- Tyler asks Piper what she has planned for her birthday.
- Leo flirts with Amy and Elly tells him his chances are zero.
- Terese hires Leo as a consultant, which upsets Sheila
- Paul sees Terese kissing Gary and, just to be original, plots revenge. Yawn.
- He hires someone to dig some dirt on Leo. It turns out he was manager of a night club involved in money laundering
Paul is sitting in the corner. Amy comes in, and Leo offers to buy her coffee. She asks for hers to take away, and he wants to know why she dislikes him. She says she doesn't, but...
AMY: You remind me of an annoying sales rep trying to sell me equipment I don't need.
LEO: Well, how do you know you don't need it until you try it?
AMY: Because I know what I want. And what you're selling isn't it.
Paul asks Amy how she knows Leo. She says she's trying not to. Paul warns her to keep away from him, because he's not a good guy. Pot, kettle much? Paul opens the door and Terese comes in with Piper. Piper asks what Terese has planned for later. She replies that she's busy all day and has no time for lunch, or even a coffee. Piper gets a "Happy Birthday" text from Imogen.
Gary is whistling. Xanthe comments that he sounds happy and he says things are going well at work. She gets a text saying their application for Family Feud has been accepted, and they've got an audition today! This is the first Gary's heard about it, and he's not sure. Xanthe assures him that the four of them will smash it. Gary doesn't think Kyle will be back...
XANTHE: No, Amy. She's basically a Canning anyway.
GARY: I don't know. Should we be flogging ourselves on national TV?
XANTHE: We are exactly the family they are looking for. Funny, enthusiastic, interesting hobbies. Dad, you're just gonna have to suck this one up. Please, for me.
GARY: When did you say the audition was?
XANTHE: Today! Let's go and tell Gran and Amy.
Sheila arrives to find Leo and Terese discussing changes to the wine list and the light at the bar.
LEO: Can you adjust the colour of that back- light?
TERESE: Oh, I think so.
SHEILA: Oh, but I can't see the numbers on the till under a coloured light.
Leo suggests a cheese room. Sheila's not impressed. Terese asks Leo into the office to discuss it privately. Xanthe and Gary arrive, and he tells her not to be disappointed when Sheila says no.
SHEILA: Oh, I'm so glad somebody still thinks my opinion matters.
Xanthe asks her about being on the show, and apparently she loves "Family Feud" because Grant Denyer is such a hottie.
Piper tells Clementine that it hurts that everyone except Imogen forgot her birthday. Except... they didn't. Tyler knocks on the door, carrying a very badly wrapped present. It's a limited edition of Mind Renovation by Dorsal Fins. She says she loves it. He asks what she's doing...
TYLER: Your parents taking you out for fish and chips?
PIPER: Ah, that would require them actually remembering that it is my birthday. It's fine, it's fine. Big events like this probably remind them that Pop and Josh aren't here any more. I get it.
TYLER: You still deserve to celebrate your birthday. Come on, let's go.
Sheila says she won't be able to get the afternoon off, not that Terese would notice if she was there or not, now she's got Leo.
SHEILA: I'm so glad you didn't get yourself involved with that hideous woman
Gary looks sheepish, and then tells Xanthe she should have asked for permission. Xanthe says she wants to show them off to the world! Sort of. When they're asked about work...
XANTHE: (To Gary) You're a CEO of a cleaning company. (To Sheila) You're a hotelier. (To Amy) And you own your own business.
AMY: I do.
XANTHE: Yeah, that's what you'll tell them.
AMY: No, but I really do.
XANTHE: Oh well, that's perfect then. And I am on my way to being an Instagram influencer with the most amazing boyfriend. But there will be no mention of Frankston, gnomes or keeping pigeons.
Leo tells David that Amy was disappointed he left early. David says that Amy seems nice, but that Leo should "go for it" if Amy will have him. David asks why he's got the job at Lassiter's. Leo says he wants to give David time to find their father.
Tyler and Piper are walking along a jetty eating chips (apparently she hates sand). She says it's gone from the worst birthday to one of the best. He says a bad birthday involves "complete humiliation". She wants to know what happened, and eventually he tells her:
TYLER: Mum decided that she wanted to show us her favourite film on my fifth birthday.
TYLER: Yeah. You know ET?
PIPER: Yeah, yeah cute film.
TYLER: Yeah, right. So she decides it's the perfect opportunity to have her dream photo shoot.
PIPER: Oh no! Did she dress you up as ET?!
TYLER: No, worse. Picture a little five- year- old boy with blond curly hair as played by Drew Barrymore
PIPER: Oh - that's why your brothers call you Gertie!
PIPER: I have to see the photo!
Tyler says he destroyed the photo and the negative, adding that he's never told a girl that before.
PIPER: Don't worry Gertie. It's in the vault.
Family Feud Offices
Xanthe, Gary, Sheila and Amy arrive with Diana who starts to interview them. Gary is to be team captain. He introduces the family with Xanthe's "help": Sheila ("advisor to the mayor"), Amy, who says she's not a Canning ("technically you are") and Xanthe ("in a band, and speaks frequent Japanese").
DIANA: So, Sheila, I see you own a hotel.
SHEILA: I run a hotel actually.
DIANA: And Amy, you're a construction tycoon.
AMY: One business landscaping and odd jobs, mainly.
DIANA: And Gary, you are the CEO of a cleaning company.
GARY: Oh, I can't lie, I'm just a cleaner.
AMY: And if we're putting all our cards on the table, my business is just me really.
XANTHE: Amy, why would you say that?
AMY: If we're going on TV, it might all come out.
XANTHE: You don't need to let them know.
SHEILA: It's important to be honest. Um, I'm actually employed to run a pub. But I do advise the mayor, over the bar.
GARY: I race pigeons.
AMY: I've just started online dating.
SHEILA: I like gnomes.
XANTHE: You guys are ruining this.
GARY: (imitates a pigeon) Oh, that was a pigeon.
SHEILA: Yeah... not a phone.
Amy tells Paul that Xanthe wanted them to get through. Paul says the Cannings are bogans, and Amy says they've been good to her and she wanted to say thank you. She's bought some flowers to cheer Xanthe up. Leo comes over, and asks if she's got any recommendations for a plant for his great- grandmother's room.
AMY: I'm a chippie not a florist.
Very Star Trek. Amy introduces Paul, who says they've met. He comments how he's heard Leo has a record for turning night clubs around, and tells him to drop into the Flame Tree. Leo says his previous comment was based on a review, so Paul tells him to make up his own mind. Leo agrees and asks Amy along. She refuses.
Near the beach
Piper starts laughing at the thought of Tyler as Drew Barrymore, and wants him to recreate it. They end up with their arms around each other. He says she's 17 and she says it sounds better than 16.
Xanthe tells Ben how she thought it all went wrong and she's obviously inherited all the wrong things.
BEN: Maybe you inherited some dodgy Canning genes.
BEN: No, look at the whole picture. If they're responsible for all of this, then they've created a masterpiece.
Terese asks Paige for a strong latter, and Paige offers to help organise something for Piper's birthday. Terese is horrified as she's got confused with the date.
TERESE: How could I forget my own daughter's birthday?!
Indeed. Isn't it in your phone? Xanthe says she forgot because of Family Feud. Hmm, likewise. Ben said he tried to call, but her phone was off. Paige goes to find her, and tells the others to work out how to celebrate.
Paul has come to visit Leo to do a spot of blackmail. Yawn. He wants Leo to stop working for Terese.
PAUL: You see it's my number one mission in life to make sure that her business is a complete failure. And if you want that dodgy little story of yours kept quiet, you'll make it your mission as well.
Leo tells him it's public record... and he's investigated Paul.
LEO: This vendetta against Terese is not just a business rivalry, is it?
Paul says there's a lot he (Leo) won't find using a computer. Leo tells him to make a better offer.
LEO: You're a tired fish in a small pond. Your time's over, old man. There are newer, bigger, fitter fish in the pond now.
PAUL: Yeah, the thing about big fish is they tend to get caught. Slippery fish, on the other hand, they're the ones that tend to survive. I know which one I'd rather be.
And with that, TeflonPaul™ leaves the room.
No 24 - drive
Tyler asks Piper if she sure nobody's planning a surprise party. Well, it wouldn't really be a surprise party then would it? She asks if he's been invited, and he says Terese might not want him there.
PIPER: No, I think I should accept the fact that Mum wasn't faking her cluelessness this morning.
TYLER: Have you checked your phone?
PIPER: I turned it off.
She says she didn't want to be waiting for birthday messages, or worse, not getting any. Tyler puts the LP (her present) on the conveniently placed turntable. She says they played it at the formal and she would have asked him to dance. He says he's the world's worst dancer - and dances a few steps.
PIPER: That's really bad.
TYLER: Show me how it's done then...Beyoncé.
She starts to dance and he joins her and they dance some ballroom- type dance. Paige arrives, followed by Aaron. She tells him not to disturb them.
Piper arrives home and Terese, Paige, Ben and Xanthe have organised a surprise. Terese apologises for forgetting, and Piper says she's had an amazing day. (Brad is not in this episode coming later for dinner.) Paige tells Piper that all she wants is for her to be happy, and they hug. Xanthe gets a call saying they've got to the final round of Family Feud.
Outside, Terese is putting the rubbish out and she sees Paul knocking at the door. She greets him in a friendly way, asking him if he's written a letter about revoking Jacka's bail. He says it's been a tough year for her, but he didn't think she'd be that desperate. He's seen her with Gary.
PAUL: You really have sunk to new lows, haven't you? I mean, sleeping with the man who I paid to spy on you.
He tells her that Gary stole her strategy file. He walks off, looking smug. Terese looks concerned.
- Mark thinks the brakes have been cut on the camper van.
- The women in the balloon
- Mark tells Ned that Jacka is out for revenge
- Regan turns up in the balloon, while Jacka smirks below
- Mark says that the best way to hurt Ned is to hurt the people he cares about
- Elly asks Regan what she's doing there
- Jacka sneaking around
- The women screaming