Danny turning on a tape of loud animal noises in the middle of the night.
Helen, Jim and Paul emerging from the bedrooms, asking what the noise is.
The neighbours turning up at No. 24 and Shane spotting Zoe. Danny noticing Clive just coming home and telling the neighbours that all the noise was for nothing.
Zoe runs into the house and tries to hide by the bookcase. Shane follows her in through the front door but doesn't turn on the light. As the two of them begin to tiptoe around, Shane looking for Zoe, Zoe says quickly:
ZOE: Look, I know how you must be feeling, but I can explain: I'm a friend of Daphne Lawrence's.
SHANE (snaps): Bull. Daphne wouldn't associate herself with a common thief. I want my three hundred bucks *now*, else I'm calling the cops.
He spots Zoe and tries to grab her. She says quickly:
ZOE: Fine. Call them. I admit: I *did* steal your money. I deserve to be punished.
SHANE (warily): What's the trick, eh? Come on, come on...
ZOE: No tricks but you won't get your money if I'm in jail... and then of course there's time in court and statements to be made, and if I'm convicted I can hardly pay you back, can I?
SHANE: Well then call a friend or a relative or anything. I want my money back *now*.
ZOE: Seven days. All I need is seven days, and I promise you'll have your money back. You have my word.
SHANE (sourly): And that's worth plenty, isn't it, eh?
ZOE: Like I said: Daphne's a friend and you *will* get your money. I'll be here.
Shane points a warning finger at Zoe and says:
SHANE: Seven days or else, OK?
With that, he heads out, leaving Zoe panting heavily.
The next morning, Helen is serving breakfast, and she sits down with Paul and Jim, commenting as she does so that, after what happened this morning, she's beginning to feel sorry that Max didn't stay in that bedsit. Jim adds that they should strangle Danny, because he was part of it too. Paul asks why they think Shane ran after Zoe like that. Helen, however, replies that it's probably none of their business.
PAUL: Any rate, I don't think he'll be staying much longer.
JIM: Yeah, he likes his independence, that's for sure.
PAUL (tersely): And what's wrong with independence?
JIM: It depends on what you *mean* by the word, Paul. Learning to stand on your own two feet's fine, but if it's just an excuse to do things your family wouldn't approve of, I call that immaturity.
Helen goes to get Lucy for school. Paul says quickly that he won't be home for dinner tonight, as he's got a date. He then stands up and announces that he'd better be off, as he's got an interview for a job.
Madge is wandering around a market, looking at the various wares. A man walks over to her and asks if there's something he can help her with. Madge, however, picks up a piece of fruit and retorts:
MADGE: Not at *these* prices it's daylight robbery.
She walks off, but doesn't notice a young man watching her. He starts to follow her...
Max is sitting at the kitchen table while Danny puts on his tie for work. He asks where Madge is. Max replies that she went shopping. Danny mutters that she could have made his breakfast before she went. Changing the subject, Danny comments that he thinks Max is losing the popularity stakes over Clive. Max retorts that he's just giving him a taste of his own medicine.
DANNY: Dad, why don't you try *talking* to Clive, instead of yelling?
MAX (looking furious, shouts): WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
DANNY: There shouldn't be *any* sides, dad. Why can't you just learn to get on with people?
MAX: He's not people! And when him and me are feuding, I expect you to back me up!
DANNY (mutters): What's the use?
Clive walks down the driveway of No. 22 to collect his mail. Danny is coming along the street and Clive asks how it's going. Danny remarks that Clive is up early or late! Clive tells him that he's sorry he missed the fun earlier; what got Max so riled?
DANNY (shaking his head, slowly): The old man... he's got this thing about noise. Once he gets set against somebody, that's it; nothing will change his mind.
CLIVE: Sounds a bit weird!
DANNY: Not much weirder than *your* job, Clive.
CLIVE (shrugs): Oh, it's unusual, sure, but that's the way to make money. No point in starting a business a thousand other people are doing already.
Danny asks Clive if he makes a lot of money. Clive nods that he does all right and so do the people who work for him. Neither of them notices Max out by his van, watching them and looking furious. Clive asks Danny why he doesn't give it a go, adding that he'd make a great singing chicken! Danny, however, declines, saying he'd feel a jerk dressed up in all that gear. Clive tells Danny to let him know if he changes his mind. Across the street, Max mutters:
MAX: Rotten little turncoat...
Madge is walking along, but becomes aware suddenly of the young man from the market following her. She tries to speed up, but the guy chases after her. A few second later, he runs up to her and tries to grab her bag. Madge refuses to let go, and a struggle ensues until Jim suddenly races up in his car, leaps out and yells at the thief. The guy runs off. Jim goes over to Madge and asks in concern if she's all right.
MADGE (panting): Yes. Thank you, Jim. I couldn't've held on for much longer, though.
Jim offers to drive her home. Madge, however, insists that he must have things to do, and *she* ought to be on her way.
There's a knock on the front door and Zoe comes barging in! She asks Max who's in the kitchen if she can come in! She goes to the kitchen, heads for the fridge and pours herself an orange juice! She then tells Max that she wanted to see what he was wearing to the wedding. Max retorts that that's a week off; he hasn't got time to think about that now. Zoe tells him that if he hasn't got anything suitable to wear, he'll have to *hire* something. Max snaps that he's got a good suit already. Zoe asks if she can have a look at it. Max heads to his room and returns a few seconds later with it.
ZOE: It's a bit *old*.
MAX (curtly): So what? Brushed clean, it'll be as good as new.
ZOE: Maybe a morning suit would be better?
MAX (snaps): No way you're getting me into one of *those*!
Max adds that his own suit or nothing. With that, Zoe shrugs in acceptance and heads out again!
H.M. Prison Pentridge
Madge walks up to the visitors' entrance and rings the bell. A guard emerges a few seconds later and says:
GUARD: Morning, Mrs. Mitchell.
GUARD: No point going in he doesn't want to see you.
MADGE (looking surprised): But there must be some mistake: only yesterday he said he didn't know what he'd do without my visits.
GUARD (shrugs): I'm only passing on what he said: he doesn't want to see you again. I'm sorry, Mrs. Mitchell.
With that, the guard heads back inside, leaving Madge looking upset.
Jim is working at the kitchen table while Helen is pottering around the kitchen, telling Paul that she's very pleased for him. Paul replies that it's the only place to be and he's not going to stay at the bottom for too long. He adds:
PAUL: What opportunities did I have with the airline, eh? I'd still be stuck in that stupid aeroplane cabin if I'd stayed there.
HELEN (warns): Don't knock the airline: if you hadn't made your contacts there, you wouldn't have heard about *this* job.
Helen then comments to Jim that he's not showing much enthusiasm. Jim replies that it's just that in *his* day you chose a career and stuck to it. He then asks Paul if he doesn't think he might get bored with this job as well after a few months. Sitting down at the table with his father, Paul says:
PAUL: No, dad. I mean, how am I supposed to find out what I want if I don't try out different things? OK, you were lucky: you hit on it the first time.
JIM: Yeah, I suppose you're right. Congratulations, mate.
PAUL: Thanks, dad.
JIM: You haven't told us the name of the company yet.
JIM (raising his eyebrows): You don't think you could have found something a little *larger*?!
PAUL: As I said: it's the only place to be if I want to get somewhere. Nope, start small and think big, I reckon.
With that, Paul announces that he's going to hit the sack: he doesn't want to disappoint his date by falling asleep in the soup.
PAUL: I've got a pretty energetic night ahead of me...
When Paul has gone, Jim looks at Helen and muses:
JIM: Now what did he mean by *that*, I wonder...?
Jim knocks on the back door and heads into the kitchen, where Madge is peeling potatoes. He asks how she's feeling and she replies that she's fine. Jim, however, insists on taking over the potatoes from her. Madge then apologises for having to rush off this morning: she had an appointment. Jim explains that he was concerned that she might not be feeling too well once she'd had time to react to what had happened. Madge smiles that she's pretty tough! She then adds:
MADGE: Not exactly feminine, is it?
Jim points out that she's not tough in the hard' sense; she's tough in that she doesn't need to *lean* on anybody. Madge muses that Max probably wouldn't agree that that's an ideal character trait in a woman!
MADGE: We should all be locked in the kitchen, devoted and loyal to our lord and master!
With that, Jim finishes the potatoes. He tells Madge to get an early night and not let the Ramsay men get her down!
Des heads into the Coffee Shop, where Daphne is alone. He tells her that he saw the lights on and just wanted to tell her that he loves her.
DAPHNE (warmly): Oh Des, I love you too...
As they start to kiss, Shane and Danny come in, causing Daphne to look slightly embarrassed. They sit down at the counter and Danny says hesitantly:
DANNY: Shane... have you ever been in love?
DANNY: So you'd do anything to give the girl what she wanted?
SHANE: I suppose so short of rubbing her back!
DANNY: Even if it meant your friends laughing at you or getting into trouble at home?
SHANE: If she's really worth it, Danny, who *cares* what your friends think? What's this all about, anyway?
DANNY (quickly): Nothing!
With that, Danny heads out, leaving Shane looking bemused.
Paul is sitting opposite the nurse (Lee), who's telling him that he's looking great; when he picked her up, she hardly recognised him!
PAUL: Yeah, it's pretty hard to look your best in bed; a *hospital* bed, anyway... Of course, having a pretty nurse on standby makes all the difference!
He then asks Lee if she *always* works in the men's wards. She replies, however, that they go wherever they're rostered. Paul places his hand on top of hers, which she's resting on the table, and asks gently:
PAUL: Is this how you take a pulse?
Lee, however, pulls her hand away quickly and says:
She then asks Paul if he's gone back to flying yet. Paul, however, explains that he chucked flying in and he's got an executive position now. The waiter appears at the table and hands out menus. He asks what they'd like to order. Looking at Lee, Paul says:
PAUL: Caviar... lobster... it's yours.
Lee, however, doesn't look impressed.
Shane, Madge, Max and Danny are sitting at the dinner table, Max laughing that Madge had a fight with some fellow this morning, eh? Madge snaps that he was about to *hit* her; if Jim Robinson hadn't come along, who knows *what* might have happened? Changing the subject, Max mutters at Danny that he saw him talking to that gorilla, Clive, this morning.
MAX (to Shane and Madge): Like long-lost friends they were.
DANNY (insists): He's not such a bad bloke.
Madge stands up and asks if anyone wants dessert. Danny, however, declines, saying he's going out.
MADGE (tersely): Not with that Marcia, I hope?
MAX (snaps): Why *not* with Marcia? He can go out with who he likes. It's none of your business.
DANNY: It's *not* with Marcia, OK?
With that, Danny heads out, leaving Madge to snap at Max that Marcia is not a good influence.
Paul is working his seduction routine on Lee!
PAUL: The moment you walked in the ward, I knew we had something going for us.
LEE (dismissively): Really?
PAUL: Come on, honey, who are you kidding? I mean, you had eyes for me the whole time I was in there.
Lee, however, stands up and mutters:
LEE: I think *you're* the one who's kidding.
PAUL: Where are you going?
PAUL: You can't just walk out on me like that.
Lee puts some cash on the table and heads off. A few seconds later, a blonde woman sits down opposite Paul and says:
WOMAN: You look like you could use some company. I'm Carol.
PAUL (shrugs): Why not? Lose a few, win a few...
CAROL: She [Lee] really wasn't your type.
PAUL: And *you are*?
CAROL: I'm *everybody's* type: very available and very accommodating.
PAUL (raising his eyebrows): Sounds interesting. Drink?
As Paul pours the wine, Carol goes on:
CAROL: Of course, not everything in this life's *free*...
PAUL: Maybe it's *better* that way?
As the two of them chink glasses, Carol muses:
CAROL: As long as we understand each other...
The house is in darkness when the front door opens and a giant chicken creeps in! Danny removes the head and looks around to make sure no one's there. He then starts creeping to his bedroom, looking relieved but manages to knock something off the table by the wall. Max immediately starts yelling at the noise and calling for Shane and Danny. Danny goes and runs to the window, where he tried to hide behind the curtains! Max, however, spots him and grabs him. Unfortunately, Max gets tangled up in the curtains, which fall on him! Danny manages to crawl away! Shane runs over to Max and starts pulling the curtains off him. Madge joins them and none of them notices Danny crawl into his room.
MAX (furiously): I'll sue him: grievous bodily harm.
Danny emerges from his room, without the chicken outfit, and says, pretending to be tired:
DANNY: Sue? Sue who? What's all the racket?
MAX (snaps): That chook farmer next door.
Max then notices a giant feather on the floor. He picks it up and says gleefully:
MAX: Ah-ha! First thing in the morning I'm going to confront him with this. Yeah! See him talk his way out of *this* one. I've got the evidence!
The next morning, Max runs up to No. 22 and hammers on the front door. He's holding the giant feather. When Clive answers, Max thrusts the feather at him and snaps:
MAX: Not getting away with *this* one, mate. I've got the evidence.
CLIVE (smiles): One of the flock been moulting? Must be getting broody!
MAX (yells): Broody? In *my* home? Breaking and entering, more like.
CLIVE: Must have got the houses mixed up. I'll put a luminous number on mine; that should stop any confusion!
MAX: If your chickens or any other of your animals set foot in my house again, I'll-I'll
CLIVE: Send it back?!
MAX: No! I'll call the RSPCA!
Clive just shuts the door in Max's face, leaving Max looking furious! He storms off. A few seconds later, the front door opens again and Clive looks out!
Back garden of No. 22
Danny peers over the back fence of No. 24 and whistles to Clive, who joins him. He asks Clive if he told Max.
CLIVE: No, but what happened?
DANNY: You locked me out. I couldn't get my clothes back. There was nothing I could do but go back into the house with the suit on. It was close.
Holding out the giant feather, Clive muses:
CLIVE: Tell me about it...
Danny goes to hand the chicken suit back. Clive, however, tells him to hang on to it, as the clients thought he was great last night and he's lined up more jobs for him. Danny, however, retorts that there's no way. Clive takes out his wallet and begins to count out some money. Danny stares at it and then sighs:
DANNY: Well... maybe a *couple* more times but no one's to know it's me.
CLIVE: Good. I won't tell em. Who knows? Couple more chickens and I might even promote you to gorilla!
Jim sits down with Helen at the table as she comments that she hopes Paul settles into his new job.
JIM: It's time he settled into *something*.
HELEN (insists): Give him a chance, Jim. He's young; he's been through the wringer emotionally.
JIM (admits): Yeah, you're right. He hasn't even told us when he's *starting* his new job. It'd better not be today or he's liable to be late!
HELEN: Next week, I think.
Helen then asks:
HELEN: Did you hear him come in last night?
JIM: No and he's too old for me to be waiting up for him.
The two of them suddenly hear the noise of a bedroom door, and Helen comments that that must be Paul now. It's Carol who walks over to them, though, naked apart from a blue towel wrapped around her. She smiles:
CAROL: Oh hi. Could you tell me where the bathroom is?
Jim and Helen just stare at her in shock.