- Lyn giving Bobby a piece of her mind
- Izzy begging Max not to sack Bobby
Izzy pleads with Max not to get rid of their dad; she believes that he wasn't causing Summer any harm by lending her the phone. Max doesn't see it that way and thinks Bobby's having a bad influence on her. “Izzy wake up. Are you so desperate for him to hang around you're going to put up with any shabby behaviour?” Izzy says she'll do whatever it takes to make her dad stay with them. I guess she won't mind him billing the German cabin of lurve to the Scarlet Bar then?
Janelle is telling Suse about her plans to buy a new car. She wants one because she's decided to drive Suse and Bree to the spelling bee competition (now that'll be a nice car trip – Bree will get carsick and mumsick).
Lynnie bursts through the door and is mortified to see she has company when her face is still tearstained. The girls drag her to the table to get some info out of her. Lynnie cries that she's not the person they think she is. “I've been having a secret affair… with Bobby Hoyland.” Janelle and Susan look shocked in a guilty way.
Connor and Toadie are intertwined in some wrestling move when Stu walks in. “Every day you two reach new heights of intimacy.” He sits down to read the Erinsborough News (aka the front page wrapped around the Herald Sun) while Toadie and Connor (who is sniffing and licking Toadie's hair?) ask him about having a buck's night. Stu's adamant he can't have one because he needs to remain a reputable policeman but Connor pulls some wrestling moves on him to try and change his mind. Stu decides that whatever they organize off their own bat will be fine. The boys are cheered; this means beer, a cake with an all-girl filling and rock'n'roll. Stu reminds them Sindi can't find out. Which of course means she will.
Lyn can't believe she fell for the Bobby Hoyland charm. The ladies call him quite a few choice names, him being the womaniser he is. “Don't be too hard on yourself,” Susan assures her, “the man has a very persuasive tongue… so I've heard.” Lyn whimpers that Bobby has such a youthful charm about him and tells the girls that he makes a point of seeing the sun rise once every month.
LYN: He says it…
ALL THE LAYDEEZ: … Keeps him young.
Woah. Awkward. They realise that the “dirty dog” sweet-talked all of them. Janelle laughs, she can't believe they fell for the routine. Sure, she had a bit of fun, but she always reminded him she was a married woman and nothing could happen. “Susan?” Lyn hesitantly asks, almost knowing the answer. Susan looks bewildered while Janelle laughs merrily.
Karl has found a new #1 nemesis to spar with: Bobby Hoyland. They cross swords in the store and get up in each other's faces. Bobby thinks that Karl is jealous of his fling with Susan but Karl says he's not her husband anymore. “That's right, so why do you care?” Bobby challenges. He adds that he would hate to think that Karl has been stringing his daughter along all this time.
KARL: (laughs) That is very good coming from the eternal adolescent.
KARL: Bobby please spare me the protective dad routine, it doesn't ring true. Bit like yourself really.
Looks like Karl has been to Suse's School of Lines That Zing! (I think poor Fletch had a cold whilst filming this scene, too).
Janelle brings out the reinforcements – ice cream – while they assess the information. Susan reassures Lyn that it was a one-off thing and that she had no idea that Lyn was involved with Bobby as well. Janelle tells them that it's not worth sacrificing their friendship over some twerp. “Think of your life coaching, we're going to take this anger and put it to good use.”
LYN: How are we going to do that?
JANELLE: By teaching that two-timing sleaze bucket a lesson he won't forget.
Max and Izzy corner Bobby into the office to have a serious chat. Well, Izzy is there to make sure that her dad doesn't do a runner. Max lets his dad know he's on to the phone scheme with Summer and that he doesn't approve. Bobby pulls the, ‘Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, might as well go eat worms' approach and says he may as well leave since he's only causing trouble. Izzy immediately freaks out and says they should just talk this through. Max agrees, he doesn't want his dad to leave; he wants to see if he has “the guts to stick around and sort something out for once.”
Max wants Bobby to let Summer know that deception is not the way to solve things. Bobby agrees and Max leaves to start the chat with Summer, which he expects his dad to follow up. Izzy is relieved that the crisis is over and gives her dad a hug.
Toadie and Connor throw chips into each other's mouths while Sindi and Stu walk in with wedding plans on the mind. Sindi is wearing a necklace that looks like it's made out of the safety rails they have in the pool to mark the lanes. Jazzy. Stu wants to know if Sindi's planning a hen's night but Sindi's only thinking maybe a few drinks with Izzy and the rest of the girls at work.
SINDI: Honey, why would I want to go out with a bunch of drunken, screaming women, and leer at oiled-up men and get a jockstrap thrown in my face?
TOADIE: Welcome to my world, yeah!
CONNOR: Welcome to his world.
Sindi asks if the boys were going to have a buck's night. Stu vehemently denies this notion. Toadie and Connor throw chips into each other's eyeballs now while Sindi says how pleased she is that they're “soulies” on decisions like that.
SINDI: Now getting back to this list. I've got a Reverend William Adderly, but he had a bit of a lisp (she says with a lisp, hehe) and that could be a problem.
Max and Summer are having a lovely father/daughter chat where Max lets his daughter know that he's disappointed in her for using Bobby's phone. He tells her that he wants her to pay for all the phone calls she made on the mobile out of her allowance, just as Bobby walks in. Summer's outraged.
Max leaves for Bobby to have his chat, and to pick up Steph from work. Bobby's chat involves muttering something about how lying is wrong and stuff before spying something behind Sum's ear – hey, it's a fifty-dollar note! I got to learn me this nifty trick. He tells her to put it towards the phone bill for which she's grateful.
Scarlet Bar – Scummins'
Izzy is busily lap-topping at a table when Karl comes in to see her. She tells him what happened between Bobby and Max earlier but Karl thinks it wouldn't have hurt for Bobby to hear some home truths. Izzy snidely replies that they should invite him over for dinner, just as he walks in the door. How spectacularly convenient.
Karl keeps his cool and says to Bobby they were thinking about inviting him over for dinner. “Tonight?” Izzy quickly bumps in. Bobby says he'd love to just as his mobile rings.
“Hello, Bobby. It's me,” a voice breathily rings out.
Bobby's confused. Which one of my many hundreds of lady friends is this?
“It's Janelle you big bozo,” she bogans, causing Susan and Lyn to smirk. She lets him know she's only wearing a skimpy negligee and that she's all alone (blatantly lying through her teeth), which perks up Bobby's… interest. Janelle wants him to come around and “ring my bell”. Bobby says he'll have to get back to her asap.
Susan and Lyn swarm at her when she hangs up with a combined vocal, “Didhefallforit?” Janelle says he sounded kind of distracted but Susan thinks that doesn't mean anything. “He'll come around, he won't be able to help himself.” Janelle wonders where she can dump her kids for the night.
(Judging from the quick edit I thought we'd see the Timmins clan bouncing off the walls here, but alas, I was wrong, for that would interrupt the intimate heart to heart the boys are having…).
Toadie is telling Connor how close he felt to Eva when they were a tag team. It was like them against the rest of the world.
TOADIE: Tagging really is a special bond. That's why you've got to do it with someone you know and trust. Like Eva, or y'know, your best mate, you.
CONNOR: (touched) That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.
TOADIE: It's just the two of us now, mate.
CONNOR: Yeah, well you can rely on me, okay? Through thick and thin, I'll be there.
TOADIE: Thanks bro.
They then display their affection towards one another by beating each other up, complete with swooshy sound effects. Good-o. They're just like a violent Bert and Ernie they are.
Karl & Izzy's Flat
Bobby fakes his way through a stomachache after the entree so he can be on time for his booty call with Janelle. He rushes out leaving Izzy a little disappointed. She says that Karl could have helped, being a doctor and all. He replies he didn't have to; he already diagnosed a severe case of bigfatfakeritis. Izzy says she's sick of his jealously towards her dad but he thinks she should follow Bobby to see if he had a better offer or not. “I'm not spying on my dad,” she says, glaring. Why not, Izz? You're not the official Spy School ringleader for nothing.
Janelle, wearing a blue negligee complete with feathers, and Bobby, sans some clothing, are lounging around on the couch while the honky tonk music plays in the background. Bobby kisses his way up her shoulder while she shoves some fruit in his mouth, “Have a strawb.” He goes to kiss her but she decides to belch up the “fancy French fizz” they drank before. What a charmer. Bobby is repulsed, but only for a second; nothing will stop him from popping his cork tonight. Janelle asks him to fetch a glass of water for her. “Sure,” he sexily growls, prancing about like he's Austin Powers or something else cringe worthy.
As he saunters into the kitchen he nearly hits the floor when Susan springs up from behind the fridge door. “Still or sparkling?” she enquires sweetly. Lyn leaps up from behind the bench. “Need a glass?” she chirps. Honky tonk music go bye bye. Janelle makes her way in behind everyone. They apologise to Janelle for interrupting.
LYN: Let me tell you Janelle you're not missing out on a thing.
JANELLE: Yeah I figured that when he dropped his dacks.
BOBBY: Hey, hey, excuse me. I don't remember any complaints. From either of you.
LYN: Well let me tell you now Peter Pan, we got plenty of them.
He tries to play the whole situation down and pass it off as a bit of fun, but the three witches of Ramsay Street have other plans on their mind. Janelle sits him down on a kitchen chair and they bind him to the seat. He looks quite frightened.
Double, double, toil and trouble. What havoc can we cause to the man with the stubble?
Stu and Connor walk into one another in the hallway. Connor shiftily says he was taking a nap in Toadie's room because he fell asleep reading one of his wrestling magazines. Stu remarks that he looks weird while Connor tries to deny it, making his way to sit on the couch.
Connor is in fact weirded out because he had a strange dream whilst napping – one that involved Toadie. They were still living at Number 30, thirty years later, and all that they had was one another and their “dried-up youth”.
CONNOR: We were eating together and keeping house together, it was like we were married.
STU: Like Harold and Lou.
CONNOR: (gasps dramatically) It is!
Toadie arrives home and Connor warns Stu that if he says a word about his dream, he'll tell Sindi about the buck's night. Toadie excitedly tells them that he was talking to Miles, his ex-manager, and he wants he and Connor to fill in for him on his Ch44 wrestling show. Connor wants to know why and Toadie replies that they have a natural affinity.
STU: Come on, you'd make a darling duo. The two of you together as one.
TOADIE: Yeah come on, it'll be fun! Firing off each other, finishing each other's sentences.
STU: Like an old married couple!
Toadie galumphs Connor into a headlock and demands he wrestles with him.
The three witches of the west pace in a circle around a tied-up Bobby while he tries his best to apologise. Susan tells him to shut up and tells him they can't let him go until he realises they're not toys. All the ladies inform him of how his single lies to each of them turned into lies that affected all of them.
SUSAN: You see you lied to me. You lied to me about the extent of your involvement with my best friend.
JANELLE: (drags his head back by the hair) And I told you straight up I was married, but that didn't stop you from trying to get me to have a Fred Astaire on the side.
LYN: And you knew I was falling for you and all the time, behind my back, you were seducing my best friend.
SUSAN: Are you seeing a pattern here, Robert?
He meekly says yes. They continue to inform him that if they had have known he was trying to crack on to each of them, they wouldn't have come within cooee of him. Bobby apologises again and the ladies decide to untie him and show him the door.
Janelle gathers up his clothes while he makes his way to the front door wearing only his boxers and a singlet. Someone watches them through the kitchen window. It's Izzy! What a surprise. The ladies shove him out the door and keep his clothes, high-fiving one another on a plan well executed.
Triple trouble, garlic and cloves. Let's go burn the rotten scoundrel's clothes.
Izzy looks distraught that her dad is the Aussie Hugh Hefner.