Karl's performance of River of Soul
Max firing Kim from the Bar.
Janelle and Janae are outside the house doing
a better rendition of 'River of the Soul' which boldly announces their entry into the house. Bree sits at the computer with a face that says 'how am I related to you' commenting: "Am I supposed to applaud?" She has the comic timing of Jackie, this one. She's going to be a superb actress one day.
Janelle and Janae tell Bree all about the show. Karl played his song and no-one applauded. Then he did an encore even though he wasn't asked to. (This is sounding familiar.) Bree is upset she wasn't allowed to go, but Janelle had a good reason - Bree needs to finish her mother's book or it won't get published. Surely that's a really good reason TO go?
Bree says she's getting RSI. Three times RSI has been mentioned, now, on screen. Someone on the storylining team must have experienced it and wants to highlight it as an issue. Which I will avoid. Janelle said she had an hour off for lunch, but her daughter tells her she had no tea.
JANELLE: Artists starve; it spurs you on.
BREE: To what, murder my mum?
Janae and Janelle go off for dinner, and as Bree hasn't completed her requisite 2000 words, she isn't allowed to leave the house. Surely this borders on child abuse??
BREE: I think I need a union.
The Scarlet Bar
KARL: Hello fans and air conditioners.
Toadie and Connor are at the bar and are surprised to see Karl here - they thought the after-show party was at the hall. Apparently it was, but people left when the drink ran out - but not Karl! No! He's still pumped!
Karl asks Connor and Toadie if they enjoyed it, but they comment that they were standing at the back - by the exit.
KARL: (Earnestly) Oh, maybe you were too far back to pick up the vibe but the atmosphere on stage was electric!!
He's upset that Dylan ruined the encore with his antics, but decide to relive the play moment by moment with the guys. Toadie's enthusiastic because it involves cocktails; Connor is less so.
CONNOR: Are we Men of Erinsborough or Women of Sex And The City?
You know, that's *actually* debatable.
The women from Sex And The City then walk in all beautiful and skinny. They all gawp in Toadie and Connor's direction - and the Men of Erinsborough gawp back. The girls approach Karl and tell him how sick he was - for a second he looks ashamed and embarrassed. The girls tell him that 'sick' means, like, you know, awesome, dude. Karl calls over Max for more drinks.
Bree is walking the dog and sees her dad lying on the grass verge. Because this season is focusing on character and not heightened drama, we learn that Kim is not dead or wounded from a nasty car accident, but that he has no job to go to. Because, oh yeah, he was sacked.
Bree asks what he did, and she thinks he told the boss he's not the boss. So, this is a pattern, then?? Bree tells him he can't hide it from Janelle, as she's already gone to TSB, and she's about to go off to eat. Kim says he'll go with her to keep her safe - but actually he's scared of Janelle. He won't admit it, though - what's there to be scared of?
BREE: Yelling, physical violence...
KIM: She's not like that.
(Bree makes a face and walks off)
KIM: She's not!
The Scarlet Bar
JANELLE: You're a heartless dog, Max Hoyland! A stinking heartless dog!
Max defends himself - he was Kim's employer as well as his friend, and he gave him every chance he could. Janelle plays the 'you're middle-class and we're not so that's why you did it' card - which is so pathetic. She says she has six mouths to feed, Max doesn't. "And so what," I want to scream. Kim didn't turn up for work on many occasions. Sympathy for someone does not a job warrant. Or something like that.
Janelle shouts that Max isn't good-natured; he put his wife in a loony bin, no wonder she kicked him out. Ouch. The rare valid point.
Janae tells Boys she knows that Kim will leave this time; she's seen this pattern too many times before. Boyd offers to ask Max to change his mind, but Janae tells her boyfriend that he won't, not after what her mother said to Max! Boyd says he'll still try, and kisses her. Janae backs off: "We said we wouldn't do this, remember?" She thinks that this is typical of her - when something goes wrong, she hides behind the physical stuff.
Quite frankly I'm impressed at her maturity in recognising that - most people don't.
JANAE: No. NO! We are gonna handle this, okay?! Let's go for...for a run!!
She runs out the kitchen in a jogging sort of a way, so not dressed for it. Boyd turns away frustrated, and Janae runs back in.
JANAE:(Looking distressed) Are you coming???
Janae returns home to find a cross Janelle. Cross because Bree only did 200 hundred extra words then went out to find food.
Janae tells her she's angry with Kim, not Bree, and that she needs to deal with it rationally. Wow, those counselling sessions with Karl really paid off. Janelle's concerned that he doesn't have a job and if he gets another long - how long will it last?? Maybe as long as Janelle's respect for her kids.
Janae suggests that she talk to her husband calmly, but she will speak to him any damn way she pleases, and if her daughter doesn't like it she can rack off. Janae refuses to rack off - she's going to tell her mother what she thinks of her. All the kids know what their parents' chats end up like, and it's not in a white wedding. Janelle sends Janae to her room.
Her daughter reminds her as she leaves that when Kim goes, her mother will have no-one to blame but herself.
The Scarlet Bar
Karl is giving a 'private' viewing with SATC girls singing to them. They clap his performance and Connor and Toadie are jealous. Toadie thinks Karl deserves his moment, but Connor notes that his moment has been going for half an hour. They tell Max that Jasper is reviewing the play, and was making LOADS of notes, pages and pages of them.
The SATC girls want an encore, but Max is closing up. He offers them champagne to get the party started; it's slight reminiscent of the scene from Love Actually where the guy from My Family go to Wisconsin and meets the four girls who love his accent and think he's a Christian.
They ask where the party's at, and Karl points to Toadie and Connor...
Kim and Bree are returning from the whole dog walking saga and find Janae sitting on the wall outside the house - she's here to warn Kim about their mum's mood. Kim reassures his kids that he loves them, but can't promise that he won't leave.
Bree explains to Janae that their mum feels a feeling then gets all lost in it and can't detach from her emotions.
Janae tells Bree she won't get angry and Bree smiles and Janae pushes her and they hug. Aw. They go all sistery on each other.
Janelle lets rip at Kim and he tries to explain that he thought Max was a friend, but his wife tells him that Max thinks he's a drop-kick. They argue about what Max thinks of him - Janelle doesn't blame Max for what he did, and Kim thinks Max doesn't understand him.
JANELLE: Newsflash! Your boss doesn't care about that. He wants you to turn up on time and do your job.
KIM: I thought my boss would be a little more flexible.
JANELLE: It's a job not a yoga club!
Kim doesn't get it. He just doesn't get it. Janelle is sick and tired of this and won't go through it again. She wants him to beg for his job back, but he won't; Janelle can see he hasn't changed at all, and neither has she. So they're obviously not well matched.
Janelle suggests he clear out for good.
Number 32 where I'm Bored
Boyd is dusting a table vigorously with his earphones on. Playing music - he doesn't just wear them for fun. Well, I suppose he might. What's weirder, though, is that when Boyd has the earphones on his head, we - the viewers - can also hear the song as if it's playing out loud. Then when he takes them off, they go all earphoney. How peculiar. Sort it out, Mr Sound Man.
Max asks Boyd for the colour charts so he can do painting before Steph comes home. Boyd thinks it's a good idea - although he doesn't really mean it. He asks his dad if he wants help with sanding and stuff, but he's not keen. Boyd tells him that seeing as he's doing all this work, he might as well move back in - Steph isn't here to know. Plus Boyd would like the company - and the distraction.
Karl is singing The River of the Soul one more time to the SATC girls. Connor and Toadie are in the kitchen
CONNOR: I'm going to start hurting people really soon.
TOADIE: I'm amazed Ned hasn't hobbled out and set fire to his guitar.
They hop out the kitchen and look at the girls, deciding which ones they want to stay. Connor comments that the Susan look-a-like wouldn't want Toadie - he's wearing boxers from yesterday. Connor observes that Toadie got into those pants at 0708 in the morning, and then slapped his backside and galloped in an equine manner.
The surveillance equipment works.
The SATC girls leave and Karl tells the boys that you should *always* leave them wanting more. He tells the girls as they leave that they've been a wonderful audience. Back to the boys:
KARL: Am I hot, or what?
TOADIE: You weren't even lukewarm. I think it's about time someone told ya.
KARL: How many Cosmopolitans has he had?
TOADIE & CONNOR: Six.
Toadie tells him that his vanity is misplaced, but Karl is adamant that he was great tonight.
KARL: Everyone was cheering at the end of the play. Why would they do that if they didn't like it?
Maybe because you stopped singing, Karl??
Toadie warns him that he'll bump to earth when he reads Jasper's review tomorrow in the papers... Karl is surprised to hear that Jasper was in the audience.
Karl looks all upset.Number 26 where it is Very Very Dark
Janae comes out from her room and finds Bree sitting under a blanket in the dark on a sofa. She's watching her dad - asleep on another sofa - to make sure he doesn't leave. She won't take any chances. Janae tells her sister that she can't watch him forever, but Bree suggests doing shifts. Janae tells her that if he's going to leave, he will.
Janae takes her sister in her arms, and it's lovely to see. She says that when she got her test results back, everyone was so together and happy, and she thought the family had turned a corner. But it lasted only a week, and Bree wishes her dad had never come back.
JANAE: You don't mean that.
BREE: Yes I do.
JANAE: Life sucked when he wasn't around.
BREE: But it didn't hurt as much.
Kim hears every word.
The Scarlet Bar
Max is setting up for the day and Kim offers to help, although he doesn't work there any more. Actually, come to think of it, Kim would like his job back for his family and his kids. Max understands, and Kim begs for another chance - even if it means going on probation.
Kim is begging - he really needs this job. Max turns him down.
Cut to later where Janelle, Janae and Bree arrive for a meal outside. Bree thinks they should save money and eat at home, but Janelle refuses to sacrifice their life because their father lost his job. Janelle orders Kim over when she sees him, and he tells her that he hasn't been able to get his job back.
Janae and Bree are really upset that their parents are always rowing and not talking properly. They look from one parent to another, and Janae eventually drags Bree away - she has a plan to make him stay.
The Scarlet Bar
Karl hands the Jasper review to Toadie and Connor.
KARL: Read it and weep! I'm a star! Check it out!
The article headline is "Paging Doctor Rock," and the boys can't believe it. They wonder if Jasper was being sarcastic. It's actually written by someone called Shelley who says that he is a "pulsating talent and can heal you with his harmonies and touch your river of Soul."
Random people come into the bar and Karl excuses himself for a photo shoot.
Cut to Boyd telling Max to re-employ Kim, and Max refuses, despites Boyd's pleas.
Cut to Karl posing in TSB with a doctor's coat and a large country hat.
Kim and Janelle arrive home - she wants to make sure he leaves and doesn't pinch the car.
Kim picks up a letter addressed to 'Dad.' It's from Bree and Janae. They've disappeared and won't come back until their parents can sort out their differences.
Line of the episode:
JANAE: Are you coming?
Best performance of the episode:
Janae for her sisterly love
Best 'Rock On' moment:
KARL: Read it and weep! I'm a star! Check it out!
The scene that TPTB forgot to include:
Where Jasper published his Karl and Susan fanfic...