Paul offering Elle to babysit Oscar; Elle not looking very thrilled about it.
Janae agrees to marry Boyd.
Oscar stands by the lake, watching his ball floating in the water…
Lyn's on the phone to the police giving them a description of Oscar and what he's wearing; they don't appear to be too worried about him just yet. Paul reassures her that he'll be alright, but Lyn blames Paul for not being a role-model for Elle, which is why she lost Oscar.
The Scarlet Bar
Janelle wants a drink, but Max wants to talk about the kids' engagement. Janelle has no problem with it – she has no regrets with being married so young. Max thinks the whole thing is doomed (doomed, doomed I say!) but Janelle thinks it's Boyd's choice of partner that has Maxy riled up. Max denies it – Boyd's in his first year at uni, and they're both too young, and she knows it.
Steph runs in – Oscar's missing. Help!
Lou and Harry return home to find Mishka making booties for Charlie, because winter is coming. Oh, and her love will keep Lou warm. There's an image I didn't need.
Mishka offers them drinks, and she's cooking them dinner, later. Lou thinks she's in a good mood because she's been smoking again! Mishka denies it – no! It's Sky who's smoking! But of course it's not really, and she caves in and admits it. Harry has been reading that smoking is a way of helping people avoid emotional problems, and Lou suggests she might try hypnosis. Ooh! Gail Shout Out!
MISHKA: Someone washes with my brain? Is a terrible idea!
HARRY: Oh, well, it has worked for a lot of people.
MISHKA: Is mind control. Stalin. I was never the same again.
She prefers dirty lungs to being brainwashed. With ya, there, Mishka babe.
Oscar reaches to get his ball as it floats closer, and Ned sees him; he runs to him, RUNS, I say, his muscles a-heaving, his lungs a-puffing, and his arms a-working, as he reaches out to grab the child that nearly fell into……ooh, 2cm of water.
He asks Ozzie if he's okay. What does it look like? Do you *see* him drowning?
Ned suggests leaving the ball in the water whilst they take him home and get a new one. Because, you know, an adult reaching out for a ball that's less than one foot away from you in 2cm of water might be a little stretching.
Ned carries Oscar away to the safety of……the woods.
Boyd takes Janae's temperature with one of those fabulous temperature taking things that are all digital and you stick in your ears.
37.3. Perfect. He's practising doing a med check up, whilst she asks him wedding questions. A double wedding with her mum and dad? No way, says Boyd. He'd rather save and marry later. Or sell the ring, but Janae isn't having that. He tests her lip temperature with his lips.
Janae says that she doesn't need a flash wedding. She'd rather it was small and meant something, but she's not sure Max will turn up.
He has a digital thermometer. He comments on her racing pulse, and she says his is racing too…what does he prescribe?
Janelle is bouncing Charlie and calling round friends when Paul and Lyn return. Lyn is crying and distressed, and Steph and Max burst into the house; Steph hugs her mother. Paul tells Max he has all the Lassiters staff looking, and Lyn goes to ring the police again when Ned returns home with Ozzie on his back.
Lyn grabs Oscar (and Ingo is desperate to be put down!) and cuddles him tightly, and thanks Ned profusely. Ned says he thought about the park – really?? Looked to me like he just happened to be walking along, but there you are. Lyn declares that Oscar can't swim on his own. Well, duh.
Lyn thanks everyone in sight, and thinks that Ozzie has a new best friend. Janelle asks Ned to stay for dinner, and Lyn thanks him again. Oscar jumps around.
Susan and her hedgehog head (sorry, it's just BAD) are looking at a long silver snaky thing……and Karl's sitting at the kitchen bench. Karl can't decide what to say at the Mentor ceremony tomorrow, so Susie tells him to speak from his heart, like when their kids were christened. Or like when you got married. Twice.
They reminisce about their kids' christenings, and Susan declares she never wanted religious ceremonies, but Karl did to spite his father! Karl remembers how much he wanted for them as kids, and how surrounded by love they were. Aw. ::sniff:: He stares at nothing and Susan looks all thoughtful, and suggests that could be his speech.
He agrees, and they look all gooily at each other without any complaint from me and it's one of those moments where she could just lean in and kiss him. And he carries on talking about their children (he *so* knows it's the one thing that will always get to her) and it's all too much and I have to walk away from my computer because it's all too sad. He's chatting away, and she just stares at him.
KARL: They were great times, weren't they? Young kids. Being parents.
SUSAN: The best.
But she doesn't lean in and kiss him, and the tension is held perfectly for a few seconds until a knock at the door disturbs Susan from her Karl-induced reverie (at least she wasn't doing what she did in her reverie in 4081
She laughs nervously and comments that she and Karl must have done something right with the kids. And it's Harold at the door for Karl.
HARRY: I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
SUSAN: No, just a bit of speech writing for tomorrow.
Harry remembers the ceremony and then tells them about Mishka being totally out of control with her cravings! Susan tells them that she tried to nick her bag last week in case she had cigarettes in it. Who says The Continuity Department doesn't exist? Harry mentions Lou's suggestion of hypnosis, and could Karl do that now? Harold wants Susan, there, too, to fulfil her contract of three eps a week with some substantial scenes and to add comedy. But he doesn't say that. They all just leave the house.
What? He's a hypnotist as well as everything else??! Is there *anything* this man can't do?
Mishka has a plate in her hand, ready to throw at Lou. She wants her cigarettes back, and Lou tries to get her to think of the Volga and its calming waters. It doesn't work. Karl, Suse and Harry arrive and Mishka is livid that they think she needs help with her problem. Lou denies all knowledge and ducks as she throws a plate at him!
Karl looks all shocked in his ORANGE SHIRT! This is the shirt he nearly kissed Susan in that time, that FANTASTIC gaze they gave each other in 4517. How did I not notice it earlier?!
Susan hides behind Karl, looking all alarmed, and Harry behind Susan, confessing it was him who went for help! Lou sticks his head up from under the counter.
MISHKA: (grabbing another plate) YES!??
LOU: I love you, I love you…
He thinks she should stop smoking for her health and so she doesn't die before her time is up. She doesn't think she can do it, but Lou thinks she can – if she loves him!
KARL: Ah!! Well, there you see? There's a start!
(Susan, hiding behind Karl, looks petrified. Harold hides behind Susan…)
KARL: Naaah, it's alright. Mishka, we've had terrific success with hypnotherapy, it's painless, it's inexpensive drug-free therapy…
MISHKA: Ah, how many times I have to say this? No, no, no and no!
MISHKA: No messing with my head, okay? No brainwash, no hypnosis, doctor. You understand?
And she promptly throws another plate at Lou. Harry and Karl hide behind Susan, who protectively puts her arms out wide in front of them, and Jackie, Alan and Ian all look like this is the eighth or ninth take, and they're about to completely fall about laughing. The comedy here is just terrific!
Lou was hit on the head and stumbles to a chair.
MISHKA: See what you made me do?! Oh, my poor old bear… I killed him!
And then the absolute SHOT of the evening! Susan standing in front of Karl and Harry, her arms out in protection, all of them looking terrified and yet bemused. And in the foreground, Mishka's hands on Lou's head.
Oscar plays Trucks with Ned, and Janae calls out to her mother – one of the wedding dresses is blue!
JANELLE: Well, they come in all sorts of colours these days…
She doesn't want to wear blue. Janelle is upset that not many people have any faith in Janae and Boyd – like Max and Kimbo. But she believes in the power of love! Ned will drink to that, and on this occasion, so will I! Janae thinks they're all horrible and she won't let her mother see them – because she looks fat!
Ned tells Janelle he's given up his job – he could be a singing telegram in fancy dress (cf the film ‘Clue': “I, am, your singing telegram!” BANG). Janelle thinks he should be a strip-o-gram because he has a great body.
Lyn gets home and has just been to apologise to Paul over what she said about Oscar. Janelle tells her friend to have a bath and go to bed – she's had too much drama today, and it's Charlie's day tomorrow. Lyn's not sure she'll be welcome tomorrow, but Janelle thinks she's being stubborn.
And then Janae comes out in a wedding dress. She looks just gorgeous. Ned and Lyn gush, but Janelle's in shock. She tells her daughter to take it off – she's not going to be getting married…
Janae follows her mother into the kitchen – she doesn't get it; why is her mother flipping out. Ned says he'll leave, and Lyn says she'll take Ozzie to bed. Janae wants an answer from her mum. She thinks her mother is jealous because she'd be upstaged at her own wedding. She thinks it's because her mother has to be the star, but Janelle tells her that's not the reason.
Janelle says nothing, and Janae says she won't stop them getting married – she'll go to court to get permission if need be.
Go ahead, says Janelle. Janae runs off.
Mishka is bathing Lou's head where she bashed it, and Susan has no hair.
Mishka apologises – she doesn't trust doctors, especially not Karl. Karl doesn't get it – she barely knows him! Mishka tells him he has a reputation – one lady called him Doctor Dirty! PMSL!
KARL: Who said that? I'll sue them!
HARRY: Nothing but slanderous gossip, especially if it came from Isabelle.
Karl reassures her that he would never take advantage of her under hypnosis.
MISHKA: Why not? You not find me attractive?
MISHKA: I only thirty nine.
KARL: That's not the point!
MISHKA: Ah, now you go make excuses…
Susan puts her hands on Karl's arm (and then his back) and sits him down. She defends him to Mishka, saying that Karl would be struck off if he were unethical in patient treatment.
Harold says that Karl looked after his late wife very well, and Susan her late husband. Doesn't sound good, does it, Karl?
Lou encourages her to try the hypnosis, but she knows she ‘must to fix' on her own.
Janae is hugging Boyd, and Janelle storms in – she wants to talk to her daughter. Janae agrees, but Janelle wants to talk to Steph, first. She reminds Steph what her mum has done for her, and it might be nice to invite her to Charlie's naming day. Steph thought her mum was already coming, but Janelle says Lyn doesn't feel welcome.
JANELLE: This is the stupid sort of mix up that happens in families that don't yell at each other. I hope your dinner's not cold.
She strops off, and she rocks!
Max and Steph laugh.
Janelle calls after her daughter, who's changed. She tells her that the change of heart is nothing to do with jealousy – the frock shocked her into a rethink. Janelle tells Janae that she reminds her of her when she was young and getting married and swept up in the romance of it all. Her daughter has ‘felt' it through, not thought it through.
She knows that Janae will stick to her marriage vows, even when she realises she's made a mistake. Janae doesn't think it is a mistake. And she tells her that if she had her time over, she'd do it all differently. Janae doesn't like that answer! She's supposed to say she wouldn't change a thing! But Janelle tells her that sixteen is too young to marry.
The Scarlet Bar
Ned asks after Oscar, and Lyn tells him he's at home. And as he's looking for a job, would he like to be Ozzie's nanny? He would. Good.
Wow. That happened fast.
Max announces the naming thing, and wants to hear from Charlie's Life Mentors – Karl and Susan. Kennedy. I wish. They step forward to stand next to Steph and Charlie, and Karl speaks first. He talks about what he hopes for him, and it looks more like Fletch making a speech than Karl!
Susan finishes it for him and asks him not to rush through life, and commenting that he's been born into a wonderful family. Everyone claps, but it didn't really feel like a clappy moment.
Random: Mishka tells Lou that she'll do whatever it takes to make her problem better!
Max thanks everyone for their support on this journey, and Charlie yawns and looks rather startled.
Cut to later where Paul explains that Izzy didn't turn up because she didn't want to upset Steph. Izzy has sent champagne for when he's eighteen, though. Hmm. Useful present. Not. Paul's present is that he'll double Lyn's investment into the Baby Belt business.
Karl is hypnotising Mishka.
He will count backwards from ten, and when he reaches one, she'll be deeply relaxed. On eight, she thinks it's rubbish. She knows why she smokes and why she gets angry, and she hasn't told this to Lou because he'll hate her. Karl doesn't think that's true – Lou would understand. He wouldn't hate her.
Really?? Because she's still married to a man in Russia.