Billy peering over Susan's shoulder at a piece of blue paper and reading out "vocational aptitude test." Susan tells him it's for the seniors to figure out what careers they're suited to.
Anne persuades Billy to pose in the "nude" (ie swimming trunks) so she can practice her art.
Peturbed-looking Ruth show's Susan Anne's picture of Billy - Billy's horrified to see that she's drawn him without his bathers.
Billy blusters that he didn't pose for this, well he did but not like *this.* Susan's trying not to laugh and even Ruth looks a bit amused. Susan reassures Billy that it's a good likeness, from the waist up anyway. Billy says the rest is just Anne's imagination. Ruth queries how vivid Anne's imagination can be (what has Anne drawn *whistles*) and Billy says that it is because it was nothing like that. Ruth asks about Harold and Billy says that he just barged in. The poor petal says it was embarrassing because he was still trying to get his pants on (I was sure he had his pants on... aaahhhh he means *trousers*). Billy promises it's not as it seems and he's telling the truth.
RUTH: So the picture's only 90% accurate
RUTH: What do you think?
SUSAN: Well, um, it's actually been quite some time since I've seen Billy au naturel.
The ladies giggle.
BILLY: Aw mum, please, composure.
Susan apologises to Billy and says that she believes Billy. She asks Ruth if she's spoken to Anne. Ruth hasn't because Anne left early this morning for the library. The ladies (still giggling agree that Anne's a wicked child. Billy can't believe they' think that it's funny.
Outside Erinsborough High
Anne is sorting some stuff in her locker as Lance calls out to her asking for her opinion on whether he's a fashion guru or what (definitely or what Lance). Anne says it's ok and Lance asks whether she likes it. Their dad gave it to him apparently their dad's girlfriend thinks it makes him look at least nineteen and he could get used to that. Anne tells Lance that what he needs to get used to is the fact that their mum has a new man - Alistair O'Connor - some guy from high school. Lance remarks that Anne doesn't seem that impressed. Anne, grimacing, says she's not - he calls her Annie. Lance asks how he stacks up against Phil. They're polar opposites according to Anne:
ANNE: tons of money, a Porsche, greasy charm, did a big friendly number on me and made me feel really uncomfortable
Lance says that Ruth's usually a good judge of character, but Anne's worried that Ruth's getting too serious too quick - when Lance asks what Anne means she sketches out their itinerary for the previous day - they went out for lunch, went for a movie, came back for dinner and then he stayed the night. Lance is shocked. Anne says that Ruth says that he stayed in Lance's room, but neither of them look convinced.
Toadie rocks up to his locker and asks if they're all ready for "Mrs K's adventure into Human Resources". Lance asks what he means. Toad explains that Susan wants them to take a vocational aptitude test. Lance goes into geeky panic mode as he didn't know there was a test and he hasn't studied (Hint: It's moments like this, Lance, that prove why you'll never be cool...). Toadie reassures him that it's not that kind of test - it's more of a questionnaire. Lance looks reassured. Toadie says he thinks it's a big waste of time. Anne agrees - she knows what she wants to do. Lance says that he has *no* idea what he wants to do.
TOADIE: Well you wouldn't, but myself, well I always knew I was destined for a life of commerce. All that lovely lovely money! I don't need a test to tell me that!
And with that momentous revelation Toadie turns on his heel and heads towards class, leaving Anne and Lance making surprised faces. The buzzer goes and the twins, still gurning their surprised, follow Toadie towards their class.
The Carpenter residence
Lou, Darren and Lolly are sat around the breakfast table. Lou is reading the paper and Darren's giving Lolly her breakfast. Lou exclaims with excitement and tells Darren that he's found just what he's looking for - Darren reads out the ad that Lou points out - an unregistered 1969 Mini Cooper S which is apparently mechanically sound and suitable for hobbiests - $900 ono. Darren asks what Lou wants with a mini. Lou says he'd make a nice little profit if he did it up - he's the brains behind the garage not the brawn. Darren says that Ben already has enough to do. Lou claims that restauration can be a nice little money earner.
DARREN: Why is it whenever I hear you say the words "Money Earner" I have visions of police sirens?
Lou claims there's nothing dodgy about the idea. Darren says that there better not be - or Ben will be out of there quicker than you can say "Tax Free Dollars"! Lou reiterates that it's all perfectly legit. Darren responds that Lou just can't help himself - he's always on the scam. Lou does his scheming smile and says that he prefers to call it business alert - it makes life more interesting. Darren says that Lou should be concentrating on building up the client base for his business. The phone rings and Darren goes off to answer it. Lou tells Lolly to eat her breakfast and asks her what she thinks of an MG. Lolly seems more interested in what Darren's up to and Lou says that the parts are too expensive anyway.
Darren's answering the phone. It's all rather perplexing really. Darren tells mystery caller that yes he is, no, no he's not and he'll come down straight away ok? Anyone would think he was keeping secrets, he looks so shifty as he puts the phone down. Lou's now standing in the kitchen drinking tea/coffee and asks him if he's alright. Darren says that he is, it's just a problem with a client and he's got to go sort it out. Lou doesn't look entirely convinced as he sips his hot beverage, but lets Darren go (I'm really not good at reading Lou's expressions, he always looks a bit shifty and a bit smug. Maybe that's a character thing). Lou turns to Lolly and tells her that her brother is going to work himself into an early grave.
The Classroom, Erinsborough High
Toadie, Anne, Lance and the random students walk in. Toadie say that he thinks they should treat the whole thing as a joke.
TOADIE: Put down answers like - an interest in bodily fluids or an inability to communicate with the living
(Why do I think that the writes are setting this up to be a revelatory moment in the Toad's life - something he's so scornful about turns out to be insightful? Hmm, maybe I'm just imagining things)
Anne suggests that with those answers he'd end up a mortician. Lance tells them that this thing could determine their whole future (again why do I think that Lance isn't going to like what the test tells him?) and they have to take it seriously. Anne asks why. Lance says that they have to decide what they're going to do for the rest of their LIVES (well LOIVES but you get his drift). Anne tells him that some of them already know or have vague ideas at any rate. Lance says that he doesn't. Toadie tells him that statistically he'll change his mind at least three times in his working life, so why sweat, just as Billy enters and tells Anne that he wants a word, now. Gee, I wonder what that could be about... Anne asks him what's up. Billy says that he won't tell here here, but outside. Anne looks a little worried as she leaves the room room to the sound of hoots from Toadie and Lance.
In the corridor, Billy's looking cranky and tells Anne she's in so much trouble and Anne's looking puzzled as she asks what she's done. The Toad tells them to play nicely as he pushes past them. Billy asks if she thinks there's anything wrong with what she's done. Anne says that she doesn't, so Billy asks her if the sketch rings any bells. Anne says like she could forget, but what's the problem. Billy tells her that he trusted her and then Mrs K interrupts them and tells them the bells gone before Billy can explain the rest. Billy tries persuade his mum to let them stay in the corridor, but she insists they have to go to class and chat later. Billy mutters that he hasn't let Anne off the hook as he storms back into class. Susan follows him leaving Anne looking cranky and perplexed looking on. Susan can be heard in the classroom telling everyone to have a seat.
Outside number 22
Lou is inspecting the contents of the mail box, whilst Lolly and her plastic wheelbarrow are watching. Lou tells her she can have all these and hands her a big wodge of bumpf, whiche Lolly procedes to file into her wheelbarrow. Lou goes through the rest - apparently there are a couple for him, one for Nana oh and what's this, look, come here. Lolly, being the obliging little girl that she is, goes over to inspect the offending item. It's a postcard from uncle Brett (though it seems to be in an envelope, oh it's a greetings card). Lou reads it out.
LOU: May memories comfort you...
Sad but strangely eerie music plays as Lou reads the inside of the card.
Outside the Bishop house
A cable TV system's van is packing up as one of the men hands the bill to Madge who says that it's fine. She starts to walk along the street and calls out morning to Lou and Beautiful (aka Lolly). Lou is still reading the aforementioned greetings card. Madge says she hopes it's something other than bills. Lou says yes, he's had a card from Brett, does she know it's almost a year since Cheryls accident? He says it hardly seems possible, does it. Madge looks both concerned and sympathetic and says if they can be of any help... Lou says that they're ok, thanks Love, and smiles (bravely through the pain). He asks what's going on at hers, are they going global. Madge says they are, after a lot of consideration. Lou says that it's unlike Harold to spend money on something frivolous. Madge says that there are ways and means... (I don't think I want to know...) oh, of talking him round. Lou says that cable TV's a good idea, he's thinking of getting it himself. Madge says that they do have very good documentaries. Lou remarks that that would be right up Harold's alley. Madge smiles coyley and says that the both love old movies (what is this a commercial?!) and now they have a bit of financial stability (I feel that this may be a portentious comment...) they deserve a treat. Lou says good for them and then enquires whether it has a sports channel. Madge says that she imagines so, but she hasn't checked. Lou has a big grin on his face as he says there's not time like the present and tells her to lead on. Lou turns and calls to Lolly to come with her (she's developed a fascination with the boards holding the soil off the drive) and they head off.
Darren is walking along with a man. Darren thanks him for calling. The Man says he's sorry he had to, he doesn't know what they're doing. Darren says it's a pretty low act. The man says he'd call it callous and at the worst possible time for them and all. They come to a halt infront of a pinky coloured headstone as Darren looks at the man, puzzled. The man says that he noticed the date on the headstone. Cut to the a close up of the headstone, which has been graffitied, but is still just about legible - Cheryl Stark 1.?.1950 - 28.8.1996 (for those of you that are interested, the rest is decidferable as "In memory of out beloved Cheryl, tragically taken from all who loved and will hold her in their hears for ever. Beloved wife of Mxxxx, Life partner of Lou). The man continues to say it's the first anniversary in a few days eh? Darren pulls a pained face, looks like there's a lump in his throat and runs his fingers through his hair and the camera cuts to an over the shoulder (well round the arm) shot of the gravem, which has been well and truly graffitied with a cown and what looks like HNG.
Susan's sat on a desk and two surly boys are leaning against the wall to one side (too many extras, not enough chairs?). Susan tells the class that as they know, work experience is coming up soon. The camera pans over to the class, where Billy is chewing a pencil, Lance is concentrating hard on Susan and a gang of extras are sitting on desks and standing at the back of the room as Toadie walks back in. Susan adds that It's not compulsory for years 11 and 12, but it is a good opportunity to get out into the real world, where punctuality is important. Toadies says that he's sorry, but he just had to go to the toilet. Susan cuts him off mid flow (!) and asks him to hand the tests around. As he does this, Susan tells them all that the idea of work experience is to help them assess their career options. Apparently knowing what kind of career you want to follow will dictate what course you do, be it a uni degree or a Tafe course or an apprenticeship.
TOADIE: Or straight to the dole queue.
Susan ignores him and continues on with her talk by telling them that if they decide to do work experience, they'll have to initiate it themselves, adding that they'll have to take it seriously JARED. Toadie, still giving out tests to the multitude of extras stood around the walls of the room nods. Susan says that she's designed these questions to help them to find their areas of special interest. Mr Rust the careers advisor will go through them along, with the subject marks, and make suggestions about possible placements. Lance asks if he tells them where to go, or if they decide themselves. Susan answers that he'll make suggestions, supply letters of introduction, assessment sheets and that sort of thing. Anne asks what happens if you can't find a placement. Susan says that the school can make arrangements on their behalf if you want and asks if there are any other questions. Toadie asks when they have to give them back. Susan says now, before lunch. Toadie says that he's starving. Susan tells him that he'll survive. Toadie asks if he can be excused as he already knows what he'll be doing and doesn't need a form to tell him. Susan asks him to humour her. Toadie looks mutinous, but stays put. Susan says that there's just one more thing - before they begin, Susan urges them no, begs them to be truthful and realistic because ultimately it's their futures that they're deciding. Heads go down, extras find files to lean on, and Lance turns to Toadie and tells him he'd better do it or he won't eat. Toadie says that he will, but with a really contemptuous look on his face.
Darren is scrubbing the gravestone while The Man looks on. Darren says that it isn't going to come off without a fight. Man says he reckons it will take solvent or some stripper or something. Darren says that he has some stuff at home. He'll go home and get it and come back. He heads of through the graveyard (via a nice arty shot over some other graves and momuments). He asks the man who'd do something like this. The man says kids who are board and running wild. Darren asks if the police have been told. The Man says that they've been making random patrols, but if they're not on the spot when the kids do it, there's nothing that they can do. Darren says that they're bloody idiots. The man agrees and adds that it's been happening on a regular basis recently too. Darren says if it happens again, to give him a call and says to make sure he talks to him and not Nan or Lou - it'd break nan's heart if she found out and Lou's. He thanks the man and heads off.
The Bishop Residence
Madge is talking Lou through her cable tv package while Lolly sits and watches it! Lou spots the sports channels and sits down next to Lolly to watch.... Gaelic football. Madge is somewhat sceptical as to his interest in it. Lou's dead set on watching it, despite Madge's hints that maybe Lolly doesn't want to. Eventually Madge stands in front of the TV and tells Lou she got the cable TV for Harold. Lou assures her it'll be over by the time Harold gets home and drags her to the sofa to watch with him and Lolly.
Anne and Toadie are having snacks and debating what Susan's going to say when she sees Toadies answers to the questionnaire. As Toadies says that Susan will applaud him for his initiative, Lance and Billy arrive. Billy grabs Anne for a private chat. Anne wants to know what his problem is. Billy tells her that its her "stupid" picture. Anne says that he can't call it stupid until he's seen it finished. Billy replies that he has - and so have their mothers. Anne looks somewhat worried. Billy says tells her they think he posed nude. Anne says that he didn't so whats the problem. Billy says that he didn't pose nude because he didn't *want* to pose nude and asks why Anne painted him nude. Because it's a life drawing apparently. Anne's proud of it and she's started to make a painting of it and any way the "bits" come out of a book. Billy says that the people who see it won't know that it's out of a book. Toadie passes them on the way to the drinks cabinet and asks for a copy - for the centre fold of the year book! Billy gives Anne a bailful look as he says that this is what he's going to have to put up with and then storms off in a grump.
Lou's setting up a picnic as Libby comes in to as him about bar work because she needs more money. Lou says that he may be able to help her out if she comes down the pub tomorrow to look at the rosta. Lou collects his picnic as Darren comes into the lounge. Lou asks Darren to watch Lolly - he's off to watch Gaelic football...
Libby asks Darren if he's like to take Lolly down the park with him. Darren says he can't. Libby asks why if he's not working. Darren explains about the vandals at the cemetery. Libby offers to take care of Lolly - and go with him if he wants.
Billly's stashing some stuff in his locker as Anne tries to apologise for the picture. Billy's not at all willing to accept her apology. Billy says that he made him feel very exposed. Anne assures him that no-ones going to see it except her art teacher who has to mark it. Billy looks slightly reassured until Lance and Toadie come by making jokes about him being Playgirl's Mr September. Billy says he takes it back - she can't bring it in - Toadie will get hold of it if she does. Anne says that she's using it whether he likes it or not. Billy storms off saying that's what *she* thinks...
Barrne Lolly and Libby are busy cleaning the grave up. Libby says it's already looking better and in a little while Marlene won't know anything happened. As Lolly turns to look at the crew, Darren says that he can't imagine how Marlene and Lou would've felt if they'd seen it. Libby says worse than you? Darren says that he can take it. Libby reminds him who he's talking to. Darren says that he just misses her - she never gave up on him and he spent years thinking she wasn't' part of his life and then she died. He says it does get easier, but sometimes he forgets and when he remembers it's worse than before. He apologises for dumping it on Libby. She says she doesn't mind. Darren tells her he doesn't know what he'd've done without her to lean on. Libby says that's what friends are for. Darren says she's too good a listener, but not to stop listening to people.e
The Wilkinson house
Lance is questioning Ruth about her date. Ruth says that he's just an old school friend.
LANCE: Who just happened to sleep the night?
RUTH: I assume you've been talking to Anne.
Lance says that Anne's just worried about how fast things are happening. Ruth snorts. Lance asks again whether he stayed. Ruth says he stayed in Lance's room as it got late and his car broke down. She cuffs him around the shoulders saying she doesn't have to justify herself to him, but it's sweet that he's interested in her welfare! Lance asks whether she'll see him again. Ruth asks whether she'll get the third degree every time, but is saved from making a proper answer by the arrival of Billy, looking for Anne. Lance resumes his mickey taking as Ruth wrestles him into the kitchen. Anne appears and hands over the sketch. She asks what he's going to do with it. Billy says maybe burn it. Anne says she's really proud of it and wishes that she could do a full painting - her art teacher would be impressed and she'd get a better mark but she's embarrassed him enough, he can do what he wants with it. After than masterful guilt trip Billy tells her she can keep it and do her painting as long as she guards it with her life...
Toadie appears to be raiding the spirits supplies as he comments on Billy's picture. Karl tells Toadie that fine art is not to be sniggered at. Billy asks if Karls seen it as well. Karl replies that Susan filled him in on the details - a bit of artistic license apparently. Billy dispears off to the bed rooms with Toadie still taking the mickey somewhat. Susan arrives home to hear Toadie calling Billy touchy. Susan responds that he maybe touchy, but he does give good advice -it's about time that Toadie started showing some maturity. Toadies says not to hold back. Susan says that she's not impressed with his answers to the vocational questionnaire. Toadies says that he doesn't need it - he has a placement finalised at the stock market - all he needs is Susan to sign the form. Susan says she'd be happy to - for a placement in his holidays. As Toadie looks some what flabberghasted Susan continues that as far as work placement goes, the school will be responding in exactly the same way as his questionnaire. Karl's says that this should be good. Susan says that luckily for Toadie as he listed his major career goal as making money out of nothing, an employer who does just that made an enquiry with the school and she's signed him up. Toadie asks anxiously what he'll be doing and protests wildly when Susan tells him that he's going to be an assistant recycler at the county tip! Karl and Susan laugh as Toady continues his protests.
The Carpenter/Stark car, outside the cemetery
As Darren packs the cleaning gear into the boot, Libby straps Lolly in. Darren remarks what a day its been. Libby says that it's done now and they can forget about it. The cemetery man, wearing a very early ninties cycle helmet stops on his way out to ask how they got on. Darren says its all sorted now and the man apologises again as he cycles off. Libby says he did a good job and Darren thanks her for coming - Libby asks what else does she have to do on her afternoons off?! They're just getting into the car when Darren spots some people in the cemetery. Darren runs over to the locked gates saying that he'd've thought the man would have had a good look around before locking up and leaving. He yells at the boys to get out, which only makes them run off into the cemetery as he grabs his brick like mobile to call the police. Libby says the police can't do anything unless they catch them in the act. Darren asks Libby to do him a favour and take Lolly home and tell Lou that Darren has another job. Libby asks what he's going to do. Darren says he's going to stay here so at least he'll be there if they try anything. Libby says not to do anything stupid and Darren responds that they trashed his mother's grave and he;s not going to let them get away with it. He runs back to the gate and the last shot of the episode is Darren staring through the bars of the cemetery.