Jackie walking up to David
David admitting to Lil that one thing led to another with Jackie…Lil saying he spent the night with her?
Lucy introducing Paul to his new right leg
Karl asking Susan to run away with him
The answer to Karl's “will you run away with me” question is simply put, “Are you insane?!?!” She cannot believe he'd have the nerve to ask her but he quickly backtracks in saying he didn't mean it like that.
KARL: I just want to go to Europe with you.
SUSAN: Do you just?
He continues that they could enjoy things they didn't see last time, perhaps even see Mal! Ahh, but obviously Karl did not think it through that well, when realising he hadn't thought about changing the booking names from Izzy. He grumbles his stupidity and apologises for being unforgivable. Susan thinks it was a nice gesture, but did he really believe she'd say yes? He deems the idea stupid, but Suse softens…it was a little bit misguided, but not stupid. Karl just wanted to make it up somehow, after Susan has looked out for him during this time. Of course Susan will always care!
SUSAN: I'll always want what's best for you. But I'm never going to be Susan Kennedy again, we both know that.
Paul is making his way down the stairs by himself, much to the concern of Lucy. He grumbles he's fine on his own, but she still helps none the less. Lou comes in also looking to provide care and assistance…stubborn Paul takes none of this advice and in doing so, nearly trips on a step. He tells Lou he just wants to be left alone and leaves the house. Lou whines to Lucy about the Paul problem and asks for advice. She simply states Paul needs his own space and to quit the sucking up!
Susan gives Lil a debrief on the Karl situation. She's still mystified at the whole idea, but Lil gets this gleam in her eye – perhaps the can reunite at last! Susan is aghast, no…way too much water under the bridge. Lil points out there was a lot of love there once…but Suse firmly states there is no chance of reconciliation – it was over the moment he moved up with Isabelle.
There's a bit of quiet, before Lil points out Karl did nothing to her, that she did not do to David.
SUSAN: It's not the same.
Lil laughs yeah, Karl was a lot more honest about it. They get interrupted by David but it doesn't matter as the situation is tense and silted and he walks into his bedroom. Suse senses the tension, but Lil insists it was nothing!
By the dim glow of the fluorescent light, Janelle types enthusiastically away at her manuscript of “The Bogan's Tipped Hair”. We are soon transformed into the bizarre world of her story. Think “Bold and the Beautiful”/”Days of Our Lives”/”The Young and the Restless”…
Even though life had given her every opportunity possible on a silver platter, she was a dried up shell of a woman, good for nothing but causing other people pain now that she had no life of her own. She claimed she wanted to see poor Lynnie, but Janelle knew why she was really there.
Imagine this scene. Janelle with an outrageous long, bleach blonde wig and Susan with a turban with a jewel aka. Cruella De Ville, complete with typical soap “hazy” dream/flashback sequence fuzz and melodramatic scene music. They're in the kitchen and Susan just popped round to see Lyn…
The Bogan's Tipped Hair
BoganJanelle: Lyn's working late, but I'm sure she'll be back any tick of the clock.
CruellaSuse: Well I'd appreciate it if you told her I'd called by.
BoganJanelle: Happy to help.
CruellaSuse: You really should consider reading something other than this mindless dribble. Your bratty children might have half a chance of growing up decent if they had a good example to follow.
BoganJanelle: I love my children more than you could ever know.
CruellaSuse: Well of course you do, but do they love you?
(Bree comes running in)
Bree: Mum you've gotta come quick! The police have just arrested Dylan for armed robbery.
BoganJanelle: No! Not my baby!
Bree: And there's something else you should know. Janae's pregnant.
BoganJanelle: No it's not possible!
CruellaSuse: Oh Janelle, how can you act surprised? It was only a matter of time.
BoganJanelle: How can you be so cruel Susan? What have me and mine ever done to you?
CruellaSuse: Isn't it obvious? You think I like living in the same street as you and your ill bit gotten spawn?
BoganJanelle: How can you say such things? And me with my boy just taken away in chains!
CruellaSuse: Oh wake up and smell the lynch mob Janelle! Erinsborough's no place for someone like you! You're a bogan! You're a common bogan with bleach blonde tipped hair!
”Janelle held back her tears, she wouldn't give the bitter hag the satisfaction knowing how much she was hurting. This time, she was going to show Susan there was nothing wrong with coming from an honest battler background. She was going to show them all!”
Janelle pats her folder with the manuscript.
David is having dinner while Lil and Suse drink wine and the conversation is again, fairly strained between Lil and David. She offers some wine, but he's fine with water. Oh, he's decided he should probably hit the sack…his phone rings so he leaves to answer it. Susan whispers can leave, but David soon comes back and tells Lil he's gotta head out for a bit…As soon as he's gone, Suse pounces and demands to know what's going on!
The General Store
So we're all thinking David has run off to meet Jackie…? Well no, he has run off to meet Karl. And not to discuss council issues, but for Karl to also debrief about his big stuff up moment.
DAVID: So let me get this straight, you offered Susan Izzy's ticket, mate were you thinking at all?
Karl grumbles it made sense at the time and Susan was fine about it…like all the other times he has hurt her, she still wants to be friends. He asks David what he'd have done?
DAVID: I took Lil back didn't I?
Karl once again realises the insensitivity of the situation and apologises. He stops talking about himself and asks David how it's going. Dave replies it's all sunshine and lollipops…well, unless you count Lil is keeping the Great Wall of China between them and they have that awkward stilted conversation between the. Karl sympathesis it must also suck to have Paul next door and David agrees plus…plus the fact he had a “thing” with another woman!
Lil admits it was a real wake up call to have another woman make bedroom eyes towards David…especially as they were making some improvement but it all stalled once she found out about (low sarcastic voice) Jackie. And what's worse, Lil knows she has no right to be jealous, so how can she possibly say anything?
The General Store
Karl believes it is good Lil was jealous…I mean, it shows there is spark! David shares the story of how he met this woman – they met on the internet and then went to dinner. It was all going hunky dory, but unfortunately he left before dessert. He just felt so guilty, even though Lil was off gallivanting with another man. He also admits he hasn't told Lil the full story BUT only it seems Lil is giving him any attention is he might get snapped up by somebody else.
Susan wants Lil to confront the issue, despite the hypocrisy. Otherwise their marriage will not last and this “corpse” will lie in the corner of their living room for the next 40 years!
The General Store
Karl also gives Dave the same advice and to come clean. It's the only way…
KARL: Take it from someone who knows a hell of a lot about deception.
Drunken Izzy stumbles into the doorway and surprises Paul (dressed nicely in a white bathrobe…like the ones he and Lil used to sport) with a late night booty call. As she was out drinking, she thought he'd also like to party. She's so not sorry for waking him and even insists she personally put him back to bed. “For old time's sake?”
IZZY: We don't have mean old Karl spoiling our fun. We can hang from the chandeliers if you like!
Paul deftly refuses, stating she is a mess and of course is a gentlemen and would never take advantage of her like this. Izzy is offended, spitting out what does a cripple like him have the right to criticise her?! A hazy lightbulb goes off and Izzy taunts that perhaps Paul hasn't…taken the “old equipment” for a test ride since the big chop chop? It is this moment at which Lou chooses to make his grand appearances and everyone looks shocked/annoyed/amazed. Izzy calls out Lou shouldn't be so shocked, the affair is least of Paul's problems. Wait till he finds out the good stuff and with that, Izzy stumbles off into the night.
PAUL: Talk about classic vintage Izzy. You see that? Arrives unannounced, desperate for some attention and then bails at the first sign of any repercussions.
Yeah, right buddy. Try to fob it off, but fortunately Lou is smarter and simply gives Paul a look of disbelief. He finally admits he did have an affair with Izzy whilst she was with Karl.
PAUL: Turning over this new leaf business is fabulous. Can't get enough of it.
Lou can't believe him and dishes a bit out but Paul points out there is no more cheery banter? No more housemate jokes? And if he doesn't like the way he lives his life, he can get out. He is not about to be judged, especially by the “likes of him”.
Scummins'/The Bogan's Tipped Hair
“She didn't like bothering the local doctor for such a tiny thing, but he insisted on attending to her wound…”
DocKarl: (wearing his white doctor's coat) There, that should do it. I want you to take care of yourself.
BoganJanelle: Honestly doctor, you didn't have to. I know how fragile you are at the moment. Especially after finding out about…her. I shouldn't have said anything, I'm so sorry.
DocKarl: So beautiful, so nurturing and brave. How could I ever be angry with you?
BoganJanelle: Don't say anymore Karl, you're going through a rough time at the moment. You don't know what you're doing.
DocKarl: You feel that, doesn't that prove it?
(They kiss quite “passionately”)
BoganJanelle: Karl! I'm a married woman. And what about Susan?
DocKarl: (grabs her) Ooh! Even her name sounds wrong on your lips. Why would I want that uptight, cruel, dried up beef-jerky of a woman when I can have a beautiful, sexy, honest woman like you…
FabioPaul: (dressed in an open chest exposing shirt) Get her hands off doc! How can you waste your life on a washed up has been like him? You said if you didn't love me, you couldn't love anyone.
(Paul grabs her, Karl gets back up and it's Janelle in the middle…)
Ooer! Unfortunately (or fortunately depending which way you look at it) Bree interrupts the flow of the story before things can get too heated and pouts she had a bad dream. Janelle is immediately sympathetic and asks what it was about. Bree says it was her dad…but it was a nice one! They were having a BBQ, she just really misses him. Janelle nods, she'd love to have a man around again and bites her lip.
Dressed her white dressing gown, Lil sits in the dark waiting for David. He comes in and they have a little talk…she asks where he was and not to say with a friend. She isn't stupid. David sighs, he really wasn't but was with Karl. Even going so far as to whip his mobile out to verify he was the caller and offers to call Karl to provide the alibi! He just didn't mention anything before as Susan was there. Lil is sorry but was worried he was spending the night with Jackie. David frowns, saying she has no right to say anything…Lil softly replies she knows that. But it doesn't change her feelings – she wants him to be faithful, she loves him! He nods, she's the only woman he's ever wanted. Lil gets it and before you know, the passion is reunited! Mwaha.
The Bogan's Tipped Hair
CruellaSuse: Tell me the truth, did he kiss you?
BoganJanelle: Yes he kissed me. And he liked it.
CruellaSuse: No! It can't be true. Karl would never do that to me.
BoganJanelle: And he called me beautiful and sexy. Two very good reasons why he prefers me to you.
CruellaSuse: Oh Janelle, Janelle! I am begging you, please, please don't take him away. (gets down on her knees) If you take him, I'll have nothing!
BoganJanelle: Don't get your knickers in a knot. I didn't mean for Karl to fall in love with me. (Susan starts weeping) The fact is, I've got my Kim to think about. And he's all the man I'll ever want or need…
Bree reads it out the line about Karl falling in love with her and she squeals in disgust that she kissed Dr Karl! She refuses to give the manuscript back and runs out, yelling who knows what else she put in there.
Paul is stewing and Lucy wants to know why. She thinks it's Lou, so asks to just play nice for all their sakes. She leaves and Lou comes downstairs with a bag. He's all packed and will come back for the other stuff late. Lou snarks he couldn't pay him enough to stay here but before leaving, gives Paul a bit of advice. If Izzy is the gatekeeper to all of his secrets…well, he'd better watch out as the truth has a way of coming out – especially with her in charge.
Ramsay Street – The Scene of Public Outbursts and Spats and Secrets Revealed
Suse sees Lou with a bag and assumes he's going on holiday but he corrects her – he's been kicked out! Susan offers her place, but Lou insists he'll be okay. Lil and David also happen to come out to throw out their rubbish. Gee, all we need is one more player. Paul calls down from the balcony that Lou is taking his time…he needn't call the police to escort him out now? Ahh, Karl drives up. Perfect, pieces set. Lou tells Susan it's about time people knew all about Paul.
LOU: It's not that he tried to con us out of our homes and our livelihoods. Or that he even tried to steal and honest man's wife. He did all of this while he was having an affair with Izzy, behind Karl's back.
Lil looks at Paul, Susan looks at Karl and Karl just death stares.
Karl marches in and heads straight for his target.
KARL: You know. I've been thinking about the past few days. Perhaps it was just your pathetic neediness that led you to lie to me about the baby. Perhaps I should feel sorry for you, instead, instead of angry and betrayed. I even fooled myself into believing that you may have loved me once in your own twisted way and then…and then I find out about you and Paul Robinson. You know I thought had plummeted the depths of your selfishness but then I find there are more lies to uncover. And all I want to know is, why? I mean, I can understand you lying about the baby, I can understand the twisted logic that got you into that place. But, an affair? AN AFFAIR? WITH HIM? I GAVE YOU MY ALL, what more could you have possibly needed?!
IZZY: I don't want to talk about this.
KARL: No no no. Just 5 seconds of honesty girl.
Izzy cries out she has been humiliated enough but Karl simply tells her to turn off her “crocodile tears”, he knows all of her tricks. Izzy pleads she could take it back if she could…what does he want? What does he want? Karl wants Izzy to get the hell out of Erinsborough. He doesn't know how he'll be if he has to bump into her every day.
Janelle sneaks up on Bree and demands she hand back the manuscript before anyone sees it. She need not worry as Bree doesn't want anyone to read it! Janelle gets a bit offended and asks what is wrong with it? Honestly…well, her characters are slightly one-dimensional cardboard cutouts. And her story is slightly unrealistic – all of the guys in the street falling in love with her? Also, she needs to change the names or else she will be sued by all of Ramsay Street and half of Colac. Janelle replies it doesn't matter as no one was ever going to read it anyway. No no! Bree says beside that, when she let “it hang out” it was a good read.
BREE: “The Bogan's Tipped Hair” is certainly going to shatter a few taboos…
JANELLE: That's a good thing right?
Izzy is curled up o her sofa when Mr Robinson comes knocking. She asks if he's come to kick the boot in as everyone else has. Ahh but no, Paul would never hurt her while she is like this. BUT, he can't have her spilling his secrets and shuts the door.