Frazer telling Pepper he fell in love with Rosie after he moved into number 30; Pepper not believing him.
Karl telling Susan Katya shouldn't come back to number 28.
Paul and Rosie eating each other's faces; a Lassiters worker springing them.
The Scarlet Bar where Paul is a Damn Good Actor
Lyn and Elle are pleased that Paul is safe and well, and Paul promises to up the security in the cellar! He admits that he opened a bottle of wine and savoured every drop whilst he was down there! Rosie comes in, sees Paul and - unseen by everyone but Frazer - leaves again. Frazer chases after her.
Karl wants to send Christmas emails, but Susan insists on sending charity cards so that someone benefits. Susan and Karl debate the really important issues of Christmas - ham or turkey? It appears they agree on turkey, but one can't be sure.
Susan has got presents for Rachel, but she has no idea what to get for Zeke, so Karl - who is busy looking for jobs in the paper - says he'll get Zeke's present. That idea is bad on so many levels. Remember the *awful* animal print knickers and bra he got for Susan that time?? Or the star he bought for Libby?? Or the new giant and chavvy wedding ring he bought Susan when Darcy stole hers?? Or the one-piece black leather cat suit he bought Susan ten years ago and made her wear for three days?
Susan wants to know what they should get for Katya; she doesn't know if Karl would want to be involved.
KARL: Katya is family. And if she gets bail, then she'll be here for Christmas. But I was thinking that rather than get her a present, perhaps we should offer to help with rent on a flat.
I love him. I love him so much I want to kiss him. Susan is impressed that he's given this some thought, and starts to go Christmas shopping. On her way out:
SUSAN: Are you job hunting?
KARL: Yeah. You never know what Santa might bring me for Christmas.
SUSAN: Well you've certainly been a good boy. You might want to avoid the Musicians Wanted section, love.
Number 30 where there is No Ned. Hurrah.
Rosie is curled on the sofa, cold. Frazer comes in and places his jacket over her, promising that he's not trying to crack onto her. He admits he was worried for her last night, and she almost believes him! He tells her that she has a lot of people who care about her, and Rosetta can't be bothered to work out what game he's playing. So Frazer confesses that he's moving out - he thinks it's best for everyone.
Elle arrives - she asks Rosie how she is, before wanting to talk in private. Frazer scarpers, and Elle demands to know what happened in that cellar.
Number 24 where there is Real Irony
Dylan, Sky and Harry are making Christmas decorations, and hunting through old ones. Dylan can't believe that Sky likes the Angels - he thinks that's a glaring inconsistency in her character.
I won't even go into the irony of that statement given the continuity in this episode. Or lack thereof.
Harry is thrilled that little Kerry has brought the spirit of Christmas back into the house, and Carmella and Will arrive to help put up the tinsel. Harry can't focus on decorations because he has to do his tax return.
HARRY: David used to do it.
PING! Old Character Mention (OCM) 1. Carmella suggests that Will's dad could help - he's an accountant. Will agrees, although with some apparent reluctance. Sky asks Carmella how she's feeling about her hospital appointment, later, and Carmella admits she's a little nervous.
Number 30 where Elle Knows Best
Rosie tells Elle that her and Paul opened wine, drank it, and talked about their families. Elle doesn't believe her - it was a long night, and it was cold, and she knows her father and what he's capable of.
ELLE: So if last night he behaved as badly as he usually does, then...Lyn has a right to know.
ROSIE: Paul didn't come onto me, Elle.
Frazer is listening outside the lounge.
ROSIE: And he made it very clear that he loves Lyn, deeply.
Elle is pleased, and thanks Rosie for her time. Rosetta puts her face in her hands, and as Frazer walks up behind him and goes to put his hand on her shoulder:
ROSIE: Go away, Frazer.
Number 22 where Paul has passed No Test of Any Kind
Lyn is measuring Paul for his wedding suit, and pinning things. She loves him, and isn't surprised that women find him irresistible. Paul tells her it might be true but he's passed the test - Rosetta was sent to tempt him, and he passed with flying colours. What a liar. Mind you, the man's 'loved' Isabelle, Gail and Lyn all in the last few months, so I suppose one can't expect him to be truthful now. Lyn tells Paul that she passed the test, too - she never once thought he'd be unfaithful to her. They get all kissy, and there's a knock at the door - it's Susie.
Susan has come to steal Lyn - less than forty eight hours til the big day, and they should go and be pampered. Paul says he'll have a nap and pick Oscar up at 1230 - oh, and can Susan please make sure that Lyn spoils herself with her credit cards!
Sadly, not Susan's.
Karl comes in the house to hear women in the bedroom (get your mind out the gutter):
LYN: Oh, Susan, it's g...it's very raunchy!
SUSAN: You're on your honeymoon! Where else do you get to show off your...
But we'll never know what Lyn will be showing off because Susan and Lyn emerge from the bedroom to see Karl. Lyn immediately hides a peach satiny thing behind her back. It didn't look raunchy at all to me. Susan explains to Karl that she's taking Lyn to a day spa for some wedding pampering, as she got sick of shopping.
How does anyone get sick of shopping?!
Susan notices that Karl has been to the deli; Karl explains that he's got a business meeting with Ned, and no, not about Oodles o' Noodles - for which Susan is very grateful. Karl has ideas for Ned's fitness business - maybe taking it to Perth? Or somewhere very very very far away? Sadly not.
Susan and Lynnie leave for their day of pampering.
Which with any luck will involve a leather cat suit.
Number 22 where it Started With A Kiss
For one horrible moment it looked like Elle was kissing Rosetta, but it turns out it's Dylan. I'm not sure whether that's a slight on Dylan or Rosie. But hey.
Sky comes in without knocking, and asks Dylan if he could have Kerry for a couple of hours whilst she prepares her folio for an interview for a job at a graphic design company. Dylan agrees and Sky leaves. Elle thinks this is great - they could get Kerry a pink satin nappy for the wedding. Dylan doesn't think that's a great idea at all.
Number 30 where I Can't Believe It's Frazer
Carmella asks Rosie what happened last night and Rosie once again says she was locked in a cellar, but admits that she has a thing for Paul. And seeing how much he truly loves Lyn has meant she knows she's kidding herself, that she fantasised about him because she can't have him. So she needs to get realistic about who she wants to be with - and that's Frazer.
Carmella is thrilled, but Rosetta looks less than chuffed at her own little epiphanic moment.
Frazer is packing up his stuff, and Carmella phone goes, so she leaves to answer it. Rosie takes the opportunity to tell Frazer not to go - but to have dinner with her later instead.
Number 24 where it's a Tough Choice
Sky and Harry are testing a baby intercom system, which can only mean that someone's going to overhear something later - spot the plot device. This happened with Elly in 2002. Although I honestly can't believe that they haven't gotten one of those already; does she never leave Kerry in another room, ever??
Camella comes home, and she's been on the phone to the convent. Apparently, she *can* go back to the convent if she'd like to if she hasn't broken her vows. So now she has a dilemma: God or Will?
Oooh - Tom Scully flashback.
Karl and Ned are eating food and talking about a business proposition. Ned has said fewer than four sentences and Karl gets up and walks away.
I know the feeling, only I can't walk away because I'm supposed to summarise.
Karl stares at the painting of the Kennedy kids on the wall. The horrible one that I hate because they all look distorted. Karl tells Ned he's thinking of getting a painting of the Kinski kids to put next to that one. He says he can't get the same artist because Helen Daniels died a few years ago. PING! OCM 2. My my, that has to be a record of some sort.
Karl thinks maybe he could paint it himself if he took some painting lessons, and he admits that he's not interested in a business with Ned; after all in ten years' time he'll be sixty. ARGH! No! Inaccurate POC here! Karl was born in 1955, and Susan one year after him, so in ten years' time he'll be sixty one! Tut tut!
Karl realises that what he really needs right now is a holiday and some art classes. Wow. Wish my life were that easy.
Number 24 where Sky has NPS
Elle and Dylan come in to pick up Kerry, and Dyl goes into the garden to see Sky. His conversation with Sky is heard on the intercom, where Elle is listening. Sky doesn't want Kerry left alone with Elle - after all, she lost Oscar once. Elle runs out the house. Sky and Dylan's conversation continues, and they both admit that Kerry should stay with family at the moment, new parent syndrome and all, totally understandable.
The Kennedy House where no-one answers the Continuity Phone
Karl is lying on the sofa, his head hanging off the end, with his music on. Susan comes home and turns it off.
SUSAN: I really don't know what elephants see in mud baths.
KARL: They're cooling, I think.
SUSAN: I found it strangely exhausting. How d'you get on with Ned?
KARL: Er, yes. Good. I'm gonna give him a hand.
SUSAN: Oh, I thought you were going to go into business together?
KARL: Well, yeah. I got bored with the idea.
Susan looks less than thrilled.
KARL: I mean, we were halfway through a discussion, and I just went off it.
Again - I know the feeling.
Karl tells Susie-Q he doesn't need to work right now. He needs to think and learn. Painting and gardening, preferably. And astronomy. He asks Susie if she remembers that star that Drew gave Libby? Susan doesn't say 'yes' but that's probably because - hello! POC! Karl gave Libby that star for her birthday, not Drew. I'm shocked Karl doesn't remember that, and I'm even more shocked that Alan Fletcher didn't remember and point it out! That was a 1998 storyline - how could he not remember?!
About the star:
KARL: I doubt I could even find it. Isn't that a shame?
KARL: Yeah. I mean it's just wonderful to have the luxury of time. Last two hours I've done nothing but think and listen to music. It's been marvellous.
SUSAN: That's fantastic darling, I'm really thrilled for ya. Didn't occur to you at any time to, oh I don't know, maybe clean up your filthy mess, or bring the washing in? Hey - maybe make a start on dinner, that would have been a radical move wouldn't it -
KARL: One thing I did think about is something you've been avoiding.
KARL: Next week. It's the anniversary of your marriage to Alex.
PING! OCM 3. Not one I particularly welcome, but I'll live with it because it's Karl and Susan and a nice moment between them.
Susan looks down and away and is quiet.
KARL: So I...I took the liberty of booking you and the kids into a restaurant on Christmas Eve. Verechiaro. Zeke's always talking about it.
SUSAN: ...cos it's Alex's favourite restaurant.
She's all quiet and glassy eyed and touched.
SUSAN: It's a lovely idea.
SUSAN: You'll come...
KARL: No, no, no no - just the Kinskis. I'll have you all on Christmas Day.
Susan touches Karl's face and quickly makes an excuse to get the washing in.
*I* think she went outside for a cry, and I'm resentful we don't get to see it.
Number 22 where it's just How They're Written
Elle announces to Lyn and Paul that they were right all along - Dylan doesn't care about her. *Slight* overreaction, Elle! She thinks Dylan can go to hell, but he actually went across the street to their house, so that's a bit unfortunate.
Paul and Lyn make a hasty exit to pick up Oscar, and Dylan has Kerry in his arms. Elle tells Dyl that she heard what Dyl and Sky said over the baby monitor. Dylan tells her that they're just new, paranoid, first time parents who are clingy. But Elle thinks there's more to it than that. She loves him, but he doesn't love her back - so it's over.
That feels a little bit unreasonable to me, but then she is a Robinson. And that's how Robinsons are written.
Erinsborough Hospital because it's a Good Excuse
In an excuse to use the new set again, Carmella comes out from her appointment to see Will waiting for her. The consultant wants to see her again next week - the scarring could be permanent. Will tells her she's still beautiful, and they're still going away next weekend. So Carmella has to confess - she's thinking about returning to the convent.
Why can't Ned say lines like that and make my day??
The Scarlet Bar where Rosie can't Act Normally
Lynnie and Susie are drinking at a table at the bar. Lyn is surprised at Karl giving up medicine, but Susan defends Karl, saying he'd be a good house husband - he can cook and he'd have more time for the kids.
Paul and Elle come in. Ned and Will are talking at the bar - Will thought Carmella was the one, but now God is in the equation. He loves her?? They've been dating for, what - a few weeks?? Seriously, when did relationships and the word 'love' become so casual??
Rosie and Frazer turn up - gosh, it's a night for RSRs at TSB, isn't it? Rosie sees Paul, and thinks that maybe she and Frazer should eat at home instead. Well, that's a surefire way to look suspicious. Can't you act normally in front of Paul just to prove a point? Nope - she's gone.
Elle notices Rosie's hasty retreat, and questions her father again, who denies doing anything with Rosetta.
At the other table, Lyn and Susan toast new beginnings and drink their usual glasses of white wine.
Number 30 where the Secret's Out. Didn't take long, then.
Frazer and Rosie arrive home - she will cook spaghetti. They banter about pasta, as one does, and Rosie tells Frazer that she's sick of being a good girl, and she pounces on him. Frazer pushes her away - he's been trying to hit on her for ages, and was shameless about it. But now he realises he really does care for her a lot, and he won't take advantage of her when she's upset. Something happened in that cellar - and she needs to tell him about it. Now.
(Alright, alright. The one-piece leather cat suit that Susan was dressed in ten years ago is all in my mind, but I'm sure it happened off screen.)