Tad and Flick tell Cheyenne that Paul could go to court and get a sentence. Cheyenne denies doing anything.
Allana's latest challenge to Lance is to get a picture of himself and Jimmy LeVan - the star of Kosmosis.
Lance wakes Toadie to say that the nursing home won't let him in to see Jimmy LeVan unless he's a relative. Toadie is annoyed - he's been up all night studying.
Lance is downhearted, but then he catches sight of the picture of Allana in her Bajoran Star Trek gear on the wall.
LANCE: I refuse to abandon my mission!
(makes Kosmosis salute)
Tad is going to take some posters round about Hemisfear. Harold tells Paul not to take on too much sport. Harold is worried that Cheyenne is a bad influence on Paul.
Lance is planning to barge into the nursing home, but Toadie vetoes this because there's a load of old people there! Lance says maybe he could pretend to be a relative, but Toadie doesn't think he's got a hope.
Madge is putting up Tad's Hemisfear posters and Harold is packing up the rented computers. They agree to pay more attention at home and less at work from now on.
Michelle comes in and invites Tess to go shopping with her(!) Dione tells Tess quietly that she's got a fan!
Dione and Tess talk about going trail biking and then about single life. Dione is a bit annoyed that Joel is taking to single life so well!
Michelle comes back and badgers Tess about going shopping again.
Lance is begging Joel to help him get the photo of Jimmy LeVan. All through this, Joel is on the phone trying to arrange a date(!)
LANCE: Joel, I don't have a little black book. All I have is Allana. You don't want me to be single forever now do you? Because that's what's going to happen if I don't get this photo of Jimmy. It'll be me...alone...forever. I'll have to spend every Christmas with you. With you and your family. Your kids will say, "Here comes poor old Uncle Lance again! Alone...forlorn...toothless. And you'll remember to yourself that yes, once upon a time there was a girl for Lance, her name was Allana. And then you'll think to yourself, "Selfishly, I didn't help him" and you'll look at me, the piteous, old, loveless and dribbling mess that I've become and you will rue the day you ever turned me down, forsaking forever my one true chance at love...
JOEL: Shut up!
Lance begs Toadie to help him with his quest too, but he just laughs.
Cheyenne tells Paul that she wishes they did all the same subjects so they'd be together all the time. Flick scoffs. Paul tells Cheyenne that he's got a meeting with a football scout that afternoon.
Dione comes round with a meal for Toadie to say thank you for announcing the Wigs For Kids on Uni FM. Toadie isn't there, so Dione is forced to talk stiltedly to Joel. Dione picks up Joel's little black book and flicks through it. She flounces out, a bit upset.
The Waterfall Nursing Home
Lance puts his head round the door and we see that Toadie has been roped in to help him. He is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with deeley boppers and a Kazoo. His brief is to cause a distraction while Lance sneaks in to meet Jimmy LeVan.
Toadie enters the nursing home (he now has a clown nose on)
TOADIE: (monotone) Hi. I'm Sparky the most wonderful clown in the world. I'm here for a matinee performance.
The receptionist quizzes Toadie while Lance sneaks past. Toadie tells her he went to clown school in France for three years.
RECEPTIONIST: What was it called?
TOADIE: L'ecole de clownes.
But Toadie starts to warm to his subject and the receptionist starts to smile.
Elsewhere, Lance creeps through the nursing home as Mission Impossible-type music plays. He finds Jimmy LeVan's room, but a couple of old ladies have alert Security to his presence!
At the reception, Toadie is asked to do some of his "clown act"
Lance is chased through the corridors by Security.
The receptionist tells Toadie that they don't have a clown booked.
Lance hides from Security and some old people behind a bush. Then he spys Jimmy walking across a lawn and makes after him!
The Coffee Shop
Doula has put her poster up over Tad's. He takes it down. Tess puts a "Housemate Wanted" sign up over Tad's poster. He makes her take it down. Flick moans at Paul and Cheyenne randomly (they are sitting at a table)
Michelle asks Tess if she can move in with her! But Tess says she can't afford the rent(!)
Waterfall Nursing Home
Lance is sitting on a seat with Jimmy LeVan. He assures him he's not on a Uni treasure hunt. Jimmy is relieved as the last lot apparently tried to steal his cape(!) Jimmy sees Lance's camera and says he doesn't do photos - he was incredibly handsome once and doesn't want to see himself now! Jimmy offers Lance a lock of his hair, but Lance says that won't be good enough for Allana. He explains the situation and Jimmy is interested in the Seven Labours story. He agrees to have a photo taken. Lance makes the Kosmosis sign, and then so does Jimmy!
Back at the reception, Toadie is playing his kazoo very badly. Then he tells the receptionist he can't juggle, but he doesn't want to talk about it as it's a sensitive subject and he was nearly kicked out of clown school for it(!)
Lance runs up with the photo of himself and Jimmy.
LANCE: Mission accomplished! Let's go!
The receptionist gives Toadie her number and they run off, just as Security arrives!
The Coffee Shop
Tad is moaning about Doula's posters.
Cheyenne, Tad and Flick wish Paul luck with the football guy.
Lance and Toadie run in, Toadie playing his kazoo and Lance making the Kosmosis sign repeatedly.
Joel is looking in despair at Toadie's leaflets which have arrived. Lance shows Joel the photo and says, "She will be mine!" Toadie's chuffed that he's got the receptionist's phone number.
The Coffee Shop
Cheyenne complains to Madge about her coffee.
MADGE: (icily) Thanks for the feedback!
Dione tells Tess that she's going to start her own little black book to spite Joel! Michelle is eavesdropping on this in the background. Toadie comes in and asks Michelle to deliver pamphlets. She isn't keen, but Tess says she had a job like that once, so Michelle says she'll think about it!
Paul comes in and tells them that he's going to train with the East Side Dingoes Under 19s over the summer! Madge and Harold are very pleased, but less so when Cheyenne drags Paul off.
Lance calls Allana to tell her that he's completed Labour 2.
Lance picks up the little black book and mocks Joel that Dione's number isn't in it.
LANCE: Didn't Dione make the cut, Joel!
JOEL: Maybe she was too good for it. Maybe she was more than a phonenumber in a stupid book right from the start. Think about that.
He wanders off, dejectedly.
Cheyenne is excited about Paul's football. She wants to go with him to a football social, but Paul says Madge and Harold won't let him on a school night. Cheyenne says they can sneak out, but Paul tells her to grow up. As she continues to moan, Paul takes her to task. He asks her if she realises the flack he copped over covering for her stealing the football boots and tells her she only ever thinks about herself. He tells her to go - she only cares about having a footballer hanging off her arm, not about him. He tells her they're finished. Tad and Flick have come in through the back door and overhear this.