Paul tells Ned he's going to be fired at the next Lassiters board meeting, because he's now Mr 51%
Chris tells Steiger and Pepper that she's had a girlfriend for nearly a year.
Elle sees Max in a parking lot.
Chris and Janae are having lunch and Chris offers to pay because Janae's been a clever clogs. It's really quite boring but apparently Janae worked out that it was the alternator that had a problem, not whatever the coil, which Chris thought it was. Pepper comes in and asks if they've had any luck with the car. They have, so Pepper can collect it tomorrow morning. Pepper wants to know how much she owes and Chris insists that she doesn't have to pay but Pepper says (rudely and abruptly and very disrespectfully, considering it's her mother) that she doesn't need Chris' charity. Janae clearly agrees, because she says it's none of her business but Pepper is way out of line treating her mum that way. It's apparently fully selfish and really mean. Pepper says she's right, it's none of Janae's business and leaves. Janae asks Chris where Pepper gets of freezing her out. Chris tells Janae to leave it alone, she's got no right to talk to Pepper like that but Janae thinks it's Pepper who doesn't have the right to talk to Chris like that. Janae explains that it's only Chris' guilty conscience that is letting her get away with it. She knows that Chris should have told Pepper about Carol earlier, but Pepper didn't exactly rush to 'fess up about her bogus engagement to Frazer. Chris thinks it's different. Janae sees it in black and white - they both made a mistake. Chris forgave Pepper but how is it fair that Pepper couldn't do the same for her? Chris thanks her for her concern.
Bree is (presumably) talking about Toadie, saying how helpless he looks. Janelle says he's stable; he's going to be fine. Dylan says something about Dwayne (Anyone noticed that there have recently been a few mentions of the elusive Dwayne and the whole six kids thing?) and how he hit Toadie with a spud gun and Toadie didn't feel it. Janelle suddenly announces that she's been thinking about her bust - she means her sculpture, the one she's going to have erected at Lassiters. As the new face of the hotel, she thinks it's only right that her bust be on display for all the guests to appreciate. Dylan and Bree simply chant yes, but their faces are those of fear/bewilderment. Ned comes in and asks them to be referees. Bree wants to know what he needs a resumé for. Ned explains that Paul's going to sack him at the next board meeting. Dylan would like to see him try but as Ned says, Paul now controls 51%, so his head's on a chopping board (not exactly where I'd like to see Ned's head, but not far wrong). Janelle insists that Ned's not going anywhere: he got kicked out of number 30 and his girlfriend might have gone psycho but he'll always have Timmins Inc. looking out for him.
Pepper's explaining to Steiger that her car is broken so she's had to walk everywhere.
STEIGER: What's wrong with it?
PEPPER: I don't know, the terminator or something?
STEIGER: The alternator?
PEPPER: Yeah, that's it. Anyway...
She goes on to explain that it's been amazing because she thought she couldn't live without it but now she feels fantastic. Her bum is rock hard. She's going to suggest all the kids start walking to school to beat the obesity problem. He should too, if he ever gets the chance to go anywhere by foot, he should. His gut's got a little bit bigger over the years... she's wittering away rather quickly. Steiger asks why she doesn't just talk to her mother. Not talking is what makes relationships fall apart and he should know because it's what made his marriage go belly up. Steiger explains that if Pepper can forgive him for being a dodgy father she can forgive her mother for, wait for it, 'finding the love she deserves'. Steiger *actually* said that! Pepper thinks she doesn't even know who her mother is. Steiger says that's not true. Pepper asks how either of them know anything she says is true. Their whole family is a lie because of her. Steiger says that Pepper is smarter than that but Pepper doesn't understand how he can be so calm, it's like he doesn't even care. Steiger cares, but he knows Chris: she loved Pepper yesterday, she loves her today and she'll lover her tomorrow. Chris has been brave telling them about that part of herself and they should respect her for it, not punish her. Pepper says that's easy to say. Steiger asks if she'd rather Chris kept lying to her. What's Pepper going to do if she has a kid and they turn out to be gay? Is she going to turn her back on them too? It's time they all moved on. Pepper asks him if he's moving onto 'mutton dressed as lamb' Janelle Timmins. Steiger thinks that's unfair. Pepper takes that as yes and says (sarcastically) that's perfect because then she will have lost both of her parents (only child, anyone?) Steiger tells her it'll be her call. He leaves.
Janelle's being pulled over by a police car. Dylan says she so didn't indicate at the last turn. Bree thinks this was because Janelle was too busy checking her lipstick. Janelle doesn't know what her mind was on. Oh really? Surprise, Steiger gets out of the police car. Bree and Dylan suss what Janelle did just as Janelle says to Steiger in a really flirty voice, 'What seems to be the problem, officer?' Steiger thinks that 'Mrs Timmins' knows what the problem is. Janelle informs him that it's Ms Timmins these days.
STEIGER: See that thing on the steering column? It's an indicator. It's used to indicate when a car changes direction.
JANELLE: Oh, I'm sorry, I was just pre-occupied with my bust.
BREE: She means her sculpture.
JANELLE: Oh, you didn't think I was talking about (she looks down at her cleavage and slaps Steiger's hand as she laughs)... you!
STEIGER: I'm booking you for failing to indicate whilst executing a turn at an uncontrolled intersection.
JANELLE: I understand. You've got a job to do.
STEIGER: Try and be a bit more careful in the future, eh?
JANELLE: Yes sir!
Steiger walks off, and Dylan explains that this is why you should never date a copper. Bree adds that Janelle'll never be able to break the law again. Janelle says that they're right, they're on the money, she doesn't know what she was thinking. Bree's not having any of it, and points out that she deliberately didn't indicate. Janelle chucks the ticket over the side of the car and insists that she doesn't know what they're talking about; she would never try and attract a man's attention by deliberately breaking the law and she resents the implication that she would. What gives her away is that she spends the entire duration of her speech looking at Steiger in her wing mirror. Steiger comes up to her and waves the discarded ticket at her.
JANELLE: Hello again!
BREE and DYLAN: Mum!!!
Bree is exclaiming at the six tickets Janelle scored. Janelle doesn't care, they're rolling in dough. She asks Dylan and Bree if they saw the way Steiger's muscles tense when he writes. Dylan changes the subject and explains that they're going to have a quick lunch then they'll cook up a plan of attack for the board meeting. Bree wonders if Paul really got Mr 2% to sell him his shares. Janelle says he's bluffing but her attention has been distracted by Steiger's entry to the bar. She nudges in front of Steiger to get to the bar and orders a bottle of their finest 'vino bianco'. Doesn't she mean blanco? I think so. She tosses her hair to look at Steiger, who is wondering if Janelle is stalking him. She just orders a double scotch for her daughter. Her underage daughter.
STEIGER: If you're mum's paying you'd better make it single malt. Or better still, malted milk. Steak. Rare. Corner table.
Bree thinks the malted milk thing was funny. He's a funny guy. I hope the sarcasm that was in Bree's voice has come across. Paul comes in so Janelle rushes over and says she's got a bone to pick with him. What with the Rosie thing recently and the way he dumped Lyn, I'm starting to find Paul generally annoying. This problem isn't alleviated when he greets Janelle with, 'Ah, Janelle, my little sugar plum! What a delightful surprise. How's the brood?' Janelle ignores him and tells him he's got some nerve telling Ned porkies about controlling 51% of Lassiters. Paul plays dumb and asks if Ned really said that. He then points out that Ned's a bit of an idiot (you got that right) and is easily confused (ditto). Janelle points out that his personal training business is raking it in and his elf thing raised more for charity than Lassiters ever did. Paul says it's heartwarming. He's gone. Janelle insists that Ned stays, end of story. Paul goes really weird and looks a bit funny. He tells Janelle that she can't threaten him. Janelle doesn't get what he means. Paul says he will not be bullied or intimidated. Janelle's like, 'by me?' and still doesn't get it. If I'm honest, neither do I but it's quite amusing. Paul concedes to absolutely nothing and explains that he might have been hasty in giving Ned the flick he's going to stand by his decision. Janelle says it looks like it comes down to a vote that afternoon. Dylan adds that Mr Mystery 2% always likes to play fair. Paul is still playing the threatened man, still don't get it. He says that they haven't heard the last of it. Janelle makes some jibe about her being able to smell desperation. Paul says that he thinks Mr 2% will make the right decision because it's business and nothing personal. Janelle explains to Paul that he ruined Lyn's chances of happiness, so it's very, very personal. Dylan gives Paul one last dirty look before he and Janelle walk away. Paul smirks.
Max is with his mystery woman unpacking the groceries from their car. Elle pulls up to have a look see at what's going on. She sees Max and his mystery woman go into the house together. Then Max runs outside with the two children. Max is holding a little blonde girl and is playfully chasing the little boy with olive skin and dark hair. He takes them both back into the house. Elle's seen enough. She tells her driver to drive on.
Steiger's telling the barman to keep the change and give compliments to the chef - the steak was fantastic, a little bit overdone but other than that great. He walks over to Chris, who's telling Janae about her first Falcon that was a metallic blue or something. Steiger apologises for interrupting and tells Chris that he thinks it's time to smooth the family waters and he was thinking a family barbecue might do the trick, what does she reckon? Chris reckons it's his solution to every problem. Steiger explains that it's a winning formula. Chris thinks they should give Pepper a bit more time to cool off. Janae interrupts, and says that she thinks the way Steiger is handling Chris's new relationship is really ace. Steiger's a bit thrown and thanks her. Janae feels a need to continue, adding that she thinks any woman would be lucky to have him and actually she was saying that to Janelle the other day. Steiger wants her to stop, but Janae doesn't get the hint from his uncomfortable response. She thinks it's amazing that he hasn't been snapped up by some lucky lady. If only he knew some spunky blonde - well bottle blonde but who can tell - in her mid forties - thirties if you squint - who's interested in dating an upstanding man of the law. Chris sees the look of fear and worry on Steiger's face and tells her she can take the rest of the day off. Janae jumps at the chance, saying work is so much better than school as she runs off. Chris laughs and says, 'So, Janelle Timmins.' Steiger wants to change the subject and asks her when is good for the barbecue. Chris doesn't want to change the subject and tells him that Janae reckons Janelle's got it bad. Steiger asks if they have to do this. Chris makes some joke about it being the uniform and tells him he could do worse. Steiger says that he's arrested more Timmins' than he cares to remember; it would be inappropriate. Chris thinks it's better than sitting at home watching repeats of Bluey or something like that. Besides, if Janae is anything to go by, Janelle can't be all that bad. Steiger looks at her and obviously, his mind is ticking, he's beginning to warm to the idea et cetera, et cetera.
Janae answers the door to Dylan, who tells her that he totally needs her help. Janae tells him to get a haircut. Dylan doesn't appreciate the joke and says that the brother/sister banter thing is not really working out. Janae wants him to fast forward to the point - she's having 'me time'. Dylan reveals all - Janelle's break-the-law-to-get-Steiger's-attention plan is getting out of control. Janae thinks it's harmless flirting. Dylan thinks she's going to get locked up. Janae thinks she's going to get asked out.
DYLAN: Yeah, by Steiger. Like, bleugh.
JANAE: There's no like bleugh about it. The package is a good guy.
JANAE: Well he's the full package, I mean he's sensitive but macho, courageous but cautious.
DYLAN: You are kidding me!
JANAE: Mum could do way worse.
DYLAN: So now you both got the hots for him. What is he? A contagious disease? Am I next?!
JANAE: Look, you could learn a lot from the package.
DYLAN: Stop calling him that!
Janae answers a knock at the door and it's Elle. Dylan jumps up and asks how Tasmania was. Elle's standoffish. Dylan explains that he's been thinking about them a lot and it'd be great to talk. Elle avoids the question and explains that she came to see Boyd or Steph. Dylan gets it and although he looks a bit hurt by this, he leaves. Janae tells Elle that Steph and Boyd aren't there, did she want something? Elle hesitates before blurting out, 'I found Max.' Janae can't believe it but thinks it's great, Steph and Boyd are going to be wrapped. Elle tells her not to be so sure. Janae's oblivious and still has a big grin on her face when she asks why. Elle tells her that Max is living with another woman. The grin is quickly wiped off Janae's face.
Paul is sitting in the office waiting for the board meeting to start and outside we can hear the voice of Janelle asking Dylan and Bree if her outfit makes her bum look big. Dylan and Bree say no. They come in with Ned in tow and Janelle announces that she's brought him along because she thought he'd get a kick out of seeing him lose the vote. Paul is really sarcastic and says the more the merrier before telling Ned that if there any big words he doesn't understand he should feel free to speak up. Dylan just wants to get on with it. Paul says that he's emailed the agenda to Mr 2% and he's awaiting his reply to item number one. Janelle gloats that they're going to enjoy it until Paul gloats himself - Mr 2% has voted with him so Ned is out on his ear. Janelle cannot, cannot, cannot believe it and Ned himself is a little shocked. However, given his limited acting abilities it's not so much shock as blank expression, open mouth. Paul tells Ned to look on the bright side - Paul got to sack him twice. Janelle is convinced that Paul ambushed them, Paul thinks that's one word for it but is more concerned with counting down the seconds until he calls security to get rid of Ned. Janelle is more concerned about Mr 2% having voted with Paul. She's worked it out and exclaims that Paul bought him off for the vote. Paul says they both know that it would be unethical but that if she finds Mr 2%, could she tell him thanks from Paul? Janelle calls him an evil little weed. Paul moves along to item number two. The Timmins' leave.
Janae is still shocked and suggests it might have been somebody that looked like Max. Elle reiterates that it was Max and adds that she was really excited to see him, she'd really wanted to help Steph and Boyd find him. Janae informs her that they're not going to be too grateful if she's turned up Max and his bit on the side. Elle asks what she should do. Janae wants to know if Max and the woman were definitely an item. Elle can't swear but Janae should have seen them with the kids. It's clear that Elle left this part out and Janae is even more shocked with this additional revelation. It means they can't tell Steph and Boyd anything until she's seen him with her own eyes.
Paul is sitting alone and Dylan comes in to ask him if he's celebrating with his mates. Dylan wants to apologise for treating Elle so badly and for Janelle getting on her high horse lately. Paul's not taking it all that well. Dylan thinks that war between the Timmins' and the Robinsons isn't going to do anyone any good. Paul says he's impressed and reminds him of the time when he thought of Dylan as a son. Dylan thinks they might be able to get back to those days - he'd really like that. Paul starts laughing and says, 'Oh please!' He sweated blood to make Lassiters what it is today, does Dylan think he's going to let a bunch of bogans run it into the ground? Dylan's idiot mother could have sat back and raked in the profits from her share, according to Paul. Dylan points out that his idiot mother has never been a silent partner in anything. Paul says that no, she was too busy making stupid threats. She was the one that turned it into a war and Paul relishes a good scrap. If Dylan were to sell Paul his shares...Dylan tells him there's not a chance. Then Janelle is not the only one that can make threats - before the year is over, Paul is going to see that the Timmins' are back where they belong - in the caravan park. 10/1 he'll probably own that as well.
Elle thinks what they're doing is like stalking. Janae asks what teenage girl hasn't staked out a guy's house before. Elle wishes she had never seen him, then she sees Max through the rear view mirror. Janae thinks he looks sad and lonely. Elle asks if they're going to tell Steph. Janae tells her yes, absolutely; he's supposed to be at home with Steph and Charlie. Janae remembers poor Toadie, who's stuck in the middle of all this. Elle makes some comment about him not being the only one. Janae doesn't know what she means. Elle's referring to the woman Max is living with. Janae says she'll believe that when she sees it and gets out of the car. Elle calls after her to no avail.
Bree is reading from the paper:
Dynamic lady business tycoon seeks local artist to create commanding sculpture of said lady.
BREE: I can't believe you wrote this.
JANELLE: Keep going.
Only male artists need apply.
JANELLE: How good is that?!
BREE: Mum! This is sexist and illegal. You can't specify someone's sex in a job ad.
JANELLE: Well I'm not posing for some hairy chick in sensible shoes, I want a hot young stud.
BREE: I'm amazed I'm as normal as I am.
JANELLE: You wanna help me audition them? We could warm up the old casting couch!
Dylan comes in saying that they're in a good mood considering the board room disaster. Janelle tells him to cheer up - Mr 2% might be in Paul's back pocket but it's only round one and they've got a long way to go yet. Dylan thinks it's all downhill: Paul will crush them and enjoy every minute of it. Bree thinks Janelle's right, they've got people power on their side. Dylan asks how she figured that. Bree asks him to name one Lassiters employee who wouldn't like to see the back of Paul. Janelle says something about the workers never being defeated and anyway, who's to say the mystery man will always side with Paul? Dylan asks Janelle if she really thinks they can take him on. They've got Timmins spirit, enough cousins to sink a battleship and two legs each - he doesn't stand a chance.
Paul is on the phone to the travel agent - they're to give Lyn and Oscar whatever they want. He wants five star treatment all the way and he'll pay for it. Ned comes in just as Paul finished his call. Paul sees he's been looking at jobs in the paper and if he ever needs a reference... Ned says thanks but no thanks. Paul doesn't think he's really qualified for any jobs there, but then come to think of it he's not really qualified for anything. Then he points one out, saying, 'Oh look, here's one. No intelligence necessary.' During this exchange Pepper has come in. She walks right up to Paul and says, 'They really will let anyone in this place, won't they?' Paul looks at Ned and replies, 'Clearly.' Pepper wonders what the employment section is all about; he's got a great job. Ned explains what happened including that Lassiters now own his personal training business. Pepper asks him if he could just start again but he wonders what the point is; his life's always going to suck. They've written the line for him, now it's time to order him a taxi straight from Erinsborough to Sucksville. Pepper makes some comment about him looking on the bright side. Ned apologises for bringing her down but Pepper says it's nice to see somebody feeling even more sorry for themselves than her. She has a Pepper brainwave, a very unique sort of brainwave that occurs only in the mind of one Miss Heidi 'Pepper' Steiger. She's a poorly paid PE teacher, he's an out of work personal trainer. Why don't they start a PT business together? Ned's not keen on the idea. Well, why would you go into business with one of the people that helped get you kicked out of your home? Anyway, he explains that he's got to get a whole new career and makes some random comment about sounding like Karl. He has no idea what it might be, though.
Janae and Elle are sneaking up towards the house that Max has been going in and out of. Elle's not so sure about this: it's probably illegal.
JANAE: What? And you call yourself a Robinson!
They creep up next to some French windows where inside we see a children's party going on and Max seemingly playing happy families. Janae turns to Elle and says, 'So much for sad and lonely.' Elle asks what they're going to do now. Janae doesn't know.
Janae looks around for Steph or Boyd as Elle follows her in talking away. Elle is insistent that they have to tell Steph and Boyd because it's huge. Janae explains that Boyd and Summer think that Boyd was a great dad who got sick and had to leave. Anything else is just going to hurt them. Elle thinks they need to know that their father is safe and alive. Janae thinks they deserve the chance to get on with their lives, which is what they're doing. Elle asks about Steph - if it was Boyd would Janae want to know? Janae tells Elle that Steph is in love with Toadie now and he's good for her - does she want to ruin that? Elle asks what if Max is still a good guy, a guy that needs help. Janae replies that they saw him today with his new family, they're all perfect. Elle thinks that doing nothing doesn't feel right. Janae suddenly realises: maybe it's not the first time. Elle wonders what she means. Janae explains that when Max's first wife died he spent ages working on the oil rigs. What if the whole oil rig thing was just a massive cover story for what they saw today? Elle asks if Janae thinks Max is living a double life? Janae suggests that he was feeling better after his freak out and decided to wipe his Erinsborough family. Elle doesn't think this is the case. Janae thinks it would explain why he's off playing happy families in Warratah Park.
ELLE: A whole secret family?
JANAE: Which is why you have to swear that you won't say anything about this. Boyd and Steph can never know.