- Stephen tells the reverend that he and Phoebe just wanted to have a Christian wedding in their local family church; not to be judged.
- Madge tells Lou that she's sorry that things didn't work out, and that she does love him in her own way. Lou hugs her and says he'll always love her.
- Rick is concerned about telling Cathy and Benito about Marco staying in Europe.
- Debbie appearing on the television saying that her mum doesn't know she's in England. Julie, watching at home, is stunned and realises that Philip was in on the deception.
Doug is sitting with Lou and Benito. He is lamenting everything that he's lost - his wife, his family, his home and his self-respect! He thinks he's got nothing at all. Lou and Benito are just as miserable as Doug is!
LOU: You get to a point where you look around and you ask yourself, "What have I done with my life? What have I achieved? Where's it all gone?"
DOUG: I miss my old life.
BENITO: I miss my job. A regular pay packet.
LOU: I miss Madge.
DOUG: (laughing) Hey, would you listen to us? We sound like we're competing for the Loser of the Year award!
The three men all laugh. Benito reckons he's got the award sewn up - he's up to his eyeballs in debt, he's got a yard full of cars that no-one wants to buy and a family to support!
LOU: Yeah, but you've got me! The best damn salesman who ever set foot in a car yard.
Benito thinks that's all very well, but they'll need a miracle to turn the yard around. Lou tells him that he can work miracles! Benito looks sceptical.
LOU: I can turn cars into cash before your very eyes! Take it from me, sunshine, we'll be back in the fast lane before you can say, "Have I got a deal for you!"! Cheers!
Julie is furious that Helen and Philip plotted behind her back to send Debbie to London and reckons that it's unforgivable behaviour.
PHILIP: If you'd just calm down a minute-
JULIE: Calm down?! I find that you've spent the entire week lying through your teeth to me and you want me to CALM DOWN?! Just wait until I get those two home tomorrow.
PHILIP: I tried to tell you.
PHILIP: ...when they'd gone.
Julie tells him that he obviously didn't try to tell her hard enough! Philip maintains that they just kept getting interrupted!
JULIE: Besides, I would never have allowed Debbie to go jet-setting half way around the world. Especially with that Alessi boy!
PHILIP: Which is *exactly* why I didn't want to tell you in the first place!
(I don't think Phil's peace-talk tactics are much cop!)
Philip admits that it was probably the wrong thing to do, and Julie thinks that's an understatement.
PHILIP: But I also know that they were in perfectly safe hands. I mean, if you can't trust Helen as a chaperone, who can you trust?!
Julie reckons that she can't trust anyone these days(!) Julie demands to know who else is in on the deception - Cathy? Benito? Philip says that if they'd seen the news, they'd have been on the phone by now, so he assumes that they're still in the dark.
Julie decides that it's time that someone told them! She goes to the door, but Philip angrily slams it before she can go through it. He determinedly keeps his weight on it to stop her from re-opening it.
PHILIP: (annoyed) Maybe it's time you kept out of other people's affairs and stopped stirring up trouble!
They both glare angrily at each other.
Stephen thinks that being married to Phoebe will be full of surprises. She tells him he won't have to wait too long to find out if that's true. Phoebe says that she hasn't been able to contact her mum, but it doesn't bother her because they're not close. Stephen says that his parents will be able to make it to Erinsborough for the wedding. Phoebe is pleased.
Stephen suggests talking to Reverend Fitzsimmons - who blew them off - to see if he'll change his mind. Phoebe thinks that if it's too much of a hassle, they should just have the registry office do. Stephen is confused, as he thought Phoebe wanted the full church ceremony - dress, confetti, bridesmaids, vows etc. Phoebe admits that she does.
STEPHEN: Well, Phoebe, if it's a church wedding you want, it's a church wedding you'll get.
PHOEBE: Want to know something?
PHOEBE: I really love you.
Stephen tells her that he loves her too.
Benito is raving about how lucky he and Cathy are as a couple because they can always talk about things and Cathy says that it's the secret of a good marriage. Benito comments on how Doug and Pam can't communicate at all at the moment.
BENITO: I mean, what would it be like? A marriage without trust and honesty... It would be depressing!
CATHY: Ben, there's something I've got to talk to you about.
She tells him that she wants to talk about the Coffee Shop's new owner. She reveals, to a very shocked Ben, that she's the new owner. Ben is upset when he realises that's where the proceeds of the spaghetti sauce sale have gone to. Cathy protests that she didn't spend all of it on the Coffee Shop - she did give Pam some for the homeless children's charity. Ben is appalled that Pam must've known about Cathy owning the Coffee Shop before he did!
BENITO: Who else is in on this scam?!
CATHY: No-one! ...well, Madge did have to find out eventually.
BENITO: Oh, that's great! The *whole* of Ramsay Street knows my business before I do! Any other secrets you want to tell me about? Of course not!
He gets up to stalk off. Cathy begs him to listen to her but Benito strops off, saying he's heard enough!
Lou is sitting with Bouncer, musing on the fact that he's turned 50. He pulls at his face.
LOU: 50 years old, eh? So this is half a century of living. It's funny, I don't feel any older than I did yesterday. I don't look any older! (to Bouncer) What do you reckon, son?
LOU: You just keep your opinions to yourself, hairy legs(!)
The phone rings and Lou answers - it's Madge, and he's delighted, thinking that she's calling to wish him happy birthday. Sadly, she hasn't and is just trying to sort out some details of some missing items. Lou tries to engage her in conversation, but Madge has to hang up. Lou doesn't let on that he's upset, but it's obviously bothered him. He ends up celebrating his birthday by sharing some milk with Bouncer!
Helen, Rick and Debbie have arrived home. Doug and Lou come over to the taxi, asking how the great Aussie outback was! Helen quickly brushes them off and the three of them stand outside Number 26. Rick suggests that he hangs out at Number 26 for a while so that his parents don't guess that he arrived home at the same time as Debbie and Helen. Debbie thinks it's a good idea - they've managed to pull it off so far, so they don't want to wreck it at such a late stage!
Meanwhile, Doug gets into his ute and Lou asks if he fancies a drink after work. Doug says he's got to give it a miss because he's not in a party mood. Lou sighs.
Helen, Rick and Debbie have been cornered in the living room by Julie. Julie is dying to know all about the Bungle Bungles. Helen is uncomfortable, but Julie won't let her escape that easily! Under pressure, Debbie starts to lie about all of the things that they supposedly did and Julie listens intently!
Julie then gets up and quizzes Rick about London, *wondering* why he got back at the same time as Helen and Debbie. Rick brushes this off, saying he's been home for hours. Philip appears from the bedrooms.
PHILIP: Ok, Jules, you've had your fun. (to Rick) She knows all about it. We saw you on tv.
They all look very guilty!
Number 26 (later / after an ad break)
They're all having a big discussion. Julie is annoyed and is pacing up and down. Rick wonders if his parents know. Philip tells him that he doesn't think so, and Julie says that if it had been left up to her, they'd know!
HELEN: Julie, you have every reason to be upset but don't take it out on Rick.
JULIE: UPSET doesn't even BEGIN to describe the way I feel!
Debbie tells Julie not to blame Helen, as she was in bed sick for most of the trip. This sends Julie into an even deeper rage as she realises that Rick and Debbie were wandering around London completely alone! Philip spies that this is going to get worse and quickly interrupts.
PHILIP: Debbie, why don't you go to your room and unpack? Rick, I think you should go home, don't you?
Debbie and Rick gratefully accept Philip's excuses to get them out of Julie's firing line! Once they've gone, Helen and Julie start to argue. Helen insists that the kids deserve more credit as they behaved impeccably but Julie thinks that isn't the point.
Philip tells them that they should postpone the fight - Helen must be tired from the trip, and he's got a meeting to get to. Satisfied that this is going to happen, he leaves. When they're alone, Helen tells Julie that if Julie must blame someone, it should be Helen because she came up with the idea.
JULIE: Maybe so, but everyone else went along with it. I'm sure Debbie needed no convincing.
HELEN: Well, between you and me, I don't think you should be too hard on her.
JULIE: (outraged) Give me one reason why I shouldn't!
HELEN: (craftily) Michael will be coming home from boarding school soon. If there's any bad blood between you and Debbie, it'll only push her and Michael closer together and you'll be needing all the allies you can get.
Julie looks extremely irritated by this obvious truth!
Benito says that now he's had time to think about it, he believes the Coffee Shop will be a good investment. Cathy says that she knew he'd come around. Benito starts raving on about it being a real family business - Marco behind the counter, Cathy's money and his financial skills to make it a team effort. Cathy says that she wants to contribute more than just money.
Cathy tells him that she's still got a substantial sum of money. Benito worries that she's going to branch out into a franchise! Cathy offers to pay off his loan debts. Benito says that he got himself into the mess, so he'll get himself out. Cathy asks what he'd do if she insisted and grabs him in an embrace. Benito happily laughs that, in that case, he could hardly refuse.
Rick bursts through the door with his cases.
RICK: (poor English accent) Well, I say, old chaps! This is a jolly spiffing welcome home, eh?!
Benito and Cathy grab Rick in some weird group hug(!) but are evidently pleased to see him. They bombard him with questions, and Rick tells them he can only answer one at a time. They're keen to know where Marco is, but Rick is evasive, telling them that Marco had lots of friends to catch up but not enough time, so he's stayed behind.
Benito and Cathy don't look totally convinced by this, but Rick tells them that Marco will get home under his own steam, which seems to satisfy them. Rick escapes to have a shower and Benito and Cathy smile happily at each other.
Julie and Helen are drinking tea in the kitchen. Debbie comes in, brandishing a plastic bag. She tells Julie it's a present from London - a peace offering. Julie looks inside the bag and giggles. Debbie's bought her a boomerang (because she had to pretend that she'd gone to outback Australia, not England). Debbie tells her that it took her forever to find it!
Debbie and Helen both apologise for lying. Julie says that everyone makes mistakes in their life, and no real harm has been done. Helen leaves them to go to the bank. Debbie shows Julie her official Michael Jackson tour jacket. Julie is impressed and asks where she got it. Debbie drapes it around Julie and says that it's a long story. Julie asks Debbie to tell her the story and the pair hug, happily.
Stephen has tried to find alternative places for them to get married but whilst other priests don't have a problem with their situation (Phoebe being pregnant), they're all booked up at such short notice. Phoebe accepts that Stephen might be right, and they might have to try Reverend Fitzsimmons again. Phoebe gets up to get some more coffee and tells Stephen to cheer up - they'll find a church somewhere.
Helen comes in and sits with Stephen, who's looking glum. Helen congratulates him on his engagement to Phoebe. He miserably thanks her.
HELEN: You look as if you're on your way to the gallows instead of the altar.
She guesses that there's a problem. Stephen says that it's a big one - they can't find a church or a priest to marry them next weekend. Helen suggests Reverend Fitzsimmons, who took over the local church whilst Helen was away in London. Stephen tells Helen that they've already tried him and explains that Reverend Fitzsimmons thinks that Phoebe and Stephen marrying in his church would be condoning immorality.
HELEN: Now that isn't a very Christian attitude, is it?
Helen decides that she'll have to see what she can do about it!
Benito drills Rick for information on Marco and Rick is very evasive. Cathy is unimpressed with the piles of washing Rick has left for her!
BENITO: Did he say when he might come back home?
RICK: Er, who?
RICK: Oh, I don't know, when he's finished catching up with his friends, I guess.
BENITO: Did he happen to mention the names of these so-called friends?
RICK: Actually, he did say something about afternoon tea with...Charles and Di!
Rick laughs. Benito is exasperated! Rick runs off to "see if Debbie is home". Benito yells after him, but Rick has long gone. Lou appears, and comments on Rick's energy. Lou says that he was like that once, when he was young. Lou asks for the day off. Benito agrees, but is surprised, as it's unlike Lou. Lou asks Benito if he fancies a drink later on, and even offers to pay for them all, but Benito says he has too much on his mind.
Debbie and Rick are looking at photographs. Julie tentatively approaches Debbie and reminds her that Michael is returning tomorrow. Julie says that she's counting on Debbie for her support.
DEBBIE: What do you mean?
JULIE: I need to know that you're on my side. That you won't allow yourself to be led astray like last time. It wasn't very pleasant.
DEBBIE: I'll do my best.
JULIE: Good. I'm counting on you.
Julie peers at the photos of London and gushes about the photo of Big Ben. Julie asks what else they got up to, and Rick and Debbie exchange a knowing glance. Debbie says that they just did normal touristy things. Julie wants to know more, but Debbie and Rick just grin.
They're interrupted by Lou appearing at the back door.
LOU: Knock knock! Hi Julie.
JULIE: Hi Lou.
LOU: Is Jim around?
JULIE: No, he's on a consultancy job; won't be back until tomorrow.
LOU: Oh, I see. Well, is Philip home?
JULIE: He's at the office.
LOU: Oh, of course, yes.
Lou peers hopefully over Julie's shoulder.
JULIE: Sorry, she's at the bank.
LOU: Oh well.
He sadly turns to leave, and then pauses and turns back to Julie.
LOU: I don't suppose you er, were...
LOU: ...on second thoughts, it doesn't matter!
He makes a sharp exit. Julie looks bemused!
Helen and Reverend Fitzsimmons are walking together. Helen is lecturing Fitzsimmons on the fact that he's supposed to serve his community, not stand in moral judgement of it. Fitzsimmons says that he's standing up for values - young people today think that they can do whatever they like and not have to face the consequences. He asks Helen what sort of message he'd be sending out if he allowed Stephen and Phoebe into his church.
HELEN: That you were a caring, compassionate, Christian man...which obviously you're not!
FITZSIMMONS: Now who's being a little hasty in their judgement?
Helen says that she's been going to his church for many years, and his attitude will not be shared the majority of the congregation. Fitzsimmons suggests that they go inside to talk it over. Helen says that she's sorry but she won't. He looks surprised when shes leaves.
Benito tells Cathy that Lou is odd - first he asked for the day off, then he turns up at work and spends the rest of the day wandering around like a lost puppy! Benito is confused because there were three customers in the yard and Lou didn't approach any of them, yet it's not like Lou to miss a sale. Benito thinks it's very strange.
Cathy is sorting out Rick's washing and finds some photographs (oh what? That were just lying around in his *huge* 6x4 pockets?). Cathy tells Benito that if he thinks Lou's strange, he should take a look at what she's found - photos of Debbie and Rick in London!
BENITO: (musing) If Debbie was there with Rick, that means Helen must've been there too. Which means that... Jim and the whole Martin clan must've been involved. EVERYONE in Ramsay Street must've known about this!
(Er, that's a bit of a leap of logic!)
Cathy tells Ben not to jump to conclusions and suggests going over and talking to Helen. Benito refuses to go and be told another pack of lies - he's had enough and thinks that the Robinsons are laughing at them behind their backs.
Lou is drinking alone. Doug approaches him and asks what's wrong. Lou says nothing is wrong - everything is peachy keen. Doug laughs and tells him if that's the case, he'd hate to see him on a bad day!
LOU: Ok, buy us a birthday drink and I'll tell you all about it.
DOUG: But it's not my birthday.
LOU: No, it's mine.
Lou tells him not to feel bad - nobody else remembered either...not even Madge! Doug wonders why he didn't tell anyone. Lou says that he was going to tell people over drinks that evening, but everyone had better things to be doing! He says that now he understands how Madge felt. Doug laughs about how Madge was inviting everyone to her leaving do and everyone kept refusing to go. Lou says that at least everyone had a good reason, and that was that they were going to her surprise party!
Lou says that his life has gone to the dogs since Madge has left. He says that he's not only over the hill, but he's half way down the other side and picking up speed! Doug tells him that it's just another birthday. Lou tells him that it's actually his 50th! Lou is miserable that he's 50.
Helen tells Phoebe and Stephen about her argument with Fitzsimmons. She explains that after that failed meeting, she went to see Reverend Richards, who was the minister prior to Fitzsimmons. She raves about what a young, modern thinker he is (who once dated Melanie!) and says that Richards will be delighted to marry the pair.
Stephen and Phoebe are grateful. Helen asks if Stephen is looking forward to introducing Phoebe to his parents. He says he is, but seems unsure!
Rick and Debbie are sitting in the front room. Julie and Philip are kissing (Philip has clearly just arrived home from work) when Benito and Cathy storm in. Philip and Julie 'welcome' them in, clearly missing their bad moods(!) Benito completely ignores them and marches over to Rick.
BENITO: You. Home. Now.
PHILIP: Ah, do you mind telling me what all of this is about?
BENITO: As if you didn't know. Rick and Debbie were in London together, weren't they?
PHILIP: Look, I'm not going to lie to you.
BENITO: Well, that'll be a change! So you obviously knew about it all along!
Julie looks outraged and protests her innocence.
JULIE: Oh, I didn't!
PHILIP: (calmly) Yes, they were in London together and yes, *I* knew about it. But I also knew Helen would be there to keep an eye on them and, to be honest with you, I didn't see any harm in it.
BENITO: No harm? No harm in encouraging a boy to lie to his parents? What kind of people are you?! What kind of kids are you raising?! It's not enough for your daughter to lead our son astray in *Erinsborough* - she has to follow him half way across the world to do it.
Debbie and Rick look upset. Philip and Julie look really angry. Julie starts to argue, but Philip stops her.
PHILIP: Just cool it, Jules. Benito, you're not confusing the issues here, are you?
BENITO: What do you mean?
PHILIP: Well, I know you're upset about losing the job.
CATHY: (outraged) *That* has got nothing to do with *this*!
BENITO: If it wasn't for your wife's deviousness, I wouldn't have lost my job in the first place and you'd still be CLEANING TOILETS!
Philip's jaw drops.
JULIE: I've heard quite enough of this, thank you!
BENITO: Wrong! This is just the beginning! Your daughter is a bad influence on our son!
JULIE: It's the other way around, if you ask me!
BENITO: From now on, he will have nothing to do with any of you!
Rick and Debbie are upset. Julie and Philip, and Benito and Cathy are all facing each other off.
JULIE: Just fine with me.
BENITO: Well that's settled. Let's go.
Debbie and Rick look unhappily at each other.