Paul looking shocked when Gail introduces him to their new business partner.
Office of the Robinson Corporation
The person standing on the other side of the office door is Hilary! Paul stares at her. After several seconds, Hilary walks in and mutters:
HILARY: Close your mouth, Paul – you look like a fish!
Paul smiles weakly and asks Hilary how on earth she came by $100,000. Hilary, however, replies that it's not such a large amount in this day and age. Gail adds that Hilary told her on the way over that she did very well out of the sale of her house in Adelaide.
HILARY: *Extremely* well – plus I've made a few smart investments over the years. You're not the *only* one in this family, Paul, with the Midas touch.
Paul then asks Hilary what sort of return she's looking for on her money. Hilary replies that she thinks 21% would make it worth her while.
PAUL (gasps): Twenty-one per cent?
GAIL (quickly): Sounds fair to *me*.
Hilary goes on that she'll ask her solicitor to draw-up the necessary paperwork, and when they've all signed on the dotted line, she'll bring in a bank cheque. Paul goes to give Hilary a kiss in thanks, but she recoils and says curtly:
HILARY: We may be family, Paul, but let's keep this little arrangement purely on a professional footing, shall we? That helps to avoid any boardroom bickering later on.
PAUL (looking wrong-footed): Board...? You don't expect to have any active part in managerial matters as part of the deal, though, do you?
HILARY: Oh most certainly – I'll have it written into the contract. I want a say in protecting my investment, naturally.
PAUL (mutters): Naturally...
Hilary smiles that she'll see both Paul and Gail later on, with the contract, and she turns and heads out. When she's gone, Gail tells Paul that she thinks she deserves a kiss! A broad grin crosses Paul's face and, throwing his arms around Gail, he beams:
PAUL: You're a genius, Mrs. Robinson!
Toby and Katie are walking down the road to school, Katie commenting that the videotape didn't even have a label on it or *anything*. Toby suggests that Mr. Cohen might like magic shows! Katie, however, just asks him dubiously what his dad might do.
TOBY: Come and find me and give me a belting?
Toby then suggests that maybe they should tell his dad first. Katie, however, exclaims that they could go and see Mr. Cohen and tell him what really happened with the tape: they could say nice things about Joe and Henry and about how hard they work! Toby reminds her that they've got school. Katie says they'll have to go at lunchtime.
Harold is sitting reading the newspaper at the kitchen table, muttering about the cost of living being on the rise again and commenting that he wonders how some people manage to make ends meet. Madge is packing up some pies, and she retorts grimly:
MADGE: Maybe they get up at some ungodly hour to bake pies for a pittance for their local coffee shop...?
Harold, looking annoyed, sighs that they went through this last night: the profit margin on those pies is minimal and they can't afford to pay her any more. Henry comes in through the back door and Harold suggests to Madge that she could ask her son for some more board money. As Henry looks aghast, Madge tells him that Harold's on another economy drive.
HENRY: Oh no... As long as he doesn't restrict the number of sheets of dunny paper we're allowed, like last time!
HAROLD: I'll have you know, Henry, that paper is not an inexhaustible commodity; nor is it cheap. The rate we're cutting down trees...
Harold suddenly breaks off as he notices an advertisement in the newspaper. Looking astonished, he tells Madge and Henry to listen, and he reads it out.
HAROLD: “Mssrs. Braithwaite and Collins are anxiously waiting to hear from anyone with the surname of MacDoon”.
Henry asks Harold why he cares. Harold explains that it was his mother's maiden name. Henry puts on a Scottish accent and laughs about Harold's ancestry! He then asks Harold more seriously if he's going to contact the dudes, but Harold replies that he doesn't think so: it's probably one of those companies that makes a fortune out of selling family histories. Henry points out that someone might have left him some money. Harold, however, retorts:
HAROLD: My Great Uncle Alastair is the last member of the clan that I know of, and the last I heard of *him*, he was alive and well, living in Glasgow – and besides, he has an insatiable appetite for betting on the horses, so there'll be no money coming from *that* side of the family.
With that, he and Madge head off to work. Henry stands there looking thoughtful.
Jane is standing at the bottom of the driveway of No. 32 when Sharon comes along and compliments her on the new dress she's wearing. She adds that it was tough about Jane losing her job and she asks her what she's going to do now. Jane replies:
JANE: Modelling. Just waiting for a taxi to take me to the agency.
She then asks Sharon if she isn't late for school. Sharon, however, mutters that she sometimes wonders if school is all *worth* it. Jane insists:
JANE: It *is*, Sharon – I mean, you want to get a good education, don't you? Go to uni?
SHARON (sighs): If that's what I have to do to get an interesting job, I guess I'll *have* to do it, won't I? *Modelling* sounds like heaps of fun.
JANE: It is... although it can be hard work, and pretty frustrating at times, all the fuss they go to to get the shots right; but it pays well, and you don't need any letters after your name to get into it.
Sharon exclaims that it sounds great; maybe it's what *she* should do! Jane smiles that she's got a good face for it and she's very photogenic. As Jane's taxi pulls up, Sharon asks her if she can put in a good word for her at the agency she's going to. Jane, however, suggests to her that she wait until she finishes school – she's bound to change her mind a hundred times by then!
An office building
Katie and Toby are standing in front of a desk at which a woman is sitting typing and telling them curtly that Mr. Cohen is too busy to see anyone without an appointment – especially schoolchildren. Katie pleads that it's a matter of life and death, but the woman just retorts that she's sorry. The two kids turn and walk away – but at that moment, a man emerges from an office behind the woman, hands her a letter and asks her to send it off priority paid. The woman (Mrs. Henderson) nods:
MRS. HENDERSON: Yes, Mr. Cohen.
Katie and Toby turn back at the sound of Mr. Cohen's name. Mrs. Henderson mutters that she thought she told the two of them to scram. Katie, however, retorts:
KATIE: Not until we talk to Mr. Cohen.
MR. COHEN: What school do you come from?
TOBY: Erinsborough Primary – why?
MR. COHEN: Your headmaster's a good friend of mine. I happen to know he takes a very dim view of his pupils wagging school.
TOBY: We're not wagging – it's our lunch break. We had to come and see you: it's very important.
Mr. Cohen walks round behind the two kids and suggests that they'd better come and tell him all about it. He adds coolly:
MR. COHEN: This had better be good... *very* good...
Mr. Cohen's office
A short time later, Mr. Cohen is commenting to Katie and Toby that the video must have been quite a family affair – but this hard work was all lost when Toby accidentally taped over it? Toby nods his head.
MR. COHEN: Mr. Mangel can't be a very careful man, leaving an important video lying around like that. I don't employ careless people.
TOBY: Oh, well... it wasn't *his* fault. It was *mine*: *I* was the careless one.
Mr. Cohen asks Toby to write down his father's number for him.
KATIE: Then you'll give him the job?
MR. COHEN: I haven't decided yet – but whatever the outcome, I think he should be told about your little visit today...
Office of the Robinson Corporation
Harold is signing a document as witness to Paul, Gail and Hilary going into business together. He then announces that he really must get back to the Coffee Shop. Hilary thanks him and he heads out. Hilary then goes on that it's high time *she* got back to work as well. As she goes to walk out, she wipes a finger across the top of the computer monitor on the table by the door. She looks at it distastefully and remarks:
HILARY: I don't think very much of your cleaners, Paul, whoever they may be.
PAUL (sarcastically): Make a note of that, Gail: Hilary wants the cleaners sacked.
GAIL (warns): Paul...
HILARY: It's all right, Gail: I can quite understand Paul feels intimidated because I'm now part of the company, but I won't let his bullying tactics wash with *me*.
PAUL (mutters): *Bullying* tactics now, is it?
HILARY: Well, first you sack Jane Harris, then you force your pregnant wife into taking on secretarial works on top of her own duties, all in the interests of cutting costs.
PAUL (tersely): Hilary, I went to see Jane, offered her job back, and she wasn't interested.
HILARY: Then make her an offer she can't refuse. Tell her that you're offering her Gail's position as Manager.
Gail's mouth drops open! Hilary goes on:
HILARY: It's the perfect solution: Gail can't keep working indefinitely, not in her condition. Oh, she can answer the ‘phone and type a few letters if she wants to, but just make sure you speak to Jane as soon as possible.
With that, Hilary picks up the signed contract and says she'll get a copy for all of them. She walks out, leaving Paul to exclaim to Gail in horror:
PAUL: Can you believe that? Thirty seconds after we sign the agreement, she's acting like she *owns* the company!
Gail, however, points out that there's a simple way to deal with her: humour her and offer Jane her job and get her back. Paul doesn't look convinced.
Henry is sitting at the counter, remarking to Harold that Hilary has got her claws into Lassiter's, has she? Harold nods that it's a very good investment – and you can't afford to have money lying around idly in a bank these days. Henry mutters that *his* money never seems to make it as *far* as a bank.
HAROLD: *What* money? You never seem to do anything to *earn* any!
Henry retorts that there's not that much work around at the moment. Harold asks about the job with Cohen's, but Henry replies that he hasn't heard yet.
HAROLD: Well when you do, slip your mother another $10 board money – she's complaining there's not enough housekeeping.
Henry asks Harold indignantly how come *he* never gives her any extra. Harold retorts that he does what he can, but he's not a wealthy man. Henry, however, points out that he could be, after that advert in the paper this morning. Harold retorts that whatever they want to see *him* for, it's not about money. Henry asks how Harold knows this Great Uncle Alastair didn't make a fortune from gambling. Harold admits that that possible... Henry presses that Harold could be a millionaire. Harold muses that maybe he *should* look into it. He then asks Henry to look after the shop, and he dashes out!
Paul is standing on the step of No. 32 as Jane stands inside, holding the front door open and commenting to Paul that she didn't think he'd have the nerve to show his face round there again. She then asks if this visit was his idea or Gail's.
PAUL: Hilary's, actually.
JANE: Hilary? So what's *she* got to do with Lassiter's?
PAUL: A lot more than I'd like, believe me. She invested the money that we needed to pull us out of the doldrums. *Now*, she's making all sorts of wonderful suggestions as to how we should *run* the place.
JANE: And you want me to take over from Gail as Manager to get Hilary off your back?
PAUL: No, no, that's not what I meant at *all*.
JANE: Well it sure *sounded* that way.
PAUL: Look, Jane, Gail and I miss you – seriously. We need you back.
JANE: Yeah, well that's not what you said when Kevin Harvey was around.
PAUL: Well Kevin was a mistake, wasn't he? – a bad one. Jane, I'm trying to make it up to you. I'm offering you a pretty rare opportunity. I mean: a girl of your age managing a successful hotel like Lassiter's...
JANE: I know, but it's not like I'm *short* of offers: I mean, I've got heaps of work lined up from the modelling agency.
PAUL: You'd prefer that, would you?
JANE: At least with modelling I know where I stand...
Henry emerges from the kitchen of the Coffee Shop. Madge, Katie and Toby are all by the counter. Katie comments to Henry nervously that they didn't think he'd be there. Henry asks Toby if his old man has heard anything from J.M. Cohen about when they start work. Katie asks nervously what makes him think they'll get the job, but Henry laughs:
HENRY: You've gotta be joking! After the work we put into that video? It's in the bag!
Sharon comes in and heads over to the counter, where she joins Madge. Sharon is holding a carrier bag, and Madge asks her if she's been buying a dress. Sharon nods that it cost almost her entire clothes budget for the next six months, but it was worth it. She takes a long purple dress out of her bag and Madge exclaims that it's lovely. She then asks Sharon where she's going to *wear* something like that.
SHARON: To my interview at the modelling agency.
MADGE: Really? When's that?
SHARON: Oh, probably not for months and months yet – I may as well finish this year at school first – but when I saw this [the dress] I knew it would be just the thing!
Madge wishes her luck, adding that five or six months can make all the difference. With that, she heads off. Henry joins Sharon and asks her what he can tempt her taste buds with. Sharon asks for an iced coffee. Katie calls across:
KATIE: But *that's* not on your diet.
SHARON (blankly): *What* diet?
KATIE: The one you just told Mrs. Bishop you were going on.
SHARON: Is *that* what she meant about five or six months making all the difference?
Sharon then snaps that doesn't *need* to lose any weight:
SHARON: Jane said I could be a model *now*, if I wanted to; she said I had a good face for it.
KATIE: What about the *rest* of you?!
Sharon looks down indignantly at her body and demands:
SHARON: What about it?
KATIE: You're too fat!
SHARON: I am *not*.
KATIE: You are. Models have to be skinny like Jane. No one wants to look at photos of *fat* people.
Sharon stands there, looking upset.
Sometime later, Sharon is making herself a sandwich in the kitchen at home. Hilary, however, warns her that she won't want any dinner at the rate *she's* stuffing down food. Sharon just snaps:
SHARON: I'll eat anything you put in front of me, right now. I may as well live up to my reputation of being the biggest blimp in Erinsborough.
Hilary asks who's been saying that. Sharon retorts that it's what everyone *thinks*.
HILARY: Well, you *are* rather a *solid* girl, aren't you?
SHARON: So, if I told you I wanted to be a model, you'd just laugh in my face like everyone else?
HILARY: Sharon, it's not just what you eat. You probably take after your aunt, and *she's* certainly solidly built, isn't she?
SHARON (mutters): Thanks.
HILARY: Well, you did ask – and you must know yourself, otherwise you wouldn't wear those dreadful oversized clothes.
Sharon begins to look increasingly upset. Tears well-up in her eyes and she marches out.
Gail is sitting in the lounge room at No. 32, and Jane is pouring coffee for her. Gail remarks that she guesses Jane has put two and two together to work out why she's there. Jane, however, sighs that she can't go back – not after what Paul did. Gail, though, explains that there's something Jane doesn't know, and she tells her about how Kevin tried to talk Paul into doing something illegal to save the company, although fortunately he didn't go through with it. Jane shrugs that she doesn't see what that's got to do with *her*.
GAIL: When you made Paul choose between you and Kevin, he had no choice: Kevin had him over a barrel, otherwise Paul would never have let you go. There is no one else we trust to take my job. Now, if *you* don't do it, Paul will try and manage on his own and he'll be stressed and I won't be much better off with triplets on the way, and there'll be tension and arguments and God knows what else and... Please, Jane. I know it's a lot to ask, but if you won't do it for Paul, will you do it for *me*? Please?
Jane hesitates only briefly before smiling and nodding:
Sharon is in her bedroom. She takes the dress she bought out of its carrier bag, holds it up against herself and looks in the mirror. She then bursts into tears as she stares at herself, apparently convinced that she was deluding herself that she could ever be a model...
Madge is sitting at the kitchen table when Henry arrives home, sighing that Cohen must have seen that video by *now*. A few seconds later, Harold comes in as well, a smile on his face. Madge asks him how he got on. Harold tells her that he saw Mr. Collins, the junior member of the firm of solicitors, but Collins was very excited when he told him about his connection with the MacDoon family.
HAROLD: It seems they'd been advertising for weeks, and I am the only person who's turned up to claim the inheritance!
HENRY: Hah! You see?! Was I right or was I right about this Great Uncle Alastair, eh?!
Harold nods that he *did* die a few months ago. Madge offers her sympathies. Henry, however, asks:
HENRY: How much he leave you?!
MADGE (warns): Henry...
HAROLD (blankly): How much *what*?
HENRY: Yeah! Cash, loot, greenback, dosh! Come on! The fortune your Great Uncle must've made on the gee-gees!
Harold, however, tells Henry that he was quite wrong about that: it was just as he expected and Great Uncle Alastair died a penniless man. Henry asks what he *did* leave Harold, then. Harold turns to Madge and tells her proudly:
HAROLD: Madge, you are now looking at a titled man. As the only remaining descendant, I am now Chief of the Clan. What do you think of *that*, eh?
Madge smiles weakly that that's marvellous...! Henry grins:
HENRY: So what am I supposed to call you now every morning when I see you at the breakfast table? ‘How Now Great Pale-Faced Chief Harold Bishop MacDoon-burger'?!
Harold mutters that that's very droll. Henry points out that it's a pretty weird sort of title.
HAROLD: Then perhaps you'd prefer to call me my *other* title that I've inherited?
HENRY: Oh? And what's that? ‘King Kong'?!
HAROLD: I believe ‘Your Grace' is how one addresses an Earl?
MADGE (gasps): Harold, you don't mean to tell me that you're—
HAROLD: Yes, Madge, Great Uncle Alastair was also an Earl – which means that, by default, so am I. Harold Bishop, Earl of Doon.
Harold sits there proudly!