae, who has conveniently entered the room, yells at her brother for daring to speak of Boyd's name in her presence. Stinger wants to know when Janae's going to stop grumbling and get herself a job. Janelle says to go easy on her, “it's not every day a girl finds out her brother has got such a cute little bottom!” pinching his tushie for good measure.
Toadie and Connor are having a crisis meeting about Bounce. Connor thinks a calendar shoot would be a great idea but that's nixed because it would be too expensive. Other great Connor ideas include: a date with staff and a free massage with every purchase. Toadie shakes his head and vetoes them, filing the ideas away under ‘Perves: Things that will make us look like one'.
Max brims with happiness over baby Ashley to Susan and Lil, who are in having a drink. He then asks, “How'd the Harold's testimonial go?” (He speak England good'n stuff). Susan says the Harold's testimonial went smashingly.
Suse and Lil then have a girl chat and Lil says she's making really good progress with David, which is nice. Suse makes the, ‘Dish, girlfriend!' face and Lil adds that she just wants to take things slow – they've got a dinner date that night (that's slow?). She giggles that she's nervous.
LIL: Oh God, I'm an idiot.
SUSAN: Yeah, no arguments from me!
Connor and Toad are still pondering on what to do when Connor thinks up the most brilliant idea on the face of the planet. “The Miss Erinsborough beauty pageant!” of which they'll be the judges of. They high-five to their rampant libidos.
Lynnie, Janelle and the kids are sitting down to dinner, minus Dylan. Bree comments that he and Sky must be getting closer. Janae takes offence at this, “Oh, unlike me and Boyd you mean? At least I've been with boys before.” Janelle tells them to stop sniping and Stingray can't believe how unfair she is, she didn't stop the teasing of him before. “If you've got it, Scotty, flaunt it,” Bree smirks.
STINGRAY: What? You really think I've got *it* to flaunt?
JANELLE: Just don't let the circulation stop to the vital areas.
STINGRAY: (grossed out) Aw thanks, mum!
Lyn tells him if he's got a problem with his uniform he should say something to his boss. Janelle tries to make a joke with Janae but she'll be having none of it.
JANELLE: Oh, Janae, please. Can you wipe that cat's bum expression off your dial; it's giving me hives!
Janae walks out and Lyn reiterates to Stinger that he should just quit if the uniform is making him that uncomfortable; it's not worth the hassle. Bree says he shouldn't have to go through with it; they should just use her winnings. Stinger gives her a cuddle and says he won't use the money; he'll just have to put up with the jokes for a while.
Janelle is trying to give Janae the ‘plenty more fish in the sea' pep talk but it's not quite working, especially when she insinuates Boyd is a few sandwiches short of a picnic because half his brain is missing! Janae (say it with me) storms out.
David and Lil are enjoying dinner and talking about Dave's new interest in joining the Salvos. Lil says he's a good man, which makes him smile. He believes he could be a better one though. Like Robbie Williams perhaps? *Breaks into Better Man song*
Janae is trying to sneak out in her party clothes but Janelle switches on a lamp and springs her. Janae says her mum can't stop her and Janelle agrees, but she wants her to know that she's been hurt like her before and wants her to learn from “her stupid mum's mistakes”.
JANELLE: Who was that girl the other day that was whinging about being treated like just a pretty face?
JANAE: If you've got it flaunt it, right?
JANELLE: If it's the right boy you won't need to flaunt anything. You'll know.
Janae starts to rant and rave and tries to leave but Janelle stops her, pulling her into a hug and letting Janae sob her lil heart out.
Connor and Toadie are still going on about the beauty pageant while Max and Martin stack chairs in the background. Max calls out for last drinks and suggests that if Connor wants to keep his job there he take his other business meeting outside. “Time please, Dave,” Max barks in David's general direction.
Lil puts her hand over Dave's mouth and stops him from retorting some comment (I think he was going to say bite me, hehe). They agree that they had a nice time and David shyly asks if he can walk her home since they're both going the same way and all. Lil says that'd be peachy keen, it's a nice night. “It just got nicer,” David beams. Look at you Mr Smooth! You are taking notes from Mr Robbie Williams then, ay? Hookin' up with the laydeez…
Bounce – Next Morning
Toad (wearing the hat and glasses from the Two-Piece-Toadie sequence) and Connor (cuddling another mannequin, the hussy) are sitting in the shop front window, pondering some more about their business.
TOADIE: You know this fantasy world that we're living in? Outside of a B-grade sex romp movie, what do you think our chances are?
Serena walks in and rolls her eyes at the lame boys. They're trying to think of reasons why the beauty pageant idea is going to help them out, besides the fact that they'd hone in on their ogling skills. Serena takes one look at the ‘bargain bin' and turns her nose up. “Firstly, you've got your two-pieces mixed in with your one-pieces, and I looked for a halter-neck and all I could find was a g-string.” Connor snips back that he hasn't had a chance to organize things yet la le la. Yep, you guessed it, Toad offers Serena a job there and she accepts. Connor isn't too keen though; she'll be stomping all over his dream!
Lou and David chat about Dave's dinner with Lil the night before and how close they are now. Harry calls Lou into the kitchen before he can get Dave's hopes up any more.
Toadie and Susan saunter in, chatting about Darcy's case. Toad thinks if can highlight the absurdity of the court trying to convict a man of a crime he can't even remember, he thinks he can get Darcy off. Susan's relieved, she's always thought there was something dodgy about the case and wonders what his motive would have been. Toad resists the urge to roll his eyes so far around his head that he looks like an old-fashioned pokie machine (Liberty bell! Liberty bell! Cherry? Doh!).
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Harold doesn't think Lou should get David's hopes up like he was. Lou replies that David is a big boy and he'll cope with whatever comes his way.
Go Go Boys
Stinger, dressed as the pink Lycra gym instructor, is telling Go-Go how uncomfortable he feels in his spandex wear, especially with all the chafing!
STINGRAY: It's getting really bad. I mean it can't be too healthy for me (points) down there. I think it's the breathin'. I mean I have had trouble with unnatural fibres before. That's pretty much it; the laughin', the chafin' and the breathin'.
Go-Go doesn't see any problem with it though, she thinks he's lookin' fiiiiine. She gives him another parcel to deliver and sends him on his merry way, checking out his butt as he leaves. Ew. You're like twenty million years older than him, lady. Just, ew.
Lil and David have another chat about how great last night's dinner was AND WOULD YOU TWO JUST HAVE A SNOG ALREADY?!
They sit down and say how nice it is not to have that tension between them anymore, and the anvils drop down as David clears his throat to create a little of it. “The last thing I want to do is put you under pressure about our marriage, but I want you to know that our door will always be open to you. Because I know we've still got a lot to work through you and me, but surely there's a lot better chance of getting our family back together if we do it under the same roof. So come back home, Lil, where you belong. What do you say?” Lil just smiles weakly. She can't say anything till next week, but I don't think Dave's going to like it anyway.