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Neighbours Episode 5034 from 2006 - NeighboursEpisodes.com
<<5033 - 5035>>
Episode title: 5034: There Was A Crooked Anne
Australian airdate: 17/08/06
UK airdate: 09/11/06
Writer: Scott Taylor
Director: Jovita O'Shaughnessy
Guests: Anne Baxter: Tessa James
Music:
Summary/Images by: Miriam/Jeremai
Recap
Karl telling Susan that Isabelle drove him home and stayed overnight at the flat.
Anne meeting Janelle at number 26.
Karl kissing Susan – and having a memory flashback of TheNightThatShallNotBeNamed™.
Number 26 where Janelle is Freaked Out
Bree can't help Janelle clear up – she has another young writer's group to talk to; Anne has encouraged her to try again. Janelle is looking rather gorgeous and her hair is fabulous all tousled like that; she isn't very pleased that Anne is Bree's new friend – she thinks she's a crawler. Bree is holding a gift from Anne (an expensive one) and Janelle thinks it's too much for someone who's just a friend. In the meantime, Harvey has started to eat one of Janelle's Ugg Boots which makes me laugh.
AttitudeBree answers the door to Lou who is standing brightly with a bunch of flowers. Bree leaves, and Lou presents Janelle with the flowers.
LOU: These are for you.
JANELLE: Did you put a dent in my station wagon or something?
LOU: Can't a man give a pretty woman flowers for no reason?
JANELLE: Pretty?
LOU: I've been thinking about you all the way home.
JANELLE: Okaaaaaay… Do you wanna talk me through this?
Lou realises that he's been neglecting his neighbours, especially the pretty ones. He tells her he'll see her soon, winks, and departs.
FreakedJanelle throws the flowers down and walks into the kitchen in shock.
Number 28
Katya is on the phone all giggly and flirty, and Karl and Susan stand behind like proud parents waiting for their daughter to tell them who she's going to go on a date with. And polo necked jumpers that colour really don't suit Karl.
KATYA: Guess what?!
KARL AND SUSAN: WHAT?!
KATYA: Max and I are going on a Tibetan language retreat.
Not the answer they expected. Susan looks all tentative and remembers that it's an overnight thing, but Katya thinks it's all okay because she's spoken to Steph about it. Well, Steph probably doesn't mind because I'd imagine Katya told her:
KATYA: Do you mind if Max comes along on the retreat? It will be a really good opportunity to learn.
If Katya had actually said to Steph:
KATYA: Do you mind if Max comes along on the retreat? It will be a reall good opportunity for me to pounce, sleep with him, and declare my love before having his children…
…then I suspect Steph might not have been quite so okay.
And then Katya says she'd better go and study – as if the world may implode if she didn't. It's a weird line.
Number 24 where I wonder if They're A Couple
Harold is cleaning his tuba, and not in the metaphorical sense. Lou returns home, and Harry is delighted to see him, as if his lover has unexpectedly cut a trip short just to see him. It's bizarre. Harry is *so* delighted that he's going to put the kettle on so he can hear all about his trip.
HARRY: Come on. I was only polishing my tuba.
LOU: That'll send you blind, you know.
HARRY: Oh! I've missed that funny sense of humour of yours.
Weird.
Lou avoids all talk of Russia and goes to have a bath. Harold doesn't join him.
Number 28
KARL: So Noah says “let me get this right – you want me to build a three story carp-ark?”
I LOVE that joke!
SUSAN: Smile and nod, kids. Smile and nod.
No-one finds it funny except me. Susan suggests dessert, and Karl says he should go. But Rachel wants him to stay, and so does Zeke (so he doesn't end up having to watch a girl film), and so does Susan. Karl agrees – as long as he gets to choose the movie.
Karl talks about going to the video shop, but the kids reveal a secret stash of DVDs hidden in the coffee table thing – and there are HUNDREDS. Well, tens, anyway. Karl is shocked – and even more horrified to discover that Susan joined a film group, and he starts on the whole thing about how much it really costs to do that and how she's being conned…
And I want to slap him and remind him how lonely she was after he left, and how she needed things like this so she didn't have to think about the fact that he'd left her for another woman all the time. Honestly, the man has NO tact.
Karl thinks it's wasteful, so Susan tells him he can only have one baked banana for dessert, as two would be wasteful. You go, girl.
Number 26 where I don't know Who Sherbet Are
Janae is telling her mum how fab it is being a cleaner, and how the patients freak out when they see her. She explains that she's more than a spew monitor – she changes bedpans and scrubs the loos…but Janelle doesn't wanna hear it whilst they're eating.
Janae's hair looks really cool, too – is it Change The Timminses Look day? She looks a lot younger, actually. Not that I'm a fan of straightened hair. It can look a bit, you know, Croydon.
BOYD: How about you tell your mum your other idea about work?
JANAE: What? Which one?
BOYD: You know, the one that's gonna make you rich.
JANELLE: Oooh! Ker-ching! Do tell.
But she doesn't because Breezer returns home with Anne. Bree says she couldn't have done the talk without Anne's support, although Janelle's silently gesturing at Anne, wondering why she's here. Janelle huffily says she'll open another bag of fries. Then whispering to Janae and Boyd:
JANELLE: Keep an eye on the eye girl and make sure she doesn't swipe anything.
Bree tells her mother that Anne's not staying – but she's bought her a gift to thank her for dinner last week. It's Sherbet's Greatest Hits. Janelle is thrilled but then realises she shouldn't be and reluctantly says thanks. Breezer and Anne leave.
JANAE: Why are you being so mean to the little blind girl?
Why does everyone keep calling her The Blind Girl? As if it's the only thing about her? (Mind you, that reminds me of a really good joke about the nun in the bath, and the Blind Man – only he was a *blind* man……never mind.)
Boyd and Janae suddenly notice the card that Lou wrote to Janelle: To the sexiest neighbour I know. Janelle is horrified – she hadn't read it, so she grabs it and reads it in full:
To the sexiest neighbour I know,
This is just a token of my affection to tell you how much I've missed you this last week. Maybe I'll pop in and borrow a cup of sugar sometime soon?
Yours,
Lou
Funny – the handwriting is the same handwriting on the envelope that Susan posted to Stingray. And the same on the note that was left in the fridge for Karl when Susan was in Wangaratta and Sarah came over. And the same as the writing that Lyn had supposedly done the other week. I think someone in the props department needs to learn how to write in more than one style.
Janelle looks shocked, but then looks almost…charmed. Mmmm.
Number 24 where I'm very very Suspicious
Lou presents Harold with a Babushka doll – the Russian ones, one inside the other. Harry thinks it's really thoughtful, although I'm not sure why – what do you do with it?
LOU: It was either that or a big fluffy hat.
HARRY: Oh, no no. That would have set off my allergies.
They sit down for tea. Harold asks Lou what happened over in Russia, but he doesn't want to talk about it. Lou tells Harry that Mishka is in love with her husband and always has been.
HARRY: NO! No, no, no – I don't believe that. That spark in her eye when the two of you were together? She couldn't have faked that.
Oh, Harry. Us women can fake anything. Lou wants to drop it, but Harry declares that they're madly in love. Lou refutes it – it was wrong from day one, and he now realises that he wants ‘one of his own,' a good decent Aussie Sheila. He should go to Sheila's Wheels - apparently all the girls get down there, now.
Harold wonders if Lou has thought about this: was Mishka forced to tell Lou she didn't love him? Was her husband bullying her? No, says Lou – he was nothing more than a pawn to make her hubby jealous.
A good Aussie Sheila?? One of his own?? Forgive me, but it sounds to me like someone's been doing a little brainwashing of Lou. Didn't Mishy mention that her husband did that to her, once? Come back Mishka-Mouse – the viewers love you!
The General Store where it's a Nice Group
Zeke and Rach arrive at the General Store to meet Anne and Bree. They make a nice teenage group, actually! Anne remembers Zeke as the Bubble Boy! Bree and Rach go to get a milkshake, and Anne tells Zeke she's blind.
Zeke sits down and Anne cracks a joke about his nice top. Anne asks if what Bree said about Zeke is true – that he's really good looking? Zeke can't believe that Bree said that about him, and Anne knows that he's blushing.
Number 28
Karl and Susie are on the sofa. Karl is watching the film, but Susan's more preoccupied with kissing / licking his ear. It's hard to tell. She's all flirty and sexy and won't stay still for a second, which means they'll be heading to the bedroom any minute now. I know the signs.
KARL: I thought you said this film was a classic; one of your favourites.
SUSAN: As it happens, you are also both of those things.
She kisses his neck some more (*so* 1995) and he kisses her hand and they get all touchy and realise they have the house to themselves. And Susan wants to show him her version of Arsenic and Old Lace (ooh – nice little reference to the night with Izzy last week).
Susan races to the bedroom, as Karl turns off all the electrical appliances.
SUSAN: If this is your idea of foreplay then you're even rustier than I thought.
She reminds him that she pays the bills, now. And he knows these are old habits. She tells him it's finicky and controlling, and the things that he used to know when he was living here don't apply anymore. She reminds him that what she says, goes. And Karl quickly switches one more light off before leading Susan into the bedroom, and she raises her hands to strangle him as he does so…
Too cute!
Number 26 where Janelle knows she Could Get Something From It
Janae and Boyd have to leave, and as they do, Janae shouts out that she plans on leaving school. On their way out, Bree returns with Anne, Zeke and Rachel who are going to stay for a sleepover; Janelle says there's no room, so Bree storms her mother off to the kitchen. Janelle finally agrees that they can bunk in the lounge, and Rach says she'll call Susan to let her know.
Bree answers the door to Lou who wants to see Janelle – he bought her mail in for her, and lets her know that he's next door if she wants anything.
JANELLE: You're my first port of call.
He's hesitant to leave, so Janelle pushes him out of the door. Bree sits on the sofa looking disgusted.
BREE: Was he just flirting with you?
JANELLE: Well, he is only human.
BREE: What the hell is going on?
JANELLE: I have got no flippin' idea, but a lady never puts off a man if there's an advantage in it.
Anne thinks that Bree's mum is really interesting.
BREE: Yeah, to a psychiatrist, maybe.
Number 28
It's the middle of the night, Karl and Susan have already done the deed, and Karl is now hunting for a glass to get some water. Susan asks what he's doing, and explains that the glasses are in a low cupboard because Zeke wasn't able to reach them before.
Susan's wearing that awful dressing gown with the collar and colour that does her no favours, and realises that something's wrong. He tells her he had a really weird dream – one with Izzy in it.
SUSAN: Ah, well, that'd be nightmare then, wouldn't it?
KARL: We were kissing.
SUSAN: Right. Well, forgive me Karl if I really don't want to hear about the details of that dream.
She walks off and he runs after her, telling her that he's telling her because he doesn't want to hide anything from her. He's worried, because it was more like a memory than a dream; he wonders if it's a memory of the other night…
He thinks Isabelle had the perfect opportunity to make trouble, and Susie reminds him that Isabelle told him nothing happened.
SUSAN: Why would she lie? To protect me? She hates me.
KARL: The thing is, I can't remember anything from that night. At all.
Susan reminds him that Izzy said it was innocent; Karl's being paranoid. He tells her he keeps getting flashes of that night. And it's happened more than once…
Cut to moments later where Karl and Suse are on the sofa once again.
KARL: Maybe it's just being back here with you again.
SUSAN: I'm not surprised that Isabelle gets stuck in your brain. She did play a starring role in us breaking up, didn't she?
KARL: I hope you realise I have *no* feelings for her at all, except contempt. And pity as well – the woman has no self-awareness. I'm convinced she'll end up in psychiatric care.
Susan says once again that this was the perfect opportunity for Isabelle to make things difficult – and she's done the exact opposite.
KARL: I just wish I could get it out of my head.
SUSAN: Isn't being here with me enough?
And for some reason that line really gets me; it's so sad. It's reminiscent of 4411, 4412 and 4503 where Karl left Susan to go to bed alone, told her he didn't love her, and when Libby asked her mother why they weren't enough for him. So sad.
KARL: Oh. It's more than I ever could have hoped for.
Why didn't he say that two years ago?!
Number 26 where it's hot chocolate All Round
The kids are throwing pillows and gossiping about their teacher who's dating the school gardener.
RACHEL: Isn't he, like, eighteen or something?
BREE: Oh, he could go out with you, Rachel.
That was so funny!
Janelle runs in and tells them to be quiet in case Lynnie hears and flips. She looks SO SO pretty today. Anne gets up to go get some water from the kitchen and hey – she's wearing the PJs that Bree wore in 4828.
How sad is it that I know that?
Janelle is scraping the hot chocolate tin out to make herself a drink, and Anne taps her way in, wanting some water. She says that she knows Janelle doesn't like her, and Janelle admits that she doesn't know how talk to blind kiddies. Honestly! Why is it such a big deal! Janelle admits she's no-nonsense and says what she's thinks, and Anne says that's why Bree loves her. Janelle seems quite touched and surprised that Bree would have said that.
Janelle offers to make her some warm milk, then gives in and offers to make the chocolate stuff stretch to two cups.
Anne smiles freakily.
Erinsborough Hospital where Karl is king of Medical Ethics
Boyd and the other trainees are chatting, and Janae drags him off to have a little kiss in private. He's reluctant, but gives in and….
SPRUNG!
By Karl. King of medical ethics.
Karl tells Boyd he knows what it's like to be newly married, but he has to be careful; the admin staff have noticed, and he'll be in big trouble. Janae will lose her job if they don't stop.
Boyd realises that, actually, this could be a good plan…
But Karl said all this. Karl. King of medical ethics.
Ramsay Street where Anne gets all Hoity-Toity
Janelle is washing the car in a top and short denim skirt, with a sponge, by hand. And she's funny doing it. Zeke, Rachel, Anne and Bree all look on. Janelle notices a dent in the car she hasn't seen before. Zeke and Rachel laugh at her.
RACH: Susan would never wash a car like that!
BREE: Yeah, because Susan has dignity and class.
Lou is standing at his window and Harry wonders what he's watching. He claims it's nothing, but just as Harry joins him, Janelle gets the hose out. Harry is shocked – he knows Lou's heartbroken, but ogling Janelle isn't the answer! Lou says he's doing nothing of the sort, but he realises he should have gone for a good Aussie girl in the first place, and Janelle obligingly bends over in a wet denim skirt.
Bree is grateful no-one else had to see her mother's display, but Anne defends her – why does she always put her mum down? She thinks it's disrespectful; Bree has no idea how lucky she is to have a mum like her.
The other kids look amongst themselves.
Number 26 where it's 2005 all Over Again
Janelle is running for the phone, but it rings off and she misses it. She does, however, find a Dictaphone on the floor that belongs to Anne.
“I've been trying to piece things together as much as I can. But it's not easy. The Timminses are really loyal to each other, but that just makes me want to learn more and more and more about them. Until I know everything. And then, the time will be right.”
What will she do?? Put them on a plane and blow them up mid-air?? Bury them underground in a disused mine-shaft and then collapse it?? Knock out Janelle before setting fire to number 26?? Pretend she has a really serious illness so that she can get more attention?? Have an affair with Dylan before dumping him for a younger man?? Get pregnant even though she's not supposed to be able to have kids??
Of course not! This is our nice, friendly, community-based programme where evil things like that don't happen on a frequent basis!
Oh, wait…
Line of the episode:
HARRY: Come on. I was only polishing my tuba.
Best performance of the episode:
Nell Feeney – she was so funny!
Best ‘Rock On' moment:
KARL: I hope you realise I have *no* feelings for her at all, except contempt. And pity as well – the woman has no self-awareness. I'm convinced she'll end up in psychiatric care.
The scene that TPTB forgot to include:
The one after Karl and Susie ran into the bedroom…
<<5033 - 5035>>
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<<5033 - 5035>>
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