Jim and Des in the woods, Jim telling Des how to take a shortcut to the main road.
Des at the riverbank. He falls in.
The Des Res:
Daphne is snoozing on the couch while Mike and Scott wash up. Daphne wakes suddenly calling for Des. Confused, she asks where he is. The boys remind her that he went for the run with Jim and he isn't back yet. She explains that she had a bad dream, which she can't remember, but that she was really worried about Des. The boys say that the men wouldn't allow each other to get into any trouble. Mike goes to sit with Daphne and reassures her that they will be ok – the worst that could happen would be a few blisters, he reckons. Daphne still looks shaken, but thanks Mike for the reassurance.
Jim is awake and sipping water. He is in pain, and lies back again.
Charlene, wearing a black top and baggy blue and white checked trousers, is sitting at the kitchen bar disentangling her tangled hair. Henry is at the table. He says he can't work out why she is so steamed up, and reminds her of the time that she took their clothes. Charlene says that was different, as they didn't end up with a truckload of sand in their hair. Henry replies that he'd rather have sand in his hair than be stuck on the beach starkers. Charlene is not appeased and, moving to sit opposite him at the table, says crossly that if Scott thinks this makes them quits, he is in for a big shock.
Madge enters from the laundry room, carrying a basket of clean laundry. Henry is rolling a coin and Madge tells him off, as she has just polished it, and regardless of how little scratched tables might matter in jail, she doesn't want one. Henry asks why she is so crabby.
MADGE: (folding laundry) I don't know. I just feel at loose ends today.
CHARLENE: (with a sideward glance at Henry) Why don't you go round and see Harold? Reckon that'd cheer you up.
HENRY: Yeah! He could probably do with a break from ol Mangel.
MADGE: If he wants to see me, he can stir his stumps and come over here.
HENRY: He's not about to do that in a hurry, is he, not after the way you got stuck into him yesterday.
MADGE: Yes. I suppose I was a bit hard on him.
HENRY: Too right you were. So go and see him, and make up. You'll feel better.
MADGE: Henry. I do not intend to go across the road and apologise to Harold with Mrs Mangel lurking behind the door listening to every word!
Charlene, watching and listening, sighs.
MADGE: (sighs) I think I'll go and have a lie down. (Plonks laundry basket on the laundry room worktop). I'll have a good read. Maybe that will do the trick.
She pats Henry on the shoulder and goes off.
HENRY: A stubborn old thing, isn't she.
CHARLENE: Well Harold's just as bad. It wouldn't hurt him to make the first move. Don't know how they got on when they were younger.
Henry is bent over the table rolling a coin. Charlene grabs his hand to stop him, reminding him of what Madge said about the table. Waving her blue comb at him, she tells him to make himself useful and help her to think of a way to get Scott back. Henry tells her to count him out. He sits at the table.
CHARLENE: Come on, Henry. If you were me, how would you get back at him? And don't tell me you wouldn't, cos I know you better than that.
HENRY: Ok. (Pauses to consider.) What's he got that he values most?
HENRY: Besides you. (Thinks) What about that old bomb he calls a car?
Scott is at the table, which is covered in papers and paintings. He is looking at one of two opened-out map.
HELEN: Scott, if you don't move that map, it's liable to end up as part of my exhibition. Please, I have to get this finished.
SCOTT: Gran, don't you get bored with pottering around the house all weekend?
HELEN: (indignantly) Pottering? It just so happens that I rather enjoy ‘pottering'.
SCOTT: (gets up from the table) Yeah, but you don't really get out much these days, d'ya? I mean, most people your age sort-of like going for drives in the country, and stuff like that.
HELEN: If you're offering to take me for a drive, or anything like that, no thankyou. I know you think I may be entering my twilight years, but there's still a bit of life left in the ‘old girl' yet.
SCOTT: Well, all the more reason you should be out enjoying yourself. Come on, Gran. How about it? (puts his hands on her shoulders) I will not do more than 60 k's, I promise. And they say that it's really nice around here (picks up map) at this time of the year. (points to a spot) See? Just there.
HELEN: Oh! What a coincidence. (she knows it isn't) That's not far from where Des and your father are doing their run.
SCOTT: Ah, yes. So it is… Well, I guess while we are up that way, we could make a bit of a detour, just to see who's winning.
HELEN: No, Scott. You heard what your father said. No spectators.
SCOTT: Well, that doesn't mean us. We're family.
HELEN: It means everyone. Now I want you to promise me that if you do go for a drive you'll stay away.
SCOTT: (steps back and folds his arms in defeat) Ok. It'd be a waste of good petrol anyway. Dad's bound to be winning.
She turns back to her work.
Jim's water bottle is empty and time has passed. He looks up at the steep slope and with grunts of pain, tries to drag himself up it. His head is just above road level as a car goes by. He cries, “Help” but the car drives on as he pulls himself onto the road.
Helen, watched by Daphne, is busy with a mixer. She explains that you have to be careful with it, as it has been known to whiz off and splat chocolate all over the place. Daphne, handing over the heavy mixing bowl, thanks her and says she doesn't know what is wrong with hers, but she will get Des to look at it when he gets back, if he's not too tired. Helen says she hopes he's not too tired to eat his Pavlova, after all the trouble Daphne's gone to, to make it.
There's a crash from the laundry room and they turn, as Scott comes in, to ask if Helen has seen the car polish she was given. She suggests the garage, but he's looked there. He dashes off to continue looking, then dashes back to ask how Daphne is feeling,. She says she's all right and he leaves. Answering Helen's surprised look, Daphne explains that she gave the boys a fright with her ‘nightmare'.
HELEN: Brought about by worrying about the run, I expect.
DAPHNE: I can't help feeling a bit uneasy about it, Helen. The sooner Des and Jim get back, the happier I'll be.
HELEN: Interesting, isn't it. When I was pregnant with Ann, I had some terrifying nightmares. I put it down to indigestion. I had an insatiable craving for gherkins.
DAPHNE: Like me and my pickled onions.
Scott has come back to the kitchen and is searching the cupboard under the sink. He finds the polish, saying Jim must have had it.
The doorbell rings and Scott goes to answer it. A small man in a baseball cap, dressed in denim, chewing gum, asks if he is Scott Robinson. When he says he is, the man hands him a clipboard and tells him where to sign. Scott is puzzled and asks what it's about.
CLIPBOARD MAN: Well the ol bomb'eap outside. ‘s yours, isn't it?
SCOTT: Listen mate, if you're talking about that hot car that's parked out the front, yeah. Yeah, ‘s mine.
CLIPBOARD MAN: (Hands him a very crumpled piece of paper.) Yeah. Here's ya cheque. It's only worth fifty bucks as scrap.
SCOTT: Scra ... Who said I wanted it to be scrapped?
CLIPBOARD MAN: Well, me wife took the call. (he points to the clipboard) 'Urry up. Sign ‘ere. Me partner's hitchin it up to the truck now.
SCOTT: Aww – what???
He dives out of the door and down the drive, yelling to the man to leave his car alone. The scrap man sighs and follows him out.
Charlene and Henry are watching as Scott deals with the tow truck. They are full of the success of their scam, and Henry remarks that Scott won't need three guesses to work out who phoned for the tow truck. They move swiftly away from the window, giggling, and flop down in comfy chairs.
Madge comes in, fitting peal earrings to her ears. She is wearing a black and green skirt and top, with a double-string long-ish pearl necklace, looking quite swish. Charlene comments on her smart appearance and guesses that she is going to see Harold, but she isn't. She says she is going to phone Harold and ask him over for dinner. She explains that this way, they can have a nice quiet conversation without having Mrs Mangel hanging on every word. She goes to the phone.
Henry suggests to Charlene that they should make themselves scarce. Charlene agrees, bit Madge doesn't. She says that she wants them to stay around because Harold appears to like them both, though she doesn't know why. She adds that they can keep him talking while she deals with dinner. Henry says that they can do that – how hard is to whip up a salad? She flips her hand across his head as the phone rings.
Charlene thinks it'll be Harold, ready to grovel for forgiveness. Madge hangs up without saying anything. She says she doesn't know what it was about – it wasn't Harold, but she thinks that it was Scott. He said to tell Charlene, “Very funny.” Henry and Charlene giggle.
Scott walks through to the dining room, looking tense. Daphne and Helen are poring over the paintings spread across the table.
HELEN: Did you sort it all out?
SCOTT: (annoyed) Yes, eventually. And I'm gonna kill Charlene when I see her.
DAPHNE: She organised it, did she? To pay you back for what you did to her at the beach!
HELEN: What did you do to her at the beach?
SCOTT: We just buried her in the sand, that's all.
DAPHNE: And the rest! I wouldn't have seen the joke, I can tell you.
SCOTT: Daphne, she was asking for it.
HELEN: Then it seems to me that right now, she's probably saying the same thing about you.
SCOTT: (indignant) Gran, those two tow truck men were about to take my car to the wreckers! It's a good thing that I was around to stop them! If that is Charlene's idea of a joke, then she has a pretty warped sense of humour, hasn't she.
HELEN: Well, don't get so worked up about it.
Scott turns away with a groan, raising one hand in frustration.
HELEN: Your car has just been saved from being crushed to the size of a matchbox.
SCOTT: She is not gonna get away with it, Gran. No way! I mean, how would she like it if I put vegetable oil in her shampoo, or set her up with a non-existent job interview, hey? How would she like that? (pause) Now that's not such a bad idea, y'know…
HELEN: Oh, no you don't, Scott Robinson. (she walks round to him) No more practical jokes! What with the relay race and Des and Jim running their grudge match out in the wilderness, Ramsay Street's had enough derring-do to last it for years!
Daphne grins to herself.
A motorbike comes along the road and pulls up beside Jim's vandalised car. It's a police bike. The rider dismounts and takes a careful look around the car before remounting his bike and driving off slowly, looking around as he does so. Further along the road he finds the semi-conscious Jim. He tells Jim that he's going to be ok now, that he'll call for an ambulance. He asks his name and Jim tells him, murmuring, “Good ol Des. I knew he'd get through.”
The policeman is puzzled and asks who Des is. Jim says Des was running with him and had gone to get help. The policeman explains he doesn't know about him, but Jim is to lie still and he'll organise a search party for Des.
Harold has just arrived and presents Madge with a bunch of mixed flowers. Madge tells him they are lovely and with a smile he admits that they are some of Mrs Mangel's prize blooms and hopes that she didn't see him pinch them. Madge suggests that he will never hear the end of it if she finds out he took them for her, but Harold says there is no need to be uncharitable. He says she's not such a bad old stick.
Enter Charlene and Henry, who is carrying a bowl of fruit punch and some glasses. Charlene chirpily asks how Harold is. He says how nice it is to see them both. Henry offers the punch, saying that they made it specially, adding that it is non-alcoholic. Charlene admires the flowers and when Madge says she must put them in water, grabs them from her, saying she'll do that, and tells them to sit down and have a chat. She and Henry will look after dinner and they are to relax and enjoy themselves. After almost shoving her mother into a chair, she and Henry head for the kitchen and the other two sit down and begin to speak at the same time. Then it's a case of, “After you!” “No, after you!”
MADGE: Well, I'd like to apologise for being so irritable with you yesterday. (gives an embarrassed laugh) After all, the bike race wasn't a life and death situation. It all seems rather silly, looking back.
HAROLD: I have to agree. And if you don't mind me saying so, Madge, a bad temper doesn't suit you.
MADGE: (bridles, but speaks quietly) While we're on the subject of character analysis, Harold, I'd like to point out that loyalty is one of those things one should be able to take for granted in one's close friends.
HAROLD: (mildly indignant) You have my complete and undivided loyalty!
MADGE: Then would you explain why you took Mrs Mangel's side yesterday?
Charlene and Henry, busy in the kitchen, look anxious. Henry moves quietly towards the arch. The camera stays with these two as Charlene continues to do things to the meal.
HAROLD: (Getting defensive) I wasn't taking anyone's side!
MADGE: It certainly looked like it from where I was standing!
HAROLD: Madge, you didn't listen to me yesterday, and you're not listening to me today.
They continue to wrangle as a slightly desperate Henry ask Charlene to hurry it up.
HENRY: Mum's going to start throwing things at any second.
CHARLENE: Right. Some diversion tactics coming right up.
HENRY: I think we may be in for a stormy night.
Scott is at the fridge and has two jars in his hand which he puts on the worktop before taking out a loaf, which eh tosses to Mike. He tells Mike, who is sitting on the worktop, that he will have to disguise his voice, and Mike wants to know why Scott has to bring him into it.
SCOTT: My car almost ended up in the scrapheap thanks to Charlene!
MIKE: (gets down from the worktop) Look, I realise that it was a dirty trick, but I mean, just think about it. You play another trick on her, she's just gonna think of something worse. The whole thing'll just get out of hand.
Helen is standing in the other room, on the phone.
SCOTT: That is her problem, ok? Now listen, when you phone her, just say that youbehard she was looking for a …
Mike interrupts tom argue as Helen enters.
(They stop arguing and turn to look)
HELEN: (more quietly, as she sits down) Scott, your father's had an accident. That was the police. It seems that he slipped and hurt himself somehow and he was lucky to be found. They've taken him to the hospital.
SCOTT: (looks stunned) Phew. What happened?
HELEN: They don't know. He wasn't in a condition to talk very much.
MIKE: But what about Des? Is he alright?
HELEN: I don't know. Apparently he went off to get help for Jim and no-one's laid eyes on him since.
MIKE: Ah, hell. Has anyone told Daph yet?
HELEN: Well I explained that she is pregnant and asked if they could avoid telling her anything until we have some definite news. I don't want to alarm her unnecessarily.
SCOTT: Don't worry, mate. He probably just got lost somewhere. They'll find him.
MIKE: But what if they don't? If he doesn't turn up tonight, Daph'll be in a real panic, won't she.
HELEN: Well if he's not home by then we'll have t tell her. But in the meantime, I think it's best that we don't mention it. (She stands) Well I think that I'd, er, better go to the hospital. Perhaps by the time I get there. Jim'll be up to telling me what's happened. (Over her shoulder as she walks away) Scott, where's that overnight bag you had when you went to hospital?
SCOTT: Err … um … it's under my bed, I think.
MIKE: (very quietly) Poor ol Des, huh?
SCOTT: Yeah. I think Gran's right, though. We don't say a word to Daphne till we know, ok?
MIKE: Yeah. I don't want to be the one to tell her Des is missing.
The Des Res:
Daphne is in the kitchen, mixing the ingredients for the Pavlova and talking to Mike.
DAPHNE: I wonder if the baby will turn out to be as big a Pavlova freak as Des.
As Des isn't there, she offers Mike the beaters to lick clean. Mike, leaning against he wall, arms folded, looking glum, turns this treat down.
DAPHNE: (taking the cream from the beater on her finger and licking it) Mike, have you been arguing with Scott?
MIKE: (very subdued) Nah.
DAPHNE: Then what's wrong? You've been moping around ever since you got back from the Robinson's. (Mike doesn't reply) You worried about starting Uni?
MIKE: Course not.
The doorbell rings and he goes to answer it.
CHARLENE: (bounces in after him) Hi Mike! Hey! I was wondering if, erm, you'd seen Scott today?
MIKE: (sitting at the kitchen bar) Before or after you decided to have his car towed away?
CHARLENE: He told you? Was he mad?
DAPHNE: (turns from the sink) Hi, Charlene.
CHARLENE: Hi. Hey, did you hear what I did to Scott?
DAPHNE: Several times over.
MIKE: He'll get you back, y' know.
CHARLENE: (still chirpy and confident) He can try,. B ut I wouldn't be dumb enough tofall for anything.
MIKE: (in the dull tone he's used all through this scene) You think it was pretty funny, don't ya.
CHARLENE: Yeah. Don't you?
MIKE: No. Nor does Scott.
CHARLENE: Daph, if you were me, would you allow Scott to get away with what he did to me at the beach?
DAPHNE: What sort of answer do you want? The responsible adult part, or the truth?
CHARLENE: (triumphantly to Mike, who is not looking happy) See!
MIKE: (irritated) I still think what you did was stupid.
CHARLENE: Well you're next, Mike and I tell you what. I'll think of something really intelligent for you. Ok?
MIKE: (tiredly) Look, I wouldn't bother, Charlene. And I'm not in the mood for jokes.
Daphne, having filled the Pavlova shell with whipped cream, is tidying up the mixer's lead and is listening. Charlene tells Mike that he's no fun, and she'd better get home, anyway. She explains that Harold is over for dinner and she ahs left Henry trying to keep the peace. Daphne says to hold on and she'll walk with her. She picks up the mixer, saying she wants to take it back to Helen. Mike jumps up and says he will take it. Daphne says she is fine with it and is amazed when Mike insists, asking what has got into him. She leaves with Charlene, leaving Mike looking unhappy.
Helen is packing a large holdall and Scott protests that Jim won't need the half of it, and he can only wear one pair of pyjamas at a time. Helen replies that they don't know how long Jim will be kept in and she is not going to unpack it. Scott asks if she is ready and she says she just has to lock up. She tugs at the zip, and it doesn't work. Daphne calls from the front door. Scott tries to stop her, but she calls to Daphne to come in.
They try to stand in front of the bag to hide it as Daphne carries the mixer to the kitchen. In response to Helen's question, she says that the Pavlova is a bit crumbly, but she is sure that Des won't notice. She asks if they have heard from Jim.
HELEN: (with a quick glance at Scott) Well, should I?
DAPHNE: well, it's just that I thought Des would've called me when he finished the run. They would've been finished by now, surely? I guess he'll turn up when he's ready. (She moves as if to leave then turns to Scott) Scott, you don't know what's worrying Mike, do you? He was really edgy this afternoon.
SCOTT: No. He seemed all right to me.
HELEN: It must be this competition between Des and Jim. It's making everyone a bit twitchy.
DAPHNE: Mmm. I hope this is the last of it. Thanks again. See ya. Bye. 9She leaves, watched by the pair of deceivers)
SCOTT: See ya, Daph.
HELEN: I hope Mike doesn't give anything away!
SCOTT: Gran, don't you think you should say something to Daph?
HELEN: We'll wait until we've seen your father. He might tell us what's happened. I don't want her upset unless it's absolutely unavoidable.
Henry is sitting next to Harold on the couch and Madge is in an armchair. Charlene offers Harold a tray of goodies. He says that they look delicious, but he'd better not as it might spoil his dinner. Encouraged by Charlene, who says she made them specially for him, he takes one. As he is about to eat, Henry says he's game, and explains that knowing Charlene, they may be sprinkled with sneezing powder. Charlene reassures him, saying that she only does things like that to Scott.
As they sip fruit punch from large glass cups that have no saucers, she asks if he's heard about the great trick she played on Scott and Madge replies that he has and that neither of them are very amused. Charlene says that it was clean, harmless fun and it keeps her off the streets. Harold tells her that Madge is right and these things have a bad habit of backfiring. He begins to relate an incident that happened when he was in the army, adding that National Service was compulsory in those days. Henry says he's glad it isn't now, but Harold says it didn't do him any harm.
HAROLD: I was young, stupid. My best friend was just the same. We did our Nasho together. Anyway, we were on leave in a country town and I bet him that he wouldn't have the courage to walk down the main street in his … (He pauses as Charlene, suddenly interested, leans forward.) … Ermm (looks at Madge and gives an embarrassed laugh) in his underclothing. Anyway, he did it.
HENRY: Huh! Big deal!
MADGE: It was a very big deal in those days, wasn't it, Harold.
HAROLD: Certainly was! The townsfolk were shocked. One old lady even fainted. Anyway, military police came along and arrested him and he was in all sorts of trouble, just because of me.
MADGE: Well you should just learn a lesson from that, Charlene. Practical jokes can backfire badly. (Sits forward and picks up a ladle) Er, more fruit punch, Harold?
He accepts as Charlene and Henry exchange amused looks.
The Des Res:
Helen is at the front door and Mike comes out to her, asking if there is any word and if Jim is all right. Helen explains that Jim has a broken leg and is suffering from a mild case of exposure, but he is more concerned about Des, who had to cut across country to get help. Mike says it looks as though Des is lost, then. She has already spoken tot eh police, who will keep searching as long as it is light.
Daphne calls to ask who is at the door. He calls back that it's just Mrs Daniels and he will be in soon. He tells Helen that Daphne will have to be told as she is already worried. Helen replies that she knows and that she has promised the police that she would see to it. She asks Mike to back her up, as it won't be easy. They go into the house, where Daphne has just put the Pavlova on the table.
DAPHNE: Oh hi, Helen. Would you like some Pavlova? I'm sure there'll be plenty left when Des decides finally to come home.
HELEN: (Standing with her hand slinked behind her back and looking uncomfortable). No thanks, Daphne. Ermm .. There's been, um, there's been an accident. (Daphne looks at her anxiously) Jim had a fall. He's in hospital. It's not too bad. He'll be home in the morning.
DAPHNE: (with huge relief) Oh, that explains it! Poor Jim! I just wish Des had called to tell me.
Helen glances at Mike, then the camera focuses on Daphne's face and soft music plays as she continues:
HELEN: Well, Des isn't with Jim. You see, he went for help. He's still missing
MIKE: He'll be ok. He's probably just got lost or something.
DAPHNE: No. It's worse than that. Something awful's happened to him, I know it has.