- Philip tries to convince Ruth that they should live together, and cites them cutting down on living expenses as being one benefit!
- Madge fears that Paul doesn't like her.
- Paul explains to Harold that he can't like Madge because she reminds him of his mum, and he doesn't think he should like someone else as much as he liked his mum.
- Hannah prints off a photo of Mike, her internet friend from Perth, to show Philip and Ruth.
- Mike appears on the doorstep of Number 26; Hannah is stunned.
- Hannah asks if Mike is staying at a backpackers, but he wants to stay with her.
- Hannah introduces Mike to Philip as 'Mark - a cousin of Toadie's'. Philip thinks that 'Mark' doesn't look like a Rebecchi, but more like a boy called Mike off the internet!
Lance enthusiastically grabs the bacon rind off Amy's plate. She tells him that he shouldn't be eating it as it's bad for him.
LANCE: Yeah, I know - living on the edge, that's me!
She comments that all they've done all holiday is eat, so they're going to turn into porkers! Lance points out that there's nothing else to do. Amy whinges about the state of Erinsborough - no cool bands, no cool shops, no cool nightclubs and nothing ever happens! Lance says that they're not old enough to go to nightclubs anyway. Amy tells him that's not the point!
Two good looking, slightly older guys walk into the Coffee Shop and Amy eagerly embraces them. They make a fuss of each other - apparently the boys have been travelling around Australia. After a while, Lance coughs not so subtly so that Amy will introduce him. The two lads are Jeff, Amy's brother, and Jeff's mate, Johnny.
Lance puts his hand out for Jeff to shake it, but Jeff refuses. He turns quite cold, and thinks it's about time he got the opportunity to suss Lance out. Amy tells him to knock it off, and eventually Jeff makes out that he was messing about. Lance looks a bit perturbed. Johnny says that Lance seems nice enough, but he thought that Amy would wait for him and comments about her being all grown up.
They say that they're sticking around as their car is stuffed, and they're meeting up with some other guys tomorrow for a cricket match. Amy is eager to go along. Jeff invites Lance along, and Johnny tells him that he has to be good. Amy thinks that Lance can handle it and it'll be great fun. Lance smiles, but he's not as keen!
Philip is trying to get the truth out of Hannah and Mike. Mike insists that his parents know where he is, as they paid for his bus ticket. Philip is bemused that Mike would come over from Perth on a bus to visit someone he'd never met before. Hannah says that it's not as if they're strangers - they've been talking to each other every day. Philip tells her he's well aware of that! Philip starts going on about how it's out of order.
HANNAH: Don't hassle him.
PHILIP: Hannah, I think I have every right to be dubious here, especially as you're both quite happy to lie to me as soon as I walk through the front door!
Mike tells him that it's not Hannah's fault - she didn't know that he was coming, and she didn't think that Philip would be impressed.
PHILIP: Well, she got that bit right.
Philip wants the phone number for Mike's parents so he can check that they know exactly what's going on. Philip tells them that he finds it very hard to believe that they've let Mike travel all the way from Perth without arranging any details with him.
MIKE: They're fine about it.
HANNAH: Yeah, Mike's got cool parents! (through gritted teeth) Unlike some.
PHILIP: You are treading a very fine line here, young lady. (he turns to Mike) Number, please.
Mike and Hannah both look at each other.
Ruth tells Madge that Philip asked her to move in with him. Madge guesses that Ruth isn't keen. Ruth says that she doesn't know, but she thinks that Philip thought she'd be hugely flattered and would be at home right now, packing her bags! Madge is surprised that Philip would expect an immediate answer, as it's such a big decision.
Ruth says that it's the next best thing to getting married and with the kids all involved, it's quite a commitment. Madge tells Ruth that she doesn't need to convince her - but Madge's amazed that Philip can't see it the same way. Ruth confides that he was a bit hurt.
MADGE: Oh, men and their pride. Honestly! I'll swear, sometimes it takes a good two weeks for them to see a different view point.
Ruth laughs. She admits that it must've taken Philip a bit of courage to ask her. Madge says that she needs to stick by her guns - if she thinks she needs more time to mull it over, Philip has to respect that.
Philip is on the phone but he hasn't got through to Mike's parents - just an answer phone. He tells them to call him back when they get the message. Mike tells Philip that his parents are really busy, but Philip isn't letting it drop and asks if Mike's parents have mobiles. Mike doesn't answer and Hannah thinks that leaving a message is enough.
MIKE: Errr, no, they don't.
PHILIP: Are you sure about that?
PHILIP: Is there any other number I can reach them on?
MIKE: Not that I know of.
HANNAH: I don't believe this!
PHILIP: I'm having trouble believing it myself, Hannah! I want to speak to Mike's parents as soon as possible. This situation is not acceptable.
He stalks off into the kitchen, slamming the phone down as he goes. Hannah apologises to Mike. Mike tells her it's fine because Philip won't manage to track his parents down - they've gone overseas for several weeks! Hannah wonders what the problem would be even if Philip did speak to them, as Mike told her that they were cool about him coming over. Mike looks uncomfortable!
HANNAH: Mike, what's going on?
PHILIP: (from in the kitchen) Does anyone else want a sandwich?!
MIKE: Let's go somewhere else.
HANNAH: Will you tell me the truth?
PHILIP: (annoyed) HELLO?!
Hannah yells back that they're going to the Coffee Shop. Philip tells her not to be too long as he wants Mike at home when his parents ring back.
Amy is raving about Jeff and Johnny and how much Lance is going to like them. She mentions that she used to watch them play cricket every Saturday afternoon when she was a kid. Lance is surprised that she was so into the game. Amy confides that she wasn't - but Jeff's mates are so unreal. She talks about how she used to have a crush on Johnny when she was 6.
Lance tries to talk his way out of the game, saying that he's heard the weather won't be great and suggests going to watch a film instead. Amy says that they'll still play, even if it rains. Lance is confused that they'd use a wet pitch and Amy says that they go up into the stands and the last time she watched them, they broke a window! Ruth comes in and Amy tells her that she's trying to convince Lance to go along to the cricket tomorrow.
RUTH: To watch or to play?
AMY: To play with my brother and his friends. They're really good. (to Lance) You can play, can't you?
LANCE: Ah, yeah!
AMY: (confused) What?
LANCE: Mum, don't.
RUTH: I didn't say a word! (hesitantly) Is the game with one of those hard balls?
LANCE: (annoyed) Oh, Mum!
AMY: Yeah, course it is. Why?
RUTH: Well, I think there's probably a pretty good reason why Lance doesn't want to play.
LANCE: I want to play! Now can you please go and do some of those mothery things that you do? We're talking here!
AMY: Lance, tell me what happened!
LANCE: Nothing, really, I love cricket!
Behind Lance, Ruth mimes out a cricket ball hitting Lance in the forehead and him going dizzy! Lance realises what's going on.
LANCE: Oh, will you stop that?! (to Amy) Ok, I got hit in the head with a cricket ball once. Big deal! (to Ruth) Can you go now, pleae?
RUTH: Don't speak to me like that! (to Amy) It was a very big deal at the time. (to Lance) I'm not surprised that you're scared-
LANCE: I'M NOT SCARED!
Amy tells Lance that he doesn't have to play - she had no idea. Ruth goes off to the kitchen, much to Lance's relief. Amy tells him that Jeff will understand. Lance insists that she doesn't say anything to Jeff and that he's going to play. He reckons that the cricket ball stuff all happened when he was a kid, and Ruth doesn't know what she's talking about.
Coffee Shop - Kitchen
Madge is looking at some clothes Paul and Harold have got for Paul. Harold witters on about the price of clothes and how he's bought concentrated juice instead of fresh to save money! Madge asks him to bank the takings as she hasn't had chance.
HAROLD: We'll be cutting it a bit fine.
MADGE: (impersonating Harold) You'd better hurry then, hadn't you?
Harold and Paul leave. We see Hannah and Mike sitting at a table. Mike confesses that he's staying with his grandma and cockily says that she doesn't know that he's in Erinsborough. Hannah is aghast! Mike says that she won't care because she didn't want him staying with her anyway. Hannah thinks his parents will go nuts.
MIKE: Like they'd care.
HANNAH: Like they wouldn't!
Mike tells her that they go jetting off overseas all of the time without him. He feels really neglected and says that Hannah's the only person who can be bothered with him. Mike thinks they have to work out a plan so that he can stay. Hannah doesn't look quite so sure!
Harold is cooking with Paul and is explaining about some vegetarian food. Madge comes in and moans about how she had a mad rush just before closing. Harold tells her to go and have a lovely bath and they've prepared a meal for her.
MADGE: Did you get the banking done?
MADGE: I take it that's a no!
Harold says that they missed it by minutes and the takings are on the bench in the kitchen. He tells her that he'll do it tomorrow. Madge says that she forgot to put the garbage out and Harold insists that he can do it, so Madge can go for her bath. When Harold goes out, Madge asks Paul what they're having for tea and they have a bit of a chat.
Madge goes for her bath and Paul picks up the wok to put on the stove. He accidentally brushes the takings bag and knocks it to the ground, where some notes fall out. He stoops to pick them up, and Harold catches him with his hand in the bag and notes in his hand.
HAROLD: Paul? What are you up to?
PAUL: Nothing. I knocked the bag off the bench.
PAUL: I knocked it with the wok. I was about to do the onions, like you said.
Harold takes the bag off him and eyes Paul suspiciously.
Philip and Ruth are having a glass of wine. Philip is fretting about Mike's parents and explains that he's left 3 messages for them already. Ruth points out that Perth is a couple of hours behind. Philip moans about how letting Hannah have an internet friend was supposed to be innocent and this wasn't meant to happen!
RUTH: You must've both been pretty surprised!
PHILIP: To put it mildly(!)
Ruth guesses that now isn't a good time to discuss her moving in. Ruth tells him that she didn't want to offend him because it was lovely of him to ask. Philip is clearly a bit hurt as he can see where this is going.
PHILIP: But no.
RUTH: I haven't been able to make a decision yet. It's a big step. I need to think about it.
RUTH: (putting her hand on his face) Is there a use by date on the offer?
Before he can reply, Hannah and Mike burst in. Philip is annoyed because they've been out so long when he told them only to be a short while. Ruth makes her excuses, they kiss and she leaves.
Philip - who is now not in a very good mood at all - moans about how he's left Mike's parents 3 messages. Mike nonchalantly tells him that they often work late and sometimes they forget to check the machine at all. Philip is aghast! Reluctantly, he decides that Mike will have to stay in Number 26. Mike apologises for causing him hassle and Philip tells him that at the moment, he could really do without it. Mike tells him that he's sure they'll call back eventually. Philip walks into the kitchen.
HANNAH: What are you doing?
HANNAH: I said no more lying! Dad is going to be furious when he finds out!
Mike says that he didn't know what else to do and now they have tonight to think up a plan. He apologises. Hannah says that if they can't come up with a plan for Mike to stay for the holidays, they'll have to tell Philip the truth.
Lance is watching an instructional video about cricket and is practising with his bat in the living room. Ruth comes in and watches, amused. She comments on how the cricket match has got him worried. Lance insists that he's not worried, but he doesn't want to look like he doesn't know what he's doing. Ruth offers to bowl him a few!
LANCE: You're not funny!
He swings the bat and hits the furniture. Ruth tells him off. Lance thinks it's hopeless.
LANCE: Why can't Amy's brother play a different sport? Like... I don't know, something I'm good at!
RUTH: Like something that doesn't involved hand eye co-ordination?
Lance isn't very amused. Ruth thinks that if it's causing so much grief, he should just watch the match. Lance says if he does that, Amy will think he's a wussbag. He points out that Amy thinks her brother and his mates are total legends, and they'll make him play.
RUTH: And you're only a legend if you can play cricket?
LANCE: Tomorrow? Yes. And I want her brother to like me, y'know.
RUTH: And your personality doesn't count for anything?
LANCE: Mum, you don't understand, do you?! Can you let me get on with this?
He puts the video back on. Ruth pulls him back when he goes to look for a ball and Lance tells her that she won't talk him out of it. Ruth says it's not about cricket - it's about Philip's offer.
LANCE: Oh, moving in? Did you say yes?
RUTH: No, I didn't say yes!
LANCE: Well, what's keeping you? Excuse me.
Lance leaves! Ruth runs after him.
RUTH: I just want to be sure that it's ok with you and Anne. I mean, I wouldn't do anything without checking with you first.
LANCE: Mum, we are both cool with it, ok? Whatever makes you happy. It's fine. Really.
RUTH: Yeah? Are you sure?
LANCE: Yes. Although I would much prefer it if you decided to move in with Shane Warne - he might be a *bit* more useful!
He goes off to find a ball. Ruth is amused.
Harold reveals that there was $100 missing from the takings. Eventually, he manages to tell Madge about the incident with Paul the night before. Madge is amazed to think that Paul would steal their money. Harold seems convinced.
Jeff and Johnny are team captains and are picking their teams. They make a fool of Lance about which team he'll be on. Amy tells them not to be mean and Lance goes to collect some pads. They stop him and take the proverbial out of him as he's meant to be fielding. Jeff asks if he's any good at bowling. Lance tells him he's more of a batter.
Jeff sends him off to long off and Lance wonders if he'll see much action out there. Jeff tells him there's no way of knowing. Jeff asks Johnny who's opening and Johnny says he is - and he bets the first ball will be a six, right over Lance's head! The lads all laugh, and Lance joins in, weakly.
Philip is on the phone to Mike's parents again, but has still got their answer phone. He asks them to call him and says that he doesn't want to turn it into a police matter. He puts the phone down and goes into the kitchen.
HANNAH: What was that about the police?
PHILIP: Well, I had to say something. They haven't returned any of my calls so far! Mike, I don't know your parents but I'm finding this a bit rude.
MIKE: Really rude. I'm sure if they got the messages they'd call straight away.
Philip asks if there's any other family members he can call. Mike says that he doesn't know their numbers. Philip says that he can look them up and call information enquiries. Philip's mobile starts to ring, and he's annoyed. Hannah says that they could try and get in touch with Mike's gran. Philip tells her that he'd appreciate it. The mobile call is one of Philip's clients and he tells her he's on his way, and he makes an abrupt departure.
MIKE: What did you say that for? About my gran?!
Hannah thinks that Mike's gran will be worried sick and he should ring her. Mike says that she isn't bothered as he told her he was staying at a mate's house. He says that she doesn't care about him and only worries about how much trouble her swollen ankle is causing her.
HANNAH: Dad is really angry now. What if he does call the police?
MIKE: I know. We're going to have to tell him everything tonight.
HANNAH: The truth? About your parents being overseas?
MIKE: Yep. I'll take all the blame. But, it'll be worth it because we've still got the whole day to hang out together!
Ruth has come to watch the match. Amy yells to Lance that Ruth's arrived. Lance doesn't look too happy, especially when Ruth yells to ask if he's taken any catches!
JOHNNY: (wielding the bat) Don't worry, Lance's Mum, it's about time he saw some action!
LANCE: (to himself) Great.
Jeff bowls and Johnny skies it towards Lance. Jeff yells that the ball is Lance's. Lance runs towards it but cocks up the catch completely. The lads all mutter.
RUTH: Never mind, sweetheart.
AMY: Better luck next time.
RUTH: Nice try!
JOHNNY: (mockingly) Yeah, good try, sweetheart!
The lads all laugh. Jeff yells for Lance to throw the ball back.
JOHNNY: Can you throw that far, sweetheart?
Lance throws it and looks a bit miffed.
We can hear Paul playing his guitar - badly - as Madge and Harold approach the house. Madge warns Harold not to accuse Paul. Harold thinks that what he saw is enough proof. Madge doesn't want to end up back at square one with Paul not talking to them.
They broach the subject of the missing money. Madge tells Paul about it and when Paul says he didn't touch it, Madge believes him and reckons that she must've miscounted. Harold won't let it drop and reminds Paul of when he saw him with his hands in the bag. Paul repeats his story and is upset that he thinks Harold doesn't believe him.
PAUL: I'm not guilty of anything. I'm telling you the truth. I didn't take any money. How could you think that?
He runs off.
MADGE: Nice and diplomatic, Harold.
Lance is in to bat. Johnny is about to bowl.
JOHNNY: Are you ready, love?
JOHNNY: Hey, Amy, do you really want him back in one piece?!
Ruth doesn't look at all impressed. Amy tells him not to and Johnny insists that he's only kidding and Lance knows that he's joking.
JOHNNY: Relax, Lance's Mum!
RUTH: I'm very relaxed, thank you.
LANCE: (muttering) Can it, Mum.
JOHNNY: That's very good to hear. Here we go, sweetheart!
Johnny bowls and the ball bounces awkwardly and smashes Lance in the eye. Johnny tells him that he has to look out for bouncing balls and says it looks fine. Ruth and Amy rush over and Ruth wants Lance to sit out for a while.
JOHNNY: Go on, sweetheart, take a break.
Ruth is insistent that Lance quit because she thinks it looks really nasty. Lance agrees and says that he shouldn't keep hanging around just to be the biggest joke in town. He marches off the pitch.
JOHNNY: (clapping) Let's hear it for Lance - retired hurt after facing one ball!
Johnny continues to jeer as Lance marches off.