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Neighbours Episode 3470 from 2000 - NeighboursEpisodes.com
<<3469 - 3471>>
Episode title: 3470
Australian airdate: 18/02/00
UK airdate: 24/03/00
Writer: Ian Coughlan
Director: Nicky Marshall
Guests: Dione Bliss: Madeleine West
Cecile Bliss: Molly McCaffery
Don McCredie: Barry Main
Deb Foster: Jacqui Sundbery
- "Blue Moon" by Endorphin
- "Animal" by Jebediah
Summary/Images by: Miriam
Joe telling Lyn that he won't compromise with Karl on the fence / boundary situation. Karl telling Susan that he won't play games with Joe; Susan telling Karl that's a pity because he won't be playing any games, then. LOL!
The Public Hall where we find a martial art Of Some Description
Some kind of karate / Tai Kwon Do / martial art thing is going on; Tess, Harold and Paul are all there. The tutor asks Harold how he's going, and he pretends he's ok, although he's finding it difficult to keep up - with an old cricket injury apparently.
The Scullys' where we find Lyn being Flirty
Lyn serves up oysters, strawberries and cheese to Joe who recognises it as the meal they had on the first night of their honeymoon. He thinks that Lyn's being very mean serving that up and says that he is hungry - for a walk. Lyn says she'll see him later.
JOE: You can be an extremely cruel human being, Lyn.
LYN: You can say the word, Joe, four words: "Have a meeting with Karl."
JOE: "Have a meeting with Karl?" Five words, darling.
LYN: Ah! Can't put one over on you!
Joe retrieves an oyster and leaves. Lyn takes a strawberry and lies back on the couch.
The Kennedys' where Lyn and Susan discuss the Lack Of Sex
LYN: Do you know, I actually think they reckon we're enjoying this.
SUSAN: (too quickly) You're not?
LYN: What, you mean you are?
SUSAN: I thought you might be?
LYN: Why did you think that?
SUSAN: You carry it off better than I do.
LYN: Well let's hope that's how they see it. You know, we can't give up now.
SUSAN: No! No, we have to be prepared to go the REALLY long haul.
LYN: Yep. Agreed.
Both women look gutted. For crying out loud, girls. It's been, like, ONE day. Where's your self control?!
The Public Hall where Harold is a Little Embarrassed
The tutor says goodbye to the class and Harold asks Tess not to tell anyone she saw him at the judo class. Ah, so it was judo! Silly me! Harold explains that he doesn't want people to know. People meaning Lou. Paul tells Harold that there are exercises to practise in between class.
Number 30
Joe is showing Joel and Toadie a cricket move whilst it's on the TV, and explaining what the cricketers are doing. Toadie and Joel aren't really paying too much attention. They don't understand why Joe is there demonstrating cricket at that time of night in their living room.
Toadie asks Joe if he's had a fight with Lyn - turning up at all times of the night at your neighbours house is apparently often a sign of that. Joe says they the guys should have more respect for him, especially given that they've eaten at his house many times before (I know, I didn't get the connection either) and leaves.
The Kennedys' where it's Getting Very Steamy
The famous 'Susan massages Karl's head' scene.
Susan is massaging Karl's head, and playing with his hair in a very, erm, sexual way. Don't ask me to describe what exactly makes it sexual, it just is very, well, turn-on-able.
SUSAN: You're not coming down with something, are you?
KARL: Oh, ah, what do you mean?
SUSAN: I feel the definite rise in the temperature of your scalp. That could be symptomatic of something, couldn't it?
KARL: Ah, mmmm...
SUSAN: That was a real shift in your metabolism, oh, oh, that is so warm...
KARL: Oh, ah......
SUSAN: (slaps his face affectionately and walks away) There you go. I'm off to bed.
KARL: All right! All right, that's it. You win.
SUSAN: What. What do I win, Karl?
KARL: You win me.
SUSAN: Oh, I'm sorry that's not gonna cut the mustard, not yet.
KARL: Oh alright, I'll, I'll talk to him, I'll sort out this boundary thing.
SUSAN: Say his name!
KARL: Oh, Lucifer!
SUSAN: Say his name!
KARL: Beelzebub, the devil, Joe, Joe, Joe Joe Joe! I'll talk to Joe, I'll sort out the boundary thing, I'll stop all this savagery. I'm sick and tired of it anyway, I'm very tired.
SUSAN: Oh. (seductively) Well. You'd better come to bed, then.
KARL: Thank you, Mrs Kennedy.
Perfect, perfect comic timing.
The Scullys' where Lyn is Being Wifely
Joe returns home and Lyn makes herself look more awake on the sofa, although she was really asleep until she heard the door. Joe asks her if she's still up, which is a stupid question because of course she is, but she says, no, she's just being wifely - it's what neglected wives do.
She says that there's a soccer game on TV, assumes he wants to watch it, and she'll see him in the morning. Joe stops her going to bed.
JOE: This is getting on my wick!
LYN: Is it.
JOE: Sweetness...
LYN: Oh! Sweetness? I haven't heard that in a *long* time.
JOE: Yeah, well see, yeah, what I mean, well, is, well, look, what I'm trying to say, the, the, the oyster's kicked in and it's stupid and so is everything richy ditch? I mean more or less here, you, me and here? You know?
LYN: (whispering) Not whilst you're being silly about a tiny sliver of land.
JOE: It's not me, Lynnie, it's him next door! Karl Marx!
LYN: Don't bring any fleas to bed!
JOE: (Desperate) Is that an invitation?!
LYN: Oh, erm, I suppose it could be. On two conditions.
JOE: Name them.
LYN: One - wash your hands. Two - Talk. To. Karl.
JOE: Now? Talk to Karl before...
LYN: Tomorrow.
JOE: Talk to Karl before tomorrow?
LYN: Nope.
JOE: Talk to Karl tomorrow!
LYN: You are such a bonehead!
JOE: (Smiling hugely) Oh, darlin'!
Ramsay Street where Joel is Looking Good
I'm not a huge Joel fan, but he does look good here. Two young girls approach him for his autograph, and Dee drives up and orders them into the car, telling Joel her little sister has a crush on him. Joel tells Dee he knows that it was wrong he pretended to be a soccer star, and please could he see Dee again? She declines in a roundabout way.
Number 30 where we find the Boys in Cricket Gear
Joel tells Toadie that Dee turned him down, although he thinks she doesn't actually hate him. Toadie laughs at him, and asks if Joel thinks he could have a shot at Vanessa. But apparently Vanessa told Dione that she never wants to see Toadie again.
Toadie doesn't care too much, he has his eye on somebody else - Teresa! Why, why, why???!!
No, really! Why?!
The Coffee Shop where Harold is Wishing He Wasn't There
Harold is telling Lou that he's upset he can't go to the cricket but knows he has his duties at TCS to perform. Yeah, like - work, surely. Lou takes some food away with him as he leaves, and encourages Harold to talk to the owner of Grease Monkeys this afternoon and to start planning how he should manage the café, because he's going to get it!
Joel and Toadie come into the TCS with Karl and Joe, and they all make their way out, Karl and Joe agreeing as they go that they won't discuss the land issue whilst they're playing cricket.
The Kennedys' where we find some Easy Women
Lyn and Susan confess to each other that they let their husbands back into the bedroom last night. Honestly. In it for the long haul, eh? All 24 hours of it.
Susan asks Lyn if she knows what this land issue is really about, but Lyn has no idea. She thinks it's just a principle of having the land - not for any other reason. They hope that the men will start to behave themselves.
The Cricket Club
The team are celebrating their win, and Joe reminds them that they have two more games to go before they win the whole thing.
Joe approaches Karl and says that they are supposed to talk; it quickly degenerates into an argument about the land until Toadie interrupts.
The Coffee Shop
Lou enters The Coffee Shop and tells Paul and Harold that they won. He asks Harold if he's okay to meet Don McCredie (Grease Monkeys Man), because they have to leave soon. Harold disappears to get changed.
No 30 where Joel is Half-Naked
Joel has showered post-cricket, and Toadie tells him that his whole belief system about women has just been thrown out of the window. He plays Joel a message from their answerphone. It's Dee, calling for Joel - meet her in the pub at 1700 - she'll wait 5 minutes, no longer. Toadie says he hates Joel - he doesn't understand why Dee wants to see him again.
Melbourne where we find a Large Office
Harold and Lou are at Don McCredie's office to talk about managing Grease Monkeys. Lou compliments Don on his own success, and Don tells them that Portia and Desi Grant weren't very successful in that arena. Lou promises that Madge and Harold could do a great job. Don presents them with a contract, and says that there's another party interested at this stage - he'll make a phonecall and find out where they're at.
The Kennedys'
The Kennedys and Scullys are sitting at the dining table. Karl tells them that the measurements are wrong. Susan is looking thoroughly bored, and asks if she can ask a question.
SUSAN: What does it matter?! It's a tiny little piece of turf!
Joe says it does matter, and Karl agrees with him. Karl tells him that his measurement is wrong, and Joe argues back.
SUSAN: It is 46cm of land, for heaven's sake, both of you - GET OVER IT!
Karl tells Joe that he's welcome to the land - as long as he can prove it's his. Joe says he will prove it.
KARL: Good.
JOE: Good.
Lou's Place where we are waiting for Dee
Toadie makes fun of Joel - it's 1705 and counting. He doesn't think that she's going to show up, just as Dione walks in.
DIONE: How's our legal practice going?
TOADIE: Fine. How's your inheritance?
Dee and Joel talk about the meal where they girls walked out before, and she says she wants to get to know the guy behind the soccer player. He says he'd like to get to know her, even though they've been lying to each other for three weeks.
Melbourne where we find a Really Big Office
Harold doesn't know whether to sign the contract or not - it's his future and there'll be no way out. He doesn't want Don McCredie taking over his future. Lou is trying his best to encourage him.
Don returns and says the other party's no longer interested, and he'll leave Harold to mull it over, telling him not to be embarrassed if it's too big a thing for him. Lou thinks that this is a golden opportunity - he can always sell it later when he's a very rich man.
Harold looks very confused.
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