Valda, following Harold's kiss (to demonstrate him not being gay) asks if he's feeling a little confused, and tells him to keep his options open, as Harold is uselessly trying to apologise, Valda tells him there is no backing out “proof of the pudding's in the eating – and I'm going to come back for seconds”. Lou enters, holding Blanche and Stella and asks Valda not to let them watch him in the shower. She tells him it's curiosity as they're not used to men in the house, and were trying to be friendly. She presents Harold with his breakfast, calling him “hot lips”, the meaning of which is not lost on Lou who calls Harold a dirty old dog.
Number 28 Driveway
Karl and Susan are packing the car for their weekend away, Susan tells Karl he doesn't need to take his own sheets, Karl replies that he doesn't want to sleep under someone else's old dooner. Checklist: camera, herbal teas, CDs, Susan responds with a weary yes and tells him that they are supposed to be getting away from it all not taking it all with them. Tad comes out of the house with more bags, and is given petsitting instructions, Cassie is apparently off her grass. Karl warns Tad that he's taken an inventory of the wine cupboard, Susan quips that he's marked all the bottles. Karl reminds him to deadlock every door, Susan tells him to have a nice time, Karl and Susan continue bickering, polished off with a final yell from Susan “give me the keys” as Tad saunters back up the drive.
Valda finishes washing up and announces she is off to freshen up, pausing to describe the pleasure of a mid morning shower, and of the hot water cascading over your body. She invites Harold for a walk afterwards, he declines, thankful to use work as an excuse. Valda persists and points out that the tickets for Breakfast at Tiffany's are still valid – Harold then claims he has a meeting he's forgotten about. A nightcap at the pub? Don't drink. Valda says she's sure she'll find something to tempt Harold with and saunters off to her shower. Harold emits a small squeak. Lou chuckles and goes back to his paper. As soon as Valda is out of the room, Harold asks Lou to help him, explaining the whole ‘kiss to prove he wasn't gay' thing. Lou finds this highly amusing, emitting a proper Sid James laugh and teasing Harold about a gay nightclub in town called Dukes. Then he twigs that as he lives with Harold, Valda must have presumed them partners. The tables are turned, and Harold starts to tease Lou about going to Dukes.
Tad and Doula are talking about ‘Blink', an idea for a set from Doula that includes trance, techno and lounge. Tad points out that he doesn't do lounge. They haggle over such details, and Tad's pay, Doula then asks about the gig with extreme games. Tad says that there are slight problems with him leaving the country, and that the cops are involved. Doula says that it sounds heavy, and it would be a pity not to go. Tad lends her some music, and she begins to look a bit shifty and upset.
Lou hands Valda a very artful looking fruit cup on the house. Valda thanks him and says that he and Harold are two of a kind, Lou is worried until she adds that she means they're both generous. She adds that she would like to offer Harold a thank you gift for letting her stay, and asks Lou his opinion on giving him a stamp album that used to belong to her sister Beverly . Lou flicks through and says he's not sure Harold would be interested. Valda says that the thought a sensitive, introverted type like Harold would be into something like that. Lou says he doesn't think Valda knows Harold very well, and he's more into rambling in the country with his mates, a man's man, enjoying “roughing it in the country with other men”. Valda realises that Harold is a complex character, but is only more fascinated at the prospect of finding the inner Harold. Lou then protest that Harold is actually quite simple really and is in the middle og trying this new tack to dissuade Valda when he notices a particular stamp – a kangaroo and map stamp 1924, worth about $4000, and another one next to it. He wonders how much the whole album would fetch, and you can almost see the dollar signs lighting up in Valda's eyes.
Outside Number 30
Toadie and Dee are loading their car for their weekend away. Toadie, in an echo of Karl's earlier scene starts worrying that Stuart will forget to feed Bob. Dee tells him to stop making excuses, it will be a wonderfully relaxing weekend. Toadie carries on making excuses, and Dee carries on squashing them. Lyn passes by with Harvey and tells them to have a lovely time. Dee explains to her that Toadie is expecting WWIII in their absence. Toadie ends the scene, admitting defeat with the line “there better be TV”.
Doula enters through the kitchen window, sneaks across to a cupboard and puts something in it. Tad enters (through the rather more normal route of the front door) talking on his phone to someone, and goes through to the kitchen, giving Doula the opportunity to exit through the front door.
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Karl is making some very bored sounding noises (somewhere between a tuba and a didgeridoo). Susan tells him that if he's bored he should go for a walk. Karl says that he isn't bored but carries on making the noises. Susan asks him what he's reading, he reels off the name of some obscure sounding medical paper. Susan: “You're bored”. Karl invites Susan for a swim, she initially refuses but eventually says she'll follow, and that the bathers are in the bag. Karl: “Who needs bather?” Susan gives him a very Susan look and tells him he's obsessed with getting his gear off, and asks him if he's forgotten what happened the last time they went skinny dipping. Karl asks (as well he might) what could go wrong, the beach is so close. Susan refuses point blank until Karl accuses her of being chicken, and tells her she has a thing about nude bathing. Susan denies this, Karl asks her to prove it. She makes very clear that she was enjoying her book, and that Karl is being the juvenile one, whilst stripping down. Her argument is that he's to scared to bathe nude on his own and needs her support, and she wishes he'd just admit it. By this point we are lead to believe that she is completely naked, Karl gives her a silly grin and tells her “looking good Mrs K.”. Susan stalks off to the beach and we get a carefully timed shot of Karl's boxers coming down before he turns to join her, silly grin still intact.
Drew and Steph banter about how best to mend a car, Drew tells Steph that if he knew it would be that easy to make Steph happy then he would have got her to the garage days ago, plus she's cheap labour. Steph goes into the workshop to get some plugs and notices a bike and asks Drew about it. He says it's Tad's dream machine, and that Tad had left it there ages ago and would never get around to doing anything on it now. Steph is interested (to Drew's surprise, it's only 250cc), she says she'd like to buy it off Tad to do up. Drew says it would be easy as it only cost Tad a hundred bucks.
Valda tells Lyn about how it's always been her dream to sail the high seas, she never thought it would happen. She has sold one page of her album, and talks of it bringing salvation. Lynn questions Valda's use of the word salvation, and Valda admits that up until this point she has been destitute. Lyn asks Valda why she didn't tell her and is answered with a hug. Lyn then starts talking about the possibility of Valda finding ‘someone special' on her travels, adding that she thinks people on holidays are more daring. Valda agrees – which leads nicely into the next scene…
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Toadie and Dee arrive at the supposedly isolated location. Dee is complaining about the journey and as they arrive, their first wonderful sight of the view is marred by the appearance of other people's belongings on the loungers. Dee complains further – people should leave the place as they found it. Just as Toadie is suggesting that it looks like the previous occupants might still be here we hear voices, and Karl and Susan (from the shoulders up) run up from behind some bushes shouting, and I quote: Karl: “You can't do that on the beach!” Susan: “You're all talk, you!” They see Toadie and Dee, Susan screams and they hide behind some bushes. Toadie: “Bit cold in the water Doc, eh?”
Cut to later in the day, the two couples are sat around the dinner table, fully clothed having obviously enjoyed a very polite dinner and making even politer conversation about rare black cockatoos and Booker prize shortlist novels (Ian McEwan's Atonement). They all make excuses to head separate ways, and Dee is asking to borrow Karl's camera when Toadie emerges with a game of Twister.
Valda is telling Harold about the stamp book, and her imminent departure to the South Pacific. She invites him to go with her and tempts him with descriptions of tropical islands. He tells her he has too many commitments, which she starts to argue against before realising that she's been too full on. She apologises and Harold nods in acknowledgement. Seconds later a taxi beeps outside for Valda. Harold wishes her all the best and Valda then proceeds to wonder about what would have happened if they'd met under different circumstances. Harold politely but firmly tells her that they'll never know. She tells him that some day he'll make someone very happy. He replies with the customary “aah”
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Short scene of Karl, Susan, Dee and Toadie playing Twister very raucously.
Steph is trying to convince Tad to sell the bike. Tad is reluctant, saying he's even given the bike a name – Bruce, after his first dog. They haggle for a minute and then settle on $80, Tad says that he knows Bruce is going to a safe home. He goes to the cupboard to get the documentation and discovers his old passport that he lost.