Charlotte comes onto Frazer under the pretence of giving him therapy.
Tom tells Karl that Susan has realised getting back with him was a big mistake, so Karl threatens to hit him.
Tom tells Karl they both know he's right so Karl should hit him and really screw things up.
Tom is still goading an irate Karl, by telling him to prove to Susan who is the best man (ie by Karl hitting Tom). Karl suddenly seems to realise the stupidity of the whole situation and sighs and puts his head in his hands. He's sussed Tom out, and tells him, ‘You need this more than I do. That's why you're goading me. The only way you could look big in Susan's eyes is to make me look small.' Tom counters that Susan deserves better than a man who abandons her with no thought to her feelings.
KARL: You're absolutely right; when I did go back to London to be with Izzy and the baby, it was selfish. I am selfish.
TOM: Well, I'm glad you finally figured that out.
KARL: Yeah. Yeah. I've also figured out the problem with my relationship is my behaviour, not your return. You're irrelevant.
TOM: Susan feels strongly for me, she has admitted that.
KARL: Mm, yeah, she told me. You see, that's what committed partners do, they share things. You were there for Susan when she needed someone. Thank you for that. But I know now she doesn't love you. So, (Karl puts his hands on Tom's shoulders, quite condescendingly) thanks. I'll take it from here.
With two pats where Karl's hands were, he turns to leave, Tom looking absolutely beaten.
Law Firm/'Doctor' Surgery
Charlotte is messing around with some papers when she hears Rosie giggling and saying, ‘Stop it, I need to get this finished.' Charlotte's curiosity has been aroused and she walks towards the door. It's only then that we see that Frazer and Rosie are talking and flirting and Rosie's explaining that she has to finish Tim Collins' opening address and Frazer tells Rosie she looks sexy but Rosie is trying to keep him on the straight and narrow, so to speak, and tells him that they have to go now because Pepper's cooking them dinner. Frazer says there's tomorrow but apparently they're going to the races. Charlotte keeps on listening in as Rosie tells Frazer that he needs to go to the races eventually but Frazer says he'd be content to never go again. Rosie starts talking about she bets him Japanese food he'll love them once he gets there as Charlotte comes into the communal area and comments that Frazer hates Japanese food and once described it as food for lazy chefs. Rosie is surprised and asks if they know each other. Charlotte feigns ignorance and apologises before going back into her office, leaving Frazer to explain that they dated for a while ages ago and that he hadn't even thought about Charlotte until she showed up. Charlotte listens in as Rosie asks Frazer why he wouldn't tell her something like that. Frazer says that he didn't know she was there until a couple of days ago and the way he feels about her made it not worth mentioning. Rosie takes a couple of seconds before smiling, rolling her eyes and saying, ‘Ok, as you were,' signalling for Frazer to start caressing her again. Rosie starts giggling again and Charlotte looks annoyed.
Rachel goes to turn the page of the book she's reading and Bree stops her, even though the answers are in the back of the book. Rachel wants to be allowed to do it this once because she's had a lot on her mind. Bree tells her not to use her dysfunctional family as an excuse to cheat. Zeke comes over and claims his family isn't dysfunctional.
BREE: OK, so after your step-parents' third marriage, your stepfather discovers he's fathered another child to his ex-girlfriend.
RACHEL: Shut up Bree.
BREE: OK, so stepfather flies to London to bond with the infant, leaving stepmother to form her own kind of bond with former priest and lover Tom Scully.
ZEKE: Stop it.
BREE: So stepmother is now missing in action and so is former priest and lover and oh! So is stepfather! Just own your dysfunctionality and be proud.
Ringo comes through juggling the eggs and Rachel goes mad before Ringo hands the eggs to her. Rachel tells him he'll be lucky if he ever gets visitation rights and she'll never ask him to babysit again. Lolly comes over and asks if Zeke is there. She goes into the kitchen and sees Zeke trying to escape through the back door. She asks if he's trying to avoid her because he was supposed to tell her when he'd finished at number 30 so they could spend time with their ‘baby'. Ringo can't believe they're all getting so stressed and announces, ‘It's an egg, people.' Zeke apologises for getting sidetracked before Karl comes in and Zeke and Rachel rush to hug him. Bree explains to Karl that the kids were worried he'd hunted Tom down to give him what for for stealing his missus. Karl says nothing and just offers to take them all out for dinner. He goes off to feed the pets and things and Bree tells Rachel and Zeke that the reason he's invited all the kids is to avoid a family chat, even though Rachel thinks he seems happy enough.
Rachel can't believe how calm Karl is. Bree thinks he's like the eye of the cyclone. Ringo tells Lolly she should be locked up for that. She doesn't get it so he grabs a bit of the egg from her plate and explains that she's eating baby salad, much to her disgust. Karl brings over an assortment of orange juice and some weird fluorescent green liquid and tells them all he hopes they've left room for dessert because they can order whatever they want. Bree is surprised; it's not like Karl to be so ‘spendy'. Rachel gets a text message from Susan which tells them that she's with Libby and is missing them lots along with three kisses. Apparently that's one for each of them. Bree is really in some sort of sarcastic mood because she explains that one of the kisses is probably for Audrey because ‘she really loves that dog.' Zeke suggests Karl call her but he's not into it – Susan needs time away and she'll ring him when she's ready. Karl goes off to get the dessert menu and bumps into Tom on his way. The kids decide the men are at war and Zeke decides that Tom has no right to cause that trouble for them so Rachel, Bree and Zeke decide Tom needs to be taught a lesson, but Lolly's not into it because he's their principal.
Outside the General Store
Paul puts some change onto a tray thing and tells the waitress to keep the change for his food. A teenager comes over and tips his newspaper onto the floor deliberately. He picks it up, gives it back to Paul and as he does so grabs the plate of food. Paul runs (well, hobbles) after him and tells him it took every last cent he had. The teenager asks if he's going to have to get some cash out of the bank. Paul tells him he doesn't have any money in the bank. The teenager asks who if he's all show. Paul explains he's still got his dignity when the teenager tips it onto the floor and then says he was going to share it with him and tells him he doesn't look like he's ever been hungry in his life and doesn't actually look like he's got any problems at all.
PAUL: Now you listen to me. I am broke, do you understand? Broke. I've lost everything I've ever worked for and on top of that I've just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
The teenager doesn't appear to care in the slightest and simply thinks that he really is having a bad day, isn't he?
Law Office/'Doctor' Surgery
We see a computer screen with a message asking, ‘Are you sure you want to remove the folder ‘Tims_Opening' and move all it's contents to the Recycle Bin?' The mouse moves and selects yes and then we see that it's Charlotte who is sitting at the computer. She quickly walks back into her office as Rosie and Frazer come in, Rosie saying she just needs to send a file over to Tim.
Charlotte comes back out of her office and says the could have a bit of a problem, the computers have gone haywire and she's just lost a whole load of files she's been working on. Charlotte tells her to check hers but Rosie thinks it'll be fine because she hasn't saved anything important to the network drive. Charlotte claims she wasn't working on the network either but still lost a whole load of files. Rosie thinks it's weird and finds that her opening address for Tim is gone. I have to just say, as an aside, that I find it extraordinary that nobody bothered to check the recycle bin where the file clearly is. I mean, I know it's all for the purposes of the storyline but come on, some basic realism please.
Frazer asks if she's sure and Rosie says of course she's sure. That's strange, because as we've established, it actually hasn't. Frazer asks if she can redo it and Rosie says yes, but it'll take her ages. Rosie apologises – they're going to be late for the races. Frazer is pleased but then changes and makes out he's a bit disappointed. Rosie suggests he go and have breakfast at the Scarlet Bar and she'll join him. Charlotte milks the whole thing and says what a shame it is and how computers are supposed to make things easier. Frazer comments jovially about how he's all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Then we see into Charlotte's office, where she's reapplying her lipstick.
Paul is telling this teenager about when Elle announced her engagement to Oliver was a sham in the middle of their party. The teenager laughs and explains that he doesn't do sympathy. The teenager says Paul should be proud after all those years of teaching her to be hard and not let her emotions get in the way. Paul asks if the teenager thinks he should tell Elle he's going to die. The teenager wonders where the lesson would be and if she finds out after the event she'll live with her guilt for the rest of her life but if he goes running to her now he'll be remembered as sad, pathetic Paul.
Really randomly, the teenager runs over to some random little family and starts calling out to them that he's starving and has a terminal illness and they're his last hope in the world. The family ignores him and the teenager turns back to Paul and tells him that when he holds his hand out for people's charity, he's letting the world know he's given up. The teenager says that Paul is the only one who can fight back. Paul claims that he has nothing to fight with. The teenager asks if Paul always had money and power. Paul says no, not always. The teenager asks where that man has gone, the one who saw what he wanted and took it. Paul explains that man isn't dying of a terminal illness.
TEENAGER: That's the thing that makes you a very dangerous player. What have you got to lose by taking one last role of the dice?
Charlotte comes in and comments on the fact that Frazer is still waiting. Frazer reckons Rosie won't be too much longer but Charlotte reckons she was pretty under the pump when she left. Frazer wants to stick around just in case. Charlotte then goes on to apologise for her big mouth – she didn't expect Frazer to keep their past from Rosetta. Frazer explains that he's not kept anything from her, it was just so long ago he didn't think to mention it. Charlotte offers to buy him a drink but Frazer calls it as his shout. Charlotte asks if he can remember what she drinks but he can't. Charlotte tells him he hasn't changed since the first night he tried to chase after her. Frazer doesn't remember it like that so they banter about who came onto who before Frazer says he was surprised to see her again and didn't know she had it in her to become a doctor. There's something about Frazer's tone that suggests to her and to me that he's really not buying her as any kind of doctor so she changes the subject back to the drink.
The kids are laughing as Lolly tells them to wipe the board. Rachel refuses. Tom walks in and the class start giggling. He looks at the board where someone has written, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery'. Tom asks Ringo to clean the board and Bree comments that phase one is complete. Rachel starts to say something about phase two but Tom has spotted the pins on his chair and sarcastically says thanks for those and for the prawns in the bin in his office, which were definitely off. He asks for a volunteer to update on the baby egg project. Zeke offers and stands up to say his piece.
ZEKE: Lolly and I have been looking after our baby egg like good parents. We've even had Ringo babysit a couple of times.
RINGO: Thank you, thank you!
ZEKE: But he knows when to back off. Most people know that you should never come between a family with kids. Not only is it selfish, but it shows no respect.
TOM: Thank you Zeke.
ZEKE: No respect for the importance of family.
TOM: Sit down, Zeke.
ZEKE: Does it Tom?
ZEKE: People have no right to barge in and ruin everything!
TOM: Get out, Zeke.
ZEKE: How about you get out!
Zeke throws the egg at Tom, who ducks so the egg hits the blackboard.
After the break, we're back at the school where Tom is in the classroom explaining to Karl (as it turns out) that he can take the pins on the chair and the prawns in the bin but he can't ignore Zeke throwing something because it's a violent act. Karl apologises to Tom and asks for a moment with Zeke. Tom leaves the classroom and Bree and Rachel explain that the prawns and pins were them, not Zeke. Tom says he'll deal with them after school but it's none of their concern so they should get on with whatever they're supposed to be doing. Rachel points out that it's her stepfather and her brother, so it's her business. Ringo adds that they're Zeke's mates so they're staying. Tom allows Rachel to stay but sends the others packing.
Karl is telling Zee that he realises things are out of whack but questions the need to resort to such behaviour. Zeke thinks that someone has got to because Karl's not doing anything when he should be fighting for Susan and not letting Tom win. Karl explains that there's nothing to fight about. Zeke asks if ‘nothing' is what their family means to Karl and adds that Susan has gone away and Karl doesn't care. Karl counters that Susan has gone away for a lot of reasons – yes mostly because of him but she's not choosing between him and Tom (you hear that people?). He adds that he loves Susan more than he ever has and she loves him: probably a little less than she used to but that's temporary. He finishes by saying that neither he nor Susan would let anyone come between them. Zeke asks how Karl knows. Karl suggests that it might be thirty years of experience and hugs both the kids as he tells them they have nothing to worry about and asks them if they think he'd let a catch like Susan get away again.
Frazer's on the phone saying how he doesn't mind, he can do the races another time and he'll see her at home soon. He tells Charlotte he wasn't really looking forward to the races but he wishes that missing them wasn't at Rosie's expense. Charlotte asks if he's gone off horses and tells him he was always better at cards but she bets she could still beat him at Blackjack. She goes off to the bar to ask if they've got any cards as Ringo and Lolly come in so that Ringo can get some money off Frazer for a milkshake for him and Rachel. Lolly sees Charlotte at the bar with a pack of cards before Charlotte comes back and tells them they didn't have any cards. Ringo goes off and Lolly follows him, although she hangs at the door enough to hear Charlotte suggest she and Frazer go back to number 30 and play.
The kids come in and Zeke's saying that he's cool with his detention but he isn't pleased that Karl made Zeke apologise to Tom. Rachel says they all got detention for the pranks but Bree points out that Lolly didn't. Zeke explains that Lolly didn't do anything. Ringo thinks it sucks Rachel got detention but it's good for him because he had detention anyway and now he has someone to hang out with. He offers to buy her a milkshake and gives her a piggy back across the store. Zeke offers to give Bree a piggyback but she looks disgusted and asks what they're going to do next with Tom. Zeke says that Karl's going to deal with it but thanks her for backing him up with Tom. Bree tells Zeke he doesn't need to thank her because that's what best friends are for. Zeke thought they were more than best friends so Bree asks what he's talking about. Zeke goes in to kiss her but Bree asks what's gotten into him so he runs off Rachel has seen this and comes over, and tells Bree she didn't think they were the kissing couple. Neither did Bree.
The teenager, who I've now decided I'm just going to refer to as Fox, which is his name, thinks Lassiters must have been a nice earner and wonders why Paul would ever sign it away to anyone. Paul writes it off as a moment of madness – he trusted Elle. Paul thinks he can get Lassiters back; he did it once so he should be able to do it again. Fox tells Paul that he needs to fight dirty because he doesn't have much time. Paul thinks he needs money but Fox tells him that information is power because Paul knows how Lassiters works and could do damage by ‘tweaking a few critical arteries' and asks if Elle knows how to stop bleeding. Paul gleefully replies that Elle knows nothing. Fox suggests that Elle would run back to daddy for help but Paul's not sure he could destroy his own daughter. Fox says it's not destroying her, it's creating a few temporary problems that Paul will help her fix.
Law Office/'Doctor' Surgery
Rosie finally sends off Tim's opening and turns her attention to Lolly, who has been waiting to speak to her. Lolly asks what Rosie thinks of Dr Stone and Rosie thinks she's ok. Lolly asks if Rosie knows she's in the bar with Frazer. Yes, Rosie does and is pleased she's keeping him company. Lolly asks if Rosie knows that Charlotte is chatting Frazer up. Rosie wants to know what makes Lolly say that. Lolly explains that she got cards from the barman and then told Frazer they didn't have any. Rosie wants to know why she would do that. Lolly explains that they went back to number 30 to play a cosy game of cards. Rosie says they're old friends and that cards means cards and a chat about old times and that maybe Lolly is reading too much into the situation. Lolly leaves and Rosie looks a bit disconcerted.
Charlotte's dealing the cards or something and Frazer says something it not being high stakes. Charlotte says it could be if he wanted but Frazer wants to know about the sick people she should be treating. She says she's taking a mental health day and can't think of a better way to spend it because playing cards with Frazer brings back some very good memories. Frazer concedes that they were a good team. Charlotte is on the seduction streak – remembering how mesmerizing Frazer was when he used to control a card table and she doesn't get a thrill like that out of lancing boils. Frazer thinks Charlotte should be proud of what she's done and she claims she is, but she misses having a strong, independent man around and it's hard for any man to stand up to the standards he set. Frazer looks a bit coy so Charlotte breaks the moment (including her stroking the back of his neck) by telling him to jump up and grab the other deck to make the game a real challenge. It takes her a second to realise what she's said when she apologises profusely before she explains that Frazer is still the guy she knew and nothing can ever change that and she wants a chance to prove that to her.
Karl is sat in the garden, Audrey on his lap, making a video message for Susan and explaining that it was better to make a video message so she could see his face which, apparently, is important.
KARL: You've always said you can read me, and I need you to know how much I mean what I'm going to say. I understand why you need time away. I assumed that you were fine with my trip but… well, that's something we can talk about when you get back. I certainly will never assume again that this is not difficult for you. I can't believe I did that from the start but I do realise it now. So you just take as much time as you need, please know that I love you and I'll always be here to talk about everything… when you do decide to come back. I know how lucky I am to have you… and I miss you and I will see you whenever that may be. I love you Susan.
By the end of the message, it seemed like Karl was trying harder and harder to hold back the tears, but mainly it was just him getting really emotional.
Charlotte is leaning in towards Frazer and trying to coax him into bed, saying it'll be just like old times and reminding Frazer he'd said they made a good team. Frazer meant at the card table but Charlotte thinks it was in so many other ways. At this point, she goes right in for the kiss, only for Frazer to push her away and tell her he's with Rosie. Charlotte says she can make him forget about her. Frazer doesn't want to forget about her because she means everything to him. Charlotte reckons he's spent most of the day flirting with her. Frazer replies that if that's how it seemed, he's sorry, and it's been really great catching up but things are different now. Charlotte thinks he means boring but Frazer says no, just different – he knows they used to be crazy but it's in the past. Charlotte tells him he's pathetic and gets up to leave as she explains that she was only being kind before – he's not even half the man he used to be. Frazer asks her to leave. Charlotte tells him she's going; she doesn't want to sit there and slowly die of boredom next to him.
CHARLOTTE: Don't get up. Oh, that's right. You can't!
Charlotte goes towards the door and hears that Rosie is coming in, so she quickly pulls out her shirt and undoes her top couple of buttons so that when Rosie comes through the door she's doing her shirt up and playing the innocent, that she didn't mean for it to happen and she's sorry. Rosie's face is like, ‘huh?!' and Charlotte leaves.
In the living room, Frazer looks up to see Rosie looking at him questioningly/slightly accusatorily.