- Danni is sick of being treated like an outsider in her own home, and tells Mal they'll be sleeping in separate rooms.
- Hannah has drawn a love bite on her neck because Daniel gave Miranda a love bite. Hannah is sick of everyone's taunts that she can't get a boyfriend. Helen warns her about creating a reputation for herself.
- Betony tells Brett that when you find the man you've been waiting for all of your life, you want to get the relationship started right away. She forces a kiss on him and asks him, "Your place or mine?"
Betony is very excited about meeting Brett, and waxes lyrical about how wonderful he is. Brett is disturbed by how much Betony knows about him - she's been quizzing her friends. She reels off all of his interests, and Mark says that Brett's found his soulmate. Brett does not look so happy, and the camera zooms in on Betony talking very quickly.
Erinsborough High Classroom
Brett complains to Stacey about Betony, and Stacey scoffs at the idea of a girl being interested in him. Danni and Mal have a loud argument as they enter the classroom - Danni is upset about Mal's friendship with Stonie, and Mal says that Danni isn't fun to be around and just whinges.
The class starts to listen in as Danni tells Mal that 'the whole blokey thing is pathetic', and Susan walks in and tries to intervene. Mal tells her to butt out! Susan gives them both detention.
Coffee Shop Outside
Jen is quizzing Karl over the medical procedure, and Karl says that it's only natural to have second thoughts. Jen says she'd do anything for her cousin, but she's nervous about the anesthetic as she had an allergic reaction when she had her tonsils out, and she needed resuscitating.
Karl says there's been improvements in the past 10 years, and it's likely she won't have the same reaction. He says the biopsy will be done under local anesthetic and she won't go through the full procedure unless there's a match. Jen says that she hasn't told Phil, and Karl agrees not to say anything but warns her that she should let him know what's going on.
Helen presents a rather unwell Annalise with some chicken soup. Annalise is upset that Sam isn't around as she looked after him when he was ill and worried about her business suffering. Helen offers to run some errands, including buying a steamy romance novel, a Mel Gibson movie, and some chocolates - and Annalise gives her a card to post, which Helen is surprised at. Annalise insists it needs to be posted as it's a surprise.
Erinsborough High Outside
Hannah catches Miranda fiddling with her neck and realises that Miranda faked the love bite. Hannah is outraged, and Miranda explains that she 'did it for Daniel' because he wanted to give her a love bite but Miranda wouldn't let him - so she agreed to fake them so they would both look good(!)
Hannah tells Miranda that it's pathetic, and Miranda apologises for being horrible. Hannah says she's forgiven if she promises not to be mean again - and Miranda promises.
Brett is peering through the curtain, worrying about Betony camping outside his house for the rest of his life. Libby tells him to eat his sandwich! Brett complains that all he could see was Betony's mouth going 'blah blah blah'. Libby suggests trying one of the other girls on his list, but Brett says he's never going on a blind date again.
Libby unsubtly moves the conversation onto Billy's love life and new girlfriend, and Libby mocks Brett for not wanting to go on another date. Brett relents and agrees to arrange another date.
Helen and Philip discuss Luke's non- contribution to the household when they are interrupted by Colin banging a gong(!) He greets them in Chinese and tells Philip that the gong is a bell for the customers to ring. He then proceeds to smash it so loudly, Helen and Philip both jump in shock.
COLIN: Now tell me - did you miss me?
Helen and Philip exchange a very weary look.
Hannah is upset that Miranda insisted on coming to the Coffee Shop, which she hates. Hannah is worried about Mark returning and wants to leave, but Miranda wants to stay and eat. Hannah insists they can eat at Miranda's but when Daniel walks in, she realises that Miranda was stalling on purpose.
Daniel gives Miranda a bunch of flowers and is not happy that Hannah is in tow, and is not subtle about his displeasure! Daniel talks about school and how he got detention for 'giving the teacher heaps'. Hannah looks unimpressed and goes to leave, but Miranda acts as if she can't hear her. Hannah leaves unhappily.
Colin is quizzing Philip about his 'new' relationship with Jen, and remarks on how accommodating Helen and Philip are to have both Jen and Luke living with them. Philip says it's only temporary and he was living with Mark. Colin talks about Mark being in 'marital bliss' and rages about the buck's night. He keeps trying to guess who caught the bouquet - and in the end, Philip has to explain that there was no wedding.
PHILIP: Mark's gone rather... Well, well, let's just say he's very different from the man you last spoke to.
COLIN: Oh? How so?
PHILIP: He's rather... Religiously inclined. You'll work it out when you talk to him.
Erinsborough High Classroom
Stacey gives Susan an absence note and apologises it took so long to get to her. She tries to leave to catch her bus, but Susan insists on talking about how her schoolwork is sliding. The bell goes and Mal and Danni enter, so Susan lets Stacey go.
Susan rebukes Mal for being insolent. Susan tells them that they are to leave their problems at home, but Danni and Mal soon start arguing again.
Mark is preaching to Colin and when Colin seems to agree with him, Mark is thrilled, recognising a religious man. Colin informs him that he's an atheist - but one very interested in religion, and he starts quizzing Mark on his specific views.
Mark is immediately lost for words - but Colin seems to accept that Mark's heart is in the right place. Mark is pleased at Colin's apparent praise.
Hannah goes to Annalise for some make- up advice. Annalise explains that she's sick and Hannah just woke her up, and tells her to ask Jen - but Hannah says that Jen doesn't know the secrets and Annalise can get any boy to ask her out. Hannah says that every boy gawps at Annalise when she walks past, and Annalise is pleased at the praise and says she can spare Hannah a few minutes!
Hannah tells her that everyone has boyfriends except for her, and asks Annalise what she did when she was her age. Annalise tells her a story where she had to make all of the moves for a boy who was shy. She says that you have to take a risk to get noticed - boys know when you've made an effort and it means you like them.
HANNAH: So, did you pash him?
ANNALISE: I could've opened up a kissing booth in Year 7.
Hannah is stoked! She asks if all she has to do is make a big impression, and Annalise tells her 'the bigger, the better'.
Hannah has shredded her school uniform(!) Her clothing is ripped, she's done up her hair and make- up, and she's chewing a piece of gum with attitude! There's loud music playing and she struts out of her room with the scissors just as Philip and Helen return home - and they're both unimpressed!
Number 26 continued
Philip is reading Hannah the riot act about how much school uniform costs. Helen is upset about the scissors being blunted and remarks on the eyebrow pencil Hannah used for the love bite - which makes Philip's eyebrows rise even higher.
He says she should've used her old uniform for playing dress- up. They argue and Hannah says he doesn't understand and never does - but Philip says she needs to explain to give him a chance! Helen says they're not mind readers. Hannah is upset that her school uniform is daggy and she can't look good in it.
PHILIP: Don't tell me that this is any better! All ripped up and made up like a ghost!
HANNAH: So? Even Annalise couldn't look good in an Erinsborough High-
PHILIP: - what's Annalise got to do with this?! Did she put that dumb idea into your head?
Hannah says that she'd have got some attention. She says that boys only notice you if you stand out in a crowd and she doesn't. Philip is gobsmacked. Helen warns her that this isn't the way to go about it. Philip tells her to get changed whilst he goes and speaks to Annalise about her misguided advice. He tells her to act her age before storming out, and Hannah looks wounded.
HANNAH: I am acting my age.
HELEN: ...yes, you certainly are, darling.
Mal and Danni are sulking and Brett is trying to get them to talk to each other. Brett tries to get to the bottom of the problem and tells them that they need to compromise. Danni scoffs about Brett's relationship status, but Brett says he's seen enough of Cheryl and Lou to know what he's talking about.
Danni and Mal grumble that they're not like Cheryl and Lou. Brett tells them that once upon a time they used to be in love with each - and asks them to let him know how the story ends.
Philip shows Annalise Hannah's uniform, and Annalise is stunned - until she realises that Hannah took her comments about making a big impression out of context. Philip asks her to be more specific next time! Annalise turns it back on him and says that he needs to there for Hannah rather than coming to her for advice and Philip reading the riot act after.
Philip says he is never too busy for Hannah and she can talk to him about anything, but Annalise gives him a dubious look and silently returns Hannah's uniform to him.
Number 26 Hannah's Bedroom
Helen goes into Hannah's room to ask her for some washing and Hannah looking at her hair. Hannah has seen a model in a magazine with short hair and wonders if she should cut it - before sadly realising that it probably wouldn't as good on her, and then she'd be stuck with it whilst she waited for it to grow back.
Helen won't be pulled into the discussion and tells her to do her homework - and when that fails, tells her to ask Philip for his opinion. Hannah says that her dad is going to ground her but it doesn't matter because nobody is going to ask her out. Helen warns her that her whole life doesn't have to revolve around boys.
Helen takes away some clothes to wash and Hannah finds a note amongst her discarded clothes - and once Helen has read, Hannah reads it aloud.
HANNAH VO: I've been watching you for ages but don't have the guts to speak to you. I think you're so pretty. I just want to know - do you like me too? Your Secret Admirer.
Hannah is thrilled.