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Neighbours Episode 3185 from 1998 - NeighboursEpisodes.com
<<3184 - 3186>>
Episode title: 3185
Australian airdate: 09/10/98
UK airdate: 10/02/99
UK Gold: 04/10/04
Writer: Kate Langbroek
Director: Nicholas Bufalo
Guests: Chicken Man: Lynette Massa
Cassandra: Elizabeth Shingleton
Dahl: Trained by Jason Hura
- "Rescue Me" by Michelle Ross
Summary/Images by: Sal
- Paul arrives back at Number 24 after Leo has to go to sea.
- Paul is bitter about Leo dropping him, and thinks he's an idiot for hoping Leo would change.
Carpenter's Cars
Paul surprises Lou, causing him to bang his head.
PAUL: How's it going?
LOU: Well, better before that, mate(!)
Lou notes that Paul's back early from South Australia but Paul doesn't elaborate, merely saying his holiday was "all right". Lou says that the devil makes work for idle hands, and suggests that Paul wash a few cars for him. Paul agrees.
LOU: Now I'll pay upfront, of course. That's if you don't mind accepting chickens as payment.
PAUL: Chickens?!
LOU: Well, you're always telling me I'm paying you chicken feed. This time I'm prepared to throw in the whole bird.
PAUL: Oh-ho, I don't think so!
LOU: All right, money. Hmmph. Geez, you drive a hard bargain!
They laugh.
Number 26
Hannah storms into the house looking upset. Philip asks what's wrong and Hannah tells him that the vet is horrible. Ruth comes in and is also concerned. Hannah says that vets are supposed to be nice and kind, and she didn't feel she could stay there. Philip is confused and presses her for more information.
HANNAH: He was just awful! This afternoon he expected me to stand there and watch him put down this dog who had cancer. He was so mean about it.
RUTH: That's a bit rugged, isn't it, for a work experience kid?
HANNAH: He was nice to the animals but he was really mean to the nurse and he wasn't very nice to me.
PHILIP: So is this guy really mean, or is he just a bit abrupt?
HANNAH: Oh, he reckons I should get a taste for what vet work is really like but if it means putting down animals, I don't want to do it.
Ruth assures Hannah that she doesn't have to back if she doesn't want to. Ruth suggests to Philip that they should have a chat to the vet themselves. Hannah mopes and says that she's really put off the whole idea.
PHILIP: I gather Paul feels the same about being a fisherman.
Hannah suddenly brightens up when she realises Paul is back in Erinsborough! Philip explains that Paul was around earlier looking for her. Hannah runs off to meet him. Ruth and Philip laugh.
RUTH: Is it my imagination, or have we just found the cure for terminal depression?
PHILIP: In the shape of Paul McClain, it could be!
Philip and Ruth joke about briefly before kissing.
Number 24
There's a bang on the door - and it's a very excited Hannah on the other side.
MADGE: Hello, where's the fire?
HANNAH: Er, sorry, Dad's just told me Paul's back.
MADGE: Yeah, he is but at the moment he's out somewhere looking for you.
HANNAH: (pleased) Really?
MADGE: Well, it's either that or he's at the garage or maybe he's at the Coffee Shop eating his way out of the doldrums.
Hannah asks if things went badly with Leo. Madge explains that one of the crew had an accident, so Leo had to go back to sea early. Madge says that Paul's disappointed, and Hannah is sympathetic.
Coffee Shop
Paul goes into the back to see Harold. Harold wonders if Paul found Hannah. Paul explains that he ended up at the garage and washed cars for Lou instead. Paul helps Harold to wash up, and Harold tries to get Paul to talk about Port Lincoln. Eventually, Paul admits that he was pleased that the trip was cut short as he really wanted to return to Erinsborough.
HAROLD: (concerned) Nothing bad happened, did it?
PAUL: No, no. Nothing specific. I mean, Dad didn't do anything wrong or anything, it's just... Well, he's supposed to be my father and I just thought that when you meet your dad that... I dunno, I guess I just didn't expect him to be like a stranger.
Harold points out that it was probably the same for Leo - they both have to start at square one. Paul says that Leo tried really hard, and really wanted him to have a good time but Paul just couldn't hack it. Paul admits that he found it difficult to find things to talk about with Leo.
Paul gets upset and tells Harold that he now feels guilty, as Leo was disappointed when he had to go back to sea unexpectedly, but Paul was pleased as it meant he could come home.
Carpenter's Cars
Lou is stocktaking. Hannah walks in.
HANNAH: Is Paul here?
LOU: Hello to you too(!)
HANNAH: Oh, sorry, Lou!
LOU: Looking for your boyfriend, are you?
HANNAH: He's not my boyfriend.
LOU: (Kenneth Williams impression) Ohhh, excuse me! (normal voice) Whatever he is, he's not here now.
HANNAH: Well, I only just found out that he came back from Port Lincoln so...
LOU: Me too. Yeah. Well, he came in looking for Drew, washed a few cars, wouldn't take chickens-
Hannah looks baffled.
LOU: (continuing) -pocketed the cash and then (chicken impression) took, took off!
Hannah looks slightly freaked out! She backs away from Lou and says she'll keep on looking. Lou suggests the Coffee Shop, carries on with his chicken impressions and laughs to himself once she's left!
LOU: (to himself) Yes, forty thousand feathers on an old chicken's breast!
Coffee Shop
Harold and Paul are sitting in the back. Paul is clearly distressed and says he feels like an idiot. Harold says he isn't an idiot - the only thing he's guilty of is underestimating how difficult things were going to be. Paul carries on that Leo's his father, so there should be more of a connection but Harold points out that Leo and Paul haven't had all of the little experiences that a father and son usually have to build a relationship on.
Harold reminds Paul that he and Leo are virtually strangers and just liking each other - even a little bit - is a good enough start. Paul admits that Leo seemed like a pretty nice bloke. Harold thinks that's all Paul can hope for at the moment. Harold reminds Paul that Leo will be finding it tough too, worrying whether Paul likes him or not.
Paul worries about what to do next, and Harold suggests ringing him in a couple of weeks. He thinks they might relax a bit and could even laugh about how tongue tied they were initially.
Cassandra knocks on the adjoining door and tells Paul that Hannah's looking for him. Paul wipes his tears and Harold goes to tell Hannah that Paul will be out shortly.
Lou's Place
Libby is at work and Mike is sitting at the bar. Mike thinks they should take a holiday together and suggests Fiji.
LIBBY: Oh yeah! (getting increasingly excited) Or Thailand, or Tahiti, or the Caribbean! Or a caravan in the back yard..let's face it, I'll go anywhere!
Mike laughs and says his parents have just come back from overseas. Libby jokes that they should ask them for some tips, and Mike thinks that being friendly with your bank manager is the first step. He says that it helps when people know someone in the travel business and lets slip that Victoria got his parents a cheap deal on their trip.
This wrong foots Lib, and she asks what Victoria does, guessing flight attendant. Mike corrects her - Victoria is a travel agent. Mike jokes that he only married Victoria to get cheap flights.
LIBBY: You know I think that's the first time you've mentioned your parents to me.
MIKE: Is it?
LIBBY: Yeah, I was beginning to think you were an orphan.
Mike quickly changes the subject, and raves about them having a holiday together.
Coffee Shop
Hannah and Paul are finally together.
HANNAH: Everyone was telling me you were back but I thought it was like the sightings of Elvis or something!
Hannah mentions what Madge said about Paul being back because of Leo having to work. Hannah wonders if Paul's ok about it, but Paul's quite pragmatic saying if Leo has to work, he can't do anything about it. He says they'll discuss it later. Hannah is just pleased that Paul's ok.
PAUL: Really happy to be back. Really missed everyone.
HANNAH: (excitedly) Oooh! Did you miss me?!
PAUL: (deadpan) No, I was glad to get away from you.
HANNAH: (joking) Oh, thanks a lot!
PAUL: I'm only kidding; don't get offended.
HANNAH: (mock sulking) Don't flatter yourself, why would I even care?
They both laugh. Madge bursts in and calls for Harold to look outside as there's "something very strange".
A man in a chicken costume is handing out fliers.
Coffee Shop
Madge and Harold look unimpressed!
Number 28
Libby and Mike walk in still talking about their planned holiday. Libby talks about taking her shoes off as her feet are aching after work.
MIKE: Essentials for trekking the hazardous terrain of the local bar, I believe!
LIBBY: Yes, well, we'd better cross Nepal off the list!
Libby tells Mike to look at the travel section of the paper. She brings up his parents again, reckoning that they should ask their advice. Mike says they've only just got back so they'll be jet-lagged. Libby is confused - she thought they'd been back a week. Mike is momentarily flustered and then says that his father will be too busy with work to talk about holiday destinations.
Libby looks put out. She tells Mike that if she didn't know better, she'd think he was ashamed of her. Libby presses to meet his parents. Mike tells Libby that he and his father had a falling out a while ago, so it's best that they don't spend too much time in each other's company. Mike says they'll sort it out - but not at the moment.
The chicken is dancing around, advertising cut price chicken meals in Lou's Place. Harold is outraged that Lou is touting for business under their noses. Harold rants that he thinks Lou is in the costume (apart from the fact the chicken is about 5 stone lighter than Lou!). Harold rushes over to confront him.
HAROLD: Lou Carpenter, if that's you in there, you come out and face me like a man!
Through The Chicken Suit
From the chicken's POV (!) we see Harold ranting and raving.
The chicken runs off. Madge yells that he's getting away and Harold gives chase.
Number 28
Mike is rubbing Libby's feet. Libby says she wishes Mike could do that for her after every shift at the pub. Mike wonders what's in it for him! Libby says she's pretty good at family conflict resolution but this doesn't go down well with Mike.
Libby says she just wants to know that his family don't have a problem with her. Mike shrugs this off, saying they've never met her so they can't have a problem with her! Libby says she's feeling insecure. Mike asks her to let it go as it's all a bit painful for him. He promises they can talk about anything else.
Libby seizes the opportunity and asks him what the happiest day of his life was. Mike groans but admits that it was the day he became a father. He asks Libby what she wanted to be when she was little. Libby scornfully tells him that she wanted to be a gymnast, but gripes about how she already told him that on their first dinner date. Libby tells Mike that it's a typical lecturer trait - great with the talking, but not so hot with the listening!
Mike tries to tell Libby that he listens, but Libby says he doesn't listen like she does. She says that she knows when Sasha's birthday is, that Joseph Conrad is his favourite author, and she claims to even know his wedding anniversary - although she wishes she didn't! Libby thinks that Mike doesn't know much about her at all.
Mike suddenly gets up and says he has to do something. He promises to be back shortly.
Coffee Shop
Madge, Harold, Paul, Cassandra and Hannah all pile back into the Coffee Shop. Harold grumbles that free enterprise is one thing, but poaching customers is something else entirely. Cassandra thinks it isn't too much of an issue, but Madge talks about how dependant they are on the lunch trade. Harold points out that even if Lou didn't manage to steal their customers, he probably put a fair few off from coming in because of the way he was dressed.
PAUL: Do you really think it was Lou in the suit?
HANNAH: No, it didn't look like his bill!
Harold thinks it could've been Drew as Lou makes him do his dirty work. Harold hopes that Paul won't do any similar things if Lou asks him! Paul mutters that he doesn't have a death wish! Paul and Hannah go to sit down. Madge and Cassandra watch them.
MADGE: Well, at least buggerlugs is looking happier, isn't he?
CASSANDRA: The path of true love, I think!
Paul and Hannah continue their conversation - Hannah reminds Paul that he was just telling her how much he didn't miss her! They laugh and Hannah tells him about her work experience sucking. Paul says the holidays haven't been great at all. He suddenly suggests that they go somewhere - anywhere! They rush off.
Number 26
Hannah and Paul are hanging out. Hannah suggests that Paul's expectations about meeting his dad might have been too high. Paul reckons he didn't realise he'd had any expectations! Hannah reminds him how he was when he first came to Erinsborough - living with the Bishops took a bit of getting used to.
PAUL: Yeah, I guess.
HANNAH: Come on, you used to whinge to me all the time!
PAUL: (indignantly) I did not!
HANNAH: You did! And I listened which is more than a lot of other mates would've done.
PAUL: You think you're pretty special, huh?
HANNAH: Yeah, I do.
Hannah laughs, but Paul turns serious.
PAUL: As a matter of fact, you're probably right. You have been a good friend, which is why I bought you this.
He passes Hannah a little pouch.
HANNAH: You got this for me?!
PAUL: Well, I didn't get it for me, did I?!
Hannah opens it and it's a necklace. She says it's beautiful. Then the phone rings, interrupting them. Hannah grabs it - it's Rosemary. They start chatting about Rosemary flying to Paris with Hannah, and in the foreground, Paul looks solemn.
Lou's Place
Harold and Madge walk in. Lou is behind the bar.
LOU: Why do I get the feeling you're not here for happy hour?
MADGE: You can forget the wisecracks.
HAROLD: We're here to protest at your deliberate attempt to steal our livelihood.
LOU: Oh, I see. You have a monopoly on feeding the masses now, do you?
Madge tells him that they need him to fight fair - they can't afford to fight against half price meals, and Lou knows it!
LOU: Madge, I sympathise, I really do. But this is business - survival of the fittest, dog eat dog!
Harold wants to know how long they have to tolerate the oversized chicken poaching their customers. Lou promises that once he's made a dent in his surplus chicken supplies he'll get rid of the dancing chook! Madge wants to know a timeframe, but Lou says it depends on how many customers he gets. He points out that there's no point in fighting his campaign, because it'll only drag it out for longer.
MADGE: (threateningly) You are a selfish devious, conniving-
LOU: (interrupting) Sticks and stones, Madge, sticks and stones!
Madge wants to know who's inside the chicken suit but Lou won't divulge the identity of his 'promotional star'. Lou then offends Harold by suggesting he'd look good as a big turnip or even a big pumpkin...and then settles on a big puce tomato! Harold seethes.
LOU: I'll tell you what, Harold, by the colour of your face right now you wouldn't need to wear a costume!
Number 26
Hannah finishes her phonecall, and Paul looks unhappy. Hannah apologises for being on the phone for so long and explains where Rosemary lives and what the plans for the flights are. Paul asks how long it is until Hannah leaves - Hannah tells him it's just 3 days. She shows him a photo of Claire's house so that Paul will know exactly where his letters are going, and she says that they can e-mail everyday as well.
PAUL: What does Mark think about you going?
HANNAH: Oh, Mark who?
PAUL: (excitedly) So you're not going out with him anymore?!
HANNAH: Paul, he dumped me. I couldn't go out with him even if I wanted to.
PAUL: And you don't want to?
HANNAH: Not anymore.
PAUL: (nervously) Um, Hannah, there's something I really need to tell you.
PAUL: Well...
Philip and Ruth arrive home with a load of shopping. Paul makes a fist and punches his leg in frustration! Ruth suddenly realises that they've interrupted.
RUTH: Oh, we're not staying. We're just going to unpack a few of these perishables and then we'll go over to the old house and do the...thingy.
PHILIP: (confused) The thingy?
RUTH: The thingy!
She gestures and eventually Philip catches on.
PHILIP: Oh, the door that, that, that sticks!
Ruth spies Hannah's new necklace and inspects it. Hannah explains that Paul brought it back from South Australia for her and Ruth compliments him on his lovely taste. She motions to Philip to go into the kitchen.
Number 28
Mike returns with a basket and some flowers. He tells Libby that he's about to prove that she's not always right and he does listen. He's filled the basket full of Libby's favourite things - her favourite flowers (irises), her favourite jam (raspberry), her favourite biscuits (Tim Tams), her favourite win (Margaret River Red), two packets of chocolate covered honeycomb and the new Paul Kelly CD. Libby is stoked.
Mike reminds her that he's a typical lecturer and launches a test!
MIKE: What is significant about 3.15pm on the third of March of this year?
LIBBY: Umm... A lunar eclipse?
MIKE: Almost. It was the first time you walked into one of my lectures.
Libby is quite takenaback that he remembers. Mike jokes that he remembers because she was late - it should've been 3pm on the dot and he's been meaning to speak to her about it ever since! They laugh. Libby thinks that it was a brilliant surprise but says he still doesn't listen enough as he got her chocolate liquers instead of Belgian truffles. Mike tells her to give him an hour and goes to leave, but Libby pulls him back and they both laugh.
Number 24
Harold walks in with some wooden boards.
HAROLD: There! This should solve our problems with Lou Carpenter!
MADGE: I don't see how - there isn't enough wood there for a coffin!
Harold says that he's going to make a sandwich board with advertising for the Coffee Shop on it and tomorrow lunch time he's going to wear it outside the pub. Madge is reading the paper and comes across an article about a local poultry producer being prosecuted for overcrowding - and apparently, to solve the problem, they've been offloading birds at reduced prices.
Harold and Madge guess that that's how Lou's got his cheap chickens. Madge thinks it makes sense - Lou's always got some sort of scam going. Harold is outraged that Lou is making a profit out of animals who have lived the most miserable lives. Madge calms him down, saying that they can't be sure that's what Lou has done. Madge thinks they should find out the truth.
Number 26
Hannah and Paul are slumped in front of the television. Paul suggests that they turn the news off, and Hannah agrees - she doesn't know why they call it the news - it's always the same old stuff! Hannah thanks Paul for the necklace and promises not to take it off whilst she's away. Paul hopes that it doesn't turn her neck green! There's an awkward silence.
PAUL: Hannah, I need to ask your advice on something.
PAUL: Well, there's a girl at school that I really like.
HANNAH: (trying not to show she's hurt) Really?
PAUL: Yeah, I've known her for a while now and she's just the best, you know?
HANNAH: So what's your problem? Doesn't she like you?
PAUL: Well, yeah, that's just it. I think she just sees me as a friend but I want her to be more than that. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about her the whole time I was in Port Lincoln.
HANNAH: Well, you've got to tell her.
PAUL: Do you reckon?
HANNAH: Yeah. I mean, if you like her so much, chances are she likes you as well.
PAUL: Well, maybe you could help me find out.
HANNAH: And how could I do that?
Paul pauses and then...
PAUL: It's you.
Hannah smiles. Awwww.
<<3184 - 3186>>
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