Carmella and Connor finding the shotgun
Janelle telling Dylan he's just like his no good dad
Sindi and Stu having money woes
Carmella speeding away with the gun
Barry's Bush Hideaway
Connor sprints to the garage and lo and behold there's a motorbike in there. Hurrah, even more luck, there's some keys in the ignition! He shoves a helmet on his head, jumps on board and takes off after Carmella in her car (driving stealthily into a bush on his way).
Steph, carrying Oscar, walks into the war zone that was formerly her house. Steph leaves Ozzy with Serena and her and Stingray go into the kitchen to check on the bickering Janelle and Dylan.
Dylan tells his mum he's making a pretty good life for himself in Erinsborough so if she can't hack him acting like his dad she can rack off. Steph chases after Dylan as he heads out the front door. Stingray rolls his eyes. “Good one mum.”
Dylan's car can be heard speeding away as Sindi checks over her and Stu's finances. Looks like they're not going to be able to afford the reading machine for sure. Sindi says they'll find a way though (yes, it begins with ‘L' and ends in ‘apland Follies'). Stu suggests they go out for a few, cheap, drinks but Sindi's got other plans, she's going out with Izzy to the movies (insert obvious eye wink here). Stu wonders why that sounds like a “porky pie” but Sindi says it's because she knows he doesn't like her hanging around with Izzy. He tries to invite himself along but Sindi worms her way out of it saying that they'll spend the next night together instead.
Bushland – The Fast And The Furious Neighbours Style
Connor burns along after Carmella, driving through mud and dense scrub. He yells out to her to stop… over the noise of both engines and with the helmet muffling his mouth. Carmella, not having eardrums the size of the moon, doesn't hear him and doesn't slow down.
We cut to motorbike-cam as we see what Connor sees. There's a pile of wood that looks like a jump but he sadly doesn't fly over it (Steph so would have you chicken). Connor manages to get in front of her and tries to get off his bike but nearly manages to crush himself underneath it in the process. Smooth. Carmella gets away and the race begins again (if this were Mario Kart Carmella should have so shot a turtle shell out the back of her car).
Stingray is letting Janelle in on a few home truths. He tells her that she's too harsh on Dylan and that she makes him feel like a hufta. Janelle says she tries to love him but she can't – “I feel what I feel okay?” Stinger doesn't back down though and says she's to blame for Dylan's stuff ups.
Steph walks in with Harold to tell them Dylan's taken off. Janelle snaps at Harry for coming over to stickybeak but Steph informs her Harold's there to tell them about Karl's heart attack. Janelle looks suitably abashed and they talk about Karl's welfare… until Harold smells something burning. The cake! What an important crisis! Everyone then becomes more worried about the dessert. Sure it's burnt now but just wait till it has a heart attack, then see who cares anymore. Harold says he can fix that up for her in a jiffy but Janelle tells him to “shove [his] stupid cake!” Stingray follows her down the hallway snitting that she should just do a door knock and upset the whole neighbourhood.
Steph reassures Harry he didn't do anything wrong, Janelle's just upset about Dylan. Cue trademark Harry, “Arr…”
Bushland – The Fast And The Furious Neighbours Style
And the race is still going. Connor, man, would you stop yelling out, she can't hear you! “Carmella!” Sigh, no one takes my advice. They speed past a sign that says ‘No Shooting' (because it's not wabbit season… duck season! Wabbit season!), until Carmella finds herself blocked by a gate. Connor gets off the bike and runs to the car door asking if she's all right. Carmella looks shocked at herself and shakily apologises to him, hugging him tightly as she gets out of the car. Connor and his helmet hair are just thankful they caught up.
Janelle takes her stuff from the laundry Steph's folding and tells her she's going back to Colac, “there's no point sticking around, the boys won't have a bar of me.” Steph looks shocked and says that no son should have to hear what Dylan did; he was only trying to do something nice for her.
JANELLE: And what would you know about it? You don't even have kids. Try living my life for five minutes before you judge.
STEPH: Excuse me, but Summer and Boyd are my kids.
Janelle says that Kym treated her like a dog all throughout their marriage and that she was practically a single mum. Steph replies that she can't hold Dylan responsible for what Kym has done but Janelle thinks he's a lost cause; she thought it would be better to put more effort into the other kids. “I know it sounds harsh but I was right, wasn't I? Dylan's turned out to be just a big no hoper like his dad.” Steph wisely reiterates that if a kid can't get attention by doing something good he's going to find some other way. “If you think Dylan's some kind of monster, Janelle, he's a monster of your own making.”
Dylan, Serena and Stingray slump in. Stinger steps aside to chat to Harold and apologise on behalf of his mum. Harry appreciates the sentiment.
Susan comes in as Stinger sits down to wait for his “cups of chino” and Harold asks how Karl is. Susan says that he'll be fine but is more concerned about the burnt mud cake and has a bunch of condolence flowers for it… I kid, I kid. Harry's going to visit Karl in the morning along with Libby, Darren and Ben when they arrive. Susan's hoping to have something quick to eat and then fall down in a heap and sleep but Harold informs her of Dylan's dilemma. “In that case I better go the cheesecake,” sighs Susan.
Back at the tormented teenager table Dylan's still angry about what his mum said to him, and rightly so. Serena tries to reassure him that Janelle said some harsh things to her in the past but they're good now. “Yeah, well you don't have much chance of looking like my dad,” Dylan mumbles. Susan wanders over with her cheesecake to work her motherly magic over them. She tries to reason that Janelle might be stressed at the moment but Stingray won't hear it. “Our mum's not gonna change nothin'. She's just a selfish, bludgin' life-stuffer. I just want her to shonk off out of here.”
Janelle stumbles out to the lounge room with her packed bags while Steph still tries to reason with her. She's getting a bit sick of her self-pity party and tries to tell her that saying what she said to Dylan can be really damaging to a kid.
JANELLE: Another stuck-up moll trying to tell me how to live my life. Ever think of giving a chick a go?
STEPH: You know, I reckon you've had a pretty fair go. My mum's given you a roof over your head, a chance at a really good job I mean we've all tried to welcome you. But that doesn't mean we have to stand back and watch you cop out on the responsibility of your kids.
JANELLE: You want to chase down Kym and tell him about his responsibilities?
STEPH: Your husband may have abandoned you, but you're abandoning Dylan.
JANELLE: I lost Dylan a long time ago.
Steph says it's not too late and that if Janelle can stay and try and work things out she can repair the damage. Steph encourages her to show Dylan some affection.
Barry's Bush House
Carmella's all in a tizz because of what she nearly did and angrily says she's just like her father. Connor gently says she's been under a lot of pressure lately and adds that it may be a good idea to seek some professional help, like a counsellor. He offers to run her a hot bath but she gets a determined look on her face and says she wants to head back. Connor is incredulous but Carmella says she doesn't want to go on hiding, “I want to deal with this.”
Sindi comes by to say cheerio to Stu, wearing a trench coat of mysteriousness. Stu's folding the washing in his special way, only getting stuck on a few items; like mistaking Toadie's boxers for Sindi's pyjama pants. Sindi's in a hurry though and can't help out.
STU: This is what I don't get. You're choosing Antonio over me when he thinks that Melanie Griffith is the sane option.
SINDI: Oh hey, Working Girl is a modern classic I hope you know.
She moves in closer to him which causes a red alert – Stu can feel what she's wearing now and wonders why she's got a big coat on. She lies and says it's going to rain later but Stu didn't hear that on the news. “Stu this is me! It's going to be fashion over temperature any day of the week… I gotta go.” She makes a quick exit and Stu feels a song coming on. I believe it goes something like this, “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”
Serena is standing with Stinger by the sink as he shakes the pasta everywhere to try and drain it.
SUSAN: Hey, hey, hey. That better be edible.
STINGRAY: It's okay Suse it'll have a special flavour; ‘pasta a la sink'.
SERENA: And ‘a la floor'.
Susan takes some juice over to the table where Dylan is and says it's probably best if he stays with her again for a while considering the circumstances. He promises he won't cause any trouble and then asks in a sad voice if she loves her kids all the same. Susan says that's hard to answer and ponders that she loves them all as individuals and can sometimes be closer to one when they need her more, but concludes that she does love them a lot. She says that Janelle loves Dylan even though it may not seem like it but he doesn't think so. “I'm going to look out for myself from now on.” He uses Paul as an example of someone who has no one around but is still successful and says he's going to model himself on him. Susan's thinking, ‘Oh dear Lord' but smiles and pats his arm reassuringly all the same.
There's a knock at the door and Susan answers to find Janelle there, wanting a word with Dylan. He gets up and goes over to her not looking too happy. Janelle says she knows she wasn't fair before and that she wants another go at being a family again. Dylan throws her apology back in her face and says he doesn't need her anymore, “you're pathetic!” Janelle turns her head away in time to escape a door slam in the snoz.
Carmella and Connor are back from their bush bash with Carmella feeling awful because they reported the shot gun and Barry may get in strife. Stu and Connor try to reassure her that Barry will be fine and that she needn't worry about Frank either; he wouldn't be stupid enough to risk his bail. Connor tells Stu that Carmella is thinking about counselling and Stu offers to help them via the Victims Assistance Program.
The subject changes to Sindi's whereabouts and Stu says “she's at the movie with some girlfriends” (yes, the singular movie, it's a very small cinema). He lets them in on a little secret though – he thinks Sindi was lying because his detection of voice intonations has heightened now because of the loss of his sight. The CC's tell him he's being silly though and not to worry. But wait… if only they could hear the music playing over the scene! Why it's the return of the ‘bow chicka bow wow' chorus!
Loud men applaud and whistle the pair of legs in very high heels dancing before them on stage. A random extra gets a memorable close-up because he is the most hammy extra I've ever seen – he's all, ‘Yeah baby! Woo!' with exaggerated facial expressions Jim Carrey would be proud of.
The legs dance on as Don, Sindi's old boss, sleazes his way over to her as she walks in. He asks if she wants a drink before she struts her stuff but she just wants to get it over and done with. The legs dance off stage as Sindi wiggles on. She spins and twirls and undoes her trench coat revealing a very skimpy red dress.
Steph is trying yet again to make an upset Janelle stay in town and not walk away from the mess. Janelle says there's no point because Dylan looked at her as though he hated her. “And why wouldn't he? I have been a rotten mum to him haven't I? I just didn't realise how much until I saw that look in his eyes.” She breaks down in more tears and tries to leave but Steph forcefully snatches her bags from her and tells her to listen. “I put my mother through hell in my time, she never gave up on me, not once. That's what I've learnt from her is that no matter what your kids do you never ever, you never give up on them.” The message seems to have gotten through to Janelle this time.
Stingray and Serena are watching telly on the couch as Harold bids them adieu on his way to close up work. Stinger says that Serena was pretty freaked out by Janelle before so he understands if she wants to dump him. Serena just smiles at him though and says he's a good person. “My families had some tough times as well” (yeah, at least Shazza didn't turn out to be Stinger's half-sister or something I guess), and adds that she only has to love him, not everyone else. She turns the TV off and reminds him they've got the house to themselves for once. He looks pleased at this thought and they giggle their way to the bedroom.
Sindi puts her coat back on after her performance, slinging her dress over her shoulder as she makes her way off stage to rapturous applause. She collects some tips and walks over to sleazy Don. He tells her that he had a few offers from men about her and basically gives her the chance to “spend some time” with one of them. She steadfastly declines and says she's not doing that for a couple of hundred bucks, “what sort of a girl do you think I am?” Don informs her though that it's not hundreds, it's thousands. Sindi's eyes do that ‘ker-ching ker-ching' dollar sign thing but she still says no… she's looking sorely tempted though to earn that cash for Stu. Don't do it Sindi!