- Miranda asking Steve to take dance lessons
- Toadie telling Callum he'll become his official guardian
- Karl bringing a pig home to eat
- Elle & Lucas triumphing over Jason
- Upset Elle seeing Lucas with pictures of Libby
General Store/Number 30
Libby is telling her gang of girly gatherers (Susan, Rachel, Steph & Rebecca), that she just wants a small and simple wedding. Steph and Rebecca joke that Lib should go "large and expensive" because Karl would be "so behind that".
Meanwhile at #30, Dan is showing Toadie (who is picking his toes, eww) a picture of a large church on his phone and they agree that it's beautiful.
But Libby pooh-poohs the idea of a traditional church wedding, just as Elle grumps past and slams a muffin down in front of her. Rachel and Steph suggest some non-traditional colours for the wedding gown, but Libby jokes that it's all too hard and she's decided she's eloping.
At the counter, Carmella thanks Elle for filling in. Lou's late because he was up all night adding friends to his Facebook in an attempt to beat Harold's total. Kelly strolls in and immediately notices Elle's hostility towards Libby, finding it quite amusing.
KELLY: I'm sensing bitter rivalry. I know how you feel.
ELLE: What, you and Libby?
KELLY: No, me and the blonde.
Carmella tells Elle she can head off; Lou will be there soon. Back at the table, Libby is letting everyone know that she will *not* be having fruitcake or almond icing.
Dan of course thinks a fruitcake with marzipan icing is an awesome idea, until Toadie lets him know Libby loathes it. Dan thanks Toad for all his wisdom and heads off before the "Witches of Eastwick" arrive to help clean up.
CALLUM: So are you going to be Dan's best man?
TOADIE: I don't know, mate, why?
CALLUM: If you have to listen to all this stupid stuff you ought to get something out of it.
TOADIE: (pondering to himself) Best man ay...
Dan finds his brother and hesitantly tells him that he and Libby are getting married, but Lucas reveals that he already knew. Lucas asks if he's told their parents yet. Dan says he'll ring their mum, but won't bother about their dad (more people with daddy-issues). He then contradicts himself and says that he wants the wedding to be about family and friends, and wonders if they can learn to be brothers again. Lucas is all for it.
DAN: Goodo... So there's something else I need to ask you.
Lucas barges in with a bottle of bubbly to ask Elle if she was the "champagne fairy" who left it in his garage last night. Elle is quite rude and abrupt with him and Lucas quickly guesses that she saw him with the photos. Elle pretends she doesn't care and Lucas starts to give her an explanation, but she shuts the door in his face. Paul, who has witnessed this entire exchange, smirks at his daughter from the kitchen but she deftly tells him to shut up.
Didge teaches her dad some basic dance steps so he'll be in good form for his professional lessons with Miranda.
STEVE: I still think I should get her some steel-capped boots before we do this.
Miranda watches them fondly from the kitchen.
Lou gloats to Carmella that he now has 372 Facebook friends and Harold's getting worried. Anyone want Lou to poke them? OK, I just grossed *myself* out.
Ty finds Rach and tells her that he can't hang out later, which in Donna-speak means that Ty has just about dumped her. Rachel remains calm and informs Donna that everything is fine between them - but she can't help cast a worried glance towards Ty on her way out.
Ty brings Lucas a glass of champers.
LUCAS: I didn't order that.
TY: Yeah it comes from that suspicious looking bloke over there (nods towards Paul). I'd be worried.
Paul's decided to give Lucas a boot up the butt re: Elle and encourage him to just ask her out already. But Lucas doesn't think Elle's interested in speaking to him anymore.
PAUL: So it's up to you to make her listen.
LUCAS: She slammed the door in my face.
PAUL: Oh come on, that's a sign of respect in our family... Is she right about Libby?
LUCAS: (wry) No, no, that's fine, Paul! I'm happy to talk about this stuff with you!
(Paul gives him a look)
LUCAS: (serious) No she's not. Not anymore.
PAUL: Glad to hear it.
Lucas tries his luck and shows Elle the photos of Libby that he ripped up last night. Elle's being difficult and says he could have just ripped them up before coming over, but Lucas insists that he's putting the past in the past and is ready to move on.
LUCAS: How about you let me know when you're ready to trust me again? I'll put the champagne on ice.
He leaves and Elle can't help look a little bit pleased.
Rebecca, Susan and Miranda all stare in disgust at the mess that is the HoT lounge room. Toadie and Callum stand sheepishly on the other side.
TOADIE: (to Callum) Can you go and get a duster for Rebecca please.
CALLUM: A duster?
TOADIE: Yeah a pair of my old jocks from the laundry.
REBECCA: (horrified) No, no! We brought our own rags, it's fine.
Callum starts to remind Toadie that the inspection isn't till ages away, but when Toadie asks if Callum wants to clean the place himself, he shuts up.
CALLUM: (to Rebecca) Hey, um, be careful of Otto.
REBECCA: Who's Otto?
CALLUM: Our pet mouse. He cleans for us, but only at night.
REBECCA: (disgusted) You have mice that clean?
TOADIE: (pleased) Yeah.
CALLUM: And cockroaches, but they only work in the kitchen.
REBECCA: (to Susan) Oh my goodness, your daughter is marrying a man who lives like this.
CALLUM: Dan's tried to change him but Toadie's just a lost cause.
The womenfolk send the boys outside out of their hair, but when Kelly arrives to help out with the cleaning, Toadie suddenly decides to stay. He introduces all the ladies to Kelly, who in turn get knowing smirks on their faces. Callum pumps up the stereo and we're into a musical cleaning montage. It's no 'Whistle While You Work', but it'll do. They clean, and clean, and wipe dust away with their bums, and clean, and scoff the hidden choccie stash, and clean, and Toadie and Kelly share a sweet little hand-touch moment, and then there's more cleaning before it ends with Susan finding a whole take-away store under the couch.
Ty's on the phone with a "mysterious" caller who wants to meet up with him somewhere. Rachel, Donna and Didge walk in and get suss when Ty totally blanks them. Donna fills her friend's head with more doom and gloom ideas before Ty approaches them. Rachel again asks Ty if he wants to hang out later, but he claims he has a doctor's appointment and says he'll ring her. Ty leaves and Donna suggests they follow him, but Didge gets disgusted and also leaves. Rachel is adamant she's not stalker-gal and she trusts Ty...
... But in the very next scene she's sneaking along the school corridor with Donna. They hear voices and hide behind a row of lockers. They can only see Ty and the mystery woman's legs. When the coast is clear, the girls sneak up to the classroom and stare through the window where Ty is standing in a dance pose with Mystery Woman. Rachel and Donna are aghast, but it couldn't be more obvious that he's just giving someone dance lessons. Buy a clue, ladies.
Elle rejoins the workforce because she's bored and Steve stops by for a delicious bakery treat. He practices his dance moves like a dork, but it just looks like he badly needs to pee. Miranda walks in and Steve thinks she's going to cut sick over the sticky bun, but Miranda's in a happy mood and tells him to enjoy it.
Rachel and Donna have sat down to debrief with Didge and Declan, who can't believe Ty could be such a creep. Ty walks in and lets Rachel know he can't see her later because he's working an extra shift at the bar. All the teens look annoyed on her behalf, and Rachel distantly replies that it's fine.
DECLAN: (about Ty) Wow... That was cold-hearted.
He gives poor miserable Rachel a sympathetic pat on the hand.
Toadie thanks Kelly for all her help and says he'll return the favour one day, "I look pretty hot in an apron". There's a moment of electricity before Kelly departs. Susan grins and says that Kelly's a nice girl, which Toadie happily agrees with. However, he's not so happy about the state of the lounge room - it's a little *too* clean now! Susan shows off her inner-grot and gives the place some subtle messy touches, like pushing over the pile of magazines on the coffee table and flicking up the blanket she just straightened. She finds a photograph of herself and Toadie from his mullet-years and fondly laughs at how young he looked.
FLASHBACK! We see young Toadie give young Libby a hug, Toadie getting his hideous mullet cut off, Toadie defending Susan in court, Susan helping Toad with his ill-fated marriage to Steph and Callum's first meeting with Toadie.
Susan and Toadie have a good old natter about how similar he and Callum are till Dan arrives home. He sees the messy touches and wonders what happened to the spring clean.
Toadie tells Steph that Kelly's not as bad as she thinks, and that she's making up for calling Human Services. They join Libby and Callum and Libby wonders if Dan's asked Toad to be best man yet. Toadie smiles and says not yet, just as Dan meanders over to join them.
STEPH: Heya Fitzy! Ready for some wedding planning?
DAN: I am indeed. Where do we start?
LIBBY: Have you chosen your best man?
DAN: I have.
(They all look at him expectantly)
DAN: It's Lucas.
It goes down like a lead balloon. Toadie pretends he's not crushed, and Libby looks scandalized, but Dan tells them it's the ideal opportunity to patch things up with his brother. Steph can see her friend is fuming and drags Toadie and Callum away for a game of pool. Lib tells Dan he's insane, and that Lucas only accepted to cause trouble.
DAN: Nah, it's OK. This is a good thing.
LIBBY: This is *not* a good thing. This is *really* not a good thing.
She storms out of the bar and Dan is all, 'Oooooo-kay?'.
Libby stalks in to let off some steam, but is annoyed when Lucas is there. She angrily asks why he's trying to wreck her relationship with Dan, but Lucas replies that he accepted the best man offer in good faith.
LUCAS: I'm trying to do the right thing by you and Dan.
LIBBY: You only know how to play games.
LUCAS: I've put us behind me. I thought you had too?
LIBBY: (scoffing) I'm so over you.
LUCAS: Prove it. Accept this in good faith.
LIBBY: No. Tell Dan you're backing out.
LUCAS: Dan and I are fine with each other, it seems that you're the one with the problem.
LIBBY: Yeah, you're my problem.
LUCAS: Yeah. Because you're not over me.
He walks away, Libby looks rattled and Carmella pretends that she hasn't heard the whole exchange from behind the counter.
Libby walks in all apologetic about her behaviour to Dan, but only because she thinks he's changed his mind about Lucas being his best man. When she realises that Dan's still set on having his brother at the altar with them, she becomes quite the selfish brat.
LIBBY: You seriously want Lucas standing right next to us as we're getting married?
LIBBY: You haven't heard a word I've said.
DAN: Wait, Libby, come on.
LIBBY: No! If Lucas is at the altar, I won't be!