Connor going for a sixer down the slippery stairs
David and Lil arguing about shares in the stock market
Sindi telling Stu she'll wait for the “real Stu” to come back
Outside the Bishop House
Lil is putting out the rubbish just as David drives up the street in Paul's big red car (on loan from The Wiggles – let's hope they don't show up for another birthday, oh the calamity). Lil is far from impressed. David should sing Hot Potato.
Susan and Lyn look on in concern as Sindi cries over the onions she's cutting… except they're turnips. She's just sad about Stu and pulls up a chair with Suse and Lynnie to vent her sorrows. Her surrogate mums tell her that she needs to give Stu time to get over his pride issues, and just to move on for now.
LYN: See, too much energy in the relationship pillar makes the others weak, sweetheart. You remember your synergetic triangle.
SUSAN: … Or have a bath!
Sindi thinks this is a splendid idea but warns them there could be sobbing (“Uh-oh!” cries Oscar on cue, how adorable!). She gives Susan her rent money before she drowns her sorrows in the non-drinky way… and uh, the non-dying way.
Lyn wonders what that's all about and Susan replies she gave all her houseguests the kick in the pants she should have done weeks ago. She changes the subject and coyly asks Lynnie who she's snazzing herself up for. Lyn gives her a hesitant look.
David and Lil are arguing again much to Harry's annoyance, “Do you mind? I'm trying to create a menu here!” His words go unheard though as the arguing continues. Lil can't believe that Paul lent David the car, especially since she asked him to look after her husband. Harold can hear the warning bells, “I know how this is going to end. I'll see you in casualty,” he states, before heading to his room. David gets all uppity about this Paul revelation and wonders where the trust is. Lil tells him she did it because she's worried about him, he's been on a weird power trip lately trying to win friends in high places. Dave just wants his wife to respect and support him – so Lil walks away in frustration.
Once Lyn and Susan are settled on the couch with their coffees, Lyn spills the beans – she's been seeing a bit of someone lately (an arm here, a leg there…). Only that someone happens to be a Life Coaching client, who's also kind of in a relationship at the moment. He's supposed to be leaving his wife soon, and nothing has happened between Lynnie and Andy (mystery guy) yet, but there have been flirtations.
LYN: The last time I was flirted with was Joe and that was back in the Stone Age.
Lynnie's all a flutter; she said she'd meet up with him that night. Susan is of course wary of how this could turn out having been in a similar situation herself and gently warns Lynette to tread carefully.
Karl and Susan just happen to bump into one another while passing Lou and Gino's rowdy table. They chat about how Susan has book club that night, how Karl wants to drop some eggplants off to her house later so Suse can whip up something for Tom… Grandpa Tom that is . They also think it would be a good idea if Karl went to Number 30 and checked on Stu – he missed his specialist appointment that morning.
The two of them part ways as Lou goes over to Harold and orders some coffees. “What? No peanuts for the performing monkey?” snits Harry. Lou thinks he's just acting out on jealousy but Harold really thinks Gino is playing Lou for a fool – his theory is that Gino's only wining and dining him to get back at his ex-housemate. Mr Esposito looks suspiciously in their general direction while Lou waves away Harry's silly idea. “You've really got tickets on yourself, haven't you!”
Stu sits forlornly on the couch while Connor gets the pies out of the BBQ? I'm not surprised it's in the lounge room though, I half expect the fridge to make an appearance next. Carmella's out clubbing since her stalker has been put away (pfftyeahright), so it's a boy's night, complete with surrogate Toadie aka Max!
He arrives with some beers just in time for a barbequed pie. Mmm… Connor and Max are very cheery and Stu can see (figuratively of course, no miracles for Stu this week) right through their act, “If this whole bonding caper's for my benefit, thanks but no thanks, I don't think I'm up for it.” They protest that it's not but Stu says he'll just go and listen to some CDs or something. (I hear the Wiggles are a riot…). Max takes that as his cue to go, leaving Connor sitting on the couch with Bob in his cute Essendon scarf. Bob wants the BBQ pies…
Gino is telling Lou that he could be a stand up comedian if he wanted to. Lou doesn't think so though and also tells Gino he's kind of over being the show pony. He wants to know if people are laughing with him or at him. Gino says the first one of course and wonders where he got such an idea. Cue a hilarious cut to Harry over in the Coffee Shop area, drying a cup, looking smug like the cat that got the cream and the belly that got the jelly. “Oh, I should have known,” Gino remarks.
Lil asks David if they can talk. She says she's sorry for going behind his back but it was for his own good. “Sometimes talking to you is like talking to a…” “Ahh, hang on!” David cuts in, yelling excitedly at the telly. “… Brick wall,” she finishes. It turns out that the Photonics stock is going really well and that David put money on it when Lil said not to. Needless to say she ain't too happy. She argues that they're still in mountains of debt and he shouldn't have lied to her but David can't see out of his rose coloured glasses properly and says that's why he did it – to make some quick cash.
Lyn is looking all nice and dressed up, waiting for her Andycakes. Max asks “Cinderella” if she's waiting for her Prince, which makes Lyn twitter nervously and say she's meeting a Life Coaching client. “Didn't you have a boys bonding night?” she asks. (Translation: Why are you here you fool? You've wrecked my night of flirtatious fun!). “The glue didn't quite stick, anyway, I'm helping out here.” (Translation: I want to see who you're dressed up for, oh, and your hair is quite marvellous). “Yeah, don't let me keep you.” (Translation: Rack off). “… Yeah right. Enjoy your session.” (Translation: I will be hiding behind a plant and spying on you. LIAR!). Lynnie quickly calls her Andycakes and cancels their non-date, which is totally a date. “I don't think I can meet you tonight… I just think we need to keep things more professional between us.” (Translation: Meet me behind the school sheds in five for a snog).
Gino is expressing his anger at Harold for making Lou suspicious of him. He says that Harold is just jealous but Harry says he won't sit by and watch Lou be used like a pawn in some childish game.
GINO: You're all talk, what about those prank calls the whole weekend? (He puts on a simpering, whiny, baby voice) Just because you weren't invited to Daylesford.
HAROLD: Me prank call? Don't be ridiculous.
GINO: I had the calls traced back to your house!
HAROLD: … Ahh.
Gino tells him if he's sad and lonely now he's only got himself to blame. Harold tries to give him his change but he says he can keep it, “rent a friend.” Aww, Harry looks like he's going to cry. Max has been meticulously drying the same jug in the background the whole scene. He's still plotting ways to spring Lyn, I'm sure of it.
And the argument continues. David doesn't see why Lil's happy about their turn of fortune but she says it's because he betrayed her trust. And they're off with the screaming and the yelling and the shouting and the wah-hey – just as Lil opens the door to a stunned looking Susan and Sindi, primed and ready to go for book club. They say they'll come back later but Lil ushers them in. Silly David wants to keep arguing though and goes on about how he's the provider for his family and how he's steering the ship now. I think he just wants to be a pirate. Sindi and Susan go back to their original idea of making a hasty retreat except this time Lil joins them. “Well happy sailing. Bon voyage, Captain,” she snarks at David. Arr, thar she goes.
Stu obviously got sick of his CDs (he must have had his Celine one on) because he's back in the lounge room with Connor and… Karl! Wow, that looks really fish-out-of-watery. Kind of like a ballerina in a mosh pit or something. He gets served a BBQ pie too while Connor runs off to find some sauce.
For someone who is blind, Stu is getting very good at seeing through awkward situations. He realises Karl is there on business so Karl thinks he may as well turn it into a doctor session. He wants to know why he skipped his session that morning and Stu replies that he doesn't need a professional to tell him he's blind. Connor walks in to hear Karl say that Stu needs to stop pushing people away and that everyone needs help once in a while. When the Doc leaves, Connor says to Stu that Karl's right. “Swallow your stupid pride or you'll end up losing everything. Including Sindi. And that's one person you don't want to lose.” Stu stews.
Sindi is reading from the soppy novel of the night, which Lil finds stupid but Susan says is romantic. The conversation soon turns to the topic of ‘men are evil' for which Lil and Sindi are the spokespeople. Lil compares David to Tarzan the Ape Man but Susan attributes the men's problems to a loss of primal power, “Stuart through the loss of his sight, David through the loss of his business.”
LIL: I wish they'd speed up the evolution process.
SUSAN: Yeah well it could be worse, look at Karl. When he thought he lost his primal power he hit the bottle and picked up a blonde (offering them the platter in a deadpan voice) Salami?
Morning at Suse's
Lil spent the night on the couch instead of being subject to David the Ape Man also known as “Captain Bossy-Pants”. Sindi rushes out all delighted saying, “Nineteen minutes, twenty eight seconds.” Susan notes that it's twenty off her usual time – Sindi has been a water saver and only wasted a quarter of the world's water supply in the shower instead of half. Good girl.
Susan answers the door to David who is looking for Lil. He says he's disappointed that she didn't come home last night and that they should talk… but he's playing golf so he'll leave his mobile on. The look on Lil's face is a mixture of, ‘I know where you can shove your golf clubs' and ‘I hate fighting with you'. David makes his way out. Lil tells the girls that was David's way of saying he's not going to back down.
Sindi answers another knock at the door (it's like Grand Central Station there!) and finds Stu who wants a chat with her. Susan and Lil take their coffees out the front to give them some privacy. “I'm listening…” Sindi tells Stu.
Stu admits to Sindi that he didn't get much sleep the night before because he was thinking of her and how pigheaded he's been. He says he worked out that a caring, supportive woman deserves much more than a proud, childish idiot.
STU: I want to make it up to you if you'll let me come back.
I think the big cuddle Sindi gives him is a sufficient yes (even though he still asks!).
STU: There is one other thing.
STU: You know when I said that it was all your fault, I…
SINDI: No, it's okay.
STU: No it's not okay, Sindi. It's not. I walked back into that fire because I love you and I'd do it a thousand times more if it meant not losing you.
Sindi is suitably charmed and relived. I'm just charmed. Sigh.
Harold tries to talk to Lou but he pretends he's busy. Max rolls his eyes.
MAX: I'll leave you two lovebirds to it then shall I?
HAROLD: (In a ‘how rude' voice) Really…
Back and forth back and forth the Lou and Harry talk goes like a long game of tennis until they admit to one another that they've missed each other's company. They agree to a night on the town while Max… walks out of the wine fridge cellar thing? He's happy they've made up but it's short-lived when Gino saunters up and Max hilariously retreats back into his fridge. Lou remembers that he was supposed to go see Evita with Gino and his harem (Max peeks out from his cubby) but Gino says not to bother, he and the ladies have been asked to a fashion launch instead, invite only. “I'm sure you'll find a substitute,” he snarks, looking directly at Harold then walking away. Max smirks that Gino's “lost without you, Lou”. That was Out Of The Blue, Max. Not at all Predictable.
Connor's driving along in his ute (with a cute pic of Carmella and Maddy stuck inside), bopping along to a song on the radio… until the reception goes funny. He looks down to fix it. Bad idea taking your eyes off the traffic there, man. He has to swerve to miss oncoming vehicles then scarily finds out his brakes don't work. He sashays left and right trying to miss all the cars and finally comes to a stop in a vacant lot after pulling the clutch… or the handbrake maybe… I don't know, I know as much about cars as Sindi does. Connor's quite shaken (but not stirred).
The stalker in the blonde wig (he looks like Fred from Scooby Doo) sits in his car and watches Lou and Connor at the ute from behind his newspaper. Lou tells Connor that there was brake fluid everywhere. Connor asks Lou to give the car a once over, he's got to take some folders to Carmella at work… looks like he'll be getting the bus.
He walks to the bus stop and the stalker turns around and… IT'S FRANK THE BODYGUARD! The excitement warrants capitalising! He gets out of his car and walks determinedly towards Connor (who has his back to him), reaching for something in his jacket, possibly to whack him over the head with.
A million Neighbours viewers yell as one: BEHIND YOU! GRRAAGHHHHH!