- Annalise failing miserably in her fundraising attempts.
- Lou being shirty about Cheryl not being able to take him out for his birthday.
- Stonie threatening to beat Brett up because of his involvement with Sassy.
- Helen telling Philip that the family are interfering in her relationship with Len. She tells him that they are going on holiday - alone!
Cheryl brings Brett in, who's sporting sunglasses. Lou convinces him to take them off and he's sporting a shiner. Lou wonders who punched him, and Brett says it's one of the West Waratah kids. Danni is shocked that Brett ended up in a fight.
Cheryl says that Brett isn't being forthcoming about who hit him. She'd spotted him in the Coffee Shop and wanted to take him for a haircut, but once she saw the black eye, she had to take him to the surgery instead!
LOU: Well, I hope you punched the bloke back.
BRETT: Yeah. No worries.
Brett walks off into the kitchen. Danni follows him.
DANNI: Brett, what happened?
BRETT: (angrily) Just drop it, ok.
DANNI: (surprised) ..Brett?
BRETT: As if you didn't know. It's your fault, isn't it?!
Brett storms off.
Meanwhile, in the living room, Cheryl says that the doctor is waiting for her results. If her hormone levels are down, she can go on HRT. She hopes that'll be the case because she's sick of having such no energy and bemoans that her crystal therapy with Pam didn't help. She says she feels old!
Lou grumbles about turning 51. Cheryl says it's not the same because he doesn't look it! She laughs about them keeping it quiet, but Lou doesn't seem too impressed that a big fuss isn't being made.
All five of the Martins are tidying up after a meal and discussing Helen. Philip says that Len's managing to distance Helen from them already - so if they continue to oppose Len, she'll be pushed closer to him.
DEBBIE: So what then? We just wave her happily off?
PHILIP: Sure. And pick up the pieces if things go wrong.
JULIE: After all, from what Gran's saying, they're only going away for the weekend...
We jump to the Waterhole, where Len is pouring champagne for him and Helen. They discuss the scenery of their upcoming trip, and Helen notes that Len doesn't sound too enamoured with the place (he suggests that 'you could be in England'!). Len romanticises about Australia's rugged areas and Helen happily listens.
HELEN: You've never told me that you've been to the outback.
LEN: ...well, I haven't. That's my dream! And like most dreams, unlikely to become true.
HELEN: Well, why do you say that?
LEN: Oh, a little thing called money.
Len talks about how he doesn't want to be a tourist to the outback, but he wants to stay there and steep himself in it. He says that he wanted to do art tours, and guide people in the footsteps of prolific Australian artists. Helen thinks it's a brilliant idea.
LEN: Well, if ever I win the Lotto, I'll take a trip - check out the possibilities.
There's a silence. Then:
HELEN: Let's do it.
HELEN: Let's go. You and I. I'll pay.
Len mutters and scoffs about what sort of a bloke Helen thinks he is! Helen said that hearing him talk the way he did convinced her. She's always promised herself that she'd go back and now she wants to see it through Len's eyes. Len says he can't accept but Helen is adamant that he must try and realise his dream. She suggests combining their trip away with a recce.
Len starts to half concede, but Helen tells him that it's settled. They're going - tomorrow! She says that she just needs to change her packing and some flight details. Helen thinks that tomorrow is the best time anyway, as everyone else will be so busy with Lou's birthday, the family won't have time to object!
LEN: You're an amazing person, Helen.
HELEN: Now, what shall we drink to?
LEN: How about... The horizon?
HELEN: The horizon.
They chink glasses.
Brett and Danni are making what looks like a disastrous birthday cake for Lou. Danni thinks that it's cheaper than buying a present!
DANNI: Oh, dork, will you take those glasses off? I have seen black eyes before!
BRETT: Yeah, well, I wouldn't have one if it wasn't for you.
Brett grumbles about Sassy's intentions and then is distracting by Danni chucking a heap of baking soda in the cake and not measuring it. Danni says it's fine and changes the subject back.
DANNI: Anyway, maybe this er, "Stonehead" guy is just her ex-boyfriend who won't quit?
BRETT: Who cares? Anyway, what's your scheme, trying to put us together like that?
DANNI: Well, I thought you'd like her.
BRETT: More like you were trying to suck up to Sassy because she's the leader of the Waratah gang.
Brett grumbles that Danni's never bothered to match him up with anyone before. Danni says that she won't again!
BRETT: (dreamily) Well good, because the only girl I'm interested in at the moment is Deb. (reality dawns) Only problem is, she's not interested in me.
DANNI: I wouldn't say that.
BRETT: (not convinced) Sure, you're just trying to suck up!
DANNI: Ahh, don't believe me then!
They start to fight with baking products.
Annalise is short on her fundraising money and asks Rick for a loan. Rick says he's skint after paying the rent, and Mark took his last five bucks - meaning he had to have a packet of chips for lunch! Annalise grumbles that Rick has helped Mark more than he's helped her. Rick says he's tried to stay impartial but Annalise doesn't understand how Mark's ended up with more money.
RICK: People liked his sausage roll idea. And because he's a bloke, I guess. I mean, people think it's a real treat - a male Miss Erinsborough.
Annalise vows not to be beaten by $15 and wonders what else she can sell. Rick tells her not to sell anything else as Mark's still furious over his cds being sold. Rick suggests that she sell some of her jewellery but Annalise is indignant when it comes to her stuff! Annalise then has an idea:
ANNALISE: Your clothes!
RICK: No, Annalise, they're mine!
Annalise runs off to get them and Rick races after her to stop her.
Cheryl surveys the shambles of a cake that Brett and Danni have made. They groan at the state of it, and Lou wonders what smells so good. They try to hide it, but Lou spots it and Cheryl has to explain. Lou thinks it looks great and runs off to get some ice-cream to eat with it.
Everyone is surprised that he wants to eat it straight away - as it's his birthday tomorrow - but Lou seems stoked that people have actually remembered it.
LOU: A midnight feast in the bosom of the family. It's the only party I want.
CHERYL: (mutters) Easily pleased(!)
The next morning, Philip, Julie and Doug go up the drive of 24. Julie says to Doug that Mark's early. Doug says that he's told him to lie low until they've got Lou out of the way. Philip starts playing the trumpet - badly! - and they all laugh.
Philip hands it over to Doug, indignantly telling him that if he thinks he can do better, he should have a go! Doug laughs and gives it to Julie. Julie, to Philip and Doug's astonishment, starts playing a great rendition of the Last Post. Lou and Cheryl emerge from the house.
LOU: (laughing) What the blazes is going on?
JULIE: Happy Birthday, Lou!
PHILIP + DOUG: Happy Birthday, mate!
Lou and Cheryl go to join them. Lou asks Julie if she realised that she was playing the Last Post and Julie apologises, but she forgot how to play the Revelry! They all laugh.
DOUG: So let's go! Me and Phil are going to buy you a drink.
LOU: What, now?
PHILIP: Why not?
Lou points out that it's still a bit early!
DOUG: How about a game of mini-golf?
PHILIP: (sarcastically) Oh, good idea(!)
LOU: Nah, not really.
DOUG: Oh come on, you couch potato!
Cheryl convinces him to go off with the boys to get the circulation going. Philip and Doug go to get Philip's car. Julie stops Lou.
JULIE: Lou, before you go, I want to give you these. My work keys.
Julie hands Lou her keys to the car yard. Cheryl hands Lou a brown paper envelope.
LOU: What's this, love?
CHERYL: Er, the deeds to the car yard. Julie thought about it and wanted out and so I er, bought it for you, freehold.
LOU: Cheryl, you didn't!
CHERYL: I did!
Lou is absolutely over the moon. He happily embraces Cheryl.
The whole of the street is set up for a party and Cheryl is giving out instructions to Susie.
CHERYL: You just keep that champagne flowing, yes? And plenty of soft stuff for the kids and *nothing* vaguely alcoholic for my daughter, agreed?!
Cheryl spots Alex, from the car yard, and thanks him for coming. Alex says he doesn't really know anyone but Cheryl tells him that Ramsay Street residents are a friendly bunch so he just has to get in there and mingle.
Rick is pleased to see Sally and speaks in (poor) Japanese to her. Gaby rebukes him for not referring to her as he should a teacher. Rick brushes it off somewhat. Mark wanders over and looks tense.
Cheryl, Danni and Brett come out with more food.
Cody is putting some chairs over and Michael comes over with some food.
MICHAEL: I'm really sorry about coming onto you like that the other day.
CODY: Yeah, well, it was kinda mega insensitive.
MICHAEL: Yeah, well, I just lost it totally. It's an amazing trip finding out that you've got a future again! And I wasn't even sure that we even still had a relationship.
CODY: I told you I'd stand by you.
MICHAEL: Yeah, that meant a lot to me. Well, so, problem's gone right? And what's stopping us from taking up right where we left off? I mean, I still want to hang around you, Cody.
CODY: I don't know, Michael.
MICHAEL: (sullenly) Well, what's changed?
CODY: I need time. I've been thinking about sex a lot over the last couple of weeks and it's major. I mean, once it's happened, there's no turning back.
MICHAEL: What's wrong with that?
CODY: I'm not ready.
Michael looks hurt. There's a long silence.
CODY: Just give me some space for a while, ok?
She walks off. Michael watches her go and looks confused.
Cheryl suddenly squeals that Lou's arriving.
Philip, Doug and Lou drive up the street.
Everyone crowds around the car to greet Lou. They all raise a huge toast to him.
Rick is chatting to Sally, and says that Erinsborough High is lucky to have her.
Lou approaches Pam and Cody.
PAM: Oh, Lou! So 60, is it?!
LOU: Oh, who's a cheeky Willis then?!
Helen interrupts and gives Lou a present.
HELEN: You've been a wonderful neighbour and a very good friend.
LOU: Oh, thank you, sweetheart - and the feeling's mutual.
Helen tells him not to open it yet, as it's not present time but she's giving it to him now as she's leaving for her jaunt.
Philip is getting some ice and Gaby comes in.
PHILIP: Ah, Gab. I haven't had chance to congratulate you on keeping the job.
GABY: Oh, well, it was touch and go there for a while. I know your reference really helped. Thanks, Philip.
PHILIP: They'd have been crazy to give you up.
Philip makes to leave, but Gaby carries on:
GABY: There was one condition. I have to find a suitable replacement for my maternity leave.
PHILIP: Oh, not so easy.
GABY: Oh, I've got the perfect candidate. You!
PHILIP: Ohhh, I don't know about that. The newsagency is a job and a half. Though I'll try and think of someone!
Gaby thanks him, but it's clear she was hoping he'd step in for her.
Lou is unveiling the sausage roll. Gaby calls for attention off the residents and the press. She congratulates Mark as the chef and everyone cheers.
MARK: Thanks folks, thanks very much. There's a lot of people I need to thank-
DOUG: (interrupting) Yeah, your mum, your dad, your grandad, your father, brother, sister
MARK: Good one, Dougie(!)
Mark goes on to thanks a few places, including Lassiter's for the sponsorship. He kisses Gaby on the cheek as a thank you and Annalise bristles. He also thanks Cheryl for buying the roll and invites everyone to dig in, in honour of Lou.
Mark goes on to tell everyone that the money raised has secured his entry into the Miss Erinsborough quest. Annalise storms off. Mark doesn't notice and goes on to say that the money will go to benefit their paralympians. Everyone applauds. Mark welcomes the judges for the Guinness Book of World Records.
Everyone waits with baited breath and the verdict is that whilst there are some checks to be done, it's looking good for the world record. Everyone cheers!
Philip, Julie, Debbie, Hannah and Michael pile back into the house and spot Len and Helen about to leave. Julie laughs at the amount of luggage that they're taking for a weekend away. Helen corrects them and says there's a change of plan, but she doesn't want to go into it.
Helen and Len rush out of the door and Helen says that there's a number on the desk for where they'll be at first.
MICHAEL: What do you mean, where you'll be at first?
HELEN: Come on, Len.
JULIE: But GRAN!
HELEN: I don't have time to explain, darling, we'll miss our flight!
PHILIP: What is this, Helen? You just can't leave without an explanation.
HELEN: Can't I?
Len tells them not to worry as he'll take good care of her. He leaves. Hannah rushes to Helen and asks where she's going. Helen says she's off somewhere very exciting and promises to send Hannah a postcard. Helen leaves, and the Martins are stunned.
Cheryl walks in on Doug and Pam getting comfortable! Pam says that they're planning their second honeymoon. Cheryl thinks it's a nice idea getting to know each other again, and wonders if it's a cruise or tropical island that they had in mind. Apparently they're going to camp in the house that Doug's renovating! Doug says that they need to keep the vandals out and this kills two birds with one stone.
CHERYL: It doesn't sound too romantic, Dougie!
PAM: All alone in a house, night after night? Sounds like heaven!
CHERYL: Horses for courses, I suppose!
They're interrupted by Mark and Annalise rushing in with an exercise bike and arguing over it. Annalise says it's Cheryl's because she's sold it to her. Mark is infuriated because he bought it for Annalise as a present. Annalise reckons that therefore, it's hers to sell!
MARK: We use it all the time!
ANNALISE: (angrily) No, YOU use it all the time! It's the only reason you bought it. Typical male selfishness. Well, now I need the cash and Cheryl's here to help me.
CHERYL: Are you sure $15 is all you want for it?
ANNALISE: Plenty, Cheryl.
MARKL (outraged) FIFTEEN DOLLARS, do you know how much this thing cost?!
The phone goes and Cheryl answers it. In the background, Mark and Annalise fight over the exercise bike. Annalise tells him that she's only interested in her admission to the charity quest.
On the phone, Cheryl asks if the caller is sure about the news and sounds completely stunned.
Number 26 - Outside
Debbie is hanging in the garage. Brett walks by and Debbie calls over to him. She wonders what's going on with his new image (he's wearing the sunglasses to cover his black eye).
BRETT: It's really bright out there.
DEBBIE: (annoyed) Oh yeah? Just trying to be Mr Cool Guy, hey? I suppose it fits with the rest of your attitude lately.
BRETT: Give me a break will you, Deb?
DEBBIE: Take them off. You look stupid.
Brett hesitates. Then he takes them off. Debbie looks surprised and then recovers.
DEBBIE: Uh-huh. How did you get that?
BRETT: Fight with Stonefish.
DEBBIE: (annoyed) Over Sassy?
BRETT: Well, he started it.
DEBBIE: You started it, you mean. By getting with her!
BRETT: I didn't!
DEBBIE: Everyone knows!
Debbie leaves. Brett looks upset.
The party is in full swing in the house. Pam asks Cheryl if she's ok and Cheryl says she's just a bit worn. Pam says that Lou told her about the visit to the doctor. Pam asks when Cheryl wil hear about the HRT.
CHERYL: Er, next week, I think.
PAM: That wasn't what that phonecall was about, was it?
Cheryl brushes it off and Pam goes back to the party. Cheryl looks troubled.
Sally and Gaby are chatting. Rick approaches them and wonders where they've been - he's been looking everywhere. He invites Sally back to his house but she refuses. He tries to convince her but Gaby pushes him off.
GABY: Well, you've won a fan there!
Gaby points out that Rick's besotted - he's been sticking to Sally like flypaper! Sally says she's been trying not to notice. Gaby says Rick's got it bad and Sally thinks that's all she needs as crushes on teachers from students always leads to trouble!
In the centre of the room, Cheryl hands Lou a knife to cut his cake (complete with a heap of candles!).
JULIE: Wait! You've got to make a wish!
LOU: What's to wish for? I've got everything I want right here.
Everyone joins in a stirring rendition of For He's A Jolly Good Fellow! Philip leads the hip-hip-hoorays and Doug demands a speech!
LOU: Ok, ok, ok! Well, er, first of all, I think I should congratulate Mark on the length of his sausage roll! In today's shrinking standards, he's an example for all of us. And secondly, thanks very much everybody for coming along. Especially my neighbours in Ramsay Street. It's the greatest street in the world and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
PHILIP: Same here.
JULIE: Hear hear!
LOU: Last but not least, I'd like to thank Cheryl - for being a sneaky, coniving so-and-so and keeping me in the dark. A man likes a bit of warning you know, before he goes to the greatest birthday party he ever had. Thank you, sweetheart.
They hug and everyone 'ahhhhs'. Everyone crowds around them and dives for the cake.
Number 22 - later
Lou and Cheryl sink onto the sofa after the party. Lou thanks her again for the car yard and is stunned that she bought it for him. He says it's the best present he's ever had, and the best one he could ever wish to have. Cheryl's pleased.
CHERYL: I er, got a call from the clinic today. They got my tests in.
LOU: Oh yes, yeah? How did you measure up?
CHERYL: Oh, I'm fine. It actually had nothing to do with menopause.
LOU: Oh well, there you go then. Probably some...some virus or the other.
LOU: Hey, wait until Pam finds out - all that money you two spent on crystals and incense!
Lou chuckles some more! Cheryl laughs weakly.
CHERYL: Lou, this is not going to be easy. Ummm. How would you feel about being a father again?
Lou looks sharply at Cheryl!