Sally at Uni FM telling Sarah that Karl ‘phoned and wants her to go to the surgery as soon as she can.
Sarah asking Nancy the receptionist if the computer crashed.
Susan turning up at the surgery to find Karl alone with Sarah.
Reception area at the surgery
Sarah quickly walks out, leaving Susan to say to Karl coldly:
SUSAN: I hope Sarah's not *sick*? She certainly looked a bit off colour...
The two of them head into the consulting room as Karl retorts:
KARL: No... It wasn't a professional visit.
SUSAN (sarcastically): Oh, a social call – that's nice.
KARL (firmly): I needed some help; I had a computer problem.
SUSAN (raising her eyebrows): I had no idea that Sarah was a computer expert...
KARL (retorts): She *isn't* – but she's an expert with files – like *Marlene's* files – like ‘M' for ‘Moved House'.
SUSAN (shrugs): Much too complicated for *me*. Come on - lots of shopping to do!
As Karl puts his jacket on, Susan reminds him that he wanted to see Lou about the car. She adds that they'll talk about Sarah at home. Karl sighs heavily.
Bill sits down with Anne at the counter and asks how school was. Anne just sighs that she cannot understand Amy. She explains about how Susan suggested she help Amy with the speech because it wasn't really that good.
BILL (muses): Amy would *love* that...
ANNE: Yeah, well, she didn't pass the message on, did she? I mean, Amy thinks her speech is just fantastic. So then your mum comes up to me to talk about it... Oh, it's just such a big mess. I mean, I really don't know how Lance puts up with her, sometimes!
Anne then changes the subject and asks Bill if he had any luck with a job.
BILL: No. I'm never going to find another job as good as Jack's, but I'm bored with hanging around all day doing absolutely nothing.
Anne suggests (again) that he come back to school. Bill, however, sighs:
BILL: What kind of a loser am I going to look if I do *that*?
ANNE: And who is going to care?
Anne reminds him that his original reason for repeating was to pick up better marks and therefore have more options. Bill sighs that it's not easy going back. Anne points out that Pinhead's repeating too.
BILL: Pinhead will keep repeating until the School Board chucks him out! He doesn't want to *do* anything else!
ANNE (insists): No, no, he just doesn't know *what* he wants to do. It's the same as you. You could even start tomorrow; the only person you have to notify is your own mother!
BILL (smiles): Listen, don't nag, OK? I haven't made up my mind yet.
Karl and Susan walk into the bar, where Lou asks cheerfully what he can get them.
KARL (coolly): You can fix my car.
LOU (looking blank): Come again?
KARL: It wouldn't start this morning, Lou – again. Susan had to give me a lift to work.
LOU: Ah. Well you see, the mornings are still cold—
KARL (tersely): You serviced that car two weeks ago. You serviced it one week before I took it over to the country: it broke down. You serviced it when it got back: it broke down *again*.
LOU: That's the problem with these old cars: I mean, they're really pretty to look at, but so unreliable.
SUSAN (smiling and saying quickly): *Thank you*, Lou, I've been telling him that for *months*!
Karl snaps that his car is a classic automobile; a masterpiece of engineering.
LOU: Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do: you bring it round to the garage, I'll get Drew to look at it first thing in the morning.
KARL (sarcastically): Why didn't *I* think of that? ‘Take it round to the garage'! [Snaps] The only trouble is, it's a bit heavy to *carry*.
Lou sighs that, because Karl's a mate, he'll get Drew to look at it where it stands, first thing in the morning. Karl mutters that it's the least he can do.
Harold and Drew are working on Harold's allotment and Harold is telling Drew that he's hoping to grow some giant pumpkins this year and enter one in the Erinsborough Fair. Drew smiles at him that he enjoys his gardening, doesn't he?
HAROLD: It helps me unwind, you know – and dear me, I do need unwinding at the moment.
DREW: This war with Lou, you mean?
HAROLD: Yes. I wish I could get Madge down here: if she doesn't let some steam off soon, she's going to explode!
Drew then asks if he can make a suggestion. Harold tells him to go ahead. Drew says:
DREW: Take a different tack with Lou. He's only stirring you just to get a bite. Why don't you try ignoring him?
HAROLD (looking surprised): *Ignoring Lou Carpenter*?!
DREW: Well he can't fight someone who keeps smiling politely at him; I mean: where's the fun in *that*?
Harold muses that that sounds fine in theory, but he's not sure Madge would go for it: she's got the full artillery out! He adds that it's a very good idea, though: he might put it forward... see what comes of it.
It's evening-time. Libby and Mike sit down at a table and Libby asks if everything's OK with Sasha. Mike replies that he thinks so. Libby says she's sorry things didn't turn out to be perfect. Mike, however, insists that it was too early for her - *and* for Libby. He then takes Libby's hand and asks:
MIKE: Is this the end? Are you so appalled by me and my daughter that you never want to see either of us again?!
LIBBY (smiles): You're not going to get rid of me *that* easily!
With that, the two of them kiss. Lou brings over two glasses of red wine and Libby introduces him to Mike. The two men shake hands and Lou then heads back behind the bar. Libby says to Mike:
LIBBY: You know... I think I handled it all wrong. I thought I could just rock up and Sasha and I would become best mates and everything would be rosy. Drew warned me it wouldn't be that easy; I should have listened to him.
MIKE: Oh, your mate, Drew: he *knows* about kids, doesn't he?
LIBBY: He seems to. He knows a bit about a *lot* of things, really.
MIKE: Should I be jealous?!
LIBBY: No, no, he's just a mate!
MIKE (smiles): I couldn't imagine anyone *not* falling in love with you at first sight...
LIBBY (teases): Like *you*, you mean?!
MIKE: Yeah, like me!
LIBBY: How many of your tutes did I have to sit through before you noticed me?!
MIKE: Oh I noticed you all right; I was just maintaining the correct professional distance. But then you dropped that 12-page essay at my feet and got down on your hands and knees to pick up all the pages, and then I thought, “That is a nice—“
LIBBY (quickly): *What*?
MIKE: “Skirt!” And that was that!
Bill is holding a folder of papers. He sits down with Anne and sighs that her Biology notes are always so neat! He then comments that he's missed *so much*; he doesn't understand a word of it. Anne insists that he'll catch up. She then tells him:
ANNE: Listen, I know this wasn't part of the game-plan – you know: coming back to school...
BILL (sighs): But it's my best option - I know. I know *all* the arguments, I know how sensible they are; I just don't *feel* like going back, that's all.
Anne points out that he'll see all his mates again – and *she'll* see more of him; she's missed him. Bill gives her a kiss and says:
BILL: I missed you too.
BILL: Of course lots.
ANNE: So are we going to do some catch-up on Biology?
Giving her another kiss, Bill grins:
BILL: But we *are*...!!
Susan and Karl arrive home to find they have the house to themselves. Karl immediately says:
KARL: Now listen: about Sarah.
SUSAN: Oh yes, I forgot all about that. Tell me again: why was she there?
As he starts packing the shopping away, Karl explains:
KARL: She was helping Nancy: she'd lost a paper file. Now, it wasn't in the Current File section, so we had to go to the computer... then the computer crashed; so I rang Harold and he didn't know where to start; so then I called Toadie at the radio station – he was the one I was actually after. And then Sarah was at the radio station as well: she came down, and it's probably just as well she did, too: she's the only one who understands the weird and wonderful filing system of Marlene's.
SUSAN: And she found the file?
KARL: Yes, yeah, without any problems.
SUSAN: And that's all there was to it?
Susan nods at this. She then demands:
SUSAN: Then how come you were looking so guilty?
KARL: Well, Susan, you know, I was worried it might look bad?
SUSAN (retorts): It *did* look bad – but only because you looked so *guilty*. I certainly wouldn't hang you on *that* evidence.
KARL (looking relieved): Thank you. I think.
Susan then says:
SUSAN: Now just let me make sure that I've got this story right: you couldn't find a file, and Nancy couldn't find the file, and then the computer crashed, so you rang Sarah and Sarah came down and Sarah found the file and Sarah left.
KARL: Yeah, that's right.
SUSAN: Fine. What would you like for dinner: lamb or pasta?
Karl opts for lamb. As Susan turns away to start preparing it, she says suddenly:
SUSAN: Why was Sarah so upset?
SUSAN: She was obviously upset about *something*.
KARL: I don't know. It was awkward, you know? It was probably *my* fault: I was just a little bit tense knowing that you were about to arrive.
SUSAN: Oh, it's all right, it's all right. I was just curious.
With that, Susan turns away, a sly grin on her face!
Harold sits down with Madge at the kitchen table and suggests:
HAROLD: Perhaps we shouldn't look upon it as a battle?
MADGE: What *else* would you call it?
Harold tells her that Drew feels quite sure that Lou is pursuing the matter so vigorously because he enjoys watching them rising to the bait; but if they *deny* him that pleasure, he might just lose interest.
MADGE (exclaims in horror): What? You mean let him *win*?
HAROLD: Well... Just don't let him needle us; or turn the other cheek.
MADGE: You mean tactical withdrawal.
HAROLD: Something like that, yeah.
Madge sits there, looking thoughtful.
The next morning, Drew is looking at the engine of Karl's Thunderbird. He turns to Karl and tells him that everything's wearing out, and it's hard to get parts. Karl sighs that he knows. He adds that he needs the car for house-calls. Drew assures him that he understands. Karl looks across to No. 24 suddenly and asks what's going on. Drew remarks that it looks like the latest development with the border dispute. Lou is standing in the driveway setting out a line of gnomes to mark the one metre of land that he claims belongs to him. Karl chuckles:
KARL: An outbreak of gnomes... *that* brings back memories!
Across at No. 24, Harold and Madge emerge from the house and head down the driveway. Madge smiles:
MADGE: Morning, Lou!
HAROLD: Lovely day, eh?!
LOU (slightly suspiciously): Yes... And do you have a problem?
MADGE: Problem? Nah!
HAROLD: Just admiring your handiwork!
Madge bends down to one of the gnomes and says as if she was talking to a baby:
MADGE: Oo, you are the cutest little thing, aren't you?!
Harold then tells Lou that they mustn't hold him up. Madge adds in a ‘Hi-Ho Hi-Ho' rhythm:
MADGE: Off to work we go!
Libby is sitting at the table having breakfast when Bill emerges from his bedroom. She teases:
LIBBY: Another day on the couch, in front of the telly. It's hard for some...
She then asks him how long he's going to keep it up. She adds that if *she* were him, she'd go back to school.
BILL: Yeah, well, you know, you're *not* me.
LIBBY: Thank heavens for small mercies!
Changing the subject, Bill sits down at the table and says:
BILL: Listen, it's mum and dad's 25th anniversary coming up.
LIBBY: Is it? God, they're old!
BILL: I've been thinking we should chuck them a party or something; make it a really big deal?
Libby, however, tells him:
LIBBY: I don't know if they're *ready* for a really big deal; in fact, I don't think *I* am, either.
BILL (sighs): Lib, will you get over it? They're back together; there's nothing you can do about it. If you ask *me*, six weeks apart out of 25 years isn't such a bad record.
LIBBY: Well, you think of something and I'll see how I feel.
The front door suddenly opens and Karl comes in. He asks Bill and Libby if either of them have seen the Bishops' front yard yet.
LIBBY: You mean the Gaza Strip?!
KARL (laughs): An entire gnome village has mysteriously appeared overnight!
BILL: What? I've got to see *that*!
With that, Bill heads outside in his nightclothes! Susan emerges from the bedroom as Libby announces that she's off too. Karl asks her quickly if she can spare him half an hour today, as his office computer has thrown a tantrum and she knows more about these things than he does.
LIBBY: I'm hardly an expert. [Pauses] But I'll pop in and see what I can do. I'll call in after my first tute, OK?
Libby heads out and Bill comes back in. He laughs that he's surprised Madge hasn't completely lost the plot with Lou's gnome garden and smashed them all up! Karl and Susan go to head out. Bill asks Susan if she has time for a quick word. Karl and Susan both look at him as he says:
BILL: I've decided to go back to school. Maybe. Yeah.
SUSAN (looking surprised): Oh, well, it's... it's up to you.
BILL: Yeah, I know. It's just a hard decision.
KARL: It's hard to go back when you've got a taste of working life.
BILL: I've had a taste of the unemployment life, too, and it's not so hot.
Susan suggests he have a think about it; there's no rush. Karl adds:
KARL: If you *do* decide to go back, give the Principal a ring; see if she can fit you in!
Anne is walking along the corridor – and Bill catches up with her, wearing his uniform. Anne exclaims in surprise:
ANNE: You're back!
BILL (looking downcast): Yeah – unfortunately!
ANNE: I didn't think you *would*. When did you decide?
BILL: About half an hour ago! I haven't even told mum yet!
The two of them suddenly hear a taunting voice, and Pinhead walks over, saying:
PINHEAD: Whoa, look who's back. If it isn't Bill Kennedy, master craftsman.
BILL (mutters): Yeah, couldn't live without *you*, Pinhead.
PINHEAD: Hey, I'm still waiting for my invitation to the housewarming for your new place!
BILL: You'll be waiting a long time.
PINHEAD: What about the job? The big career move?!
ANNE (snaps): Give it a rest, Pinhead.
PINHEAD (sighs): Get a sense of humour.
Pinhead walks off, leaving Bill to sigh that that's the worst bit about coming back: being the laughing stock. Anne insists:
ANNE: You're *not* the laughing stock.
BILL: Yeah? Tell me that again at the *end* of the day.
He looks across to where Pinhead is standing grinning at him.
Principal's office at Erinsborough High
Bill walks in and says to Susan:
BILL: So, what do you think?
Taking in his uniform, Susan smiles:
SUSAN: Oo, look at you!
She then asks him if he's settling in all right. Bill sighs that he's got so much work to catch up on; there's a Biology test at the end of the week on stuff that he's never even heard of; and everyone's staring at him as though he's some kind of freak. Susan insists that it can only get better. Bill, however, retorts:
BILL: Mum, I don't want to *be* here. If I had anywhere else to go, I'd be gone in a flash.
Susan asks him to just hang in ‘til the end of the work; he's done the right thing.
BILL (bitterly): Well I wish it didn't feel so *wrong*...
Erinsborough High common room
Bill joins Anne, who asks him if his mother was surprised. Bill replies that she went all gooey! He then sighs:
BILL: I don't know, Anne: I think I've made the wrong decision.
ANNE: Why? You've *thought* about it.
BILL: I've *sort* of thought about it. It seems like I spend half my life trying to please everyone *else*.
Anne insists that it'll get better. Pinhead walks over to them suddenly and chucks a basketball at Bill. He taunts:
BILL: Hey – Kennedy. One-on-one? Or are you too *sophisticated* for ball games now?
There's a gnome on the counter! As Karl takes his change from Harold and Madge, he comments that the gnome no doubt has something to do with the settlement on their border? Madge explains that it's a peace offering for Lou. Harold says he just hopes it succeeds. Karl tells him pointedly:
KARL: So do the *rest* of us, Harold...
Karl goes and sits down at a table with Susan. She says:
SUSAN: So Libby couldn't help?
KARL: She tried everything she knew, but I had to get the computer people in.
SUSAN: Did you get a chance to talk to her?
KARL: Sort of. [Pause] Not really, no. We made some headway; it's hard to tell.
Changing the subject, Karl then says:
KARL: What would you like to do for our silver-wedding anniversary?
SUSAN: Oh, just something low-key. I don't want to make a fuss.
KARL: Just a quiet dinner out somewhere?
SUSAN: Yeah, that would be nice.
Susan then tells Karl that she spoke to Billy just before lunch: he's going to need some moral support. Karl insists that he's a resilient boy; he'll bounce back.
Erinsborough High common room
Bill and Pinhead are still playing one-on-one. Pinhead pushes Bill to the floor. Bill gets back up and shoves Pinhead against the wall. He then puts the ball through the hoop. Pinhead grabs it and tries to skirt around Bill, but Bill gets it back off him and puts it through the hoop again. He's leading 3-0.
Madge walks in and asks Libby, who's clearing a table, if Lou's around. Libby replies that he isn't at the moment, but he shouldn't be long. Madge explains that she can't stay – but she then hands over a giftwrapped package and explains that it's from Harold. She asks Libby to give it to Lou. With that, she heads back out – just as Mike comes in. Libby beams at him that she wasn't expecting to see him. He explains that his meeting finished early – but he can't stay long because he's babysitting Sasha while Victoria has her hair cut. Libby then says:
LIBBY: I've been *thinking* about Sasha. Would it be possible for me to see her sometime soon – maybe in the next couple of days or something?
MIKE (looking suddenly awkward): Lib, I don't want to offend you...
LIBBY: Go on...
MIKE: Well... apparently Sasha got all upset after I dropped her home last night; more than I realised.
LIBBY (looking upset): Oh no... I'm so sorry...
MIKE: It's not *your* fault – but Victoria has asked me if we wait a while before she meets you again – just to make sure that she feels OK with it.
LIBBY: Sure. Sure. Yeah.
Lou comes in at that moment and asks if there are any messages. Libby points out the present and Lou asks who it's from. When Libby replies that it was left by Madge and Harold, Lou says quickly:
LOU: It's not ticking, is it?!
He then unwraps the present and takes out the gnome that was previously on the Coffee Shop counter. He reads the note attached to it:
LOU: ‘I come in peace.'
He then looks at Libby suspiciously and says:
LOU: What the devil are they up to...?
Erinsborough High common room
Bill and Pinhead are still playing one-on-one as Anne watches. The game is getting more violent, and Bill is taunting Pinhead by bouncing the ball in front of him but preventing him from getting it. Anne cries at him to stop it. Pinhead manages to grab the ball and he puts it through the hoop. Bill catches it as it falls and throws it at Pinhead. He then gives Pinhead a hard shove and he falls to the floor. Pinhead cries out immediately:
PINHEAD: My arm...
Anne bends down over him, asking where it hurts. She then looks at Bill angrily.