Lyn gives Michelle money for the school camp, Michelle buys a few chocolate bars. Paul gets knocked down in the football match and is unconscious.
Karl runs over to Paul on the ground and calls back to the spectators for his bag and stretcher. Flick and Madge are watching worriedly from the sideline. Karl asks Paul if he knows where he is, and he does; he then tells Harold he's most likely suffering from concussion.
Chelle and Bianca are going through the chocolate bars and decide to pool their resources for a better chance to win the top prize - meeting Boy Four!
Lyn comes in and asks Bianca if she's looking forward to camp, and then asks Michelle for a receipt for the camp money she gave her. Chelle then confesses to Bianca - after Lyn leaves - that she spend ALL the money on chocolate bars in the hope of winning...
Hey - this isn't soccer as I know it. It must be Australian football or something. The team are still playing, and Drew scores a goal to win the game as the last whistle goes. Steph cheers on from the sideline, delighted.
Drew points out to the Daniel (who appears to be the team captain) that Karl's not back yet, and Daniel is worried that Paul might not be alright.
Chelle tells Bianca that she feels so bad that she wants to spend the camp money on chocolate bars - but she probably shouldn't. Bianca eggs her on, but Chelle isn't sure - it would be stealing $200 from her parents. Bianca convinces her, though - she wants to pash one of the Boy Four members, doesn't she?
Ugh. What a phrase.
Karl and Susan are checking on Paul, and leave just as Drew and Daniel arrive. What a random appearance by Susan in this episode! Still, I'm pleased to see her! No time, no recap, Suse!
Paul is lying on the couch, and Drew tells him that they won, and what happened. Daniel praises him and his ability and says he did really well for his first game. Madge asks Paul again if he's okay, and she's concerned that he could have been seriously injured.
Drew and Daniel toast the team and their success. They sit down at a table with Steph and Daniel remembers that she used to play cricket, and volunteers to go and get some chips from the bar.
Drew asks Steph if she'll come over later and give him a hand with the fairy garden that he's doing for Lolly - he wants it to be really special for her. Daniel brings Barbecue flavour chips over to the table, but Steph is too bust gazing at Drew to notice...
Flick asks if the guy who knocked Paul out will be suspended, and Harold hopes so, but Paul doesn't think he will - he wants to pay him back next time! Madge tells him he doesn't want him turning into a thug!
She then drops a bombshell - Paul's injury could have been far worse, and she doesn't want him on that team anymore - it's too dangerous. Paul retaliates that it's a one-off and unlucky. Most people play and are fine! Madge therefore wants him to wear some protective head gear which Tad, Paul and Flick all smirk at, and Madge is gutted when Harold doesn't back her up.
He agrees that all sport carries a risk, and Madge concedes that she's out-voted.
Steph is complaining about her boss to Daniel at the table, and he can't believe that she's going to tough it out. (I have to say I had no idea Steph was having problems at work...oops...) Drew says he has to leave and can't stay for another drink, and Steph also leaves, leaving Daniel wondering what he said.
Madge tells Tad and Flick that she's depending on them to look out for Paul whilst she's out. She also asks Paul to consider playing with kids his own age for the rest of the year. He promises to consider it.
Tad and Paul start arguing about DJing verses sport, and Flick tells them to shut up - she's going to get a movie. Tad goes with her.
Lyn is on the phone to someone, and puts it down as Tad and Flick return to get a film. Lyn asks if he's being paid well, and Flick says that he's not being paid. Tad says that he's getting experience and he's really pleased about that and - of course - Doula likes him. Oh, she SO doesn't, Tad! And she shares the same name as a birthing partner, so really...
Lyn asks Tad if Madge has finished the cookbook yet and he says yes - Lyn is surprised because she thought Madge would tell her once she was done with it. She decides to go to the Coffee Shop to see how Madge has incorporated her recipes.
Counting down to the Erinsborough Cook Book War....10, 9, 8...
The Coffee Shop
Harold is telling Madge that he proof-read her cook book last night:
HAROLD: I must say I was a little surprised.
MADGE: Do tell.
HAROLD: Well, I always thought that grammatical errors were confined to the young....well, you see you have trouble with your possessives, see? Oh, and you split the odd infinitive.
MADGE: Harold, this is a cook book not Tolstoy.
HAROLD: Grammar is grammar, Madge.
(I'm with you, big boy. There are NO excuses for misplaced apostrophes and incorrect usage of semi-colons.)
MADGE: Oh Harold, for goodness...(the phone rings)
HAROLD: Wait, wait wait...! There's a double negative there!
Madge answers the phone as Karl and Susan (HURRAH!) come into the Coffee Shop. Oooh - that's made my day, that has.
Susan is delighted that the cook book in finished, and Karl orders "two flat whites." What?
KARL: Where's your culinary masterpiece, dear?
SUSAN: I'm still looking!
Lyn comes into the Coffee Shop and also sees the book - she's as excited as Susan.
...7, 6, 5...
LYN: Have you found your recipe yet?
Karl reminds Harold to watch the drink as he overfills the cup, completely distracted. Madge is still on the phone.
LYN: May I?
Susan hands Lyn the cook book.
...4, 3, 2...
LYN: Madge, Madge, I can't find my recipe in the index!
SUSAN: Yeah, mine's missing, too.
TACTFULKARL: Maybe it's a first draft...?
Madge agrees that it's just a test copy, isn't that right Harold? Harold says he wouldn't know - this is her project. She gives him the DeathStare™ as he walks away.
Susan and Karl look mightily amused, but Lyn doesn't look too thrilled.
Michelle and Bianca are sitting at the table in front of thousands of chocolate bars.
MICHELLE: I wonder how hot hell's going to be?
I don't know Michelle, but hopefully hot enough to drown out your whinging.
Chelle feels awful for spending $200 on chocolate, but Bianca says it's not stealing, it's just creative accounting, and she has weeks to make up the money. Chelle asks for help from Bianca to make the money up, but she can't come up with any ideas, but look at the positives - they're definitely going to win a ticket to meet Boy Four!
The Coffee Shop
MADGE: Alright, alright, I admit it - it's not a test copy.
LYN: Ah! Now we're getting somewhere!
SUSAN: Well, I don't know if cooking will ever be the same for me, Madge, I don't know if my confidence can take a blow like this!
KARL: I've got some recipes if you want, if you're not happy with this lot. (He gestures at Lyn and Susan.)
Lyn asks what was wrong with her muffin recipe - Madge says they were lovely and there was nothing wrong with it. Lyn persists, and Madge says that there was too much flour in her recipe, so she put her own one in.
MADGE: Alright, alright... I just thought your recipe had too much flour.
Lyn is gobsmacked, and Karl and Susan recoil in embarrassment.
SUSAN: Ooooh (she sits back in her seat)
KARL: I'll just go and get the bill...
LYN: Oh, er, you tried to actually bake them?
LYN: And you followed the instructions to the t?
...3, 2, 1...
LYN: Oh, that's funny. Never had any complaints from Joe or the girls or friends, or years of satisfied school fete-goers. Still, perhaps they don't understand the finer points of cookery like you do, Madge.
SUSAN: We're off! Enjoy the rest of your day.
LYN: I'm off, too. And good *luck*, Madge. I *clearly* need to buy a copy. Bye Harold.
MADGE: A little support would have been nice.
Harold thinks that Madge is being too competitive.
Great scene! I love Neighbour wars!
Bianca goes to put the chocolate wrappers in the bin, and then they decide to hide them in Chelle's bag. Michelle still blames Bianca, and says that out of 200 chocolate bars they haven't won a thing. Only two hundred? You'd get 400 for £200 here. Clearly our exchange rate is excellent in the UK.
Flick returns home and can see that there's something going on, and she wants to know what's up with them both. She sees a chocolate wrapper, and grabs Chelle as she leaves, seeing all the wrappers. She puts two and two together and realises what's happened. She's furious.
Michelle asks her not to dob on her, but Flick reminds her that Chelle told their parents about her boyfriend a while ago, and that she has no reason not to tell Lyn and Joe.
Lyn comes back at that point.
FLICK: Hi mum.
CHELLE: Hi mum.
BIANCA: Hi Mrs Scully.
LYN: You like my muffins, don't you?
They all agree that her muffins are lovely, not too flour-heavy.
LYN: (muttering) Flour-heavy indeed, I'll give her flour-heavy.
Paul and Tad are randomly chatting when:
PAUL: Hey - what do you reckon Flick wears to bed?
TAD: Man, I have never seen someone get so psyched about someone making him one drink or two!
Madge and Harold return home and Madge is still complaining about Lyn's attitude to the cook book. Harold thinks that she might need to talk to Lyn, but Madge says it's all over - Lyn's fine with it all.
Lyn comes to the door - she invites Harold and Madge to dinner on Tuesday. Madge starts to make an excuse but Harold accepts.
LYN: Oh great, great! Hopefully I'll be able to ease off on the flour for the night. Okay, see you.
HAROLD: Well, you're right, it's all over. (tuts) Just a cook book indeed.
Drew has almost completed the fairy garden with the fairy lights. He thanks Steph for her help, but she dismisses it and says she has to go. Just as she leaves she remembers she owes Drew $10 and goes to give him the money, but as she pulls the cash out a coin lands in the little pond Drew's made. He tells her to make a wish. She does.
Wonder what that could have been, then?
Perhaps we'd better cut to: