- Susan angry with Paul for making her family front page news
- Ty and Rachel being fake boyfriend & girlfriend
- Lucas telling Lib to make her choice between brothers
- Dan telling Lib he loves her
- Dan revealing that he may have tried to kill Lucas
- Unsuspecting Lucas getting a Dan-shaped visitor
Lucas' Flat - Balcony
Dan lets himself in and surprises Lucas on the balcony. He apologises for almost kinda killing him in their biking days - but Lucas doesn't accept. So Dan then tells his brother to leave town and never contact Libby again. Smirking, Lucas says that Dan's just jealous because he got close with Libby first and helped her get back on the bike. A shoving match ensues, complete with headlocks, until Lucas manages to throw Dan to the ground where his shoulder dislocates. Lucas offers to help him up, but Dan struggles to his feet and recommences the wrestling, shoving Lucas a little too close to the edge for his liking. They eventually break apart and Dan begrudgingly lets Lucas pop his shoulder back in.
Lucas loiters in the doorway while Karl fixes Dan up with a sling and some painkillers. The boys have concocted a transparent story about it being a football injury, which Karl is highly suspicious of. Karl trundles off to get even more drugs for Dan while the brothers bicker some more. Lucas is annoyed that Dan's riding again when he swore he never would - Lucas would be on the pro circuit by now if it wasn't for Dan and his attempted killin' spree.
Karl passes Lucas in the hall and persuades him to come back so he can drive Dan home. Dan pouts that he's going to get a taxi and round two of the bickering bout nearly erupts when Lucas gets a phone call. Looking at the caller ID he smugly sits next to Dan and cheerfully greets Libby. Earning a glare from both Dan and Karl, Lucas says he'll have to call her back. He starts to gloat to Dan when Karl tells them both to can it - neither one deserves her.
A few minutes later, Lucas returns the call and says he can't wait to see her at dinner. Rolling his eyes, Dan announces he's getting a cab and walks off. But Libby has some bad news for Lucas - she can't see him anymore. The snazzy 24-style split screen appears, showcasing Lib and Lucas at first, but then it divides into four to show all the men in Libby's life: Lucas, Dan and Ben (still colouring in). All we need now is Jack Bauer to appear. Libby asks Lucas to meet her for coffee so she can explain properly, but Lucas is quietly hurt and shuts her down.
Carr Crash appears and asks If Libby's seen Dan - she needs budget figures from him for a board meeting ASAP. Libby offers to stand in for him, which pleases CC.
Ty is trying to escape Rebecca, who is fondling his chest to try and determine how much cash the footy club could make off him (and his pecs) for their slave auction. How did Rebecca get this glorious job, and where do I sign up? Ty claims he's shy and offers to make a donation instead but Bec the pec checker won't listen. Relenting (for the sake of the team - Go Dingoes) Ty tries to barter his way out of going bare-chested. Rebecca suggests a tank top but Ty acts like a bashful dame from 1890 and compromises with a t-shirt. A] You wear tank tops all the time, doofus, and B] There's what, like 5cm worth of sleeve to cover your modesty now? Anyway, Rebecca says she'll crack him yet and rushes off with another quick fondle of the old chestal area.
Elsewhere, Bridget confides to Rachel that Declan wanted to TITTNL™ (Take It To The Next Level) last night but she got scared. Rachel congratulates her for keeping herself on the ground floor - there's no need for her to TITTNL™ (she should know). They notice a few people staring (no, it's not Dan), and Ty shows Rachel that she's made front page news again. But this time Susan has been taken along for the ride.
Carr Crash is being uncharacteristically nice to Libby, thanking her for saving her bacon in the meeting. She also adds that if Lib's serious about applying for senior head of school then she's willing to back her application. Dan's dead to her now.
Carr Crash leaves for class just as Dan rushes in for his meeting, but Lib warily lets him know he's too late. He's pleased at first when he hears she filled in for him, but not so happy joy joy when Lib reveals that she's applying for the same job as him with Helen's blessing.
DAN: Wow you're a real operator aren't you? Brush me off then steal my job.
LIBBY: It's not your job and I've got every right to apply for it. This isn't personal.
DAN: Oh no, it is. Every man for himself, right? At least that's clear.
Susan purposefully strides in and slams a copy of the paper down in front of Paul.
SUSAN: Going for the older cover girl now I see.
PAUL: Ahh Susan, you know we really should stop meeting like this.
SUSAN: Oh I suppose I should be grateful you haven't photoshopped a bikini on to me.
PAUL: Oh darn, why didn't I think of that?
SUSAN: If I were a bloke you would be so sporting a black eye by now.
PAUL: Go ahead. I can see it now - ‘Unhinged busybody attacks disabled journalist'. Ooh yes.
SUSAN: (mocking) What journalist? Oh! You!
Susan can't believe the lengths Paul's gone to get front page news out of her family and tries to appeal to his own sense of family.
SUSAN: What if it was Elle?
PAUL: It's pointless speculating there, she wasn't the one who slept with her teacher was she?
SUSAN: (exasperated) They should lock you in a laboratory and just study you.
Paul offers her a chance of setting the record straight by allowing her to write a right of reply. Susan can see the mass editing spree a mile off, and thinks her family has already been through enough, but Paul promises he'll print whatever she gives him word for word. Front page. Susan can't help looking tempted.
Clipboard still in hand, Rebecca is pestering Toadie on their lunch break about how much Steve and Ty might fetch at the slave auction. Toadie baulks when he sees the $100 figure next to Ty's name.
TOADIE: You're crazy lady.
REBECCA: So you've never been to a men's strip club have you?
TOADIE: I was young, I needed the money.
(Rebecca's eyes bug out)
TOADIE: Just kidding!
Susan finds them so she can ask Toadie what her legal rights are re: the newspaper article (re: the re: - Rebecca has me hooked). Toadie doesn't think she has much to go on because Paul was very careful not to push too many boundaries. Susan tells them about the right of reply offer and Rebecca warns her to be careful, but Susan sighs that she wouldn't know where to begin anyway. From the beginning I guess. I hear it's a very good place to start. Or you could start with Rachel re: Rebecca's suggestion.
Erinsborough High/Number 28
Get your dancin' clogs on! It's musical montage time! Justin/e teases Rachel by smugly holding up a copy of the paper in front of her face. Didge snaps at him but Rach keeps calm.
Susan attempts to start her right of reply but has writer's block. The cursor on the blank screen winks mockingly at her but she soon gets distracted by a smudge mark on top of the monitor.
Rachel opens her locker and sees that Justin/e has pasted the front page picture of her and Susan inside with the oh so clever caption of ‘Teacher's pet!' on it. OMG! LIKE PWNED! Didge yells at them but Rachel tells her to stop so Libby (who is passing by) won't worry.
Susan has got the cleaning cloth out and is scrubbing madly at an invisible stain on the table.
Rachel and Didge sit down and Rachel gets a text from a private number. ‘DO U ONLY GET WITH OLDR GUYS.' I don't know, anonymous person, ‘DO U ONLY ASK QUSTIONS WITH MISSING LETERS AND NO QUSTION MRK.'
Susan has got out a billion more cleaning products and is almost wearing a hole in the table with all the vigorous scrubbing when she stops and wonders what on earth she's doing. Putting the cloth aside, she sits down and starts typing.
Sitting in class, Justin/e quietly taunts Rachel. Didge whips around and gives him a death stare before putting a comforting arm around her upset friend.
Meanwhile, back at lap top central, Susan is looking mighty pleased with herself.
Ty catches up with Rachel and Didge, which gains an immature reaction from Justin/e and his cronies, who are sitting behind them. Ty puffs up his pecs and tries to act manly, warning them to shut it or he'll shut it for them. But Rachel says not to worry, “It's not Justin's fault he needs a little band of followers to make himself feel tough, right?” Shutting him down further, Rachel says he's being quite pathetic. Justin/e looks surprisingly wounded by this.
TY: (scowling) Leave her alone or you'll have to answer to me.
BWAH! Oh, wait, you were serious? Sorry. You go be tough, cupcake.
Ty looks quite put out to see that Dan's injured himself and wonders what they're going to do about footy finals, but Dan says he'll be “cherry ripe by then”. Rebecca bustles in and Ty makes a hasty retreat, warning Dan to run while he can.
REBECCA: Daniel Fitzgerald what have you done to yourself?
DAN: It's a long story.
REBECCA: Who's going to buy damaged goods?!
She frets a while but then something dawns on her - people will still want to bid on Dan because he'll be a fixer-upper!
REBECCA: You're a bird with a damaged wing!
Dan cringes and says he's not interested in being auctioned off. Rebecca begs him, and Lucas (who has just walked in) encourages him to listen to the lady. Seeing fresh meat, Rebecca leaps up and proceeds to fondle Lucas' chestal area like there's no tomorrow. Dan eye rolls and Ty gives her a ‘settle down there, woman!' look. Giggling, Rebecca enlists Lucas for the auction and says that Dan will have to take the sympathy vote. Dan lets out a sarcastic, “Woo!” Lucas smirks at his brother.
Didge goes off to start homework to give Rachel and Susan a chance to talk. Susan lets her know about Paul's offer and wants her to read what's she's written, but Rachel says that anything Susan has typed up will be fine, she trusts her. Susan leaves the letter with Rachel, who can't help taking a sticky beak.
Susan's VO is heard and we see Rachel (letter in hand) find Paul sitting alone.
To you my family is just another headline. And I can understand that. It doesn't make it alright, though.
Rachel warns Paul off Susan and says that if he has to pick on anyone, then pick on her. Paul replies that it's not personal, but Rachel begs to differ. He sees the letter and starts to take it from her. Rachel reiterates her wish for him to leave Susan alone, but Paul states that he can't guarantee that. She sadly lets the letter leave her grasp, “This isn't her fault.”
Maybe when you think of your own family when you read this it might help you understand. Angus lost his career and his family. Zeke lost his sister. And our darling girl cries herself to sleep every night. But none of this has anything to do with you. So try to remember that next time a headline catches your eye. It's not your family and it's not your business.
Rachel passes Ty (who is working on his car) and finds Toadie, Rebecca, Susan and Karl standing around a large wrapped object out the front of #28. They all speculate what it could be - Toadie afraid that it could be something dangerous - but the card is addressed to Rachel. They all assume it's from Angus. Rachel opens it, sees it's a keyboard, but then tells them to send it back. Ty looks disheartened.
Rachel is trying to contact Angus but his phone has been disconnected. Ty walks in and explains that it was him who got her the gift. Confused by what he's saying, Rachel assumes that he got it for her because her “likes” her and reminds him in an upset fashion that Angus hasn't even been gone 5 minutes.
RACHEL: Ty what are you thinking?
TY: No I was just trying to cheer you up.
RACHEL: Well I can't accept it.
Ty insists that she keep it. The raised voices have Karl all concerned when he walks inside and he suggests that Ty leaves. Ty replies that he was just trying to look out for Rachel because he cares about her. Rachel looks a little surprised by this, but Ty exits quite hurt.