Carol Naylor telling Paul that she's very available and very accommodating.
Max almost discovering Danny creeping into No. 24 dressed in a chicken outfit.
Jim and Helen looking shocked as Carol asks where the bathroom is.
Jim and Helen continue to stare at Carol, who asks tersely:
CAROL: What's the matter? Never seen a *girl* before?
At that moment, though, Paul emerges from the bedrooms, grabs Carol's arm and pulls her into the lounge room. He snaps:
PAUL: What's the idea of coming out here?
CAROL: I was trying to find the bathroom. I'll know *better* next time.
PAUL (snaps): Just go and get dressed.
CAROL: *Then* what I am supposed to do? Call a cab?
PAUL (growls): No, I'll drive you.
CAROL: In a hurry to rid of me, now?
Paul just snaps at Carol again to get dressed. She heads to the bathroom and Paul walks into the kitchen, where Jim demands:
JIM: What on earth do you think you're doing?
PAUL: It's all right, dad, I'll handle it. It's none of your business.
HELEN (warns): Paul...
JIM (furiously): How *dare* you bring someone like *that* into our home?
PAUL (retorts): It's just as much my home as anyone *else's*.
JIM: It is also *Lucy's* home, and I will *not* have her exposed to that sort of carry-on.
PAUL: Dad, I'm old enough to make my own decisions and choose my own friends.
JIM (aghast): *Friends*? You call someone like that a *friend*?
PAUL (snaps): She's just a girl, dad. You're so damn quick to label everyone, aren't you? I mean, how does it feel to be so smart all the time?
JIM: Well it doesn't take much nous to figure out what sort of girl *that* is.
PAUL: That's *my* business.
Helen murmurs to Paul quietly that she thinks it might be a good idea if he runs his friend home. At that moment, though, Lucy runs in and asks:
LUCY: Who's that lady in the sheet?
Helen just ignores the question and hands Lucy her packed lunch for school. Lucy persists:
LUCY: Did that lady stay here last night?
HELEN: Off you go, young lady.
LUCY (sighs): No one ever tells me anything!
With that, Lucy heads off to school, leaving Jim to snap at Paul:
JIM: *Now* do you see what I mean?
Paul just stands there and rolls his eyes.
Danny is sitting having breakfast when Shane joins him and asks what exactly he thought he was doing last night, dressed in a chicken suit. Danny shrugs that he needs the money.
SHANE: What for? You've got your job in the bank.
DANNY: To take Marcie to Surfers Paradise.
SHANE (sighs): Not *her* again...
DANNY: If you could just *see* her, Shane...
Danny then pleads with Shane not to tell Max. Shane warns him just not to get caught. Madge joins them suddenly and says sharply:
MADGE: Get caught doing *what*?
SHANE (quickly, looking at his watch): Um, caught, er, short of time, Aunty Madge. I've got to get going; I'm late!
Jim sits down at the kitchen table with Helen, muttering:
JIM: The way that girl strolled in here, casual as you please... That one of my kids could behave that way... What sort of house does Paul think we're running here, anyway?
HELEN (patiently): He's very lonely and very hurt at the moment, Jim. Bringing that girl home is most likely something he did on the spur of the moment; you know it isn't like him. You'll probably find he has an explanation.
JIM: Well there's *no* explanation good enough for *me*. I won't have him treating our home like a halfway house.
At that moment, Paul and Carol come into the kitchen and Paul asks Jim for the car keys. Helen tells him that he can take *her* car. Jim, however, insists that he's not going to inconvenience her as well.
CAROL: Look, if it's going to be a hassle—
PAUL (snaps): *I'll* handle this, thanks, Carol.
CAROL (tersely to Jim and Helen): Look, I'm sorry, OK? I thought Paul had his own place. If I'd realised that he lived at home I never would have come here; it's just not my scene – so I'm going and you can argue all you like when I'm gone. Fair enough?
Jim hands Paul his car keys and warns him that he'll talk to him when Paul gets back home.
Driveway of No. 26
Paul marches down the driveway, Carol snapping at him:
CAROL: You don't have to drag me *out* of the place. Listen, I don't like having to apologise for what I am. Just because I *charge* for my favours doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt.
PAUL (growls): How much do you charge to shut up, then?
Shane is standing in Ramsay Street and is almost knocked over as Paul starts Jim's car and roars off down the road. He glares after the car in astonishment.
A while later, Danny is running down the street when he passes Clive, who asks what the hurry is. Danny explains that he'll miss his bus. Clive says quickly that he wants to talk to Danny; he'll be quick. He then tells Danny that if he does a couple more chicken jobs, he has the potential to go all the way – to gorilla!
CLIVE: Naturally, there'd be more money.
DANNY: How much?
CLIVE: To start with, I'd say ten dollars extra a night.
DANNY: You're on!
CLIVE: First the chicken jobs, though.
DANNY: Fair enough.
CLIVE: Can you handle a job on Friday?
DANNY (looking suddenly disappointed): Aw, no, gee, I'd like to, Clive. I've got to go to a wedding.
Clive tells Danny to give him a ring if he changes his mind. With that, Danny resumes running down the street. Clive calls after him to ask if Madge is home. Danny calls back that she is.
Jim is looking out through the front window, as Helen sits down on the couch with a drawer, sighing that the more socks Scott crams in there, the more there seem to be! Jim turns to her and says tersely:
JIM: Well if the only problem we have with Scott is odd socks, I won't mind. It's more than you can say for *Paul*.
HELEN: Paul's never given us much cause for concern.
JIM: Well he's making up for it *now*. First he throws in his studies at the university and now he's thrown in a perfectly good job at the airline.
HELEN: He's not *unemployed*; he does have a job – and you must admit, being made a junior company executive is terrific progress for someone his age.
JIM: All right, all right, I'll grant you that. But how can he expect to hold down a responsible position if he's going to carry on with girls like that... that—
HELEN: Her name was Carol.
JIM (mutters): You know what I mean.
HELEN: He didn't intend any harm; he just didn't *think*.
JIM: It seems to *me* that he knew *precisely* what he was doing.
HELEN: Jim, you're being too hard on him. He made a mistake, that's all. I think we've *all* done that at some time.
JIM (coldly): Yeah, he made a mistake all right.
HELEN (sighs): You've had some heartache yourself; you remember how it feels.
JIM: I hope I didn't behave the way *Paul* is.
HELEN: Everyone handles it differently. He'll sort it out eventually.
JIM (snaps): And what sort of rubbish are we supposed to put up with in the meantime? He's behaving like a ten-year-old.
HELEN: Oh Jim, just leave him be. Your lecturing won't help; he'll have to work things out for himself. The more you push, the more he'll resist.
With that, Helen walks off to the bedrooms. Jim calls after her:
JIM: Well he'd better hurry up about it, otherwise he can—
He breaks off as Helen shuts a door. He murmurs:
JIM: Otherwise he can pack his bags *now*.
Clive has turned up and Madge offers him a cup of tea. As she does so, she tells Clive that she must apologise for her brother's behaviour this morning; he gets more uncouth as the years go by. She adds that she feels dreadful if Max distressed him in any way. Clive, however, tells her:
CLIVE: *Max* is the one who was distressed. Anyone who thinks they've been attacked by a chicken in their own living room needs his head read! Does insanity run in the family, Madge?!
MADGE (curtly): No member of our family has *ever* had mental health problems.
CLIVE: Just old Max is mad, eh?!
MADGE (tersely): No, he's rude, that's all. He's a very rude man.
CLIVE: You must be a *saint* to put up with a man like Max.
MADGE: Sometimes I think I *am*!
The two of them sit down at the kitchen table with their tea, and Clive then asks Madge what she'd think if he offered her a part-time job.
MADGE (looking surprised): Oh. I don't really see myself as a gorilla.
CLIVE: Neither do I! What I need is a telephone answering service. I'm losing business without one. The trouble is, I'm never at home: I'm out all day chasing clients and then at night I've got to check up on what my people are doing. Are you interested?
MADGE: I don't know...
CLIVE: I want something more personal than an answering machine – and after all, a machine can't make bookings.
MADGE: No, of course not.
CLIVE: You're home all the time, Madge – and it would be nice pocket money, too.
MADGE: Max would *hate* it.
CLIVE (grins): Yeah!
MADGE (declares mischievously): I'll do it!
Paul walks into the house. Jim, who's sitting behind the desk in the lounge room, remarks coolly:
JIM: On your own tonight? You're slipping.
PAUL: Dad, I'm sorry about last night.
JIM: Don't apologise to *me*; it's your grandmother and Lucy you should be apologising to.
Paul murmurs that he intends to. Jim, however, stands up and roars:
JIM: Well that's not enough. How could you even *think* of bringing a girl home here to spend the night? Haven't you got any respect for this family at *all*?
PAUL: You *know* I have, dad. Will you just listen to what I wanted to say? I know what I did last night was wrong, and I'm sorry.
JIM: I don't know what's come over you, Paul.
PAUL: I haven't been thinking too straight, lately.
JIM (snaps): *That's* the understatement of the year.
PAUL: ...and I guess I made a few mistakes...
JIM: How could you *do* something like this to me? How do you think it makes me feel?
PAUL (growls): Look, I said I'm sorry.
JIM: And that's supposed to make everything all right?
PAUL (angrily): You're not interested in how I feel. You just want everything to be right. Dad, you're so straight it *hurts*. You think work is more important than people – even your own family: everyone has to have a job, has to be a success. Relaxation isn't a *crime*, dad. You never go anywhere, you never do anything. Your whole *attitude* is self-righteous.
Jim turns away and sits down on the couch. He says more calmly:
JIM: I didn't know you felt this way.
PAUL (snaps): Well I *do*.
JIM: Obviously our problems run a lot deeper than either of us *thought*.
PAUL (snaps): I know what ‘our' problem is: I'm expected to shut up and listen to you and you'll tell me exactly what to do.
JIM: Anything I've said, Paul, has been to try to help.
PAUL (sounding astonished): *Help*?
JIM: Perhaps we'd better sit down and talk this thing through; see if we can sort something out.
PAUL: No way. Look, it's bad enough having you as a father; I don't want you as a head-shrinker as well.
The two of them are interrupted by Madge coming in through the back door and asking if Helen's home. Jim nods that Helen is expecting her. Paul storms out, slamming the front door behind him. Jim sits on the couch looking astonished and worried.
Paul strides down Ramsay Street, passing Shane and Des. Shane tries to talk to him, but Paul snaps:
PAUL: Just leave me alone, will you?
When Paul has gone, Shane sighs at Des that he and Paul used to be friends, but now he can't even say hello to him without Paul biting his head off.
DES: Oh, he's not down on *you*. I don't know if I should tell you this...
DES: Well, Lucy reckons that he had a ‘friend' stay the night. There was hell to pay in there. He's really blown it.
SHANE: He was like this once before, when his mother died.
DES: Why don't you have a go at talking to him?
SHANE: I will. I think I'll wait until he cools off a bit, first.
Madge is sitting at the kitchen table, telling Helen that she's going to be working for Clive.
HELEN (chuckles): Max won't be too happy about *that*!
MADGE: That's what made it so appealing: I refuse to let Max choose my friends for me – and Clive's such a nice young fellow.
Helen remarks that she must be the only person who hasn't met him yet. Madge tells her that she'll have to introduce them. Helen then comments warily:
HELEN: You're not going to be delivering messages as well, are you, Madge?
MADGE: Good gracious, no! No, I'm going to be more in the order of a personal secretary... answering phones.
Jim wanders in through the back door and Madge tells him that she was *hoping* to catch up with him. Jim asks her what he can do for her.
MADGE: There's a lecture tonight on the history of the district. I know you're interested in Erinsborough and I thought you might like to come.
JIM (glancing at Helen): Oh, well, um, perhaps another time, Madge. I've got some paperwork to do tonight.
MADGE: But it's the only one on Erinsborough. I... oh, I do hate going by myself.
Helen prompts Jim that he *never* seems to get out these days.
JIM (mutters): So I've been told.
With that, he tells Madge that he'll go. Madge smiles that she'd better go and organise dinner for Max and the boys; she'll be back at 7pm to pick him up. She heads out. Left alone with Jim, Helen asks if the paperwork was all that important or just an excuse.
JIM: No. This business with Paul has thrown me a bit, that's all.
HELEN: Oh. I'm sorry I pushed you into tonight, then. Madge is a bit like a bulldog when she gets a grip on you, isn't she?
JIM: So I've noticed!
Paul is walking across the street when Shane spots him and calls:
SHANE: Hey Paul, can we talk?
PAUL (mutters): Later, eh?
SHANE (snaps): How about *now*, mate? Listen, I heard about this morning.
PAUL (darkly): That'd be right. People have got nothing better to do than gossip about *me*.
SHANE: Well *I* don't. Look, mate, you're acting pretty weird.
PAUL (coolly): Why don't you save your concern for yourself, eh?
SHANE (demands): And what's that supposed to mean?
PAUL (cruelly): You're a loser, Shane. You lost Daphne... you've only ever been trained for one thing, and that's diving, and that's the end of it for you: you're not going to win at anything else.
SHANE (retorts): I don't need to win at *anything*, mate. I'm happy with what I do. My family and friends like me for what I am.
Max marches down the driveway of No. 24 as Paul reiterates:
PAUL: You're still a loser, though.
SHANE: *I* don't think so. Look, mate, you're going to have to snap out of this mood. The whole street's talking about you.
PAUL: Oh yeah? Well let ‘em.
Paul then turns round, looks at the street and yells:
PAUL: Go on: TALK!
He looks back at Shane and snarls:
PAUL: You want to gossip about me? I'll give you something you can *really* get your teeth into.
With that, he storms off to No. 26, leaving Shane and Max staring after him.
Lucy is sitting at the kitchen table when Paul marches in and slams the front door behind him. He walks to the sink as he asks Lucy if she's making a collage.
LUCY (murmurs): Yeah.
PAUL: It looks good.
LUCY (distantly): Thank you.
Helen joins them and asks Paul if that was Shane she heard outside with him.
PAUL: Yeah, I just went berserk at him. Oh gran, I don't know what's happening to me...
Helen suggests to Lucy that she get some magazines from her bedroom. Lucy gets up from the table and goes to head to the bedroom – but Helen and Paul don't notice that she actually goes and stands behind the wall dividing the kitchen from the lounge room, and listens to the ensuing conversation.
PAUL: Gran, he was only trying to help; that's what *worries* me. We've been best mates all our lives and all I could do was stand there and shout at him.
Helen suggests they sit down. She adds that it's time they had a talk. Lucy continues to listen as Paul cries:
PAUL: I just can't seem to get on with anyone. I'm worrying *you*... I *really* upset *dad*. But it's not just my family; I seem to be driving *everyone* away.
HELEN: But you'll have to give your friends credit, Paul; they do understand. Most people realise what you're going through.
PAUL: No they don't. My relationships are just falling apart.
HELEN: The good ones will survive.
PAUL: Yeah... If I lost my friendship with Shane, I don't know *what* I'd do.
HELEN: Then you'll just have to make sure that you don't.
PAUL: You know the one thing that really *does* worry me?
PAUL: The way I'm treating Lucy. I didn't mean to drag her into all of that this morning. Now she won't even talk to me. Some brother.
At that, Lucy walks back into the kitchen and says softly:
LUCY: It's all right, Paul, I know you didn't mean it. I still love you.
She gives Paul a hug. Paul glances at Helen, looking relieved.
Max is sitting at the kitchen table as Madge works in the kitchen, ranting that it isn't pleasant to be seen brawling in the street. Max snaps:
MAX: Look, it wasn't Shane, I'm telling you; it was that young Robinson. Last time he's setting foot in *this* house, I can tell you.
Madge then announces that they can sort it out amongst themselves, as she's got to go and get ready to go out.
MAX (demands): What about our tea?
Madge retorts that it's in the oven; Danny knows what to do. Max asks Madge curtly where she's going.
MADGE: It's an outing I organised earlier.
MAX: Oh yeah? Who with?
MADGE: Jim Robinson, if you must know.
MAX (demands): How can you go out with *him* after what his son just done to Shane? Where you going, anyway?
MADGE: To a history lecture.
MAX: Oh yeah? How can you go out with that bloke? You're a married woman.
MADGE: It's only a history lecture.
MAX: Oh yeah?
MADGE (coolly): You always *did* have a dirty mind, Max Ramsay.
MAX: No wonder!
Helen is working in the kitchen when Madge comes in through the back door and asks if Jim's ready. Helen replies that he won't be a moment. She then compliments Madge on the suit she's wearing.
MADGE: Oh, thank you! It's not new, of course; I wouldn't wear anything new to a history lecture. That's all it is, really: just a history lecture. It's just that I wouldn't like anyone to misinterpret anything about tonight.
HELEN: How could they do *that*?
MADGE: Oh, I know *you* wouldn't, Helen – but some people may take it the wrong way.
HELEN: Oh, I don't think so.
MADGE: *Max* did: he seems to think I'm doing the wrong thing.
HELEN (laughs): You don't want to take any notice of *Max*! He's probably just teasing you!
MADGE: Yes, well I don't appreciate it.
Jim joins them and tells Madge that she's looking nice. Paul follows him into the kitchen and asks for a word before Jim and Madge go. Jim, however, retorts that he doesn't have time now. With that, he and Madge head off. Helen looks at Paul and assures him:
HELEN: He won't be long. There's plenty of time.
Shane is sitting at the kitchen table, looking at the newspaper. Max takes a hot dish out of the oven and rushes over to put it on the table. There's no mat there, though, and so Shane quickly puts down a sheet of the paper. Max puts the dish on top and mutters that you'd think Madge could make something better than a casserole for their tea; she's nothing *better* to do all day! Shane, however, points out that Madge isn't that bad: things were pretty disastrous before she arrived.
MAX (looking annoyed): Don't go siding with *her*. Tell the truth: how would *you* like every minute of the day organised?
DANNY: Yeah - *and* having your grammar corrected all the time. Everything was OK and then she came—
The conversation changes: Danny takes the lid off the casserole and comments that Max has to admit that Madge's cooking puts rings around *his*.
SHANE: We might be back to eating *dad's* meals if she starts going out with Jim Robinson!
MAX (mutters): Yeah, typical, Jim sneaking around with a fella's sister. I bet she only does it to brass me off.
SHANE: I thought you'd be glad to see her getting out of the house, dad, if you don't like her around so much.
MAX: That's not the point!
There's suddenly a knock on the front door and Max goes to get it. He opens the door and finds Paul on the step. He immediately snaps:
MAX: What *you* doing here? Come round to have another go at Shane, have ya?
PAUL: I just want to talk to him.
MAX: Well you *can't*.
Shane, however, walks over and tells Max that it's OK. Max returns to the table. Paul and Shane stare at each other and after a few seconds Paul holds out his hand and says gently:
PAUL: I'm sorry, mate.
Shane shakes his hand, looking relieved.