Church hall
Scott is standing by a board with a hole on it, through which Henry has stuck his head! Scott calls to everyone that they've got a new target now and a very popular target he's going to be! He then picks up a flan case, sprays whipped cream into it and asks who wants to go first! Mike steps forward and says *he* will. Scott smiles that he should've known! Sharon and Bronwyn walk over and Bronwyn tells Mike not to hurt Henry. Mike calls out:

MIKE: Say your prayers, Ramsay!
HENRY (grins): Mike, old buddy, old mate, old pal...

Mike throws the pie - but it misses and hits the board instead! Henry laughs that that was embarrassingly useless! Sharon then has a go. She throws the pie, but it misses as well. A few feet away, Jackie walks up to Mike and he asks her how she reckons she'll go in the exam. Jackie smiles that she'll beat him - as usual! Bronwyn takes a turn to throw a pie. Jackie looks at her and asks Mike sourly what *she's* doing there: she thought the two of them had broken up. Mike replies:

MIKE: She's a friend - just like *you* are.

Bronwyn throws the pie. It comes close to hitting Henry, so he quickly pulls his head out of the hole, grinning at Bronwyn that that was rotten luck! Mike tells Jackie that he knows he and Bronwyn aren't going out anymore, but they're still friends. Sharon hands him another pie. Scott tells him cheekily to please make sure he *hits* Henry this time! Mike throws the pie - but again misses! Scott asks him if he wants another go. Mike glances at Bronwyn and Jackie and then mutters at Scott:

MIKE: Those two have seen each other. Aggro city here we come, eh?

He throws another pie at Henry - but it again misses Henry's face and just hits the top of his head! Henry bursts out laughing!

In the refreshment room, Beverly is sitting having another cup of tea and glancing across at where Madam Mangel is reading another customer's tea- leaves. Jim walks over and joins her, groaning that Katie is driving him mad about those walkie- talkies: she's convinced that Mrs. Mangel used some kind of magical powers to make sure she won them! Beverly comments that this is only supposed to be the local church fête, but Mrs. Mangel is taking herself far too seriously. Jim asks what she's done. Beverly tells him:

BEVERLY: Only made a song and dance over my tea- leaves, that's all. She wouldn't even tell me whatever it was she was supposed to have *seen*!
JIM (smiles): That's no good! You should ask for your money back!
BEVERLY: It wasn't the money; it was the way she *reacted* - as though she'd seen something *scary*.
JIM: Like what?
BEVERLY: I don't know - she wouldn't say. Just gave me some garbage about 'clairvoyance having certain responsibilities'.
JIM: That's ridiculous! You're right: she's supposed to be helping people enjoy themself, not give them the heebie- jeebies!
BEVERLY: Oh, it doesn't matter - she's probably just being her usual trouble- making self. I don't believe in all that nonsense, anyway.

Out in the main hall, Henry still has his head through the board and is calling out to people to pretend he's their worst enemy! His face is still untouched by cream! Scott and Jane are standing watching, but Jane glances across to where an annoyed- looking Bronwyn is standing with Mike and Jackie and asks Scott why Bronwyn doesn't just leave if Jackie annoys her so much. Scott explains:

SCOTT: She reckons she let Jackie get the best of her *last time*, that's all.
JANE: Yeah, well, I'm sure Mike wouldn't mind if Jackie left instead.
SCOTT: Yeah. You know, he only studies with her because she's smart.

Henry tells the next punter about to throw at him to hold his fire. He climbs out from behind the board and walks over to Scott and tells him that it's *his* go. Scott, however, puts on a fake croaky voice and replies that he can't - he's got a bit of a throat infection! He suggests that Jane has a go, but Jane says quickly that she has to find Madam Mangel! She dashes off. Henry pleads with Scott to just have a go for five minutes. Scott gives in and heads behind the board. Henry then walks over to Mike and asks him if *he'd* like a go behind the screen. Mike, however, says:

MIKE: Why's that, Henry? So you can get me back, huh?
HENRY: Geez, you're suspicious! I just need someone to help me out, that's all!
MIKE: Sorry!
HENRY: I guess I'll have to find some *other* idiot who-

He breaks off as Joe walks in! He heads over to him, leaving Jackie to ask Mike coolly how childish you can get. Mike shrugs that it's for a good cause, he supposes. He then looks at the pie board and says that he guesses if Henry can't find anyone else, *he'll* do it. He walks off, leaving Jackie to ask Bronwyn tautly if Mike told her that they'll be prac teaching soon; not together, of course, as *she's* got a horrid little public school in the city. She adds that Mike's not too pleased either, as he's worried his old Headmaster's going to give him a hard time. She goes on that it's a pity they haven't got the same school, as they get on quite well; she thinks it's because she enjoys intelligent conversation and most girls just wouldn't know where to start... Bronwyn just smiles at her pointedly.

In the refreshment room, Jane walks over to Mrs. Mangel, who's standing alone. She asks her if she's told Bronwyn and Sharon that they didn't have to move out of the house. A serious- looking Mrs. Mangel replies that she did try, but they've made other arrangements. Jane stares at her and asks if something's wrong. Mrs. Mangel replies nervously:

MRS. MANGEL: The vibrations, Jane. I've seen the future and... it's horrible.
JANE: I thought I told you not to give people gloomy predictions!
MRS. MANGEL: I didn't! I kept it to myself - but there's a dark cloud hanging over Dr. Marshall, mark my words.
JANE (warily): I hope you didn't upset her...
MRS. MANGEL: I may have a trifle, but you can't hold me responsible: providence is its own master. The world turns of its own accord.
JANE (rolling her eyes): Yeah, right. Well, I'd better just make sure she's OK.

With that, Jane heads across to where Jim and Beverly are sitting. Beverly tells Jane that there are some lovely handmade dresses she was about to see, and she asks Jane if she wants to come. The two of them head off into the main room. When they've gone, Jim gets up and marches over to Mrs. Mangel. He snaps:

JIM: I'd like a word with *you*.
MRS. MANGEL: Mr. Robinson, please don't blame me for the tea- leaves: they're out of my control.
JIM: Rubbish! It is one thing to tell Katie she's in for a bit of luck, but I will not have you upsetting my wife. She is *pregnant*, you know?
MRS. MANGEL: You should be taking special care of her, Mr. Robinson.
JIM: I always *do*.
MRS. MANGEL: *Very* special care. Just indulge me this once - *please*.
JIM (snaps): What is the use?

With that, he gets up and walks off, leaving Mrs. Mangel to murmur to herself:

MRS. MANGEL: Probably none, but it's worth a try...

Out in the main hall, Henry tells Scott that he's off the hook, as Mrs. Mangel said Joe has to help! Scott tells Joe not to worry about it: no one's scored a direct hit with *him*, so he'll be fine. He heads off to get some lunch. Joe puts his head through the board while Henry tries to spruik up some interest. Bronwyn says *she'll* have a go. She hands Henry a dollar and picks up a pie. A few feet away, Sharon, who's standing with Mike and Jackie, looks at the sour expression on Jackie's face and asks her what's up. Jackie mutters this is fine if you're a five- year- old; she'll leave the throwing to Bronwyn - she's so much better with pies. Sharon demands:

SHARON: What's *that* supposed to mean?
JACKIE: Well, she's such a domesticated little dear, isn't she? I bet she knows all *about* making pies. *I'd* rather just *eat* them.

Bronwyn, who has overhead the conversation, turns to Jackie and retorts:

BRONWYN: Yeah? Well, eat *this*.

With that, she puts the pie in Jackie's face! Sharon screams out in delight!

Church hall
A few moments later, Jackie is snapping angrily to Mike that the cream is in her hair and *everything*. Henry tells her to just go home and have a quick shower. Jackie, however, retorts that she's not going anywhere until that idiot apologises. Bronwyn just tells her to forget it. Jackie snaps at Mike:

JACKIE: Lovely friends *you've* got.

She storms out, leaving Mike to smile at Bronwyn and Sharon that he guesses she wasn't too impressed! Bronwyn says in concern that Jackie isn't going to take it out on *him*, is she? Mike, however, just shrugs and asks who cares. He adds that she's been a bit of a pain lately, anyway. He then suggests to Bronwyn that they go and have a look round some of the other stalls. Bronwyn glances at Henry and then says she supposes so. The two of them walk off, leaving Henry to say to Sharon that he wants to find someone to take over; he doesn't feel like clowning round anymore.

In the refreshment room, Scott is sitting with Jane, saying:

SCOTT: I'm going to get those two together if it *kills* me!
JANE: Yeah, they're perfect for each other. Why hasn't Henry done something about it himself, though?
SCOTT: I don't know, actually - he... I don't know... he just seems to, like, fall apart when Bronny's around. Sort of like watching Rudolph Valentino turn into Woody Allen!

Jane comments that it's a shame her nan's on her break, as they could've asked her to read Bronny's tea- leaves and tell her she was going to fall in love with someone fitting Henry's description! Scott, however, declares that he is *not* going to need a fortune- teller to get those two together. He suddenly spots Henry approaching and he asks Jane quickly if she can give him a hand with everything. Henry and Sharon join them and sit down. Henry has a pile of food on a plate and Jane asks him in surprise if he's going to eat all of it. Henry explains that he's a bit like Lennie: he eats heaps when he's depressed. Scott asks what Henry is depressed about and Sharon explains that Bronny went off with Mike. Henry asks if they can change the subject. Scott looks at Jane and then coughs. Jane asks him if he's OK. Scott replies:

SCOTT: No. Er, I don't know how I'm going to do this first- aid demo.

He coughs again. Jane suggests that maybe Henry could give him a hand. Henry murmurs that he'll do it when he's finished eating. Scott, however, leaps up from his chair and says quickly that there isn't really the time: the first- aid demo starts *now*. With that, he grabs Henry's arm and the four of them head into the main hall.

*In* the main hall, Beverly is addressing the crowd, explaining to people that she's going to start with the handiest technique of all: artificial respiration. Bronwyn is sitting on a trolley and Beverly tells the crowd that she's asked Bronwyn to be the patient because she herself was recently involved in a household accident in which artificial respiration was required - and they've got Scott Robinson who has kindly agreed to be their hero and save the patient by giving her the kiss of life. She calls to Scott to join them, but Scott coughs and says in a croaky voice that he's sorry but he seems to have got a throat infection; he wouldn't want to give it to Bronwyn. He then turns to Henry and asks if *he'd* like to do it instead. Henry says quickly that he wouldn't. Mike, who's standing with them, says *he'll* do it, which causes Henry to change his mind instantly and step forward! Mike doesn't look impressed. A nervous look crosses Bronwyn's face. She lies back on the trolley.

Jim is still sitting at a table in the refreshment room. Joe joins him and asks how things are going. Jim replies that he can't complain. He asks after Joe, who says:

JOE: To tell you the truth, things have been a bit crook lately.
JIM: That's no good. What's the problem?
JOE: Oh, there's been a bit of strife in the building game, you know? And the upshot of it is the poor old brickie cops it in the neck. Qualifications don't count for anything, do they? I mean, I may as well be a brain surgeon, you know what I mean?!

He then asks Jim if *he's* got any work he wants done, but Jim replies that they're OK at the moment. He suggests trying Des, as he's got to rebuild the Coffee Shop. A delighted Joe smiles at Jim that he might have just saved his life!

Out in the main hall, Beverly is providing a commentary as Henry tips Bronwyn's head back. She says they're now ready to begin the resuscitation. Henry stands there awkwardly. Scott hisses at him to go for it! Beverly tells the crowd that Scott is quite right: these emergencies call for immediate and decisive action. Henry sighs heavily. He follows Beverly's instructions as she says:

BEVERLY: Now, one hand over the jaw... the other keeps the head tilted back... then we pinch the nostrils shut... and we're now ready to begin to try to inflate the lungs.

Henry looks at Beverly. He then looks down at Bronwyn. He moves his head slowly towards hers. She stares into his eyes as he does so - but then she suddenly sits up, butting his head in the process! She murmurs that she's sorry, but she can't do it. Scott mutters:

SCOTT: Oh hell... I really *do* feel sick.

Bronwyn, still holding her head where she bumped it, gets up and walks off, leaving Henry and Beverly standing there looking surprised.

No. 28
It's evening- time, and Bronwyn, Jane, Sharon and Mike are sitting around on the couch at No. 28, looking at magazines and listening to music. Mike and Jane go to the kitchen area to get some drinks. Left alone with Bronwyn, Sharon comments to her sister that ever since she ran out of that stupid first- aid demonstration today, she's been in a real grouch. Bronwyn just snaps at her to shut up about it. Jane and Mike returns with some mineral water, Mike saying he wouldn't want to set a bad example by having a beer in front of his students. Sharon groans:

SHARON: I hope you're not going to be a real pain when you come to Erinsborough High.
BRONWYN (chastises): Sharon!
MIKE: Serves you right for having a schoolteacher as a neighbour!

He then asks Bronwyn and Sharon where they're staying tonight, and Sharon replies that they'll be at No. 30. Bronwyn points out that they've hardly got a stick of furniture. Mike, however, says he's sure some of the neighbours have got some old stuff they can have. Jane nods that her nan's got some of her granddad's old things in the shed. Bronwyn thanks her, but says they can't take anything from her gran. Mike tells her that she and Sharon can stay at No. 28 tonight, if they want; he's sure Des won't mind. Bronwyn thanks him. She then tells Sharon to go and see if there's anything for dinner. Looking annoyed, Sharon mutters that she's the Cinderella of this outfit! She heads over to the kitchen. Mike tells her that he'll give her a hand. Left alone with Bronwyn, Jane remarks:

JANE: You really *are* in a bad mood, aren't you! What happened? Something to do with the fête...? I thought you and Henry were getting on really well.
BRONWYN: Jane, there was a whole *crowd* watching. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would've been?

Jane nods understandingly. Bronwyn then says:

BRONWYN: The closer he got, the more I just wanted to kiss him...

No. 24
Henry is lying back on the couch as he and Scott watch TV. He sighs:

HENRY: She just couldn't stand the thought of kissing me, Scott. There I was, imagining our tender, quivering lips meeting in oral ecstasy, and all *she* wanted to do was chunder!

He mutters that his entire universe has been shattered into a thousand pieces.

No. 32
Joe is sitting with his feet up in the lounge room. Mrs. Mangel comes in with a tray of desserts and tea things and asks him if he's comfortable. Joe smiles that he's happy as a pig in muck: it was great! Mrs. Mangel smiles:

MRS. MANGEL: Well, you could eat like that all the time if you lived *here*, you know?
JOE: What have you whipped up now?
MRS. MANGEL: One of your favourites: chocolate mousse.

Joe goes to take a bowl of mousse, but Mrs. Mangel stops him and says she thought they might have a little chat first. Joe groans:

JOE: Oh, not about moving in again. Look, a bloke can't live with his mum, mum.
MRS. MANGEL: Nonsense! In many countries, families live together for generations - and since Mr. Bishop made the biggest mistake of his life, I've missed having a man around the house.
JOE: You seem to manage all right.
MRS. MANGEL: A brave front, Joe. People don't realise the financial hardship I'll be facing now that those girls have abandoned me.
JOE: Come off it...
MRS. MANGEL: It's *true*. Ever since your father left me destitute, I've had to scrimp and save. Oh, young Jane does what she can, but we'll be back on the breadline, I'm afraid.
JOE: Yeah?
MRS. MANGEL: It's a desolate picture for an old woman, Joe. I sometimes ask the good Lord what I've done; why other families pull together while others just turn their backs... Heaven knows I've tried.

Tears well- up in her eyes and Joe goes and sits next to her on the couch and says gently that he doesn't like it when she cries. Mrs. Mangel sobs:

MRS. MANGEL: I can't help it. Here you are, my only son, whom I haven't seen for twelve long, heartbreaking years, who urgently needs somewhere to live; and here am I, a mother spurned, when all she wants to do is to spoil that son and take care of him.

Joe listens and then gives in! He groans:

JOE: Oh... look... I'll shift me gear in. We'll see how it goes.
MRS. MANGEL (happily): *Would* you, Joe?
JOE (shrugs): Why not?
MRS. MANGEL: Oh, bless you, dear. Here... eat up!

She hands him a bowl of mousse!

No. 24
Henry is having a jam session with his guitar, singing about losing his girly through a strange twist of fate! Scott, however, tells him that that is not a convincing love song: he wants to make people *cry*, not laugh! Henry sighs:

HENRY: Oh, laugh, is it? Great - even when I'm suicidal, I'm funny! No wonder girls never take me seriously!
SCOTT: Well, maybe music's the problem. I don't know... you should try writing poetry or something.
HENRY (laughs): Are you kidding?! I can hardly even *spell*!!!

Scott suggests writing a letter or a short story or something. He then declares excitedly:

SCOTT: That's it! You could write a letter to Bronwyn and tell her exactly how you feel about her. She'd *love* it!
HENRY: You reckon?
SCOTT: Yeah! Girls think that's fantastic! You should do it!
HENRY (dubiously): No... I'm a gardener, not an author. I couldn't write a good love letter if I *tried*!

He then exclaims:

HENRY: Yes! Wait! I've got it! I may not be Sting, mate, but...
SCOTT: Well, come on, come on, come on...
HENRY: Scott, all I need is a ghost writer. You! *You* are going to create the perfect love letter from me to Bronwyn! Isn't that brilliant?!