- Lou badgers Karl for the finished draft of the full- length novel version of 'The Book of Secrets'
- Nate tells Chris that he'll support him if he decides to have a baby with Lucy
- Lauren tells Lou, Sheila and Paige to grow up and join forces to set up a stall for the festival
- Daniel and Amber almost kiss... then Amber and Josh actually kiss
Paige and Amber are having a bottle- throwing contest into the recycling bin, as they discuss last night's party. Amber is in a bit of a mood, but says she had a good time and thanks Paige for organising. Paige asks Amber if she detected a 'weird vibe' between Naomi and Mark.
AMBER: No. And you are way hotter than her, so don't worry.
PAIGE: That's not what I asked.
Josh approaches before they can delve deeper into the topic, and tries to bag an invite to walk to work with them - but Amber fairly coldly tells him they're going in the car. Josh walks off, and Paige demands to know what's going on; Amber admits Josh kissed her out of the blue at the party.
PAIGE: Did you set him straight?
AMBER: No! I was just in shock. But I mean, if he didn't get the message then he's surely got it now.
Paige laughs as Amber walks off.
Kyle catches Sheila doing warm- up stretches prior to her self- defence class, and reminds her she needs to be taking it easy. Sheila grudgingly agrees just to go for a walk instead. In the kitchen, Kyle tells Chris, Nate and Lucy that he's heading to the tip later if anyone has any rubbish that needs disposing of. Nate mentions that Susan was doing a clear- out, so she might have some - so Kyle heads off to talk to her.
Meanwhile, Lucy is making Chris drink a disgusting vegetable smoothie, as part of their pre- baby- making health kick. But drama strikes when Lucy gets a phone call with what appears to be some worrying news. Chris asks what's wrong.
Lou is pestering Karl for the final draft of 'The Book of Secrets', which he needs today - but Karl still has final edits to do. Lou says he has an interview with a journalist later today and needs to know what he's talking about, and he's worried he'll look like a fool if he doesn't know the book inside out. When Lou mentions possible movie rights, which are mentioned as an option in the contract, Karl gets excited, and tells Lou they'll be rich. Susan smiles knowingly to herself.
Josh comes in looking for Amber, but Paige tells him she's out making a delivery. Paige admits, however, that Amber told her about the kiss. Josh tells Paige he knows Amber has feelings for him, despite the complicated situation.
PAIGE: You think you're gonna get back together?
JOSH: Absolutely. I just need to let her realise in her own time.
As Josh leaves, Daniel comes in, also looking for Amber! Once again Paige sends him away disappointed.
Meanwhile, Sheila is trying to tell Lou about her ideas for the joint Harold's/Waterhole market stall for the festival, but Lou's distracted looking at cover art for 'The Book of Secrets'. He shows Sheila the cover, which depicts a bare male torso holding a dinner jacket.
LOU: Captures the mood perfectly. Gives a hint at what lies under the covers.
SHEILA: I don't even want to contemplate what's under any of your covers.
LOU: I was going to offer to autograph your copy.
SHEILA: Save the ink, and the book - I'm not buying.
LOU: There's always the movie, you know. Maybe George Clooney could play my character. Or do you think he's too old?
SHEILA: If he was dead, buried and decaying he'd be perfect.
Sheila marches off, telling Lou to get back to her about the food for their stall.
No 28 / Harold's Store
Karl is still working on the novel, but Lou calls him to hurry him along. Karl tells him not to worry; the draft will be with him shortly.
KARL: Just keep your shirt on, alright? We've got plenty of time.
LOU: Do you think the journo will ask me to take my shirt off?
KARL: What are you talking about?
LOU: My shirt. He might think I've posed for the cover.
KARL: Yeah, it's unlikely.
Karl tells Lou to hang up and read the finished novel, as he's just sent it over to him. Meanwhile, Susan welcomes Kyle in, thanking him for offering to take her rubbish to the tip. Susan goes to fetch some boxes from the garage, instructing Kyle that the one on the table is also for recycling. But Kyle, who appears to be in a particularly boneheaded frame of mind, takes it upon himself to clear all the papers that aren't in the box from the table, without looking at them, and add them to his recycling haul.
We learn what Lucy's bad news is, which she, Chris and Nate are talking through with Georgia. Hospital tests have shown that both Chris and Lucy are carriers for the genetic condition, spinal muscle atrophy - a motorneuronal disease with a high mortality rate, for which there's no cure yet. While Chris and Lucy don't present symptoms as they're only carriers, Georgia explains that there's a 25% chance their child will suffer from the disease. Lucy says the odds aren't that high, but Chris isn't so sure. Georgia says they need to consider whether they want to go ahead and risk passing on that gene to a child.
Sheila is unimpressed to learn that Kyle has called Harold's Store prior to her arrival, and that Paige has served her with a revolting health drink as a result.
SHEILA: Well next time he calls, tell him that my heart and my various organs are my business, and not his!
Sheila flounces out, handing the drink to Amber, who's just arriving. Paige tells Amber that both Josh and Daniel have been in looking for her, and that Josh thinks he and Amber are getting back together. Amber admits that she doesn't know whether part of her is still into Josh. Paige advises her to go and talk to him, then to come back and tell her all about it.
AMBER: Thank you. I've never had a big sister to talk about these kinds of things with.
Paige hugs her, but afterwards, Amber looks worried.
Outside Dial- A- Kyle
Kyle is driving off to the tip in his ute, but the box has opened and all the paper from the Kennedys' table is spilling out all over the road. Sheila retrieves one of the pages, and is shocked to see that it's from the first chapter of the new EM Williams novel...
Sheila bustles in and slams down the pages from 'The Book of Secrets', explaining they were all over the street.
SHEILA: And why on earth were you writing about me?
LOU: I don't know what you're talking about. All my stories are completely fictitious.
SHEILA: This is a very explicit story about a couple called Paul and Sheila, who get extremely hot and heavy in a pub's cool room!
SHEILA: It involves plastic wrapping.
LOU: Oh! Well, like I said - completely fictitious.
SHEILA: I will fictitious you in a minute!
Amber has come round to talk to Josh, but Imogen tells her he's not back yet. She reluctantly tells Imogen that Josh kissed her after the party, and thinks they're getting back together, and that now she's really confused. Imogen asks if Amber's told Daniel; she says she hasn't yet, but she still loves Daniel and doesn't want to hurt him, so she will be telling him next after she talks to Josh. Imogen says she's doing the right thing, and goes to make some tea. While she's gone, Amber finds the photo album she made for Josh in the conservatory, and looks upset.
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Lucy is telling Paul about the spinal muscle atrophy situation, in case his kids have the gene too. He says he'll make sure he talks to them, and says he's sorry to hear of this setback for her. Lucy still seems keen to go ahead with having a baby with Chris, playing down the odds - but Paul tells her to consider what the child will go through if it is born with the disease.
Nate has bought Chris a miniature ceramic pig (!) as a good luck charm for Lucy and the baby, but Chris is really worried about the potential for his child having the disease. He's not sure he can risk bringing someone into the world who's going to suffer far more than he did after his recent injury.
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Lucy admits it's scary, but says there's a 75% chance the child will be perfectly healthy. She asks Paul whether, if any of his kids had been born sick, he'd love them any less.
PAUL: No, of course not, no.
LUCY: Well neither would I!
Nate says he knows how much Chris wants a baby, and is confident he can deal with anything. But Chris says this changes everything.
Amber is looking through all the pictures of her and Josh in the photo album, when Imogen comes back in. Amber claims she's just reminiscing, then suddenly decides she can't stay - saying she has errands to run. Imogen looks worried as Amber leaves.
Karl is looking for something down the back of the sofa, when Lou comes in with the manuscript, saying Sheila found it in the street. Lou furiously reveals that he knows Karl has been using real people and their 'activities' in the book.
LOU: When people start reading what the mayor's been up to, Paul's gonna kill me! If Sheila doesn't first.
Karl reveals that he did change the names, but only in the final edit - not the version Sheila saw. He says it was easier to keep track of everyone using their real names during the drafting process.
LOU: You really wanted a mental image of what Paul and Sheila got up to in the cool room?
KARL: Sometimes you have to suffer for your art, Lou, what can I say?
Susan bursts in, also furious.
SUSAN: How could you?! You wrote about us and the Blue Box™?
LOU: Is this more of the 'suffering' you mentioned?
SUSAN: I wouldn't laugh if I were you - you're featured heavily!
Karl can't understand how the hard copy got into the street. They realise that Kyle must have taken it to the tip with the recycling, and now everyone's dirty secrets are all over Erinsborough!
Lou meets up with the journalist, Howard, but suggests they put off the interview until the book comes out. Sheila comes over and tells the journalist that the book is 'filthy, filthy lies'. The journalist is keen for Lou to give him some hints about what's in the book.
SHEILA: Oh, I've got a hint. It's a steaming pile...
LOU: It's a love story! A classic, literary love story.
HOWARD: Really? Because we've obtained a few pages, and it seems more raunchy exposé than literary classic. Blows the lid of a few private lives of local people. Including Mayor Robinson.
Lou tries to make out that the pages the journalist has must be from some impersonator. But before he can say any more, Paul himself barges in and lays into Lou, the journo gleefully making notes all the while.
PAUL: Let me make this perfectly clear to you, Lou Carpenter. If this turgid pile of shameless fabrication that you presume to call a book ever makes the light of day, I will sue you from here to kingdom come, and back again. Do I make myself clear?
Paul turns to the journo, and says if he quotes any of this, he'll go after him too - before storming back out again.
SHEILA: Oh, what a shame, eh?
Susan is in the kitchen, as Karl comes in, on the phone.
KARL: Oh yeah, why don't you say what you really think?... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatevs.
He hangs up, and tells Susan that Paul has threatened to sue, so the journey's over for 'The Book of Secrets'. He laments the fact that it will never see the light of day, as he was certain it would be a bestseller.
SUSAN: I'm sure you're right.
KARL: Maybe I could just publish it under my own name.
SUSAN: No. No!
KARL: I'd change the names of the characters...
SUSAN: Karl, have you forgotten the flack that I got at school?
KARL: Well, think of the positives here. Some of my street cred might rub off on you...
SUSAN: You haven't got any street cred!
However, Susan does admit that she was very impressed with Karl's imagination.
SUSAN: This page - yes. Now is this you, or did you borrow it from someone else?
KARL: No, actually, that's all me.
SUSAN: Really? See, that was my favourite bit.
SUSAN: Yeah. In fact, I was wondering if you would, umm... take me through your process, step by step. Because I'd be really interested to know what inspired you for this particular scenario.
She strokes his ear.
KARL: That would require a very thorough explanation.
SUSAN: I'm game if you are.
Susan walks into the bedroom, and Karl limbers up before following her in!
Daniel and Amber's former campsite
Amber walks along the grassy wasteland, flashing back to happy times with Daniel when they camped out here in his car. Then she flashes back to her kiss with Josh at the party.
At that moment, somebody steals Hermione, Amber and Imogen's car, sending Amber flying to the ground as it screeches past her!
Suite 1 Eclipse Apartments
Chris and Lucy talk about the genetic test results. Chris says there are lots of aspects of a kid's life you can't control, but that they do have the power to control this.
CHRIS: What I went through with my head injury was bad enough. And this condition could be a lifelong burden for our child.
LUCY: Well maybe not. I mean, not definitely.
CHRIS: One in four chance. Those odds are just too high for me. Knowing the risks, and what life would be like for them, I'm sorry - I can't go through with being your donor.
Lucy is distraught.
Daniel and Amber's former campsite
Shaken up from being nearly run over, Amber reaches for her mobile to call for help. First she scrolls upwards to Daniel's name in her phone, then downwards to Josh's. But before she can call either of them, someone's shadow appears next to her.
AMBER: What are you doing here? I was just about to call you. I can't believe this. I needed you and you're here.
But we don't see who it is she's talking to.
- The promo hedges its bets - is it Daniel that came to Amber's rescue, or Josh?
- Josh tells Paige that it's an awesome day for both of them, and they slap hands
- Cat is back in town, but Sonya and Toadie want to know why she lied to them
- Paul is punched in the face by an unfamiliar male assailant