Henry being praised by Ted Morrow, the radio station manager, for his talkback idea.
Beverly and Clive finding Debra's baby abandoned at the surgery with a note asking Beverly to look after him.
Beverly asks Clive what they're going to do. Clive tells Beverly that there's a number on the note in the baby's basket. He dials it, but discovers that the line has been disconnected. Beverly says she knows Debra talked about giving up the baby, but she didn't think she *would*. Clive comments that he knew Debra had a touch of post-natal depression, but nothing this drastic. He then asks about the father. Beverly, though, says she doesn't know who he is. Clive tells her that he'll drop round to see Debra in person. Beverly just smiles that she bets Debra will be on their doorstep first thing tomorrow, demanding her baby back.
CLIVE: Meanwhile, doctor, you are literally left holding the baby!
BEVERLY (fussing over the child): Oh, I think I can manage for one night!
Henry arrives home. Bronwyn rushes to greet him and asks if his bosses were impressed. Henry laughs that he got a big pat on the back from the manager! Madge asks him curtly what he's going to do when he runs out of family and friends. Harold adds that he doesn't expect Henry's station manager will be very impressed when he finds out Henry's so-called talkback programme was a hoax. Madge asks him if he got any *genuine* callers. Henry replies that there was one, thanks to her raving about the garbage.
HAROLD (pointedly): One call does not a programme make.
HENRY: Yeah, well. There's got to be a way. Maybe if I pick a special subject? You know - something a lot of people are wound up about. What do you think?
HAROLD: Well, yes - and then you could call upon an expert to make comments, eh?
HENRY (looking thoughtful): Yes... I guess anything's worth a try at this stage...
Melanie is cooking in the kitchen when Clive arrives home to find clothes strewn everywhere!
CLIVE: Did we have a tornado hit Ramsay Street in my absence?!
MELANIE: Oh, I like to get my things organised right away in a new place.
CLIVE: You could have fooled me!
Melanie clears some of her things out of the way so that Clive can sit on the couch. She tells him that she's cooking them a fantastic dinner and he doesn't have to do a thing. She suddenly runs over to the stove, though, yelling:
MELANIE: The sauce!
It's OK, though: the sauce is unscathed! Melanie then starts to make Clive a cocktail, telling him as she does so that she did a bar and waiting course: they made the most fantasmagorical drinks, but people are so boring with their beers and white wines that she never got a chance to make anything really exotic! As she works, Clive picks up a small model pig from among several pig-related items on the counter.
MELANIE: Aren't they just the cutest creatures in all the world?! I just love them; I've been collecting them for ages!
Melanie pours out the cocktail and hands a glass to Clive. He takes a sip.
CLIVE (sounding slightly astonished): Fabulous!
MELANIE (indignantly): Don't look so surprised!
Clive then asks what she's cooking, as it smells delicious. Melanie replies that it's her very own special recipe for roast pork. Clive stands there looking bemused!
Joe serves dessert for him and Toby in the kitchen. Toby puts some in his mouth. It's ice cream, and he winces. Joe asks what's wrong. Toby explains that one of his teeth is a bit loose and ice cream makes it hurt. Joe tells him to open up and they'll have it out in a jif. Toby refuses, though. Joes then tells him that, first thing tomorrow, he's going to the dentist. Henry suddenly bowls in through the back door and asks Joe if there's any work around. Joe retorts that there's nothing. Toby rubs his jaw and Henry asks what's wrong.
JOE: He's got a toothache. He won't let me fix it... he won't go to the dentist...
HENRY: Come on, Tobe: everyone's got to go to the dentist.
TOBY: Yeah? How come dad never does?
JOE: I *do* - every now and then...
HENRY: Oh yeah? How long since you've been?
JOE (stalling): Oh, a little while... a while back...
TOBY: Yeah, dad, when?
JOE: A couple of--; a few years ago.
HENRY (exclaims): A few years?!
JOE: *I'm* not the one with the toothache.
HENRY: Joe, everyone should go to the dentist at least twice a year.
JOE: Well, I can't afford to do that. I've been earning a crust; I haven't been able to get around to it.
HENRY: So it's OK for Toby to go along, but you're too chicken to go yourself?
JOE (demands): Who says I'm chicken?
HENRY: So you and Toby will go along together, then?
Joe mutters reluctantly that, OK, they'll both go. Henry grins at Toby.
Beverly is talking on the 'phone while holding Debra's baby. Clive is on the other end of the 'phone, telling her that no one knew anything. Beverly hangs up as Jim arrives home. He looks at the baby and Beverly explains that he was left at the surgery by a single mum who can't cope. She adds that she's sure the mother won't be able to stay away from the little sweetheart for long. Jim asks if there's a father or anyone they can contact. Beverly explains that Clive's tried all that - including the hospital; but it seems they don't even have a name for him: Debra must have been too depressed to deal with it. Jim asks her if she's confident that Debra will come back. Beverly nods that of course she will. Jim suggests that they should hand him over to Welfare in the meantime.
BEVERLY (indignantly): Jim, the baby hasn't been *abandoned*. Debra left a note, asking me to take care of him. I'm not going to make more waves for the poor girl by getting Welfare into the act.
JIM: But we can't keep a baby here, darling.
BEVERLY: Don't be ridiculous. She'll be back before you...; I'd say by tomorrow.
Jim sighs that he really doesn't think it's a good idea. Beverly just retorts that she *can* look after a baby for one night; Debra left her in *her* care and *she's* responsible.
Henry is having breakfast the next morning. Harold starts talking to him about the lack of work. Henry sighs that Todd and Nick are undercutting him and Joe, even though the quality of their work isn't as good as his and Joe's. He adds bitterly that what beats *him* is how Todd and Nick have managed to latch on to so many of his and Joe's regular clients.
HAROLD (mumbles): Ah, um, well, perhaps I did give them the idea...
HENRY (sharply): What do you mean?
HAROLD: Well... both you and Joe were away and a customer rang and wanted their garden done straight away, so I asked Todd to step in. I didn't want you to lose the business.
HENRY (bitterly): And we lost the business. Never mind, I'm sure you meant well, Harold. It still doesn't explain how they managed to contact all our other regulars.
HAROLD (sheepishly): Well, I did lend Todd your address book...
Henry jumps up from the table, looking astonished.
HAROLD: He had to ring the client about the job.
HENRY (annoyed): That is just terrific. You hand those two ratbags my livelihood, then stand there trying to tell me you were doing us a good turn.
HAROLD: I *was*.
HENRY: Well, I don't think Joe's going to look at it like that - not after your little effort with the weed-killer; he's going to go through the roof.
HAROLD: Well *I* didn't know that they were going to go into competition with you. Anyway, it's all by the by, now; the important thing is to get your business back on its feet.
HENRY: Like how?
HAROLD: Well... give me a poster and I'll hang it up in the Coffee Shop.
HENRY (doing an impression of Harold!): 'Give me a poster.' Thanks.
HAROLD: They must know that you are back in business again. The old saying is very true: it pays to advertise.
Henry stands there, looking thoughtful.
Melanie is doing aerobics in front of a workout video on the TV. She's wearing fluorescent pink leggings and a bright yellow top! Clive is trying to talk on the 'phone, but is having trouble hearing. When he hangs up, he asks Melanie wearily if she's always like this in the morning! He then tells her that that was his brother on the 'phone: he's feeling a bit crook at the moment, so Clive is going to give him a hand 'til he's on his feet again.
MELANIE: Where does he live?
CLIVE: Way out in Woop Woop - which presents a problem: Des sort of trusted me to look after this place andó
MELANIE: No problem at *all*, Clive. I'm a very trustworthy person; everyone will tell you that!
Clive goes to spread honey on his toast. Melanie stops him quickly, though, telling him that what he's got on his knife is her facemask!
Front yard of No. 26
Jim has taken delivery of some new plants. Harold joins him and comments that his replacement plants have arrived. He asks if Jim managed to get the same varieties. Jim replies that he didn't, but some of what he's ordered are quite spectacular, so Harold and Joe did him a favour after all. He then announces that he's going to enter the gardening competition and he's going to create some colour blocks. Harold listens with interest.
Joe hangs up the 'phone and tells Toby reluctantly that there's been a cancellation at the dentist and they can go after school. Toby tells Joe that Joe has got to go in first, or he's not going. Joe sighs that he will. Toby heads off to school just as Henry comes in through the back door.
JOE (sighs): Give me some good news, Henry.
HENRY: Exactly why I'm here, Joseph. Harold gave our address book to Todd: that's how they snaffled our customers.
JOE: Oh cripes. That does it. First the weed-killer, now this... I'm really going to go over there and thump him!
HENRY (quickly): Cool down, Joe, I've got a better idea - and Harold's going to help us.
JOE (demands): How could Harold possibly help *us*?
HAROLD: Can you be at the radio station this arvy?
JOE: I've got the dentist. [He then realises:] I can ring up and cancel.
HENRY (quickly): No, no, no need, Joe: *after* the dentist will be fine.
JOE: Are you sure?
HENRY: Yes I'm sure. You will need this, however.
He hands Joe a sheet of paper. Joe stares at it.
HENRY: Get the picture?
JOE (grinning): Oh yeah...! I reckon!
Beverly is holding Debra's baby and Melanie is fussing over him. Clive is telling Beverly about going up to see his brother. Melanie asks what the baby's name is, but Beverly explains that they don't know; the Registrar of Births has just got him listed as Baby Turner. Clive tells Beverly that he tried the neighbours again: Debra's mum took off with her boyfriend two weeks ago and Debra hasn't been seen since yesterday afternoon when she left with an overnight bag and her backpack.
CLIVE: It's about time we went and saw Marjorie down at Welfare, don't you think?
BEVERLY (indignantly): And complicate things further? Look, there's no earthly reason why *I* can't look after the baby 'til Debra shows.
CLIVE: *If* she shows.
BEVERLY: Course she will.
Melanie chips in that they should give him a name. She suggests 'Clive'... 'Sebastian'... and then 'Horatio'!
BEVERLY: I always thought that if I had a son, I'd name him Rhys - after my dad.
MELANIE (looking bemused): 'Rhys.' That's lovely - it's so, um, dignified!
CLIVE: It's up to Debra to name the baby.
BEVERLY (quickly): Course it is - but until she does, I'm going to call him Rhys.
She takes Rhys back from Melanie and starts cooing over him.
Dentist's waiting room
Toby is sitting waiting. He looks around at the people sitting in the other seats, many of them rubbing their jaws in pain! A few seconds later, the door to the treatment rooms opens and Joe walks out. As he does so, he says:
JOE: All right, Tobe, your go now, mate.
Toby has done a runner, though!
Front garden of No. 24
Madge and Harold are busy gardening.
HAROLD: This is what a true partnership is all about, eh, Madge: doing things together?
MADGE: Just don't do your back in, Harold; we do have *other* mutual interests, you know...
HAROLD (looking shocked): Madge!
Jim strolls over and comments that they're busy little bees! He adds that he sees Harold and Madge have taken a leaf out of his book in planting borders. Harold retorts that he thought Jim was concentrating on clumps of colours; he hardly has the *copyright* on borders. A conversation ensues about the plants Harold and Madge are planning to put in. Jim eventually wanders off again, leaving Harold to say loudly as he does so:
HAROLD: I'm sure we can quite safely say that by the time this is all over, the Bishop garden will be the envy of Ramsay Street!
Bronwyn suddenly calls down from the balcony of the house that Henry's radio show is starting in a minute. Harold dashes up the path, muttering as he does so that he hopes the boy knows what he's doing.
Radio station studio
Henry is reading out a community notice.
Harold and Bronwyn are standing by the radio in the kitchen. Harold says tersely:
HAROLD: It's nothing short of blackmail. What if somebody should find out?
BRONWYN: Well... you did sort of bring it on yourself.
HAROLD: For which I am more than prepared to make amends - within reason.
BRONWYN: Look at it this way: now Henry will owe *you* one.
Radio station studio
Henry finishes his community notices and looks across at Joe, who's sitting opposite him. Joe puts his hand to his mouth, looking pained.
HENRY (into the microphone): After this next record, I'll be introducing a brand new segment: 'Down to Earth - with Joe the Gardener!'
He puts on a record and takes his headphones off. He turns to Joe and says:
HENRY: Take your time and we'll be laughing. You set?
JOE: Yeah, no probth.
Looking astonished, he repeats in a concerned lisp:
JOE: No *probth*?!