Bridget telling Declan that Josh is just a mate.
Carmella and Oliver kissing.
Declan trying to get the gossip about whether or not he's getting a surprise party.
Angus telling Karl that he's leaving so that Rachel doesn't have to choose between him and her family; Karl insisting that he tell her he's leaving to her face.
At the breakfast table, Rachel struggles to get through to Angus's phone. Susan suggests that he's just gone for a walk, but Rachel isn't convinced. Karl ushers in Ty, who he hopes will change the subject. Ty asks Rachel if she will play a song with him at Declan's party, which Susan is enthusiastic about, but Rachel isn't even listening and leaves to find Angus. When Karl says Rachel should go, Susan gets up to go with her, but Ty offers to look after her instead.
When they're gone, Susan interrogates Karl, who explains that Angus was going to leave so he tried to stop him.
Rachel is resentful of Ty's help, but is cut short in her whining when she opens the door to find the flat empty. She refuses to leave, thinking that something must be wrong because he wouldn't just leave her. She looks around for a non-existent note and shouts at Ty when he tries to make her see the reality of the situation.
RACHEL: You don't know anything about him and don't pretend to know anything about us, alright?
TY: I know that he's not good enough for you.
RACHEL: Don't you dare say anything like that about him again.
Ty apologises and asks where they'll go from here.
Declan is getting into the birthday spirit already, being given three cheers and blowing out a candle on his breakfast. He digs for information on the night's celebrations, but all he is told is that they're having a family dinner that will involve cake. Rebecca gives him a present which he opens to discover weekday underpants. He's slightly more interested to get a three hour session with a personal trainer from Oliver which he slyly notes will keep him away from the house for the afternoon. Elle and Bridget tell him that they haven't had a chance to get him anything yet. As Bridget leaves, Paul comes in, wishing Declan a happy eighteenth and delighting him by presenting him with a top of the line laptop. When Paul too claims no knowledge of a party, Declan begins to worry. Paul suggests that it's just that he's not invited.
The General Store
Outside, the two invalids, Bridget and Josh, are sitting together. Josh suggests that they go to the zoo afterwards. Bridget reminds him that it's not a date and that she's only there to tell him to stop messaging her. Josh doesn't see what the problem is - they're just friends - but he takes the fact that she doesn't want to contact him as a sign that there's still something between them.
Exiting the car, Rebecca promises Declan that he's getting more than just undies. He's thrilled when she offers to take him shopping so that he can choose something that he wants (within reason). Declan hops his detective skills up a notch, realising that this means he'll be away from the street all day.
His party-based musings are halted as he spies Josh putting his hand on Bridget's at their table outside the General Store. He approaches them furiously and Bridget fabricates an unbelievable story about running into Josh on her way to buy his birthday present. In the background, Rebecca raises her eyebrows. Declan isn't impressed and manages to extract the truth: Josh texted Bridget and asked to meet her, so she did. Rebecca goes to leave and Declan follows.
DECLAN: Look, Bridget, what would you think if I was in a secret meeting with my ex-girlfriend?
JOSH: (in an "I'm being helpful but I'm actually really irritating" way) That you were cheating.
DECLAN: Thank you.
BRIDGET: No, but that's not what this is!
He walks away, despite Bridget calling after him. She angrily swipes at Josh.
As if she had deliberately picked the worst moment in advance, up trots Donna with a little "surprise". She is introduced to Josh, who she greets with the question "Is that wheelchair permanent?" which is answered in the affirmative. Donna helpfully gives Bridget "this" (a piece of paper) so that she can go do "you know what". Wow, Donna has never been so enigmatic. They leave to go together to ...
The Tattoo Parlour
Bridget is an utter loon. Seriously, she cuts an extremely comical figure sitting there with her Famous Five haircut and huge snowboot-esque leg plaster, on the same sofa as Mad Donna and some hardcore, bearded, tattoo-covered dude. Donna questions Bridget about her relationship status with Josh - a "friend", a "friend friend", not a "friend", which really clarifies things.
DONNA: Do you reckon it's inappropriate to put your handbag on a paralytic's legs?
BRIDGET: He's paraplegic, and I think you passed inappropriate a long time ago.
Bridget is called through by a woman who is fortunately (or perhaps not, depending on how you view it) fooled by the fake ID.
Miranda is sorting the washing when Steve comes in, not expecting to find her at home. He tells her that she doesn't need to wash his things, despite her insistence that it isn't an imposition. He wants his boots for his costume, which makes Miranda realise that they're both planning on going to the party. Steve says that he doesn't care what people think - they need to be there for Bridget. Miranda hopes that if Bridget sees them getting along then she'll come back home, but Steve reckons that's just a pretence.
Toadie is listing the options to Karl and Susan: Rachel found Angus so they're hanging out (Susan dismisses this as Ty would have told them) or Angus wasn't there so now they're looking for him (again Ty would have told them). Just as they're continuing the discussion, Rachel and Ty come through the door. Rachel tearily informs them that Angus has gone, without saying goodbye or leaving a note.
The General Store
Carmella comes up to a forgetful Rebecca to give her change back. Oliver comes in and he and Carmella greet each other civilly. Rebecca notices the awkward vibes and Oliver admits that they kissed. Rebecca, unimpressed, reminds him that Carmella can't handle anything more than friends right now.
On her way out, she passes Paul, who she thanks for Declan's present. Paul tells her than he understands why he's not invited to the surprise party. Taking the hint, she asks if he'd like to come and he says yes, in a roundabout way.
REBECCA: Fine. It's a villains theme, so you can come as you are.
Karl and Susan are trying to empathise with Rachel and show their support. She thanks them and asks them to leave before she starts crying. When alone, she wipes her eyes and picks up her phone as if pondering something. She presses record on the video function. (Wow, phones in Erinsborough have got really snazzy.)
His phone rings and, presumably not much fancying another stint in jail, he puts it away and pulls over to the side of the road. He picks it up to see the video from Rachel.
RACHEL: Hey Angus. I love you so much, but I'm not going to cry because I don't want to seem like the weak one. I think that we both know that you're the weak one. You knew I loved you and you knew that it would hurt me if you left but you went and left anyway ... just like the coward that everybody said that you were. I suppose I should have listened. That's all I wanted to say.
Susan comes out to find Rachel looking more composed at the table. She announces that she's going to go to Declan's party and gives Susan a hug.
The General Store
Carmella is chopping in the kitchen (I swear this girl never used to be able to cook) when Oliver appears, insisting on having a minute of her time. He apologises for letting the kiss happen, but she takes equal blame. She tells Oliver that being with him helps her, but then afterwards it's harder than ever. They embrace. Half of Elle can be seen outside the door, unhappily listening to the conversation.
Bridget finds Declan working out (although there isn't a personal trainer to be seen). She tells him that it's time for his birthday presents and brings him into the changing rooms. She pulls down her shorts, which seems ominous, revealing a plaster on her lower back. She peels it off and underneath is a very raw-looking tattoo of his name. OK, I know we all saw this coming, but still, I need a moment just to revel in Bridget's stupidity. Declan is shocked, but thinks it's hot. He kisses her. She admits that it's partly to annoy her parents.
DECLAN: But you do know you're stuck with this forever?
BRIDGET: Well you're going to be stuck with me forever.
Seriously, she's such a fool. He agrees to no more jealousy. He tries again to ask if anyone's organised anything for his birthday and she acts put out that he doesn't think the tattoo is enough.
Preparations for the party, featuring a Dalek cut-out (good choice), are well underway, so Declan needn't be worried. Elle (a nurse with an eye-patch) and some pirates arrive. Rebecca isn't getting stressed, but Elle reassures her that everything is under control so sends her away to get ready. Rachel appears in very fetching witch garb, all ready to lend a hand. She goes to join the pirate band (Ty looks really awesome) and thanks Ty for his help. She offers to make it up to him by singing, but he says he's already arranged for someone else to do it. Thankfully he's kidding, so Rachel will still get her starring moment.
The General Store
Josh and Steve are having a chat about Bridget's talk at the hospital when Miranda arrives. He tries to ignore her when leaving, but she interjects that she didn't know about the talk either. Steve is still resentful that she was there anyway, making her appear the better parent. Miranda doesn't appreciate the digs and swipes that the future seems to hold and announces that she won't go to the party, so that Bridget's night isn't ruined.
Steve leaves as Donna in slutty devil attire arrives. She taps Josh on the back with her pitchfork and reminds him of their meeting that morning. He asks if Bridget's going to the same party and she tells him that it's her boyfriend's 18th. She asks Josh if he still likes her and he pretends to have just been making conversation. He asks if she has a date for the party and says no in a fluttery-eyelashes sort of way. He offers to be her date, then realises that he had something planned with friends. She tells him that he can bring them along, which seems pretty rude considering neither of them are actually good friends with the hosts.
Susan and Karl (looking utterly hilarious) arrive to be greeted by an "ironically" dressed Rebecca, who is in a Stepford Wife costume. Rebecca is beginning to worry that people aren't there yet. Someone should tell that woman to be careful what she wishes for because at that moment, Paul Robinson, "the original villain" walks through the door.
Carmella (who I think is Cleopatra) is preparing drinks with Elle. Elle asks after Chloe, having seen Oliver and Carm having a "D&M". Carmella assures her that Chloe's fine and relocates to another part of the room.
Karl pulls Rachel to the side to check that they're ok. They both hope that the ordeal will make the family relationships stronger. He tells her that he's proud of her for the way she's handled everything. Susan watches on happily as they hug.
REBECCA: Aren't you supposed to be scowling, Lady Macbeth?
SUSAN: I don't think I could today even if I tried.
Unfortunately, the gods have heard Susan and thought they'd thrust something on the scene that would wipe that smile away: Angus walks through the door (like Paul, he's felt no need to don a costume). The room goes silent and his eyes meet Rachel's.