Zeke is left heartbroken when Pepper tells him she loves Frazer
Frazer agrees to going camping and hunting with Steiger
Carmella sees her scarring for the first time and reacts badly
Loris tells Harold that she swapped Anne for Bree because she couldn't stand Janelle being Anne's mother.
Loris tells Harold that it was a spur-of-the-moment thing and she'd do anything to take it back. Harold doesn't understand why she'd do that to her own grandchild. Loris explains that Janelle despised her so much that she wouldn't let her see her grandkids (and Kimbo wouldn't stand up to her). She wanted to get to know this grandchild and be part of its life but, when she got to hospital, Janelle point blank refused to let Loris see her and said she'd never be part of their lives. Something snapped within Loris; she was in the nursery with her granddaughter and the other baby girl and she swapped the wristbands. Harold shakes his head, hardly believing his ears. Loris emphasises that she wanted to give her grandchild a chance – she couldn't bear the thought of Janelle ruining her life.
She's tearful as she tells Harold that she tried to fix it up when she realised what she'd done but it was too late! Harold insists that she could've owned up and stopped a lot of heartache and pain. Loris says she would, if she could turn back the clock. The shame she has lived with has been burden enough.
She tries to get him to understand what made her do it – all the isolation, frustration – but Harold is still disapproving. She understands his reaction and asks if he could possibly forgive her.
Frazer clings onto Will as Steiger aims badly and shoots an arrow into a tree. As Steiger goes ahead of them to try again Will suggests that Frazer pretend to have the flu but Frazer reminds him that he could be bleeding from a major artery and Steiger would still tell him to ‘stop whining'.
They find Steiger who has collected up his arrows. He asks which one of the ‘ladies' wants to do the honours; Will and Frazer point at each other. Steiger tells them they'll work it out while they keep on moving.
Frazer asks Will how they get out of this – he can't shoot a wild pig! Can he? Unfortunately Will is just as useless. Frazer tries to bribe him but Will's not budging.
STEIGER: C'mon, doll (?)!
FRAZER: I'm coming!
STEIGER: I'm talkin' to the dog, you idiot!
He asks who's next to take his crossbow. Frazer volunteers Will but Will starts to ramble on about not being comfortable with bloodsports. Steiger asks him if he eats meat (affirmative) then tells him to stop being a hypocrite; he hates these city kids who think meat comes prepacked in a polystyrene tray!
WILL: I do respect your philosophy, sir. It's just I have my own beliefs too.
Steiger relents, leaving ‘Willamena' in charge of the camp (including digging a ‘very deep' pit toilet – what fun!). ‘Fiona' tries to return to camp with ‘Wilma' but Steiger calls him back – he's part of the hunt.
STEIGER: Or are you a wimp – like him?
Frazer says no. The dog picks up a scent so Steiger hands Frazer the crossbow and teaches him how to hold it properly, although poor Frazer looks desperately out of his depth.
Tearstained Loris apologises Harold for burdening him with her massive secret. Harold prefers to hear the truth. Loris admits she felt like a fraud and couldn't bear him thinking she was something she wasn't. Harold looks at her for a moment then tells her he understands it was very difficult for her to tell him but, after hearing it, he's appalled.
LORIS: I'm so sorry, Harold.
She leaves and Harold stands in deep contemplation.
Pepper is lamenting the fact that just as she and Rosetta are about to make a move on their guys they take off on them! Rosie thinks it might be for the best as she probably would've made a fool of herself in front of Will. Pepper says she has to take the plunge sometime (the longer she leaves it, the harder it'll be).
ROSIE: I don't think I'm built for romance.
Pepper asks if she's serious; under the corporate matron look she's actually hotty-hot-hot! Rosie looks unconvinced. Pepper can't wait until Frazer sees her in her brand new lingerie. He'll want her bad when he returns from the trip, more macho and manly than ever!
Steiger has one of the best behaved dogs in the world, who sits immediately when he tells her to. Steiger approaches Frazer, who's standing, crossbow poised, at the oinking grunting mass of movement beneath a thick cluster of shrubbery. Steiger identifies it as a healthy sow and tells him to take the west flank – if he sees a clean shot, take it! Frazer looks like he should be sending out SOS signals but Steiger pushes him towards the pig, relentlessly.
Rosie is saying how Frazer doesn't seem the outdoorsy type but Pepper is adamant he is – and, if not, Steiger will bring it out in him this weekend. Then he'll be the perfect man.
ROSIE: Just like your father?
Pepper thinks that sounds weird but it wouldn't be so bad if he was like Steiger. He'd be strong and reliable but a pussycat underneath.
Steiger and Frazer are crawling along the ground.
PEPPER: He's tolerant –
Steiger tells Frazer to get up and take a shot.
PEPPER: …and kind.
Steiger tells Frazer to shoot now as the sow won't hang around all day to wait for them.
PEPPER: Dad will really take Frazer under his wing this weekend…
Steiger tells Frazer to go now. When he doesn't Steiger slaps him on the head, severely messing up his hair and denting his ego. Frazer launches the arrow, almost against his will.
Pepper believes Frazer will be desperate to become a part of her family when he returns.
Steiger wants a dazed Frazer to go and check if they have a hit, but poor Fraze is too shell-shocked to go. Steiger takes the crossbow from him and goes off to find out himself. Frazer collapses to the ground and curls into a foetal position.
FRAZER: Find a happy place. (pauses) Find a happy place…
He looks like he might cry.
Bree and Rachel are discussing the whole Stingray-isn't-Kerry's-natural-father-after-all thingo as Zeke trails along behind them. Rachel thinks Scotty might be quite relieved once he gets used to the idea – he isn't ready for fatherhood. Bree tells her that Stinger is still sober and Rachel is glad – if she had one wish it would be that Stingray was happy forever. Bree asks if this means she'll give Scotty another chance but Rachel doesn't say a word, which Bree takes as a no. Rachel says she'll always love him but she can't go back. Bree guesses that people just drift apart – and points to Zeke in this regard.
Zeke says he hasn't drifted (Bree thinks he has, ever since he went ‘all up himself'.)
ZEKE: Is that right (airquotes) Trinity? (end airquotes)
Bree says it is – who does he think he is falling for Miss Steiger?
Cue Pepper and Rosie walking onto the street from number 30. Zeke tries to hide behind Bree and Rachel as Rosie looks across the street, thinking she spots Carmella. As they walk off Bree tells Zeke that if he liked girls his own age he wouldn't feel like such a loser now. The girls spot Carmella and being to walk over.
Over by Carmella's cab Pepper asks how she's out and Rosie says she would've picked her up from hospital if only she'd called.
Bree and Rachel say they're glad to see her back. Carmella self-consciously tucks her hair behind her ear, saying it's good to be back. Rachel and Bree stand and stare at Carmella until Rosie asks them if they have things to do.
The girls leave. Once out of earshot Rachel whispers to Bree that she had no idea it was *that* bad. Bree feels so sorry for her.
Carmella watches the girls as they walk away, worried. Rosie reassures her that they're only kids. Carmella tries to smile.
Rosie is concerned that her sister might be home too early but Carmella tells her she hates the hospital. Harold appears and is equally surprised to see Carmella, who immediately apologises about not phoning ahead. Harold says it's her home too and she can come and go as she pleases. He's happy to see her.
Carmella remarks that he's obviously not seen her without her bandages then. Harold says there's no time like the present so Carmella turns round to show him her scar. Harold remarks that that cousin of hers got her good! Carmella looks distressed but he tells her it's early days yet. Rosie adds that the scar will be completely gone when she has the reconstructive surgery. Carmella is still anxious – she's not sure she's ready to be out. She scared Bree and Rachel – she's a freak! Rosie takes her hand and tells her that if people have a problem they can deal with it – or deal with her!
Loris comes in to see Bree reading and calls her ‘Biccie', which annoys Bree as she's changed her name. Loris thinks it's ridiculous as we can't change who we are. Bree says she's always been a no-one and now she's being whoever she wants to be. Loris tries to say something but Bree tells her to forget it – it's alright.
Loris asks if she really feels that she's a no-one. Didn't she feel loved every minute of her life? Didn't she feel she was somewhere special? Bree looks seriously freaked out as Loris pleads with her to tell her that her life wasn't bad. Loris breaks down and Bree doesn't know where to look.
Rachel hangs up from talking to Guy and says what a nice bloke he is – she wonders what's going on between him and Kat. Zeke wonders why – does she want to know if he's available? It wouldn't be the first time she's gone for an older guy. Rachel thinks he's one to talk.
RACHEL: Pepper, Pepper, wherefore art thou Pepper!
There's a knock at the door and Rachel opens it to Pepper, of all people. Pepper knows they were talking about her but Rachel makes up a story about looking for a salt and pepper shaker as Zeke dives down onto the floor in front of the sofa. Pepper asks if Zeke's in and Rachel tells her he's down on the floor near the couch. Zeke makes a face and then pretends he's lost his phone…not very convincingly.
Rachel goes to her room and Pepper finds the phone, leaving them to have a little chat about the engagement party.
Rosie emerges from Carmella's room. Carmella won't leave her room, never mind the house. Harold can understand it but Rosie points out it'll only get worse the longer she avoids the outside world. Harold doesn't want her to become a recluse. Rosie says she's afraid that all people will see is her scar. Harold suddenly has an idea; he knows some people who won't bat an eyelid.
Pepper tells Zeke there's no need to be embarrassed – how was he to know she was sleepwalking? Zeke says he isn't embarrassed. Rachel watches from the hallway as Pepper asks if he's sure. Zeke asks why she said ‘I love you' to him when it was meant for Frazer. Pepper thinks she was maybe dreaming of Frazer. She tells Zeke that she likes him and hopes they can be friends again. Zeke agrees and will even return to her PE class. She asks if he can stop bagging Frazer but that seems to be a step too far. She assures him that Frazer is a good guy then leaves.
Zeke tells Rachel that Frazer will break Pepper's heart ‘something bad'. Like that's a grammatically correct sentence. Rachel says Fraze can join his club then – how did he think Bree felt when he kissed Anne? Zeke sighs.
Bree gives Loris some hot chocolate and apologises for making her cry. Changing her name has kicked her family in the teeth. It's not their fault her blood is different. Loris says that's all that's different – she really is a Timmins. Bree knows it in her head, but in her heart she's a loner. Loris says she doesn't deserve to feel like that. Bree assures her it's fine – it makes her interesting.
BREE: Listen to me, Bree Timmins. You are not going to feel lost forever. I promise you are going to know where you belong if it's the last thing I do.
The remains of the wild pig are being eaten (well, by Will and Steiger at least). Will remarks that it's quite nice but his words are shot down in flames by Steiger, who thinks he doesn't deserve any. It's Fiona who's the man of the moment. Steiger had thought he was a bit of a mummy's boy but he was wrong – he's got a bit of a killer in him and Steiger trusts that in a man!
Steiger grabs his toilet roll and excuses himself (but not before messing up Frazer's hair in a macho display of affection). Will sits beside Frazer and asks what happened.
WILL: You've come back as Son-of-Steiger monster.
Frazer, still dazed, says at least he's not the daughter. At least he's not being called Fiona anymore. Will can't believe he would kill to get Steiger's approval! Frazer retorts that he didn't kill it – he completely missed and Steiger had to do the honours. Will asks why he's his best friend then.
FRAZER: He made me gut it as punishment. Now he thinks I'm a big man. And I'm not. I'm not a man at all.
WILL (poker faced): Me neither.
Frazer thinks the whole killing and gutting experience has done something scary to Steiger.
Cue a Tarzan-like call from Steiger.
FRAZER: We have crossed into a horrible dark world – and Steiger is the deranged king*. (tries not to cry) I want to go home!
Poor wee lamb.
Carmella hands out soup to people. Harold asks how she's holding up and she admits she can't believe the fact that people aren't staring. Harold doesn't want to make light of her scars but these people would swap places with her in a heartbeat. Carmella thinks she's been ridiculous – her injury is superficial. She hasn't lost her family or her home or her health. If this is the worst thing that could happen in her life then she's a very lucky girl. Harold smiles.
Wolf noises echo in the air. The boys and Steiger's dog are in the tent, listening to the man himself tell them all about how wonderful Chris was on these trips. Will tries to bring attention to his lilo but Steiger is saying how much of an idiot he was to let Chris go. He was so wrapped up with being a cop that he took her for granted.
Frazer tries to give him a comforting pat and says they'll work it out, only for Steiger to say that Pepper is everything – if he dares to treat her like he treated Chris…
He turns over and starts looking for something. The boys can't believe their eyes when Steiger retrieves a teddy bear (which squeaks!) – it was Chris'. He took it when he moved out.
STEIGER (sadly) : You'll do well to listen to what I say to ya. Both of ya.
Will and Frazer look horrified.
Loris appears and Harold thanks her for coming over. He tells her he was rather unchristian before. She doesn't blame him but Harold thinks it was awful of him to take away his friendship. He's very thankful to have her in his life. He hugs her and Loris says she needed this – she's going to fix it, make it right. Harold is pleased to hear it and offers his support; he will be there when she tells them, if she wants that. Loris says she isn't going to tell them what she did – what would that achieve? She has to somehow undo the damage. Bree has to spend time with the Baxters and get to know them. Harold asks what happens if they reject her again. Loris thinks that at least they won't be a mystery. She can close that book and move forward.
Harold feels this is all leading to a goodbye. Loris reiterates that she has to make things right; for Bree, Anne, and herself. Harold nods and gives her another hug.
STEIGER: Hear the tolling of the bell…
Frazer and Will are awakened by the sound of Steiger talking to himself, outside the tent. Will tells Frazer to open it up to take a look but Frazer's too scared and Will won't; he'd rather lie down and pretend to be asleep – it's his very best plan.
Silhouetted against the side of the tent is Steiger and he's got his crossbow! Will thinks he's really close and Frazer decides they have to get out of there. But Will reminds him that Steiger could think they were wild pigs and shoot them. Frazer observes that he's seriously messed up over the divorce.
FRAZER: We could sneak to the truck and drive away!
They'd leave Steiger behind. Frazer tells Will to get the truck and bring it to the side of the tent but Will wants Frazer to do it.
FRAZER: I gutted a pig!
As Steiger's chanting-rant-speech thing goes on Frazer realises they're never going to get out. A second later Will realises he needs to wee. Frazer looks despairingly to the side, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere but here.
It's morning and Pepper walks out to see Steiger and the boys pull up in the truck. She asks how it was and Steiger's upbeat, despite being disappointed they only got the one pig. He informs her that Willamena wasn't up to it and has a long way to go before he matches Frazer.
Pepper thinks the guys will need some brekkie but Will just wants to have a shower - for a *very* long time. Pepper asks her dad about dinner sometime and Steiger agrees – ‘Bush Boy' can come along too! They've got a lot of roast pork to get through.
As Steiger pulls away Pepper tells Frazer how glad she is that he and her dad got on. Frazer can only say he pities the fool who does end up with Steiger for a father in law. Pepper looks confused.
Will gives Carmella a kiss on the cheek and asks how she is. She says she's good…well, maybe up until Frazer says ‘Good Lord' upon seeing her scar. Rosie shoots a disapproving ‘Frazer' at him, but Carmella is okay with it, telling him to get it out of his system. Frazer says you hardly really notice her scar…and, anyway, once she gets the plastic surgery, she'll be hot again. Just keep on digging that hole, son.
WILL: She is hot.
That's what Frazer meant to say. Carmella thanks them all for the money, but…
CARMELLA: I'm not having the operation. These are the cards I've been dealt so I'm not going to change that. This is me.
Frazer asks why she would chose to keep looking like that.
He tells her he took a big risk to get the money, so she should put it to good use. Carmella says she'll give it to charity then.
Frazer thinks that's great (although he obviously doesn't) and goes off to clean the pool (Pepper goes to help).
Will asks if Carmella wants to talk them through it but she doesn't see what needs to be talked about. Will asks why not have the operation when the money's there? Carmella thinks that looks are all that matter to him. Rosie says he didn't mean it like that and Will says she's just as beautiful as she ever was. Rosie tells her to take a few days over it but Carmella retorts that she knew what side Rosie would take.
CARMELLA: You've had your eye on him from the start. Well, be my guest. You two deserve each other!
Carmella storms off and Will looks over to Rosie, who looks away and clears her throat.